Friday, June 29, 2018

It Must Be Hell Being an England Fan

On Sunday, the heights of euphoria - a magnificant win over Panama. 6-1! The greatest thing ever! Clearly, England are going to win the World Cup! It's coming home! And all that nonsense.

Except... Panama are really a team that England should be beating, and beating handsomely. Yes, 6-1 is a great result, and yes it was a good performance, but still... There aren't really any indications to be read here. As you were.

Today, the depths of despair - a defeat to Belgium meaning they only came second in their group. Disaster! They'll be going out in the next round. Woe! Woe!

But, again... it was obvious from last night's match that England really weren't trying very hard. Rightly or wrongly, Southgate was clearly convinced that it was better to lose that match, take the slightly-tougher match against Colombia (rather than Japan) but then have the benefit of avoiding the possibility of Brazil before the final, and so forth.

Now, it's entirely reasonable to question the wisdom of that approach. After all, Colombia aren't a team to take lightly, so there's certainly a risk of it all backfiring.

But the thing is: that was the decision that he'd obviously made - better to lose that match and take his chances.

So, again, that game really can't be taken as any indication of how they're going to do in the future matches. The result means nothing, since it's what they played for. The performance means nothing, because they weren't trying particularly hard.

Seriously, it's the most ridiculous hyperbole about Sunday's triumph and Thursday's disaster... ignoring the fact that actually England are yet to really meet with either of them. Tuesday's match against Colombia will be the first time we actually see how well they can do when really tested.

Monday, June 25, 2018

Solo: A Star Wars Story

Brace yourself for something I never expected to say: Thandie Newton is the best thing about this film.

(Perhaps unfairly, she had attained the unfortunate distinction of being my least-favourite actor, and one of two who would actively drive me to avoid a film - the other being Patrick Dempsey. (Okay, technically, there's Russell Brand as well. But I've always considered him a comedian rather than an actor. Well, 'comedian'.))

"Solo" is actually an entirely fine film. The cast is pretty good, the performances are decent, the action is as thrilling as you expect in a prequel (where there can be no tension, since you know how things are going to turn out for most characters, and can be pretty sure about the rest). Granted, it also has Emelia Clarke in it, who I'm afraid I also don't rate, but she's okay here. And Donald Glover is excellent, so makes up for a lot of ills.

Unfortunately, though, "Solo" is also a rather pointless film - firstly because we really didn't need to have Han's backstory filled in, secondly because much of it is a box-ticking exercise working through almost everything we know about the character, and thirdly because it is, as noted, a prequel... and prequels suck.

So, um... if you're looking for something to kill a couple of hours in an inoffensive way, "Solo" will do it. But, to be honest, I think I'd recommend seeing "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" instead, and I'd certainly recommend "Avengers: Infinity War" over this one.

(One last thing. In terms of the Star Wars films, I'd rank "Solo" on a par with "The Last Jedi", placing it above the prequel trilogy but below "The Force Awakens", "Rogue One", and the original trilogy. It's actually rather more enjoyable than "The Last Jedi"... but TLJ gets considerable credit for at least trying something new, even if it didn't work out. "Solo" really doesn't, playing things very safe, and so while it's the film I'd rather see again, it's also not something I'd encourage.)

#29: "The Magic Faraway Tree", by Enid Blyton (a book from The List)

Friday, June 22, 2018

Bumblebee

I've just seen the trailer for the new Transformers spin-off film, "Bumblebee". On the one hand, it looks really quite good - certainly better than the other films in the series.

On the other hand:
  1. Prequels suck.
  2. Bumblebee is, frankly, the least good of all the Transformers.
  3. It's part of a series that hasn't exactly covered itself in glory thus far.

Thursday, June 21, 2018

Trump Must Go

I really don't like sounding off about the internal politics of another country. But sometimes you just can't keep quiet.

Due to where we were on our visit to the US, most of the people we met while we were there were Republican voters. And they were, almost without exception, perfectly nice, reasonable people. (There was one very nasty homophobic comment I overheard while at Barefoot Landing. As I said, almost without exception.) So I'm very well aware that there are plenty of perfectly nice, reasonable Republican voters.

But.

When the current US government implemented their "zero tolerance" policy towards immigration, and started forcibly separating children from their parents, they crossed a point of no return. Traumatising children to deter their parents from seeking asylum is unconscionable. Even attempting to justify it shames the person who tries. And it's not good enough simply to row back from that policy and carry on as if everything was now okay. As I said, it's a point of no return.

(Horrifying as it already is, it really looks like we're only just seeing the tip of the iceberg, and that it's going to get much, much worse. It is estimated that, due to bureaucratic incompetence, it will now be impossible to reunite some hundreds of those children with their parents, ever. I have seen reports that, in order to keep those traumatised children quiet and docile, they have been given very strong anti-psychotic medications that will damage them permanently. And where are the girls?)

In an ideal world, all those responsible for this - from the man at the top who ordered it right down to the people at the bottom who implemented it (who, no doubt, were "only following orders") would face trial for their actions. Alas, I'm not naive enough to believe that that will ever happen, so we'll have to be satisfied with them being driven out of office.

Which brings me back to those "perfectly nice, resonable" Republican voters. Because if Trump and his administration are to be removed, it must be at the ballot box. If the judiciary step in to impeach and remove him, that will be painted as the "liberal elite" taking action to defy the voters and prevent him "making America great again".

So, from now until this regime is swept away, it comes down to this: any vote for any Republican will be taken as a vote to endorse this regime and their actions - both by that regime and also by the watching world. They need to be starved of those votes.

(Now, I understand that, for various reasons, lots of people could never bring themselves to vote Democrat. Fair enough. But in that case, the choice is simple: don't vote. And don't be taken in by the argument that it is your civic duty to cast a vote. Sometimes, it's your moral duty to refuse.)

It must be made very clear to the powers-that-be in the Republican party that Trump and those who follow him, those who would adopt his tactics, and those who would adopt his policies are not acceptable to those nice, reasonable Republicans. That this must never happen again.

You need to reclaim your party.

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Echo of a Silenced Voice

Until his untimely death in 2006, my favourite author was David Gemmell. By that point I had read everything that he had written, or so I thought. (After that point, I had three favourite authors: Terry Pratchett, Conn Iggulden, and Bernard Cornwell. I'm now down to two.) So it was something of a surprise, late last year, when I learned that there were not one but two 'new' books by Gemmell coming out this year!

The truth is that one of these two is actually a reprint - "White Knight/Black Swan" was originally published under a pseudonym and has recently been republished under Gemmell's own name. The other, "Rhyming Rings", was recently discovered having never been published.

I read the latter book on the way back from the US, and it was good. It clearly wasn't his best work, and also was a murder mystery rather than my preferred fantasy, but still...

(That said, it does have one huge weakness, and it's very similar to Rowling's "The Cuckoo's Calling" in that regard - the revelation of the person who was responsible for the murders just doesn't work. More than that I can't really say without spoilers, and I'm inclined to think the book is worth reading even with that flaw. Which, actually, is also true of "The Cuckoo's Calling".)

Anyway, it was really good to revisit an old favourite, and equally good to find that the writing still holds up. Bring on the next book!

The Promised Land

So, LC, FS and I had made it to America for the family wedding. Yay!

Our first adventure was simply getting from the airport to the condo we had hired for the week. This involved picking up our hire car (which was easy); fitting the child seat we had hired (which was definitely not easy, especially when the assistant said he couldn't even advise on how to do it, for liability reasons); and fitting six people, six cases, six sets of hand luggage, and a stroller all into a seven-seater car (which was just barely possible).

And then the drive. Here, we'd made a crucial mistake - I had decided not to pay for GPS in the car, on the grounds that we'd print directions and, if necessary, we'd switch on our phones' data and use that (and pay through the nose for it). However, on making our way out of the airport we immediately went in a different direction from that indicated by the directions, rendering them useless, and proceeded to drive five miles in the wrong direction!

Getting turned around, we then drove for a while in the right direction before starting to wonder just how much further we had to go. We'd turned on data on one of the phones, and discovered that it didn't connect properly, and was consequently useless...

At this point, we noted that the road parallel to the one we were on was the one we wanted*, so we turned right and then left, and started looking for numbers. It became clear that the numbers were higher than we wanted, and increasing, so we turned around and drove for a while, looking for the place. And then, "Aliens"-like, we discovered that we'd passed the number and had gone too far...

Well, it turned out that we were in Myrtle Beach while the place we were looking for was in North Myrtle Beach, where all the streets had exactly the same names but independent numbering. (* So, not really the road we wanted after all...)

Naturally, by this point everyone was tired and ratty and starting to snap at each other. Fortunately, FS took this opportunity for a highly-strategic cry and demanded to be fed. So we had to pull in to a car park to let LC do this.

I say 'fortunately', because the place we stopped at had a group of people clustered around the entrance. So I went and asked for directions, whereupon they promptly pulled out their phones, pulled up the map, and we were all set - three steps, 23 minutes, and we'd be there!

And, sure enough, we were.

(The other crucial mistake we made: Google Maps does of course allow you to download maps for offline use. Since the condo had wi-fi available, we were able to do this later, and so never got lost again. Still, we should probably have done it before we went. But then, I know that now...)

The condo was really nice - three large bedrooms, each with some sort of en suite facilities, and a vertigo-inducing balcony. We were on the top floor, which gave really good views, but enforced a "stay back from the railing" policy.

The focal point of the week was, of course, the family wedding on the Saturday. So, on the Thursday I unpacked my pipes and practiced briefly, mostly to make sure they'd come through okay. They had indeed, though playing in the heat was pretty intense - the pipes actually sounded great, but it was exhausting. Still, it was good fun looking out from the balcony and seeing everyone walking around coming to a halt and looking around in puzzlement. Plus, the applause I got at the end was rather nice.

The rest of day one was mostly spent getting groceries for the week and going to the beach. Which was fun, but a bit of a blur - we were all still pretty worn out from the journey.

Day two was dominated by the wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, where I learned what I was actually doing on the big day. It turned out I was doing more than expected - in addition to the normal 20 mins before the service, I was doing a processional for the mothers and grandmothers of the bride and groom and a second processional for the entrance of the bridesmaids/matrons of honor/maid of honor (of whom there were 9 - it was a big wedding party). Then I was playing a recessional for the full weddding party. But that was good - having come all that way, I might as well be useful!

The rehearsal dinner was great - a good chance to get to know a lot of the bride's family and to mingle, plus some really great food. I especially liked the mac & cheese, and the garlic bread rolls were amazing.

And then came the big day, and with it came the usual nerves.

The day started with me taking LC to get her hair done for the day - she had decided to wear it up that day, and the stylist did a really good job. (More than that I'm not qualified to comment. Sorry!) Then back to the condo for a very quick lunch, then a flurry of getting ready (with a strategic meltdown by FS, who of course demanded to be fed and changed just as LC really needed to be getting herself ready). And then to the car, and on to the church.

The service was lovely. The bride wore a white dress (tee hee), off the shoulder, with a long train and a veil. Surprisingly, the only singing in the service was from one of the bride's matrons of honor, firstly for the entrance of the bride and then again as they lit the "unity candle". The service was really quite touching.

The piping went well. I was happy with that.

Then we went to a nearby hotel for many pictures and the wedding breakfast. That was all pretty standard stuff. There were also speeches, and dancing - the first dance, a father/daughter dance, a mother/son dance, a dance of the bridesmaids, and then more dancing during the evening.

All in all, it was a really great day. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

The rest of the holiday is a bit of a blur, as the tiredness really started to catch up with me. There was a visit to a nearby town (that, sadly, turned out not to be particularly interesting), a little shopping, a massive thunderstorm (including a walk home in very heavy rain... damnit, should have taken the car!), more rain, a visit to a mall, and then to an alligator park. That was fun.

And then we came home. All in all, a thoroughly enjoyable time.

So... why "The Promised Land"? Well, that stems from a discovery that I made while we were waiting in the airport in Charlotte - the US haven't joined in with this made crusade against sugar in all their soft drinks, which meant that Sprite doesn't use artificial sweeteners (technically, they use high fructose corn syrup instead of actual sugar, so it's not the same as it was over here... but still). It was a massive pleasure actually having a choice of things I could drink. And, incidentally, it really puts the lie to the notion that you can't tell the difference between the drinks.

#28: "Norse Mythology", by Neil Gaiman (sadly, not his best book...)

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Funsize Goes Intercontinental

LC and I recently spent a week in the US attending a family wedding. Naturally, Funsize came with us. (Long-time readers may choose to point out my hypocrisy at this point. Guilty as charged.)

We had a total of six flights, three each for the outbound and return journeys. Fortunately, FS came through all of these with a minimum of fuss. Indeed, she travelled rather better than many of the adults in our party - she slept through most of the journeys, and when she was awake she was mostly happy throughout. Certainly, there were no screaming fits on the plane, though there was one wobble when we were waiting in Charlotte on the way out.

That said, our journey was not entirely stress-free.

We had booked our tickets about six months ago, prior to FS arriving on the scene (but after we knew she was coming). At that time, the airlines had said they couldn't book her in without a name, but that we should get in touch after she arrived to update the records, which we duly did. We then paid for an infant ticket, which included a full luggage allowance - one checked bag, one piece of hand luggage, and the ability to check a stroller at the gate for each flight. This may become important later...

So, we arrived at Edinburgh airport at a ridiculously early time in the morning, having not been able to check in online because we were travelling with a small child. We waited in a painfully slow queue before finally getting some of our boarding cards - some others we would need to get printed in Heathrow because of... reasons. Oh well, at least we got our bags checked...

Security in Edinburgh was fine, although my bag was pulled for a double-check due to the bagpipes raising some eyebrows. That's an occupational hazard when taking pipes abroad, and something I had expected. It was easily resolved.

We got to Heathrow, and made for our transfer to Terminal 3 for the next flight. And here we ran into our next difficulty, because only half of our party had the required boarding cards - the rest we'd been told we needed to get printed. Eventually, after a fun venture into "computer says no", we managed to transfer from one Terminal to another. (Annoyingly, all this took place outside the secure areas.) Anyway, we got to Terminal 3 and went to security, and got to enjoy the next bureaucratic failure.

We went to the ticket desk and explained that only half of our party had been issued with the boarding cards for the next step in our journey, so could they print out the remainder please? This, naturally, was met with incredulity - how was it even possible that some of the cards hadn't been printed? And wasn't it utterly amazing that a small child would be travelling with her mother? Apparently, such a thing could scarcely be imagined.

Well... eventually, after having been shuttled from the person at the desk to her supervisor (who, as far as I could tell, was actually the same person standing at a different desk), we were given a boarding card for FS for the flight to Charlotte. Those of the rest of our party who didn't have them received two boarding cards, one each for the next two flights. (Apparently, FS didn't need one for the final flight as she wasn't using a seat. Bet you can't guess where that's going, can you?)

Meanwhile, another member of our party was randomly selected for enhanced screening, which meant there was a need to unpack his hand luggage for checking. But that's fine, I guess. And so Flight Two was done.

We had a few hours to kill in Charlotte, which was fine. I may mention more about that in a later post. At length, though, we were getting closer to our final flight. At this point, LC said I should go and check at the gate that FS really didn't need a Boarding Card.

So, I asked, and sure enough that was the case - LC's own Boarding Card should indicate that she was travelling with an infant...

Which it didn't. Yes, there was another cock-up in the system, such that FS actually didn't appear on the booking at all - she wasn't associated with LC's ticket (as at Heathrow), she wasn't associated with the lead passenger's ticket (as at Edinburgh). "Computer says no", again.

Well, we got that sorted out - they basically re-issued LC's boarding card to note that there was an infant with her, and that was the job done. Phew!

(I'll also note that at Charlotte I was told that I had to check in my bagpipe case. This was intensely annoying, given that the case was specifically designed to be the right size for hand luggage, and given that they don't do well with the change in pressure that being checked in implies. So I had to take them out of the nice, sturdy case and instead carry them in a fairly flimsy backpack that I then had to carry carefully for the last flight. I wasn't best pleased by that, especially after everything else.)

Anyway, that was the journey out. It was okay, I guess.

For the journey back, we of course knew that we'd face all the same problems...

At the first airport, we went to check in only to find that FS, once again, seemed to be missing from the booking. Only this time it wasn't just as simple as adding her to LC's boarding card - she had a full set of luggage with her, and with no clear record of a ticket we would need to pay to check in that additional case - an extra $80 charge (that we'd already paid for, of course). So there then began our next journey through "computer says no"... only to finally discover that FS did indeed have a ticket. It wasn't (as you would expect) associated with LC's ticket, nor was it associated with the lead passenger's. Instead, she had her own, entirely separate record in the system. Apparently, she's very independent-minded.

There then followed an inquest - did this record entitle her to a checked bag, or should we be paying $80 for that privilege? This time, the computer said yes, but of course you can never trust computers...

Anyway, that was that, and then we were off to security. Again, my bag got stopped, but was checked and found to be bagpipes, and we were able to proceed. And so we got to Philadelphia. So far, so good.

And, miraculously, the only issue in Philadelphia was that our tickets had us scattered about the plane, so we had to arrange a switch - LC and I ended up sitting together, with everyone else scattered.

In Heathrow, we found ourselves waiting about an age for the stroller to re-appear, only to discover that it had been delivered slightly closer to the plane than where we were waiting. Oh well.

We then found ourselves with a dilemma - do we go right to "Transfers" or straight on to "Baggage Reclaim", given that half of our party had already gone ahead, and given also that at our first airport we'd been told both that our bags were checked to our final destination and that we'd have to pick them up in Heathrow. Because of course we had.

Anyway, we went to Baggage Reclaim, and sure enough that was the wrong choice - we'd get our bags back in Edinburgh. Still, that was fine, we just needed to use the shuttle to Terminal 5 rather than walking. But given that the other route apparently had much longer queues, we probably got the better end of the deal there.

In Terminal 5 we then needed to get boarding cards for about half of our party printed. Once again, FS was recorded somewhere different - this time she was associated with the lead passenger, rather than with LC. Sigh. Anyway, we got the cards, and off we went to security.

On presenting my Boarding Card, the assistant took one look at it and declared that it wasn't the right thing. Which left me at a bit of a loss - that was the card I was given back at our first airport, it had the words "Boarding Card" printed on it, so, um... Fortunately, she was persuaded to at least try it in the scanner, and the computer said Yes! Amazingly, the Boarding Card I had been given, with the words "Boarding Card" printed on it, was indeed a Boarding Card.

I was truly stunned.

After all that, and having been awake for 24 hours, we finally got the final plane, got back to Edinburgh, and everything was fine.

Ha ha. No.

On the night before we travelled, there had been a crash between a bus and a tram at Edinburgh, and when we arrived back they were busy clearing the vehicles away. This meant massive delays in the traffic in and around the airport - it took us 90 minutes to get from our space to the car park exit, and that was a relatively short delay. There was then another 40 minutes or so, and we were finally home.

Huzzah!

(In case you're wondering - I will post about the rest of the trip at some later point. But the journey was enough of an ordeal that I thought I'd best post about it separately. In case it wasn't clear: I really wasn't impressed.)

Time Please!

Well, that's it - as of last weekend I have now replaced the last of my Region One DVDs. I still have those last few films to watch, just to verify that the new disks work correctly, but otherwise that task is now done.

I am left with a handful of disks, as discussed previously, but I have decided to hang onto these - they're not readily available in Region Two (in some cases they were never released, in some others they are long out-of-print). I purchased an external DVD drive for my PC which I've set to Region One in case I ever want to revisit these.

The next step is to remove the multi-region DVD player from the cabinet entirely. This isn't strictly necessary, but it is my intention in the very near future to replace our surround sound Receiver with a new unit, and the newer units tend not to support very old connection methods (read: SCART). Plus, I'm quite keen to reduce the number of devices in general - having three devices set up mostly for disk playback seems excessive, by about two.

#25: "Pathfinder: The Twilight Child", by Ron Lundeen
#26: "The Algebraist", by Iain M. Banks (the last of his sci-fi novels I hadn't read)
#27: "Rhyming Rings", by David Gemmell (the new candidate for Book of the Year)