Monday, April 09, 2012

If George Lucas did "Titanic"...

So, in honour of being able to charge people to see the same film again, "Titanic" has been re-released in the cinema in glorious 3D. Naturally, in order to gain the extra D, the makers have had to do some work to "improve" the special effects, just like George Lucas does every time he revisits "Star Wars". As far as I know, they haven't changed anything else.

But what if they did? What if "Titanic" had, in fact, been directed by George Lucas...
  1. The iceberg would fire first.
  2. Manikin Billy Zane would be replaced with a new CGI Billy Zane. (Okay, that's not really fair. But it's not his best performance ever...)
  3. The Titanic band would be digitally replaced with a CGI band performing a new "Jedi Rocks" number.
  4. At the end, Ghost Jack would be played by Hayden Christensen.
  5. Kate Winslet's nipples would be replaced with walkie-talkies.

I'm sure there's more. Anyone want to contribute?


Chris Brind said...

They all sound like distinct improvements to me.

Anonymous said...

That's really funny!

Chris said...

"Use the oars, Luke..."