Mop Jousting

The place where I live sounds a bit like the name of a place where some famous knights used to live. Consequently, I felt the need to do things that are a bit like things that knights would do. So, after a burst of singing "We're Knights of the Round Table", I got to work inventing a new sport: Mop Jousting!

To engage in mop jousting, you need the following things:

A life-size cardboard cut-out of Darth Vader, Britney Spears, or other intergalactic villain. Targets should be affixed to the head, heart, and other vulnerable areas.

Two half-coconut shells.

One other person (to act as squire).

One mop.

The goal is to have your squire use the coconut shells to provide a clip-clop sound while you barrel down the corridor toward the target with the mop, and strike it at force. Like in a joust. Additional points are awarded for appearing most chivalrous while performing this heroic deed.

Two variants have been suggested by interested parties since I invented the sport.

Leigh suggested that the best form of the sport would involve a wheelchair. Indeed, she went so far as to suggest some sort of fixed harness for the mop. Personally, I think she may have thought about this a bit too much.

Graham suggested dispensing with the cocnuts and the squire, and instead having a CD of coconut noises at different speeds. The CD should then be put on random, giving a more difficult version of the game. This also allows for solo mop jousting, which has to be a boon.

Now all I need to do is get some funding for my mop jousting league. My ultimate goal is to have mop jousting declared an Olympic sport for 2012.