My Year in 2025

So, how has 2025 as a whole been?

My Year in... Blogging 

This year has seen me return to regular blogging, which is a good thing. This is the 120th post on the blog for the year, so that's a success. This year also saw me completely miss the 20th anniversary of this blog, which is... weird.

The Imaginarium remains on indefinite hiatus. I have more to say on the topic of gaming more generally.

All in all, I'm happy with that. In 2026 I would like to just see more of the same. Though there is a part of me that is considering a refresh of the blog - the current theme has been in place for a very long time, so maybe it's time for a change?

My Year in... Work

This has been a banner year in many ways, though somewhat frustrating in parts. It has also been a really hard year in many ways. So, successful, but I'm also very glad for the rest!

My Year in... Health

Nothing to report here - it's basically been fine.

My weight continues to be an issue, and one that really needs to be addressed. That said, I said exactly that last year and ended up getting nowhere...

My Year in... Gaming

It's funny how something can be such a huge part of your life for so long, and then it just stops, and then... it turns out you just don't miss it that much. I haven't done any gaming this year, I haven't been planning any campaigns, or writing anything, I haven't purchased any (physical) products or backed any Kickstarters. (I have purchased a small number of classic PDFs, but that barely counts - I'm completing a couple of 'sets'.)

I have no plans for any of this to change in 2026. Indeed, it is very likely that this segment won't even appear in the wrap-up for next year.

My Year in... Band

Band continues to be something of a disappointment. It just about does what I wanted it to do, but it's not particularly fulfilling. I may need to think on this some more - the current arrangements are unlikely to hold.

(On the other hand, the very last practice of the year was really good, so maybe there is some hope? If we can pick up in 2026 where we left off this year, I think I'd actually be happy with that.)

My Year in... Resolutions

As always, the wrap-up of annual goals, and setting of goals for next year, are handled in another post. The headline is that this year has been mostly positive.

My Year in... Travel

This year had two meaningful trips: to France for a week in the Summer, and to London for a couple of days with work. These were enjoyable enough, and in particular it was good to see the Sun in Summer! That said, I'd hope that next year sees a bit more travel to various places.

Also, there is now A Plan, but that's one for the future...

My Year in... the Church

This has been a tricky year. A few months ago I made to mistake of being persuaded to take over as convenor of one of the committees, which started well and then became hugely stressful. I'm now rather concerned for the future.

I also allowed myself to be drawn into a "Growing Young" initiative within the church, which I remain convinced is both the right thing and indeed absolutely essential for the church going forward... I just don't want to be the person doing it. But we'll see what happens with all of this in 2026.

You'll note, however, that the topic of this subsection has changed from "My Year in... Faith". And there's a reason for that - the last several months have very much been about attending church and being involved in the church, and I've been feeling something of a falling away in terms of faith. I have some thoughts on that for 2026, but I'd very much like to switch the title back for next year.

My Year in... Money

Another odd one. On the one hand, this is robustly healthy, and is all generally good. On the other hand, I now find myself obsessing over a spreadsheet that basically doesn't change day to day, which is odd. That's a good thing insofar as it's better than reverting to just ignoring it, but on the other hand it doesn't actually achieve anything.

My Year in... Love

I said last year that one of the good things was that Surprise! and Funsize had adopted a more settled sleep routine, which meant I was a bit better rested. Please excuse me while I go have a darkly cynical chuckle to myself.

My Year... Overall

This has been a really good year - even the negatives have generally been about things feeling flat, rather than anything truly bad. If 2026 is as good as this year has been, it looks to be really good indeed.

As always, this will be my final post of the year. I hope 2025 has been good for you, and I hope that the start of 2026 finds you happy and well, and looking forward to even better times ahead!

My Year in 2024

2024 has actually been a really good year. Here's why...

My Year in... Blogging 

Okay, firstly a negative - this has been my least bloggy year since records began. Both here and on the Imaginarium there has been a dearth of posts. I've often found myself lacking anything to write about, and lacking both time and inclination to do so anyway.

The Imaginarium is now about to enter an indefinite hiatus, while this blog will continue for the foreseeable future. However, I'm not sure what 2025 holds, and I've elected not to set a goal while I see if my passion for it remains.

My Year in... Work

The update for this year can be identical to last: Work has been mostly good this year, but not without its frustrations. There's not much more I can say here, so I'll leave it at that.

My Year in... Health

This years has been fine for health - no particular illnesses to speak of. I have had some odd battles with anxiety that seem to be related to tiredness and stress, but those hopefully seem to be abating.

My Year in... Gaming

The "Isles of Dread" campaign came to a successful end, and with that my gaming career came to an end, at least for now. This is rather unfortunate, but the group I was with had really run its course, and I don't currently have time or inclination to find a new group.

My Year in... Band

Band has been somewhat disappointing this year, as we had only a few events and ended up cancelling several of those. The band continues to plod on, and does its job in that it does keep me practicing, but it's a shame.

My Year in... Resolutions

As always, the wrap-up of annual goals, and setting of goals for next year, are handled in another post. The headline is that this year did not see any great level of success in my stated goals.

My Year in... Travel

This year we had three trips away. We saw in the year in France, at Disneyland Paris. Indeed, one of the highlights of the year actually came on the morning of the 1st of January, where we arrived at the park early and found it really quiet.

We also enjoyed a week or so in Banff in summer and a week or so in Alnwick in October. In both cases we were extremely lucky with the weather and had a really good time.

That said, one of the things I want to do next year is to get away somewhere abroad - the weather over the summer was generally disappointing, so I'm keen to see the Sun again!

My Year in... Faith

This has been another solid year. I've gradually settled into my new role as an Elder of the church, which mostly seems to involve attending a number of meetings. There's a lot more I could say about that, but it's a topic for another day. All in all though, it's been good.

My Year in... Money

There was an odd confluence of events between August and October of this year where we had to arrange a new mortgage deal and I was then forced to take stock of my pension situation. The upshot of that is that I've spent some times digging through my finances and bringing all the information together into a single spreadsheet. This has all proven extremely reassuring, but has left me a little annoyed that I didn't do all of this years ago.

My Year in... Love

This has actually been a really good year. Probably the key thing that has made a difference is that Funsize and Surprise! seem to have mostly settled into something of a routine, which means we have a bit more by way of free time and a bit more chance to get some decent sleep.

My Year... Overall

Once again, it doesn't really feel like the summary captures the feel of the year as a whole - most of the entries seem to be quite negative, while the year has actually been really good (and, indeed, considerably better than previous years). That's rather odd, but never mind.

And with that, I'll sign off for the year. I hope you all have a very Happy New Year. See you in 2025!

My Year in 2023

To get the most important thing stated up-front: 2023 has been a vastly better year than 2022, 2021, or 2020. It was not without its challenges, but all-in-all it has been a good year.

My Year in... Blogging 

I've managed both 120 posts here and 55 on the Imaginarium, so that's good. My expectation is that next year will see much the same here, but will likely see The Imaginarium becoming fallow once the "Isles of Dread" campaign comes to an end.

My Year in... Work

Work has been mostly good this year, but not without its frustrations. There's not much more I can say here, so I'll leave it at that.

My Year in... Health

2023 was mostly a good year, up until October, and then I was suddenly struck down by some sort of nasty cold/flu/Covid type Bug. That basically incapacitated me for most of October and November. Surprise! has likewise had a recurrence of his vomiting bug, and Funsize has had some minor illnesses. All in all, it hasn't been terrible, but the recovery from my illness put a major dampener on that.

My Year in... Gaming

The "Isles of Dread" campaign remains ongoing, though it is now closer to the end than to the beginning. I have now definitively decided that this is the final campaign with this group, which also means it is my final campaign for a good long time, perhaps ever. I remain on the fence regarding the 2024 revision of D&D - if it were published in PDF I would buy it sight-unseen, but I'm really not sure I want another set of thick hardcovers taking up limited shelf space, especially as I'm unlikely ever to play it.

My Year in... Band

Band has been fine, if unspectacular.

My Year in... Resolutions

As always, the wrap-up of annual goals, and setting of goals for next year, are handled in another post. I set a very modest set of goals for the year, so unsurprisingly they have been largely achieved.

My Year in... Travel

We made it away for one overseas trip this year, introducing Surprise! to the joys of France. That was a pleasant holiday, and a good chance to get some Sun. We also enjoyed a short break in York at Easter, which was most notable for Surprise!'s amazed reaction to seeing the Railway Museum. The wee guy loves trains!

Perhaps most of note, LC and I also spent a little time away by ourselves. Which was nice, to say the least - I'd forgotten what a solid night's sleep felt like.

My Year in... Faith

As with many things, this has seen a small but meaningful improvement. This came in two main fronts: I actually managed to spend some time working on the church website, which has therefore alleviated a lot of the guilt I was facing - there's still quite a bit to do, but at least there's some movement.

The other is that in November I was made an elder in the church. Which is a big change, though I'm not yet quite certain of just what I've let myself in for.

My Year in... Love

2023 has mostly been a quiet year, which means that the only thing I really have to mention is the arrival of Lion in our family. She has settled in, and has gradually found her voice over the last several months. Unfortunately, much of that voice consists of her saying "I'm not going for a walk in that!", but never mind.

Otherwise, 2023 has been an in-between year - the children are another year older and another year further on, LC and I marked 11 years married, but 11 doesn't end with a '5' or a '0', so... Which is fine - some years are less momentous than others.

My Year in... Frustrations

For all that this year has been good, there has been one area where I've been trying to tell myself something doesn't matter and that it doesn't bother me. But the truth is that it does, and it does. I'm not going to go into it any further here for... reasons. Probably my biggest frustration here is that this could be quite a simple fix, but those who could make the fix seem absolutely determined not to acknowledge the problem (and, indeed, to insist on the opposite). Which is annoying, because I think it does need resolved, and the alternative resolution isn't the one I would choose.

Oh well.

My Year... Overall

As with last year, I find that my summary doesn't really capture my overall feelings for the year. Unlike last year, that's for a very different reason - I found 2022 to be extremely difficult on a number of fronts, and 2023 has been a vast improvement. It's just that it has been a smallish but noticeable improvement across the board, rather than one or two things that I can point to and say "it's that!". But that's no bad thing, and for the first time in a number of years I can go into the next year with some optimism that things might improve. Which is nice.

And with that, I'll sign off for the year. I hope you all have a very Happy New Year. See you in 2024!

Introducing "Lion"

It has been an exciting week. In addition to the potty training/broken washing machine combination, we were visited by the new addition to our family: as of Thursday the Knigdom of Stevonia will adopt a dog!

She's a retired greyhound - huge, but very calm. She immediately took to the children, and they to her.

LC and I have been talking about getting a dog basically since we got married, but while we were living in the flat in Falkirk that just wasn't an option. When we moved, Funsize was already on the way, and then there was a small window of opportunity once she was two but Surprise! not yet on the way. So this is, in effect, the earliest this has really been a realistic possibility.

Since everyone else has a chocolate-themed "blog name", our newest addition needs one too. And since I could think of only one animal-themed chocolate bar (though I expect the immediately think of another dozen options once I post this), she shall henceforth be known as "Lion".

My Year in 2022

We've had a bad run - 2020 was a bad year and ended badly, 2021 was worse but with one massive bright side, but then 2022 was worse again. Thank goodness it's over!

My Year in... Blogging 

I've managed both 120 posts here and 60 on the Imaginarium, so that's good. I'm not convinced of the quality of the output, but that's another question!

My Year in... Work

This one has been a very mixed bag. I'm really not sure what to make of it overall - it feels like there could be a big step forward in the offing, but then I thought that before and it all turned to ash. So for the moment I'll just try to remain optimistic.

The other thing of note is that we have now returned to the office. This has been massively negative for me, as it essentially takes 5 hours out of my week in order to travel to an office where I do all the same things I could at home. This has also had the effect of vastly reducing my contact time with Funsize and Surprise!, which sucks, and has effectly eliminated all of my free time, which sucks more. Unfortunately, it is also the best thing for the team, and so I have to live with it.

My Year in... Health

I was ill twice in 2022, once with Covid and once with some sort of vomiting bug. LC has also had a brush with Covid, while Surprise! in particular has been forced to battle repeatedly with vomiting bugs in the last two months. But we're all still here and all still in mostly good health, so that's all good.

My Year in... Gaming

I wrapped up my two ongoing campaigns in the middle of the year, and then started a new campaign, "Isles of Dread". That's going well, but it is very definitely the final campaign with the current group. It also looks increasingly like it will be my final campaign ever; I'm less than thrilled by what I've seen of the 2024 D&D revision, so am thinking this is a good time to step off.

My Year in... Band

Band resumed again early in the year and has been fairly consistent since then. The band also had a fairly full Gala Day Season, and managed to improve significantly over the course of said season - I put that down to some fool leaving me in charge for a while. We ended the year with one Christmas lights switch-on, which was much more pleasant than the same event last year.

So that's all pretty good, really.

My Year in... Resolutions

As always, the wrap-up of annual goals, and setting of goals for next year, are handled in another post. Unfortunately, it doesn't make for particularly pleasant reading.

My Year in... Travel

This was another year spent entirely in the UK. We had three trips: to Legoland in Easter to celebrate our 10th anniversary, to Fort William in the summer, and then to Alnwick. These were all fine, but I do find I miss the Sun.

Hopefully next year will see us being able to venture abroad again; it has been too long.

My Year in... Faith

Well, we're still there, still going along, and it's all more or less okay.

My main takeaway from this year is a feeling of low-level guilt, if I'm honest - I'm supposed to be responsible for the church website, and the truth is that I've really dropped the ball on that for most of the year. I just haven't had the bandwidth to deal with these things as I would hope.

My Year in... Sadness

This was a big one. In January of this year my gran died, representing the fourth and final passing of one of my grandparents. That generation is therefore now ended. That in itself wasn't too terrible, as it wasn't hugely unexpected and because she had had a fairly horrible last few years.

What was horrible, though, is the effect that this had on the extended family. Those ties were already fraying, and there is now essentially no prospect of there ever being a reconciliation - there's just no real motivation for it. Additionally, there has been another falling out (for reasons that are not at all clear to me) between one sibling and a cousin, which represents another wedge.

It's a shame... but it is what it is.

Also of note was the unexpected and tragic death of one of my former students. That one was devastating, largely because it was so unexpected and so unfair.

My Year in... Love

LC and I celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary in April of this year! It's bizarre - it really doesn't feel like it was that long ago, and yet in that time we've moved house (after a massive ordeal), LC has established herself in her career, and we now have two children. Which all seems fairly crazy.

Parenthood remains a fairly tough challenge, and is at least three times as difficult with two than it was with one - it seems that as soon as Surprise! has recovered from whatever illness he has, he has passed it on to Funsize. She then plays with it for a while before handing it back. And the task of getting them out of the door and delivered to nursery and school before I head to work is the hardest thing in the whole entire world!

Speaking of which, Funsize has now started school, and continues to thrive. That's lovely to see.

So, yeah, that's all good.

My Year... Overall

This has been an incredibly tough year. Reading back, this post really doesn't capture the source of my malaise, nor the grinding slog that I've felt much of it to be. But perhaps that's no bad thing - perhaps it is better to focus on the highlights and try to leave the bad stuff behind. But 2023 really needs to be better, and I just don't see how that is likely to be.

I'm going to sign off for the year now. So, as usual, I shall wish you a Happy New Year!

"Legend Tells Us..."

Funsize and I were playing a variant of Hide and Seek, where one of us hides a doll and then the other seeks. It's not really blog-worthy, which is why I haven't mentioned it until now.

Except that this time Funsize had a new wrinkle for the game - she had found a wicker mat that LC uses for crafts, and was using it as a map, to provide useful clues. But it was the nature of the clues that amused me, and which provided the title of this blog.

For Funsize unrolled the map, adopted her best Dungeon Master voice, and intoned... "Legend tells us..."

There then followed an entire story with multiple clues and steps, all leading to a villainous mermaid who had stolen the doll and hidden it in her tail.

I have never been more proud.

My Year in 2021

2020 was a bad year, and ended on a fairly downbeat note. 2021 was worse, starting under a great deal of stress, recovering just in time to suffer a massive setback, and then ending once again under the shadow of Covid.

My Year in... Blogging 

I didn't set any formal goals for 2021, which means that there wasn't really anything to fall short of. That's probably a good thing, as at the time of writing I've managed a mere 95 posts here and 34 on the Imaginarium, where my usual targets would be 120 and 60.

In all honesty, I fear the Imaginarium is essentially finished with, so don't expect many posts in the future. I would, however, expect more posts on this blog in 2022.

My Year in... Work

The first five months of the year were pretty great for a number of reasons. Indeed, had you asked me in May of this year, I would have told you that I could see myself finishing my career with my current employers.

Then all the fears I implied in my end-of-year round-up from last year came to fruition. And the remainder of the year has basically been a disaster.

And I see no hope of things improving, which is a massive problem.

My Year in... Health

Somehow, we've all made it through 2021 (to present, at least) without a brush with Covid. 2021 also saw the safe, albeit exciting, arrival of Surprise! which was certainly a relief.

That's probably more than we really had any right to expect while in the midst of a pandemic.

My Year in... Gaming

I have been running two campaigns over Teams or Zoom this year. "The Mists of Lamordia" has continued to go well, despite taking far longer than I had intended or hoped. But it is now very definitely in the end-game - I hope to be finished by Easter.

"A Quest for Memory" ran well for a while, but then basically came to a halt for scheduling reasons. My suspicion is that it is now effectively done, as getting the party together is proving impossible, and it is sufficiently low-priority for people that one session was literally forgotten. We'll see - it will either resume soon or it won't resume.

Unfortunately, 2021 was the year in which I fairly definitively fell out of love with gaming. My plan now is to bring the two current campaigns to an end, and then hang up the dice bag. Probably permanently.

My Year in... Band

My band resumed practices late in the year, managed a grand total of two performances, and then had to cancel practices again due to Covid. However, I'm actually reasonably happy about things there - it is likely that we'll resume again early in 2022, and we're likely to have rather more events. I expect many, if not most, of the gala days to resume.

So that one is actually quite hopeful, despite the circumstances.

My Year in... Resolutions

As always, the wrap-up of annual goals, and setting of goals for next year, are handled in another post. And, as has been the pattern recently, it's very much a mixed bag.

My Year in... Travel

We had two holidays in 2021, both of them internal to Scotland - one trip to Dornoch for Dad's 75th birthday celebration, and one to Banff. Other than the arrival of Surprise!, those represent the high point of the year - despite not being particularly restful, they were both highly enjoyable.

I would dearly like to say that I expect that to change in 2022, but the truth is that I don't really expect much to change - we'll probably make one family trip to England, but I can't see us leaving the UK at any time next year.

My Year in... Faith

We finally gave up on remote church in February this year. Fortunately, we were then able to resume attendance in person, and have been going for a few months.

My fear is that this is quite likely to come to a halt again in the nearish future, but I mean to enjoy it while I can.

My Year in... Sadness

2021 saw the death of another much-loved mentor, as my advisor of studies at university passed on. I posted about this at the time - it was certainly sad, but came at the end of a long and happy life, so wasn't a cause for despair.

It also saw the death of Abbie, the last of three very old dogs my parents owned. (Technically, I think they adopted Abbie shortly after I left home, but she was well known to us before then. So it still counts.) She was very old, was in increasingly poor health, and had been much loved for many years, so while it was a sad event, it was also one that could be met with a sense of completion rather than excessive grief.

All in all, we've been extremely lucky.

My Year in... Love

Like so much this year, this has been a mixed bag. Because while we're obviously delighted at the arrival of Surprise!, and while Funsize continues to be a delight, there's no avoiding the fact that having children is hard work, and having two children is at least three times as hard as having one. Further, while Surprise! is a reasonably easy baby in many respects, his sheer size makes for its own challenges.

The other inescapable truth is that the year we've had has been one of enormous stresses. An awful lot of this year has consisted of getting up too early, going to work and dealing with unremitting stress, then stopping work and immediately dealing with children, and getting dinner, and all the rituals of family life... and then doing it all again. Then the weekend comes, and has too often been a case of doing nothing but battling with the kids just to get through. It's been really difficult, and really hasn't been helped by the need to limit contacts, more or less throughout.

The truth is that couples need time together, and they need time apart, and they need time together alone, and for most of this year finding quality time of any of those sorts has been almost impossible. Even such basic things as going out to the cinema, or a meal out, or meeting friends has largely been a no-go, and it so it's no surprise that things have become rather fraught.

Despite all that, we're still here. I'm still remarkably lucky that I'm married to my best friend, and that she continues to tolerate me even now. And in this regard I am hopeful that 2022 will be better than 2021 - now that the kids are that bit older, and especially now that Surprise! has moved past those tricky first six months when he's firmly tethered to Mummy, so we should now be a little more free. Plus, we're getting to the point where we just can't continue to let Covid so completely constrain us, so that will also have to free things up at least a bit.

At least, that's the hope...

My Year... Overall

This has been a really tough year for several reasons, and with many of the usual pressure valves blocked by Covid and other issues. The upshot is the 2021 was the worst year I've had for some time, and coming after 2020 and 2019, that's a bad run. The highlights were very great... but they were also few and far between.

Unfortunately, I don't really believe that things will naturally get better, so I've reached the point where I think there's a need to make them better. Which is potentially difficult, stressful, and really not what I need. But given the alterative, that's where we are.

As always, this will be my final post on this blog for the year, so I'll take the opportunity now to wish anyone still reading a very Happy New Year when it comes. Thanks for sticking with me!

Baking with Funsize #4: Mince Pies

This was a series I meant to start in November, but circumstances got in the way. So you'll have to forgive me - I have a backlog to clear.

Taking a break from the book of baking, these were made to Paul Hollywood's method that I've used before. Unfortunately, this was our least-successful baking effort, as once again Funsize lost interest, and wasn't really keen on the mincemeat filling anyway. A shame, but never mind.

I've concluded that I'm going to have to do these differently in future - I think I'll make up the pastry a day ahead to give it plenty of time to chill, and I also really need a bigger pastry cutter. In terms of flavour these are really nice - better than the previous twice I've made them - but they were rather too stressful to assemble. Of course, it didn't help that I was making them after a very long afternoon in the kitchen, nor that every single space in our kitchen seems to be filled with stuff. That's something to tackle over the holiday.

And that's the final "Baking with Funsize" for now - there will hopefully be another during the Christmas break, but who knows. The next item in the book is "Lace Biscuits with Lime Cream", which does sound really nice...

#58: "The Bloody Ground", by Bernard Cornwell

Baking with Funsize #3: Chocolate and Cherry Cookies

This was a series I meant to start in November, but circumstances got in the way. So you'll have to forgive me - I have a backlog to clear.

The third entry from the Usborne "Children's Book of Baking" was also the most successful so far - whereas previously Funsize lost interest after a while these held her attention, largely due to the opportunity to work with chocolate. They also tasted great, with the only downside being that they vanished far too quickly.

Baking with Funsize #2: Orange Shortbread Stars

This was a series I meant to start in November, but circumstances got in the way. So you'll have to forgive me - I have a backlog to clear.

The second item from the Usborne "Children's Book of Baking" was meant to be shortbread stars but due to the lack of a suitable cutter was actually shortbread flowers:

These were genuinely great - the addition of the orange was the key thing that made these worth doing.

As before, Funsize lost some interest part way through, but that's fine.

Baking with Funsize #1: Gingerbread Flowers

This was a series I meant to start in November, but circumstances got in the way. So you'll have to forgive me - I have a backlog to clear.

Over the past few weeks, Funsize and I have started working through the Usborne "Children's Book of Baking". We've started at the beginning and are going to work through it roughly one item a week (with a pause for Christmas). The first entry are Gingerbread Flowers, although many of them were actually Ginger Ninjas:

They tasted very nice, but that wasn't really the point. The key thing was that Funsize enjoyed her first foray into baking (though she did lose interest for a while in the middle). And daddy enjoyed spending time with his daughter too.

Success!

Surprise!'s Lack of Surprise

Yesterday we celebrated the baptism of Surprise!, which was a very different experience than Funsize's equivalent event - this was the first time we were back in the church building in more than a year, it was a much smaller event (both in the church and the family gathering afterwards), and we're all that much older and tireder than we were then. For all that, it was a lovely event.

The service was, in form at least, pretty much the same as for Funsize. However, where we had several people at the front, this time it was just LC and myself, plus Funsize and Surprise!. When the time came, LC held Surprise! forward, and the minister applied the water, rather than taking the child as would normally be the case.

One of the more surprising elements of the event was Surprise!'s reaction to the whole thing, or rather his complete lack of one - he just happily lay there are the water was applied, as though it was any other day.

After the event we returned home, where it was possible to host a small family gathering - one of the benefits of having a garden in which to host these things. It was a relatively small affair, but nice for all that. It was also the first time we've had any sort of gathering involving both sides of the family for more than a year. Another very welcome sign of things returning slowly towards normal.

Hopes For Our Son

Unlike with Funsize, we weren't asked for any words about our hopes for our son. That's probably just as well, as I'm running short of suitably subtle Pratchett/Tolkien/Babylon 5 references to use.

That said, the truth is that I hope for my son pretty much what every parent hopes for their child: happiness, health, good friends, and self-worth. Everything around that is just about arranging words.

So: I hope he grows up to he happy and healthy. I hope he finds himself surrounded by good friends. I know he will have a loving and supportive family, both immediate and wider.

And, most important of all, I hope he always knows just how loved and treasured he is. Just like his sister.

Surprise!

I haven't really had any time for blogging in the last week, so this is a rather belated post about a rather belated delivery. You wouldn't expect an overdue baby could end up being a massive surprise, but there it is.

It all started the evening I finished work. It was the weekend, and because of when LC was booked in to be induced we already knew I wasn't going to be back. That evening we had LC's parents over for dinner - a rather nice BBQ (our second of the year). LC was feeling rather uncomfortable, but at this point there was no real indication of what was coming, and so after the meal LC's parents went home, and we got started on our evening routine - LC took Funsize for a bath, while I started with the clean up and washing up.

The washing up was interrupted by LC crying out in pain. At which point I suggested she call the labour ward while I took over Funsize's bath. The advice was that things might be starting to happen, but we should stay home for now.

Next, Funsize was put in front of the TV while LC had a both to try to help with the pain, and I finished the washing up. Oh, and I called LC's parents to come back and collect Funsize "as a precaution at this time".

By the time the washing up was done, LC was out of the bath, but was crying out in considerable pain. I went upstairs to find that her waters had broken. What to do, what to do? (At this point LC snapped at me. Understandably, given the circumstances...)

The assumption at this point was still that we had plenty of time - last time there were hours between the waters breaking and the birth. Still, there was a need to be ready. So I headed downstairs, got Funsize into her shoes and jacket and made sure she had everything she needed. I also, crucially, unlocked the front door.

But I wasn't liking what I was hearing from upstairs, so now I called the Labour Ward...

As I was going through the routine "who are you" questions, I was heading upstairs and put on the speaker phone, whereupon the midwife noted that LC was already pushing, and asked if anything could be seen. "The head!" LC exclaimed.

The midwife then said two terrifying things. Firstly, that the baby was going to be born at home, and secondly that she was going to call an ambulance. Oh, and could I go get some cloths, towels, or similar?

So I did. Meanwhile, LC got down on all fours, and it was time for the midwife to talk us through the birth...

The next few minutes were not something I ever expected to experience. First the top of the head appeared. With the next contraction, the baby had a forehead and some eyes. Then a mouth and chin. "Your next contraction should be your last," said the midwife on the phone. Meanwhile, I was worried - the baby was a distinct purple colour...

At this point an unfamiliar voice came from downstairs. "Hello?" The ambulance had arrived!

I shouted, and up they came, and with enormous relief I moved out of the way to let the professional take my place. And seconds later, our son was born.

Once that was done, everything slowed right down. The ambulance crew moved on to helping LC, and our son was handed to me for some warmth (and to get us out of the way).

I'm not sure whether it was immediately before or immediately after the birth, but LC's parents had arrived by the time I went downstairs. Which had the nice consequence that they, but more importantly Funsize, were able to meet the new arrival right away. (There is a photo, but it's not the best - the baby is cute; me, not so much.)

And then it was off to the hospital. LC's parents took charge of Funsize, but also spent quite a lot of time collecting towels, clearing up, and generally putting the house back in order - by the time I got back home, it was all spotless.

From there, it was all remarkably calm. LC required some stitches, but was in remarkably good health. The baby was likewise entirely healthy (apparently, they're just that colour when first born), and big - 10 pounds, 8 ounces, and a bit. (And she did that with no pain control at all!) One day later, and we were all home.

A few things remain to be said: This was not at all how I expected to spend a Friday night, but it all worked out okay. Funnily enough, while it was all going on I actually found that I wasn't scared - there basically just wasn't time. I just had to do the next thing, then the next, and so on. But I was enormously relieved when the ambulance crew arrived. (When LC went for her bath, I very nearly joked about "The Worst-Case Survival Handbook" having a section on how to deliver a baby. I'm kind of glad I skipped that particular joke!)

I must also, of course, pay tribute to LC, who achieved something remarkable - to deliver at home, without any pain control, to such a large baby, and to come recover so well is extra-ordinary.

And I must also, once again, thank the medical staff involved - the midwifes in the hospital, and especially the one on the phone, and also the ambulance crew. All were brilliant, just when they were needed. Lots of people have congratulated me for my part in all of this, but the truth is that all I actually did was make one phone call at just the right time (and remembered to leave the front door unlocked). In the big picture, that's basically nothing.

Finally, of course, is that the new arrival needs a blog-name. I had been planning to go with Button, on the grounds that there aren't many types of chocolate smaller than a funsize. But under the circumstances another name seems more appropriate. Henceforth, he shall be Kinder Surprise, or just Surprise! (and KS for short).

Welcome to the world wee man!

Funsize's Lockdown Birthday

As the previous post implies, Funsize has recently turned three. Whereas the first birthday saw us borrowing a hall and hosting a big party and the second year saw me taking the day of work for a daddy-daughter trip to the aquarium followed by a visit from many family members, this year was celebrated in lockdown.

The day started before the previous one really ended - it proved difficult to put FS to bed on Saturday, after which LC and I spent some time decorating the downstairs and laying out presents. Which meant we were already up against it, as going to bed after midnight is no longer as enticing as it was (and it was never all that enticing, if I'm being honest).

On waking, FS's immediate request was to have cake. She had been excited to help me in the kitchen on Saturday, only to be cruelly denied the ability to actually taste the cake we'd made, and again she was to be denied. Such a shame.

However, her disappointment was to be short-lived as we took her downstairs, whereupon all those efforts hanging bunting and blowing up balloons were worthwhile. And then she spent an hour or so tearing apart wrapping paper. Good times.

We then headed out for an early lunch, which we purchased from a McDonalds drive-through. I have no excuse.

From there we headed over to the Scottish Owl Centre, which is one of very few things that are still open. Fortunately, the weather was bright and sunny, albeit cold. Also fortunately, this is something the FS has very much enjoyed before, so we knew it was a decent choice. And so it proved. We enjoyed about an hour and a half of looking at the owls, including a talk from the keepers, before FS gradually decided it was time to move on. Then a quick play on an extremely busy playpark (not surprising on the first day of really decent weather in ages), and then home.

At this point we were then able to arrange a short playdate with one of the FS's friends. Obviously, the travel restrictions meant that family weren't able to visit, which is a real shame, while lockdown meant there was no chance for a party. But what is still allowed, we did. It's obviously no substitute, but it was also very welcome for all that.

Then FS helped me decorate the cake, something she'd been desperate to do all weekend, and then it was time for the Zoom and Skype calls to both sets of grandparents - and two lots of blowing out candles. (Poor thing - FS really wanted to try the cake, and after the first candle blowing she still couldn't! But it was, eventually, worth the wait.)

Then a birthday buffet, which I over-catered rather spectacularly, an evening watching "Spies in Disguise" (which is a reasonable way to spend a couple of hours, if you already have Disney+), and then bed for a very tired but very happy three-year-old.

It was a good day, though at the end of it LC noted a little sadness about it all - obviously, the lockdown meant no opportunity for a real party and also no chance to see family in person. For all concerned, but especially the two sets of grandparents, that's hard to take. And as good as the technology is, it again is just no substitute.

I totally understand that, of course. However, the major mitigation of that is that she's still young enough that she probably won't remember any of this, and resilient enough that when it's all over and done with she should just pick up where things left off. So rather than focusing on what she missed out on, it's okay to focus on what was possible. And it was a good day.

But here's hoping it is the only birthday she ever has to have in lockdown.

My Year in 2020

This time last year I wrote: 2020 looks like it will probably be the year when those various changes actually come about, and so I expect it to be another very busy year. But, hopefully, it will be a good one.

Dear oh dear.

2020 has been an absolutely disastrous year in so many ways and for so many people that my over-riding view at this point is "thank goodness that's over". And yet...

My Year in... Blogging 

For 2020 I set myself the same goal as in 2019 - 120 posts here and 60 on the Imaginarium. And, despite a major wobble, it looks like both of those goals are set to be achieved, if only just. I'm reasonably happy with that - for a year in which we've done nothing, it is something of a success just to find things to write about.

My Year in... Work

2020 started very well, picking right up where 2019 left off. Then, late in March, we were sent to work from home. This actually worked quite well - we had been equipped with everything we needed to work remotely, albeit for entirely different reasons, and so all of that just carried straight over.

Nonetheless, I had expected things to founder quite quickly - that we'd get through our existing to-do list and then grind to a halt. That actually didn't happen.

The upshot is that the first three-quarters of the year were absolutely outstanding at work.

And then the whole thing came crashing down. The sense that I get now is that the points have switched over, and my career has been moved from the express line to a siding. And there's nothing can be done about it. Looking forward to 2021, it's all just sickening. Gutted.

My Year in... Health

Obviously, this has been a year of real concern, though mostly I've been concerned about others more than about myself - both Lady Chocolat and Funsize have been at considerably more risk than I have been. That said, I had a major health worry about six weeks ago, to the extent that I genuinely thought something was drastically wrong. In the event, it all turned out okay, but that was still a worry.

My main thought for 2021: that vaccine can't come soon enough. (Unfortunately, I don't expect to get it in 2021 - for various reasons I am, rightly, at the back of that queue, and it's going to be a multi-year project.)

My Year in... Gaming

2020 has been a curious year, because the switch to doing everything online has actually opened the floodgates to a bit more gaming - my work game moved online, and when that proved a success that motivated me to start a second, online game. Which has been fun.

There is still something I miss, because there just isn't a real substitute to face-to-face gaming, but I'm in a much better and happier position than I was in 2019.

My Year in... Band

Conversely, 2020 has been disastrous for pipe bands. The lag inherent in online calls has meant that there have been no practices since lockdown began, and all of our events for the year were cancelled.

During lockdown proper, we of course had the "Clap For Carers", at which I was asked to play something. That's pretty much all I've done by way of performing this year, with next year also looking like it may be a slim year (vaccine dependent).

My Year in... Resolutions

As always, the wrap-up of annual goals, and setting of goals for next year, are handled in another post.

My Year in... Travel

I had one two-day trip to Copenhagen early in the year, and was just about planning another when lockdown hit. We also took a long weekend away in October. And that's about it.

My Year in... Faith

This has been a difficult year, because of the difficulties with everything else. Attending church via Facebook really isn't the same as attending in person.

My Year in... Sadness

We have come through 2020 blessedly unscathed, but that doesn't mean that it hasn't been without sadness. Unfortunately, Grandma's health continues to decline, and will inevitably continue to do so. And with lockdown her ability to receive visitors has essentially been curtailed. That's really not a good position, and the toll it is taking on people and relationships is very sad.

I also received another piece of very sad news recently - a friend and mentor from the Camelon & District Pipe Band passed away early in December. Apparently he had been ill for some time, but chose not to share this widely (as was his prerogative). There is yet another hole in the world where a person should be.

My Year in... Love

It occurs to me that I have not, until now, mentioned the single most important event of 2020 on this blog at all. Come April next year, and all being well, Lady Chocolat, Funsize and I will be joined by another little Tadpole! That is obviously great, and much-hoped-for news, though I must admit to a certain concern given the situation.

My Year... Overall

2020 has been a bad year. Things are looking up, but that hope is mingled with significant fear - there are just too many unknowns, and too much of that home is just fragile. So while 2021 should be a better year, I find that I face it more apprehensive than anything else.

As always, this will be my final post on this blog for the year, so I'll take the opportunity now to wish anyone still reading a very Happy New Year when it comes. Thanks for sticking with me!

A Tribute to My Wife

A week ago on Friday, Emma Brockes in the Guardian wrote, "We are all working on our time management skills, while realising that the only really valuable time management tool is a wife to watch the kids."

I'm not entirely sure whether this was an attempt at humour or something less pleasant, but that comment did strike me at the time, and has stayed in my mind since. Of course, that's because there is a nugget of truth to what she says.

The simple fact is that I couldn't still be working from home full-time were it not for LC being both willing and able to look after Funsize to allow me to do so. Of course, that's not entirely a matter of choice (since my working means I still get paid, which means the bills still get paid, which means a major worry is lifted.) However, I'm also well aware that it's not an easy ride, and would not be her preferred use for her days. As much as LC sometimes complains about her job, I'm convinced that she would prefer to be out doing that.

And, of course, there are also different ways that one can react to the necessities of the days - accepting things and carrying on with grace is not the only way to proceed. Things could be a lot harder than they have been... and that's largely down to LC.

Of course, the upshot of all of this is that I've come to the stunning revelation that a marriage (and indeed raising children) is a partnership. And like all partnerships, it works best of both partners do their bit to complement the other. That doesn't necessarily mean a 50/50 split of everything, since it's likely that aptitudes and interests will differ. But it does (or should) mean both doing thier share, and if need be stepping up to support the other in difficult times.

It is now eight years since LC made the crazy mistake of becoming my wife. Those eight years have been amongst the very best of my life, filled with very many more good times than bad (or even indifferent). She was, is, and remains my best friend, and I count myself very lucky (especially in the current crisis) to have met and married her.

And that is all I have to say about that. At least for now.

My Year in 2019

As we get to the end of 2019, I find myself not quite sure what to make of it. It has felt like a bit of an "in between" year - 2018 saw some big beginnings and endings, and we know that there are further big transitions coming, probably in 2020, but 2019 seemed mostly to be about anticipation. It's been an odd one.

Anyway, time for the traditional round-up...

My Year in... Blogging

In 2019 I formalised my sort-of goals from 2017 and 2018, and set myself a target of posting 120 times here and 60 times on the Imaginarium. I achieved that, so am fairly happy with it. However, I did find at times I was posting mostly for the sake of building a post count - the topics could perhaps have been a bit more inspired.

My Year in... Work

2019 had a really rocky start, to the extent that I seriously considered quitting several times in February. However, I eventually got to grips with my new project and the new technology (well, new to me), and was able to start making some significant impact, to the extent that the year has ended exceptionally well, and the year overall counts as a major success.

Which, if you had told me in February, I would not have believed, but am very glad of.

My Year in... Health

There has been no change here, so that's good.

My Year in... Gaming

Sadly, 2019 has been a let down on the gaming front. The work game continues apace, which is quite nice, and just enough to keep me in touch with the hobby, but it really doesn't scratch the itch. I can't see any prospect of 2020 being any better, for various reasons, but I'm inclined to consider 2021 to be a crucial year - if I don't get some 'real' gaming in by then it's probably time to consider that hobby ended.

My Year in... Band

This has been fine, but somewhat uninspiring. It does what I need it to do, but it doesn't do anything more than that.

My Year in... Resolutions

As always, the wrap-up of annual goals, and setting of goals for next year, are handled in another post.

My Year in... Travel

Unusually, we started this year in another country, celebrating Mum's birthday in France. We then added a second trip to France, for a week in the summer. That was nice, especially seeing Funsize spending time with her cousins.

My other ventures abroad were with work - a day trip to Amsterdam and back and a two-day trip to Copenhagen.

As a family, we took a few days holiday in Banff, and then made another trip to England - we spent a few days in Alnwick, just in time for it to get flooded, and then travelled further south for a belated 40th birthday party.

The major thing I wanted in most of 2019 was to avoid getting on a plane - 2018 had been crazy, and the start of 2019 was likewise quite busy, so I was keen not to go too far. But the last few months have given me a little cabin fever, so I'm keen to venture further afield at some point in 2020. Mostly, I want to see the sun!

My Year in... Faith

There's very little to report here. We've continued to settle in our new church. I had to turn down an opportunity to join one of the committees, as I felt I just didn't have the time. Funsize continues to be made extremely welcome.

I do find myself a little concerned about the numbers in the congregation, which seem to have dropped recently, and also about youth work, which is a permanent problem for much of the Church of Scotland. Though it is a fairly academic concern, since I really don't have the means to actually do anything to change it.

My Year in... Sadness

When Grandad passed in 2018, there was a glimmer of hope that this might give Grandma a hint of more life - so much of her life had been bound up in the care of his last days, so there was a hope it might be a burden lifted. Sadly, it was not to be, and Grandma fairly quickly went downhill quite steeply. That has been difficult to watch, even from afar, with no prospect of meaningful improvement.

My Year... Overall

As I said, this has felt very much like an "in between" year. We've moved forward from the big changes of 2018, but we also know that there are further big changes to come, so we've been kind of stuck. 2020 looks like it will probably be the year when those various changes actually come about, and so I expect it to be another very busy year. But, hopefully, it will be a good one.

As always, this will be my final post on this blog for the year, so I'll take the opportunity now to wish anyone still reading a very Happy New Year when it comes. Thanks for sticking with me!

Funsize's First Birthday

We had Funsize's first birthday party yesterday, a few days after her birthday proper. (Actually, it was a busy week, and weekend, for birthdays and parties - C and A turned 40 last week, so we had that party on Friday night also.) Once again, we were lucky enough to be able to borrow the church hall for the event, which meant we were able to invite a sizeable group of people, hire a soft play company, and lay on food. But more on that in a bit.

On Funsize's actual birthday, I took the day off work and we went over to the Kelvingrove to see Dippy the dinosaur. That was nice - once again, it took FS a moment to realise what we were pointing at, and then she realised just how big it was. Which was fun. We also spent a little time looking at the other animals, the exhibit on Ancient Egypt, the Leonardo da Vinci sketches, and various other things. Plus, we had a rather nice lunch - Funsize enjoyed their "Explorer's Box", which contained a sandwich, an apple, and a yogurt. I had a rather nice burger, LC has the fish.

Anyway, back to the party - the event was mostly organised by one of LC's cousins, who was also one of her bridesmaids some years ago. And a grand job she did, too - balloons fit to entertain an army of babies, the aforementioned soft play, a photo 'booth' where we took the picture with the cake. Oh, and a rather spectacular cake that she'd arranged to have made. (I'll endeavour to add some photos later - I don't have any on my phone, so will need to get them off another device.)

Some initial teething troubles aside, everyone seemed to have a good time, which is always the mark of a successful party. Huzzah!

And then we went home and collapsed in a heap. Funsize proceeded to sleep for three hours in the evening (missing dinner in the process), woke up just long enough to open the last of her million-and-one presents, and then went back to sleep. Somehow, we actually managed to get three halfway decent nights sleep across the weekend.

So that's that. As noted, I'll try to add some photos later...

My Year in 2018

Finally, we come to the end of 2018! It has been quite the year, with the main theme being one of great change. So, time for the end-of-year round-up.

My Year in... Blogging

As in 2017, I set myself a sort-of goal of posting 120 times here and 60 times on the Imaginarium. And, as in 2017, I hit both those targets, despite a major drought on the Imaginarium in the first half of the year. I'm happy with that.

My Year in... Work

For much of last year and the first half of this year, I wasn't able to talk about a big change coming at work - we were recently acquired by another company. I'm still not going into the details here, as part of my "don't talk about work" policy, but I will say that it has been a very positive step, for a few reasons.

The other big news is that around Easter of this year I finally received the much-hoped-for promotion. Which was nice!

My Year in... Health

Things have been much better this year than last year (when they weren't too bad either). So that's all to the good!

My Year in... Gaming

On the other hand, 2018 has been somewhat of a disappointment on the gaming front. I have, rather unexpectedly, found myself running a game at work, which is nice. However, I have largely fallen out of the Falkirk RPG group (for reasons of distance and scheduling), but have not found a group in Livingston. I would be nice to think that might change, but I fear the reality is that if I wanted a group I would have to set one up... and I no longer really have the time or energy to be bothered.

In short, I expect 2019 to also be a very quiet year for gaming.

My Year in... Band

Things have been ticking along quietly in my new band - I'm involved enough to keep practicing without feeling any real pressure, which is nice. I do kind of miss the teaching aspect of it, and there's no prospect of that changing in the new band, but on the other hand I'm not feeling particularly inclined to push for a change.

My Year in... Resolutions

As always, the wrap-up of annual goals, and setting of goals for next year, are handled in another post.

My Year in... Travel

Ah, this year has been crazy!

Our first trip of the year was just a few weeks after the arrival of Funsize, when LC and I travelled to London for a friend's wedding. It was the start of summer, and a really hot weekend - especially as the AC on the train coming home failed.

Then there was the big trip out to the US for a family wedding. This was the best of the trips of the year, with a good time being had by all.

And then there was a third wedding, this involving a short journey and then an overnight stay. I wouldn't mention this except that it was followed immediately by an unexpected journey down South to say goodbye...

A few weeks later, that was then followed by another trip down South for another, more formal goodbye. This was also a good trip, albeit a painful one.

Then, more happily, LC and I (and FS!) spent a few days in Antwerp. This was a good trip, but by then I was really starting to get fed up with travel. I did also feel that just a few days was really enough for Antwerp - we could perhaps have found more to do, but we might have been making things up for the sake of making them up. I recommend the zoo. And the fries.

Not finally, I then had to make a trip back to the US, this time for work. It was fine - tiring and hard work, but very productive.

And then there is one more trip that I shall mention but not discuss further at this stage. Watch this space...

2019 looks like it will start much as this year has been, but will then calm down almost completely. (I may have as many as three trips with work in January and February, but have indicated that I am then not available to travel until the summer.)

I think that our own personal travels will be considerably shorter in range next year - we might make a trip to France in July, but otherwise are likely to remain in the UK, or perhaps even just in Scotland. Part of me thinks that we should seek to travel while it's still easy (grr, Brexit), but a bigger part of me has little desire to spend any more time in a plane!

My Year in... Faith

It has been a good year. LC and I have setting into our new church and been made very welcome. We're both becoming increasingly involved, which is a good thing... to a point. I expect 2019 to essentially be more of the same, which would be good.

My Year in... Sadness

As I alluded to previously, 2018 was another year that featured a great sadness, with the passing of Grandad. As with last year, I wrote about this at some length at the time so won't reiterate here. However, my thoughts at this time are very much with Grandma, who has just faced her first Christmas without him in more than sixty years.

My Year in... Great Joy

In sharp contrast, though, this year saw the completion of Project Tadpole and the arrival of Funsize. Again, I wrote about this at length at the time, so I'll not reiterate it here. Suffice it to say that she's been keeping us busy!

My Year... Overall

As I predicted at the end of last year, 2018 was a year of massive changes. Most of these have been positive, some hugely so, alloyed with one great sadness. I feel we've now really started to settle in Livingston, which means we now have a foundation for moving forward, and I have some significant optimism about 2019 as a result.

Anyway, that's the end-of-year review. As always, I wish you a Happy New Year, and will see you in 2019!

The Highs and the Lows

I thought I was going to die last night, and that wasn't one of the lows to which I refer...

On Saturday, LC and I (and Funsize) attended our third wedding of the year. This was for one of my colleagues, and I was once again called on to play the pipes. It was a lovely day - hot and sunny, with a small but intimate party present, in wonderful surroundings.

Unfortunately, Sunday was less successful. When we returned home, it was to a text message from Captain Ric to the effect that he'd just been to see Grandad and that if we wanted to see him again then it would be wise to drop everything and go and do that.

So on Sunday I sent an email to work indicating that I wouldn't be in, and made preparations for a long drive. (I'm extremely lucky in that I have an employer who is very reasonable about such things. It's likely that I'll have to come to work on Saturday to make up the hours, but otherwise it's fine.) After some consideration, G decided to join us, thus ensuring that all five of the siblings had the chance to go.

Yesterday was therefore a day dominated by long drives. Fortunately, FS took it all in her stride, remaining asleep most of the time and fairly content most of the rest. Of course, we had to make additional stops to ensure she had a chance to get some air/stretch out/feed/change, which meant that the normal three-and-a-half hours each way was considerably longer.

It wasn't a comfortable visit. The sad reality is that the person we said goodbye to wasn't the man I knew.

But, crucially, that visit did allow us to say our goodbyes, and did provide closure. (Indeed, as I mentioned briefly before, I felt that my last visit had been deeply unsatisfying, precisely because I felt it didn't give that closure. So it's a massive relief to have made that one last trip.) So, while it was horrible and painful, it was still to the good.

As for nearly dying... (I should note that you might well not want to read this...)

Getting home late last night, we proceeded to order too much food from Dominos, which we then scoffed. A couple of hours later we went to bed, still feeling rather uncomfortably full (or, at least, I was).

About three o'clock, I woke up feeling very distressed. This was shortly followed by the mini-sick, but with a very nasty twist... See, with my mouth being so dry, I suddenly found that I wasn't able to swallow properly, which meant I suddenly found that there was a blockage.

Cue several anxious seconds of gagging and choking until I finally worked it free and was able to actually breathe again.

It's fair to say that it has been an eventful few days...