Rangers this year have done much like Jeremy Corbyn did in the 2017 election - they've done much better than should probably have been expected, but they've come second in a winner-takes-all competition, and they weren't ever really close to winning. I think they'll come second (just), but it's largely irrelevant - if Celtic win the Scottish Cup, as they probably will, then the teams that come second, third, and fourth in the league will all qualify for the Europa League.
Meanwhile, Rangers are an utter mess on and off the pitch, and are once again in the market for a new manager.
At which point I have to say: I am simply stunned that there is serious discussion about the possibility of Steven Gerrard as the next Rangers manager.
Just over a year ago, I wrote about the then-chaos after Mark Warburton left, at which point I said Rangers had two ways forward: if they had significant new investment lined up then they should get a top-quality manager and back him with significant funds to rebuild the team; if they didn't have such funds available then they should look for a cheap(ish) option to serve as a safe pair of hands.
Instead, the board took a massive risk on a largely unknown manager, Pedro Caixinha, and backed him with, frankly, more funding than the club could really afford. They didn't have the significant new investment that they needed, but they brought in many new players nonetheless...
And the result was disaster - Caixinha lasted less than a year, and left Rangers with a yet-more-bloated playing staff, a crippling wage bill, and almost no progress. For the second time, Murty was put in interim charge of the team, and then given the post until the end of the season. I think the board hoped he would be a revelation and they could appoint him long-term, but it was not to be.
Now, here's the thing: Steven Gerrard is not unknown, but he is known as a player, not as a manager. In management terms, he's even less well known than Caixinha was, and indeed has exactly as much experience in management as Murty - he's currently a youth coach looking for his first 'real' management position.
So Gerrard would represent a big risk at a time when Rangers can ill afford one. He also won't be a cheap option - given that he would also be taking a risk taking on Rangers as his first management job, he will demand significant investment in the team (as he should - it needs it), and given the significance of his name he'll also demand significant personal renumeration.
Now, it's worth noting that an inexperienced manager can work out - Souness did it, and Neil Lennon over at Celtic (and now Hibs) has done extremely well. But that's very much the exception, not the rule. And, frankly, neither Souness nor Lennon had a manager of the calibre of Brendan Rodgers to deal with. (That's assuming Rodgers doesn't leave for the Arsenal job, of course... but even if he does, Celtic may well replace him with another big name in a bid to do better in Europe.)
And after a sequence of risky appointments, going back to McCoist, and given their current state, the Rangers board really should know better.
Which brings me back to the same conclusion I reached a year ago. The Rangers board should take one of two courses, entirely dependent on whether they have significant new investment available.
If they do indeed have such investment available, they should look to recruit a big name manager (of at least the same calibre as Rodgers), and back him with something in the order of 20 million pounds for new players. In which case Gerrard just doesn't fit - he doesn't have the experience. (Of course, there is the possibility that the new investors want to pick their manager, and choose him. That's about the only scenario I can see where this appointment makes sense.)
If Rangers does not have significant investment available, they should probably keep Murty in the role - he has the same experience as Gerrard (or slightly more), he knows the club, and he's a cheaper option. They should restrict their recruitment to free transfers and loan players, and continue to do just enough to qualify for the Europa League, and run down the clock on the existing contracts until they can clear the wage bill. And then they can look to advance. (Or, if they're determined to replace the manager, look for someone who has a proven track record of getting the best out of an existing group of players, without worrying about the big name.)
I really can't see a scenario where appointing Gerrard makes sense without the major new investment - he'll need to bring in a lot of new players, who probably won't be good enough (since they'll be recruited without the money needed to do the job), they'll demand good money and secure terms of employment, and the likely result therefore is that this time next year Rangers will be looking for another new manager, with an even bigger playing staff packed with not-good-enough talent, an even more crippling wage bill... and one less year in which to stop ten-in-a-row.
On the other hand... maybe this is all about selling season tickets right now in order to keep the lights on for a few more months. So they need a manager with a big name, but are desperately pushing the consequences into the future because the crisis has become existential...
Friday, April 27, 2018
My Favourite Time of Year
On reflection, I think the six weeks in the latter part of April and early part of May are probably my favourite time of year, closely followed by the equivalent weeks as we go into early Autumn.
The reason for this is simple enough: we often get a spell of pretty decent weather, sunny but not overly hot, with all the bright colours of the change of season.
This contrasts with the supposed Summer, which all too often is disappointing (and where it is not, the alternative can be that it is then far too hot - especially onerous when stuck in an office all day). And Winter these days seems to amount to six months of wind, rain, cold, and general misery (occasionally broken up with just the wrong amount of snow).
So, yeah, I think this week has been just about as good as it gets.
The reason for this is simple enough: we often get a spell of pretty decent weather, sunny but not overly hot, with all the bright colours of the change of season.
This contrasts with the supposed Summer, which all too often is disappointing (and where it is not, the alternative can be that it is then far too hot - especially onerous when stuck in an office all day). And Winter these days seems to amount to six months of wind, rain, cold, and general misery (occasionally broken up with just the wrong amount of snow).
So, yeah, I think this week has been just about as good as it gets.
Thursday, April 19, 2018
Hey Samsung...
Next time you update your phone software, how about adding a button that allows you to not only hang up a call but instantly add the caller to your block list? As it is, my daily annoyance with the "have you had an accident" calls (or sometimes the "have you checked your PPI?" calls) is then compounded by needing to go through a six-tap process to block the number (not counting unlocking my phone) - getting that down to just one would be a very satisfying addition.
Also: isn't it amazing how when technology improves to make everything hugely and immediately better (such as upgrading to a smart-phone), the level of perceived annoyance experienced as a result of the remaining irritations jumps as a consequence?
Also: isn't it amazing how when technology improves to make everything hugely and immediately better (such as upgrading to a smart-phone), the level of perceived annoyance experienced as a result of the remaining irritations jumps as a consequence?
So What Am I Supposed to Drink?
To my horror, I discovered about a week ago that Robinson's "Fruit and Barley" has now reformulated to remove the added sugar and replace it with artificial sweeteners. With the net effect that that's another thing I now can't drink. (Rather naively, I had assumed that diluting fruit juices were sweetened with, you know, fruit, and so wouldn't include masses of additional sugar. I guess not.)
Anyway, this caused me to go have a look at the various brands that are available... and the results are not good. Pretty much all of the big brands and all of the 'own' brands loudly trumpet that they have "no added sugar", which translates as "added sweeteners", which translates as "you can't drink this". There are a very few more obscure brands, mostly the very expensive niche brands, that are still not using sweeteners but there's no indication as to how long this will last.
I also learned yesterday that San Pellegrino had also reformulated to reduce sugar and added artificial sweeteners. So that's another thing I can't drink.
I'm rapidly coming to a point where there is very little I actually can drink, and those options are significantly flawed: either they include huge amounts of caffeine (Coke and Pepsi), or they're hugely expensive (Fentimans), or they're very much niche products and so not widely available. Or, of course, there are alcoholic drinks, but they don't work when I often have to drive.
So I'm left with a question: just what am I supposed to drink? Is the answer seriously going to be water and nothing else?
Anyway, this caused me to go have a look at the various brands that are available... and the results are not good. Pretty much all of the big brands and all of the 'own' brands loudly trumpet that they have "no added sugar", which translates as "added sweeteners", which translates as "you can't drink this". There are a very few more obscure brands, mostly the very expensive niche brands, that are still not using sweeteners but there's no indication as to how long this will last.
I also learned yesterday that San Pellegrino had also reformulated to reduce sugar and added artificial sweeteners. So that's another thing I can't drink.
I'm rapidly coming to a point where there is very little I actually can drink, and those options are significantly flawed: either they include huge amounts of caffeine (Coke and Pepsi), or they're hugely expensive (Fentimans), or they're very much niche products and so not widely available. Or, of course, there are alcoholic drinks, but they don't work when I often have to drive.
So I'm left with a question: just what am I supposed to drink? Is the answer seriously going to be water and nothing else?
Monday, April 16, 2018
Days Like These Are Far Too Rare
Yesterday was the baptism of Funsize, which took place at our new church in Livingston. This is another of our Great Days, joining the Wedding of Kilt/Man and Lady Chocolat and the Epic of the Cakes.
We had been planning the baptism for some time, indeed pretty much since Funsize was born. This shouldn't come as a shock, since our faith is rather important to us, and baptism is one of the key sacraments through which that faith is marked. So we spoke to the minister, and made it so.
It was a gloriously sunny day, at least for the morning and early afternoon. This paired well with the baptismal gown that FS was given to wear - the same gown that LC wore back when it was her turn. The gown was gleaming white, and in the sunlight it was radiant.
The church service itself was a fairly simple affair, as is appropriate to the occasion. We had selected the first two hymns, before and after the event - "Great is Thy Faithfulness", which featured at our wedding, and "Shine Jesus Shine", which ties into the name. (We were also lucky enough that the reading, which we did not select, fit neatly into the same theme. And the cake likewise bore an appopriate inscription.)
For the baptism itself, LC and I stood at the front together with FS's god-fathers, who are two of her uncles (my brother G and LC's brother A). One other nice touch was that the minister had invited the children forward for the all-age talk (as they had been displaced from their normal scenes), and he had them stay at the front so they could easily see. All in all, it was a really lovely occasion.
Afterwards, there was a buffet lunch and the aforementioned cake. This was really another highlight of the day, as it was a great opportunity for our families to mingle, for the many nephews and nieces to play together, and to catch up with friends - including some we hadn't seen since FS arrived, and some I hadn't seen since my 40th birthday. It was all a really positive event, with good feeling all around.
There are many thanks that should be given: to the church for allowing us the use of their hall after the service, to the caterers and the cake-maker for providing the food, and most of all to LC for arranging both. And to so many friends and family for their well-wishes and for the pleasure of their company.
Hopes For Our Daughter
One of the things we were given by the church was a storybook Bible, and for this we were asked to contribute some words of hopes for our daughter. I had somewhat expected these to be read out as part of the service (or, indeed, to be asked to read them out myself), but it was not to be. That being the case, and since we gave quite some thought to them, I thought I'd add them here:
First and foremost, may you always know that you are loved and that you are treasured.
As you go through life, may you make friends easily. May you know that words may be a balm and also a weapon, and therefore may you have the wisdom always to know the right words to use. May you always have the courage to be whoever it is that you decide to become.
May you be a light for others, even when all other lights go out. And may God go between you and harm, in all of the dark places where you must walk.
#16: "Coruscant and the Core Worlds", by Craig R. Carey, Chris Doyle, Jason Fry, Paul Sudlow, John Terra, and Daniel Wallace
#17: "Espedair Street", by Iain Banks
We had been planning the baptism for some time, indeed pretty much since Funsize was born. This shouldn't come as a shock, since our faith is rather important to us, and baptism is one of the key sacraments through which that faith is marked. So we spoke to the minister, and made it so.
It was a gloriously sunny day, at least for the morning and early afternoon. This paired well with the baptismal gown that FS was given to wear - the same gown that LC wore back when it was her turn. The gown was gleaming white, and in the sunlight it was radiant.
The church service itself was a fairly simple affair, as is appropriate to the occasion. We had selected the first two hymns, before and after the event - "Great is Thy Faithfulness", which featured at our wedding, and "Shine Jesus Shine", which ties into the name. (We were also lucky enough that the reading, which we did not select, fit neatly into the same theme. And the cake likewise bore an appopriate inscription.)
For the baptism itself, LC and I stood at the front together with FS's god-fathers, who are two of her uncles (my brother G and LC's brother A). One other nice touch was that the minister had invited the children forward for the all-age talk (as they had been displaced from their normal scenes), and he had them stay at the front so they could easily see. All in all, it was a really lovely occasion.
Afterwards, there was a buffet lunch and the aforementioned cake. This was really another highlight of the day, as it was a great opportunity for our families to mingle, for the many nephews and nieces to play together, and to catch up with friends - including some we hadn't seen since FS arrived, and some I hadn't seen since my 40th birthday. It was all a really positive event, with good feeling all around.
There are many thanks that should be given: to the church for allowing us the use of their hall after the service, to the caterers and the cake-maker for providing the food, and most of all to LC for arranging both. And to so many friends and family for their well-wishes and for the pleasure of their company.
Hopes For Our Daughter
One of the things we were given by the church was a storybook Bible, and for this we were asked to contribute some words of hopes for our daughter. I had somewhat expected these to be read out as part of the service (or, indeed, to be asked to read them out myself), but it was not to be. That being the case, and since we gave quite some thought to them, I thought I'd add them here:
First and foremost, may you always know that you are loved and that you are treasured.
As you go through life, may you make friends easily. May you know that words may be a balm and also a weapon, and therefore may you have the wisdom always to know the right words to use. May you always have the courage to be whoever it is that you decide to become.
May you be a light for others, even when all other lights go out. And may God go between you and harm, in all of the dark places where you must walk.
#16: "Coruscant and the Core Worlds", by Craig R. Carey, Chris Doyle, Jason Fry, Paul Sudlow, John Terra, and Daniel Wallace
#17: "Espedair Street", by Iain Banks
Friday, April 13, 2018
Ready Player One
G and I went to see the film of "Ready Player One" on Monday - LC and I had hoped to go together, but the timing with Funsize didn't really work out. As I mentioned on the blog, I had read the book last month, so I was curious to see how they'd translated it to film. I was also somewhat doubtful - with the book fresh in my mind, and given that the book is always * better, how would the film stack up?
* Not always - the actual rule is that the first version is always better. But since, these days, I'm much more likely to see a film that has been adapted from a book, rather than reading the book of the film, that effectively means the book is better. Anyway...
I didn't like RP1.
From here on out there are major spoilers for both the book and the film. So, if you want to avoid them, skip the rest of this post - there's nothing at the end to come back to!
The truth is that the book of RP1 is basically a piece of lightweight fluff, with an extremely basic plot. The only real reason it is so well regarded is that 80's nostalgia is big right now, and the book wallows unashamedly in it. And that's fair enough - there's a place for lightweight fluff, and there's a good reason that particular plot is retold again and again. And there were a couple of really quite clever moments... in addition to some quite lame ones.
In theory, the film version should be much the same. Indeed, they took the wise step of replacing most of the geek references from the book with other geek references in the film. Which means that it's fundamentally the same, but should also be different enough to stand on its own.
Unfortunately, it really felt to me like all the things they'd changed were for the worse, and all the things they kept were weaknesses in the book. Mostly, then, it made me nostalgic for other, better films - and knowing that I have many of those films on DVD, and many of the others are shown fairly regularly on TV, I'm left wondering why bother with RP1 - just watch those other films instead!
The problems start pretty much right away. One of the big changes between the book and the film, at least in gamer circles, was the replacement of the "Tomb of Horrors" with an unwinnable race. On the face of it, that's wise, since the book both gets the Tomb wrong and then has the protagonist play against Acererack at "Joust" which is, frankly, lame. So switching to something more cinematic and being able to introduce all the characters very quickly should be a good thing.
Except...
One of the few genuinely clever parts of the book is the placement of the Tomb on the school-planet of Ludus. Which is a Latin pun, but also shows one of Halliday's key values - you don't need money to win at his quest.
Switching to the unwinnable race removes that. Suddenly, you do need money, for vehicles, fuel, etc, in order to meaningfully compete.
Unfortunately, it also makes everyone in the setting an idiot. The notion, in the book, that nobody found the Tomb in five years of searching is a stretch, but it's just about feasible - it's hidden in plain sight, but somewhere nobody would really think to look.
But faced with an unwinnable race, coded by someone who is known to have a great delight in Easter Eggs, and in five whole years of searching, we're expected to believe that nobody thought to look for secret doors?
Hell, there's a real good chance that somebody's grandma would find that one entirely by accident!
But, okay, I guess.
Then we come to the next problems in the film: the supporting cast. Specifically, Art3mis and Aech. In the book, these are very much peers of our hero. Indeed, both are actually much more established Gunters than Parzival - if anything, Aech is the mentor figure, while Art3mis is actually better at it all than Parzival, but has missed one lucky guess.
In the film, Art3mis is introduced almost immediately as needing Parzival to rescue her. Then, when they decamp to Aech's workshop, he proceeds to inflict on her a test for "fake geek girls" (where the supposed geek girl must prove her credentials by recognising each and every reference the gatekeeper can muster - and yes, it's exactly as offensive as that sounds). Why they thought that was a good idea to include, I'm not sure.
Aech, meanwhile, is recast mostly as comic relief, and notably in the middle section of the film. On the face of it, this section is really good, transporting the characters into "The Shining". It's really well done, except for one thing - we're supposed to accept that Aech has never seen the film (because he "doesn't like scary movies"). When pretty much the sole qualification to be a Gunter is to immerse yourself in the culture loved by Halliday, and when that's one of his top films, that rather negates Aech's claim to competence.
Most of the rest of that middle section is absolutely fine - sure, they bring together the "High Five" in the real world rather more quickly than in the book, but that's fairly harmless. And, frankly, they should have killed off Daito (as in the book), as again that was one of the few things that gave it any weight. Oh well.
One other big change to the film is the means by which Parzival comes by his Extra Life. In the book, he stumbles on another Easter Egg, 'wastes' quite a lot of time on what seems a red herring, and so comes by a priceless artifact. In the film, he is basically given the Extra Life on a whim by another character... just because. But, I guess, in a 2 hour 20 minute film they can't include everything.
But then we come to the end, where it all proceeds to fall apart.
In another change from the book, Art3mis is captured by the enemy and sent to one of their "Loyaly Centres" (because, of course, the female character is the one who should be captured and need a rescue). The bad guys then proceed to show their massive incompetence - they put her to work inside the impregnable shield. For the main reason that if they didn't, the plot would come to a screaming halt.
So, of course, the heroes get Art3mis out of her prison, but she stays within the Matrix in order to bring down the shield. The bad guys, realising that she must still be inside, proceed to run around desperately trying to locate her. You'd think they'd have mechanisms to determine which of their rigs is currently using her unique login ID, or at the very least a mechanism to lock her out of the system, or something. (Also, see below...)
While Art3mis is busy bringing down the shield, Parzival and the others whistle up an army. In the book, this takes some time - they make the announcement, set a date, and wait to see who shows up. In the film, Parzival makes his speech and the army shows up seconds later. This highlights something really quite important - it takes very little time to get around in that setting.
So, they have the big fight. It's standard stuff these days - a mess of CGI fighting it out, with very little ability to actually see what's going on. It's all very pretty, but mostly just a waste of time. Especially since we've seen it all before.
Anyway, the good guys win, leading to the bad guys using their Ultimate Weapon - a bomb that kills all avatars in Sector 14. Except Parzival, of course, since he has the Extra Life. This therefore gives him a free run to the final challenge, and since he knows how to solve it, he can do so in a few minutes.
Except...
For those few minutes, he has to stand right there out in the open. And as we've just discussed, it takes little to no time to travel to his location. So it's a matter of a few seconds of one of the bad guys' reserve forces to go there and shoot his avatar dead. And the bad guys win.
(The book addresses this point - when you engage with the final challenge, you get shunted into a pocket dimension where you can't be interfered with. So Parzival gets a few minutes' head start, but can't be stopped by a simple bullet. The film omits this, to its cost.)
Anyway, our bad guys don't bother with any of that. Instead, they rush around in the real world trying to stop our heroes. Which is nicely cinematic but hugely inefficient. Especially as they've been shown to have drones that are quite capable of delivering an explosive package. So it would be nice and easy for them to find the van, drop off some explosives. And the bad guys win.
Anyway, they don't do that. Instead, they get themselves defeated, their agent gets himself arrested, and our heroes win the game. Yay!
Except, again...
When Art3mis was imprisoned in the "Loyalty Centre", she wasn't being detailed illegally. Instead, she had been assessed as owing the company some thousands of dollars that she needed to work off. And while working it off, she would be charged for any failure to do her job, any damage to company equipment, and pretty much anything else they felt like charging her for. And, indeed, they company had been shown to be utter bastards about that - indeed, that was exactly what they had done to her father.
Now, Art3mis wasn't an observer in the final battle; she was very much an active participant. And, indeed, she triggered the battle by disabling a priceless one-use artifact.
So, being utter bastards, and given that they had just lost the contest directly as a result of the actions of someone who (a) has just been given a fifth of the prize and (b) who represents significant leverage on the other four winners, the bad guys would surely not simply take that lying down. Sure, a couple of their agents had just been arrested, but corporations have rogue employees all the time, of course, so they can be easily disavowed.
Our bad guys, therefore, should just levy absurd charges to Art3mis' account, potentially charging her for everything that was lost in the final battle, including the priceless one-use artifact. At the very least, that gives them a 20% control in the system; most likely, it leads to the other winners buying her out. And the bad guys win.
The upshot of all this, I'm afraid, was that I was unimpressed.
Ultimately, the film is very pretty, but it's also pretty dull - a very basic plot, very thin characters, and a requirement that the bad guys make really bad mistakes at key times just left me cold. It reminded me too much of better films, and didn't have enough in itself for me to recommend it. Which is a shame, though maybe something I should have expected.
* Not always - the actual rule is that the first version is always better. But since, these days, I'm much more likely to see a film that has been adapted from a book, rather than reading the book of the film, that effectively means the book is better. Anyway...
I didn't like RP1.
From here on out there are major spoilers for both the book and the film. So, if you want to avoid them, skip the rest of this post - there's nothing at the end to come back to!
The truth is that the book of RP1 is basically a piece of lightweight fluff, with an extremely basic plot. The only real reason it is so well regarded is that 80's nostalgia is big right now, and the book wallows unashamedly in it. And that's fair enough - there's a place for lightweight fluff, and there's a good reason that particular plot is retold again and again. And there were a couple of really quite clever moments... in addition to some quite lame ones.
In theory, the film version should be much the same. Indeed, they took the wise step of replacing most of the geek references from the book with other geek references in the film. Which means that it's fundamentally the same, but should also be different enough to stand on its own.
Unfortunately, it really felt to me like all the things they'd changed were for the worse, and all the things they kept were weaknesses in the book. Mostly, then, it made me nostalgic for other, better films - and knowing that I have many of those films on DVD, and many of the others are shown fairly regularly on TV, I'm left wondering why bother with RP1 - just watch those other films instead!
The problems start pretty much right away. One of the big changes between the book and the film, at least in gamer circles, was the replacement of the "Tomb of Horrors" with an unwinnable race. On the face of it, that's wise, since the book both gets the Tomb wrong and then has the protagonist play against Acererack at "Joust" which is, frankly, lame. So switching to something more cinematic and being able to introduce all the characters very quickly should be a good thing.
Except...
One of the few genuinely clever parts of the book is the placement of the Tomb on the school-planet of Ludus. Which is a Latin pun, but also shows one of Halliday's key values - you don't need money to win at his quest.
Switching to the unwinnable race removes that. Suddenly, you do need money, for vehicles, fuel, etc, in order to meaningfully compete.
Unfortunately, it also makes everyone in the setting an idiot. The notion, in the book, that nobody found the Tomb in five years of searching is a stretch, but it's just about feasible - it's hidden in plain sight, but somewhere nobody would really think to look.
But faced with an unwinnable race, coded by someone who is known to have a great delight in Easter Eggs, and in five whole years of searching, we're expected to believe that nobody thought to look for secret doors?
Hell, there's a real good chance that somebody's grandma would find that one entirely by accident!
But, okay, I guess.
Then we come to the next problems in the film: the supporting cast. Specifically, Art3mis and Aech. In the book, these are very much peers of our hero. Indeed, both are actually much more established Gunters than Parzival - if anything, Aech is the mentor figure, while Art3mis is actually better at it all than Parzival, but has missed one lucky guess.
In the film, Art3mis is introduced almost immediately as needing Parzival to rescue her. Then, when they decamp to Aech's workshop, he proceeds to inflict on her a test for "fake geek girls" (where the supposed geek girl must prove her credentials by recognising each and every reference the gatekeeper can muster - and yes, it's exactly as offensive as that sounds). Why they thought that was a good idea to include, I'm not sure.
Aech, meanwhile, is recast mostly as comic relief, and notably in the middle section of the film. On the face of it, this section is really good, transporting the characters into "The Shining". It's really well done, except for one thing - we're supposed to accept that Aech has never seen the film (because he "doesn't like scary movies"). When pretty much the sole qualification to be a Gunter is to immerse yourself in the culture loved by Halliday, and when that's one of his top films, that rather negates Aech's claim to competence.
Most of the rest of that middle section is absolutely fine - sure, they bring together the "High Five" in the real world rather more quickly than in the book, but that's fairly harmless. And, frankly, they should have killed off Daito (as in the book), as again that was one of the few things that gave it any weight. Oh well.
One other big change to the film is the means by which Parzival comes by his Extra Life. In the book, he stumbles on another Easter Egg, 'wastes' quite a lot of time on what seems a red herring, and so comes by a priceless artifact. In the film, he is basically given the Extra Life on a whim by another character... just because. But, I guess, in a 2 hour 20 minute film they can't include everything.
But then we come to the end, where it all proceeds to fall apart.
In another change from the book, Art3mis is captured by the enemy and sent to one of their "Loyaly Centres" (because, of course, the female character is the one who should be captured and need a rescue). The bad guys then proceed to show their massive incompetence - they put her to work inside the impregnable shield. For the main reason that if they didn't, the plot would come to a screaming halt.
So, of course, the heroes get Art3mis out of her prison, but she stays within the Matrix in order to bring down the shield. The bad guys, realising that she must still be inside, proceed to run around desperately trying to locate her. You'd think they'd have mechanisms to determine which of their rigs is currently using her unique login ID, or at the very least a mechanism to lock her out of the system, or something. (Also, see below...)
While Art3mis is busy bringing down the shield, Parzival and the others whistle up an army. In the book, this takes some time - they make the announcement, set a date, and wait to see who shows up. In the film, Parzival makes his speech and the army shows up seconds later. This highlights something really quite important - it takes very little time to get around in that setting.
So, they have the big fight. It's standard stuff these days - a mess of CGI fighting it out, with very little ability to actually see what's going on. It's all very pretty, but mostly just a waste of time. Especially since we've seen it all before.
Anyway, the good guys win, leading to the bad guys using their Ultimate Weapon - a bomb that kills all avatars in Sector 14. Except Parzival, of course, since he has the Extra Life. This therefore gives him a free run to the final challenge, and since he knows how to solve it, he can do so in a few minutes.
Except...
For those few minutes, he has to stand right there out in the open. And as we've just discussed, it takes little to no time to travel to his location. So it's a matter of a few seconds of one of the bad guys' reserve forces to go there and shoot his avatar dead. And the bad guys win.
(The book addresses this point - when you engage with the final challenge, you get shunted into a pocket dimension where you can't be interfered with. So Parzival gets a few minutes' head start, but can't be stopped by a simple bullet. The film omits this, to its cost.)
Anyway, our bad guys don't bother with any of that. Instead, they rush around in the real world trying to stop our heroes. Which is nicely cinematic but hugely inefficient. Especially as they've been shown to have drones that are quite capable of delivering an explosive package. So it would be nice and easy for them to find the van, drop off some explosives. And the bad guys win.
Anyway, they don't do that. Instead, they get themselves defeated, their agent gets himself arrested, and our heroes win the game. Yay!
Except, again...
When Art3mis was imprisoned in the "Loyalty Centre", she wasn't being detailed illegally. Instead, she had been assessed as owing the company some thousands of dollars that she needed to work off. And while working it off, she would be charged for any failure to do her job, any damage to company equipment, and pretty much anything else they felt like charging her for. And, indeed, they company had been shown to be utter bastards about that - indeed, that was exactly what they had done to her father.
Now, Art3mis wasn't an observer in the final battle; she was very much an active participant. And, indeed, she triggered the battle by disabling a priceless one-use artifact.
So, being utter bastards, and given that they had just lost the contest directly as a result of the actions of someone who (a) has just been given a fifth of the prize and (b) who represents significant leverage on the other four winners, the bad guys would surely not simply take that lying down. Sure, a couple of their agents had just been arrested, but corporations have rogue employees all the time, of course, so they can be easily disavowed.
Our bad guys, therefore, should just levy absurd charges to Art3mis' account, potentially charging her for everything that was lost in the final battle, including the priceless one-use artifact. At the very least, that gives them a 20% control in the system; most likely, it leads to the other winners buying her out. And the bad guys win.
The upshot of all this, I'm afraid, was that I was unimpressed.
Ultimately, the film is very pretty, but it's also pretty dull - a very basic plot, very thin characters, and a requirement that the bad guys make really bad mistakes at key times just left me cold. It reminded me too much of better films, and didn't have enough in itself for me to recommend it. Which is a shame, though maybe something I should have expected.
Tuesday, April 10, 2018
Day 100: Update on... Stuff
It's day 100, so time for another update...
Books: By day 100, I 'should' be at 16.44 books read. I'm currently at 15 and a bit, so I'm some way behind. I had actually caught up last month, but "A Fine Balance" took me ages to get through.
In terms of the actual goal I set, I'm just about on target, in that I've read 3 of the remaining books, leaving a further 8 (or 7 - "Hamlet"). But given that "A Fine Balance" was one of them, and they're getting harder...
Band: Things have been going well, but there's not much to report since last time. We do have a heavy schedule of gala days and similar events for the summer, but I won't be doing them all. In fact, unless they sort out what they're doing with getting me a uniform, I might not be doing any of them!
Gaming: Nothing to report since last time.
Weight: I got back to the gym just before going back on holiday, which was a good thing. Between that and carrying Funsize around, I've actually lost about half a stone, which is good.
Blogging: This has fallen way behind, with me not having posted anything on either blog this month. We'll see if that rate picks up any over the next while.
And leaving the most important until last...
Project Tadpole: As noted, this came to its end in February. Funsize is due to be baptised on Sunday. Beyond that, though, I won't be reporting on events in these regular updates, though I daresay I may mention her once or twice elsewhere in the blog!
Until next time...
#14: "A Fine Balance", by Rohinton Mistry (a book from The List)
#15: "Pathfinder: Crownfall", by Thurston Hillman
Books: By day 100, I 'should' be at 16.44 books read. I'm currently at 15 and a bit, so I'm some way behind. I had actually caught up last month, but "A Fine Balance" took me ages to get through.
In terms of the actual goal I set, I'm just about on target, in that I've read 3 of the remaining books, leaving a further 8 (or 7 - "Hamlet"). But given that "A Fine Balance" was one of them, and they're getting harder...
Band: Things have been going well, but there's not much to report since last time. We do have a heavy schedule of gala days and similar events for the summer, but I won't be doing them all. In fact, unless they sort out what they're doing with getting me a uniform, I might not be doing any of them!
Gaming: Nothing to report since last time.
Weight: I got back to the gym just before going back on holiday, which was a good thing. Between that and carrying Funsize around, I've actually lost about half a stone, which is good.
Blogging: This has fallen way behind, with me not having posted anything on either blog this month. We'll see if that rate picks up any over the next while.
And leaving the most important until last...
Project Tadpole: As noted, this came to its end in February. Funsize is due to be baptised on Sunday. Beyond that, though, I won't be reporting on events in these regular updates, though I daresay I may mention her once or twice elsewhere in the blog!
Until next time...
#14: "A Fine Balance", by Rohinton Mistry (a book from The List)
#15: "Pathfinder: Crownfall", by Thurston Hillman
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