Why the Return of Optimus Prime is a Bad Thing

This blog is never one to shy away from controversial topics, nor from addressing the burning issues of the day, and so we come to a blog post that may surprise some.

A few weeks ago, as part of my project to retire my Region One DVDs, I purchased a set of the Transformers DVDs for series 2-4. I'm now nearly at the end of my watch-though, with only two episodes in series 3 (plus the 3 episodes of series 4) to watch. Those last two episodes are the long-awaited "Return of Optimus Prime", where the producers responded to the massive backlash from the film by bringing back the most beloved of all Saturday morning heroes. (Indeed, so massive was the controversy that when the film was released in the UK they felt the need to add an epilogue in which that very return was promised! And they call this the Snowflake generation!)

But there's a big problem with the return of Optimus Prime - it's a really bad thing.

"Transformers: the Movie" is little more than yet another retelling of the Hero's Journey - Hot Rod starts as the brash young hope, gradually learns maturity and leadership, and eventually fulfils his destiny to release the power of the Matrix. (Incidentally, it's also something of a retelling of the end of the Exodus - Optimus Prime is Moses, the leader who is allowed to see, but not to enter, the Promised Land, Ultra Magnus is Joshua the warrior, and Hot Rod is David the promised king. Oh, and Unicron is Goliath. But I digress.) And the Hero's Journey is essentially the story of the transition to adulthood - the boy becomes the man.

One of the big themes of the third series of Transformers is Rodimus Prime's (Hot Rod's) struggle to live up to the legacy of Optimus Prime. He's constantly doubting himself, and needs reassured that he's doing a good job. Indeed, in two episodes ("Dark Awakening" and "The Burden Hardest to Bear") gives up leadership for one reason or another. But in both cases he eventually learns his lesson, resumes the mantle, and grows as a result.

Now, Rodimus Prime frankly isn't a patch on Optimus, partly because nobody could be, and partly because the character is really quite lame - right from the name ('Rodimus' comes from mashing up 'Hot Rod' and 'Optimus'); the fact that the toy is less good than Optimus, Ultra Magnus, or even Hot Rod; and that self-doubt makes for difficult storytelling. And yet, that character arc is actually one of the strongest parts of the otherwise very poor series 3 - having to overcome doubt and learn that you don't have to live up to an illustrious predecessor is a surprisingly mature theme for a children's TV show.

The problem with the return of Optimus Prime is that it necessarily reverses all that, and negates everything that has gone before. Rodimus is forces to give up the Matrix, and leadership. He reverts to the brash young hope that is Hot Rod. He ceases to be the adult he has become, and instead returns to being a child. Which, as life lessons go, just sucks.

The death of Optimus Prime is one of those things that I'm sure the makers of the series really wish they hadn't done, but it's also one of the biggest strengths of the movie, and one of the reasons that it still holds up where so much else from that time just falls by the wayside. And replacing Optimus with Rodimus was always going to be a really hard sell. But, from a storytelling perspective, it is really better to live with it and move on, rather than just negate the whole thing and pretend it never happened.

None of the Above

In light of the recent events in Catalonia, and especially the EU's silence on the matter (especially of elected politicians being jailed pre-trial by the Spanish authorities), I find I can no longer support the EU or our continued membership in it.

Unfortunately, I'm also in a position where I can't support the decision to leave, won as it was through outright lies (see: the bus), and fuelled by a mix of nostalgia for a golden age that never was (and an Empire that the world is better off without) and an unpleasant amount of xenophobia. (I should note: voting Leave doesn't make a person a racist, but unfortunately it does put you on the same side.)

Which means I now find myself in a position where, given a binary choice, my answer is "none of the above".

(Realistically, I would still vote to Remain, but it is despite the EU rather than because of it. Having seen the damage that leaving has caused already, and knowing that what's coming is going to be much worse, it's a no-brainer. But it's not a matter of self-interest, rather than of principle. Which is a lousy position to be in.)

Fake News

The BBC Scotland website currently has an article, "Irn Bru sales go up after new recipe introduced", indicating that Barrs have just had their best-ever year of sales.

Specifically, the sales numbers referred to are those up to the 27th of January this year (see the twelfth paragraph). The problem with that being that the recipe change occurred in late January of this year - indeed, I purchased at least some original Irn Bru even in February of this year.

So, in fact, this is a story about Irn Bru sales going up before the new recipe was introduced.

Ultimately, this is a story that doesn't really matter - Barrs will no doubt be looking at the up-to-date sales figures and will make a decision based on the reality and not the friendly spin the media has chosen to give them.

But it raises (again) a question: if they're willing to lie to you about this, what else are they willing to lie to you about? (Well... I suppose it's possible that this is just gross incompetence on the person who wrote the headline. I'm not sure that's really any better.)

Another Cause for Celebration

Today I received confirmation that I'm getting a promotion at work. Which is good - it's something that has been on the cards for quite some time, and that I've been working very hard to secure.

Later, there may be cake. Or ice cream. Or both.

A Poor Substitute

It looks like my plan to switch from Irn Bru to Coke (or Pepsi) is a non-starter. Over the past several weeks we've been drinking fairly copious amounts of the stuff, largely because we've needed the sugar hit to counteract the extreme lack of sleep.

Unfortunately, the main effect of this has been to leave me twitchy and strung out, with a side order of not being able to sleep at night (though, of course, I could readily sleep during the day, when I ideally want to be awake...).

(I should also note: at one point, my go-to replacement would have been 7-up, that being another of the four drinks that didn't use artificial sweeteners. Alas, during the Christmas break I noticed that it, too, had changed over. Disturbingly, that change was made without any notice, which is rather concerning when you consider that a small number of people react to these things much more strongly than I do. Anyway, the net effect is that my choices are now Coke, Pepsi, or nothing.)

So it's no good. Once my stockpile of Irn Bru runs out, and unless Barrs come to their senses and bring back the original formula (which I'm losing hope of), I guess I really will have to just learn to go completely without.

(And, worryingly, I notice that some diluting juices (Ribena) are now also making use of artificial sweeteners. At this rate, I'll be down to water and nothing else.)

Two Thoughts About Russia

When considering the situation with Russia, I'm struck by two thoughts that I just can't get past:

Firstly, the case against Russia seems to be almost exactly as strong as the case against Saddam Hussein was prior to the Iraq War in 2003. Unfortunately, I'm also well aware of how that turned out.

Secondly, I find myself trying to think of anything our current government has done well and in the interest of the people of the UK. And I'm coming up with nothing - this is the most shockingly incompetent government in my lifetime, up against some very stiff competition. And, in particular, their handling of foreign affairs has oscillated between tragedy and farce.

Given those two, I can't help but be extremely worried by our current course of action. While I agree that Russia is the most likely culprit for recent events, and while I agree that if this is proven we'll need to take action, I'm deeply concerned that we seem to be rushing to judgement in order to appear strong. I very much hope we're not rapidly heading for another tragedy.

Back To Work

I've now finished up my Paternity Leave (and vacation) and so returned to work this morning. It's been pretty heard going so far! The morning was more or less okay, since I'm traditionally a morning person but, as anticipated, once we got into the afternoon I started the flag. And it didn't help that the various catch-up jobs I had to do, which were time-consuming but low-thought, have now almost run out. At some point, I'm going to have to actually think, which isn't so good...

Sleepy...

Pink

Funsize and I had a fairly important discussion the other night. Well, mostly I talked, and she rolled her eyes. Anyway, the reason for our conversation was that I was busy changing her into a bright pink sleep-suit, and it concerned the colour pink.

Ever since FS arrives and proved to be a girl, we have been given huge numbers of clothes for her to wear, for which we are very grateful. And I've been fairly stunned - I hadn't realised there was so much pink stuff in all the world - sleepsuits, dresses, tights, leggings, socks... This has caused some slight unease for me, and perhaps rather greater unease for LC - we're conscious of the dangers of pigeon-holing FS as a girly-girl, as "Daddy's Little Princess", or whatever else. On the other hand, we've received so many clothes that there's basically no need to buy FS anything else for some months, and it would of course be churlish and rude simply to dismiss those gifts.

And so, the need for the conversation. During which I pointed out to FS firstly that pink is a perfectly acceptable colour, and should not be considered in any way inferior. Equally, however, I pointed out that FS would be entirely free to determine her path - if she wants to play with dinosaurs and monsters, and pirates and robots then that's fine... as indeed if she wishes to play with princesses and dolls. And if she chooses to mix-and-match, then that will be just fine too. Really, it's up to her.

And as for her clothes... I expect there will be plenty of pink in her future. Hopefully, there will also be a whole rainbow of other colours as well.

#11: "Pathfinder: Beyond the Veiled Past", by Thurston Hillman
#12: "Ready Player One", by Ernest Cline
#13: "The Black Elfstone", by Terry Brooks

Life Lessons for my Daughter

One of the great joys of parenthood (rather more pleasant than changing all those nappies - about a million so far), is the opportunity to pass on all of my great wisdom. Or, failing that, some stuff that sounds good that I've probably nicked from a book somewhere.

Funsize is now ten days old, and in that time we have passed on three great nuggets of wisdom...

1. If you're frustrated, you won't get it. This one was from LC, and was in response to a feeding mishap - FS was struggling to find food and was getting annoyed and thrashing about. This, of course, was counter-productive, hence the life lesson.
2. You've got to plan ahead. This one came this morning. I was in the shower and FS woke up demanding to be changed right now. That was fine, since LC was on hand to do the necessary. However, FS then decided it would be highly amusing to poo everywhere - her sleep suit, the changing mat, the carpet, LC... everywhere. Anyway, this was all fine, except that LC then proceeded to take her own shower immediately thereafter in order to clean the mess, leaving me with FS. And then FS realised that she was also hungry, with no choice but to wait. If, instead, she had planned ahead, she could have waited for me to get out the shower, and then I could have been the recipient of the amusing poo, leaving LC free to feed her. A classic blunder.
3. Never start a land war in Asia. This is a bit of a niche lesson, but important to learn - it's the most famous of the classic blunders, after all.

As you can see, it has been an education, for both of us. (We've also been educating FS in all the cultural cornerstones - thus far being "The Hobbit" and "Transformers"...)

#10: "Only Dead on the Inside", by James Breakwell (an early candidate for book of the year)

A Little Blog House-keeping

I've decided that the time has come to retire the old "happy?" tag for blog posts, and have instead replaced it with the more definitive "happy" tag.

That is all.

Snow Day! Oh... wait...

As a consequence of the bad weather, my work closed the office yesterday afternoon and sent everyone home. Which is as it should be: nothing that we do is truly essential, so far better to get everyone to safety and take pressure off the roads and other support services. (And while we're encouraged to take work home with us as possible, if circumstances don't allow for it then so be it.)

Of course, this all falls into the period while I'm on paternity leave anyway, so it makes little difference to me. Though I did have to walk two miles to Asda today to avert a toilet paper shortage. Which wasn't too bad, but considerably more tiring than that would normally be.

#9: "Feersum Endjinn", by Iain M. Banks