One of many silly disucssions held at the weekend involved the setting of an appropriate protocol for parting in an environment where different circles of family are gathered. Obviously, some of the persons there, it is appropriate to bid farewell with a brotherly embrace, while others might be better suited with a simple "Bye!". However, it is also important to not cause offense, by embracing some and not others. Hence, the protocol that was generated was to bid everyone farewell with a "manly handshake". This shows respect and affection, without being over-familiar, and without offending any. (Except Leigh, who was just being awkward. She received two such handshakes, on the ground that I didn't bid her farewell at Christmas.)
The weekend was interesting. This was the second of two family gatherings to celebrate my grandparents' 80th birthdays, and their 60th wedding anniversary. The first was in August, just before my move to Yeovil, and was attended by the entire family, with one exception.
I had assumed that having two gatherings would lead to smaller turnouts, and that one event would actually be poorly attended. Given the near-perfect attendance in August, therefore, coupled by the fact that this was a weekend rather than just a day, I felt sure this event would not have many people present.
I was wrong, of course. In the event, the entire family was gathered. Of course, silliness ensued!
The thing is, my grandparents have four children. Each of these four is somewhat alike in manner and temperament. Many of the same quirks are present in all four cases, and in each case, the child has found a partner who can, at least, understand and manage those quirks. Naturally, when the second generation themselves had children, many of those same quirks were passed on. Therefore, despite the fact that I have seen her about four times in the last decade, I have a great deal in common with my cousin Rebecca (to choose a random example).
Amongst the traits that have been passed on is a somewhat zany sense of humour. The third generation are intelligent children of intelligent children, who themselves were around for Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and many of the other offbeat comedies the first time around. We're all rather crazy. And we play off against each other, so when there's a gathering like this, one person will generate a silly notion, another will run with it, and the whole will loop back on itself. Given that we each have similar comic timing, and the ability to refer to things that happened an hour ago, and be understood (or even to refer to things from the last major gathering in '95), it all gets really crazy. Frankly, I dread to think what the staff of Guy's Thatched Hamlet (where we were staying) thought.
There's one more wrinkle to the silliness. In addition to the core family (if you will - I mean the blood relations), this gathering was marked by the presence of a significant number of partners for the third generation. Claire's husband and Amy's husband were both present, of course, as was Richard's fiancee, Andrew's girlfriend, Rob's girlfriend, Rebecca's boyfriend and Peter's girlfriend. This was something of a departure - Mark was at the '95 gathering briefly, but none of the others had really been at anything like this before.
It's interesting to see the different approaches. Leigh, Lauren and Paul seemed definately bemused by all the silliness. By contrast, Mark and Chris were definately key players in the madness. (I didn't quite get a reading on Aileen and Anna. I think they leaned more towards bemusement, but both displayed hints of a capacity for great silliness, so I'm not too sure.) It appears that, for the members of the clan, there are two valid approaches to finding a partner: find someone who will tolerate the silliness, or find someone who will enhance the silliness. I must confess, I find the latter approach more appealing, although both are valid.
Anyway, it was a good weekend, and a gathering that largely lacked some of the spite and recriminations that had appeared at past gatherings.
