The Saga Nears its End

The saga of my broadband rolls on. Two weeks ago, I placed a new order for broadband with a new ISP. Last Friday, my line was activated. It didn't work.

The problem was exactly the same as I saw before: the modem LED flashed on and off constantly, indicating that it was trying to gain sync with ADSL, but was unable to do so. One key difference, though, was that my new ISP had sent me a new modem, which I tried also, to the same effect.

Clearly, therefore, it wasn't an equipment failure - the odds of two sets of equipment failing in exactly the same way are fairly small. Likewise, it wasn't an ISP problem at all - the same problem from two providers, especially given that the line was actually ceased and reconnected in between, indicates that the fault lies elsewhere.

So, I got in touch with my ISP, knowing full well that that was a formality. As expected, after several phone calls and tests on the line, the determination was that the fault lies with the internal wiring in the flat. Since this isn't an ADSL problem as such I needed to contact BT to have them send out an engineer to fix the wiring.

In parallel, I contacted BT, whom I now name and shame for their role in this mess. My first step was to follow their automated menus to report a fault on my line. However, when asked if I was having trouble only with broadband, I foolishly said "yes", whereupon the system responded that since I wasn't a BT Broadband customer I had to contact my ISP. It then hung up on me. Never mind that the broadband problem is the symptom, not the root cause of my difficulty.

So, I went back through their menus and chose "no" this time. The system then did an automatic test of the line and concluded that there "might be a problem". An agent would phone me back. Fantastic, thought I. Surely it would all be sorted soon.

But no! This was Saturday, which is clearly far too soon for something so simple. The agent called back. I explained the problem. As soon as I mentioned broadband, she declared that it was an internet problem, and I had to contact my ISP. At this point I had a good rant at her about how that was utter nonsense, that my ISP weren't responsible for the internal wires in my appartment, and how the whole thing was a joke. She was not to be moved - I had to contact my ISP.

It wasn't until yesterday that confirmation came from my ISP that they absolutely couldn't help - it needed to be BT who sent out an engineer.

So, I called BT to sort this out. I spoke to someone in the Faults department, who said that would be no problem, but that the booking should be done through the Customer Care department. She put me through. The Customer Care department then apologised for this, saying that it was the Faults department I needed after all. The girl there put me back through to a different person in Faults. Who proceeded to explain that it was not their responsibility, and I absolutely had to speak to my ISP. Naturally, she would not be shifted from this position by my explanation that she was talking utter nonsense. (She did at one time try to persuade me that if she booked an engineer then it wouldn't help. According to her, BT only employ incompetent engineers. I found that a very interesting argument.)

So, I called back later. This time, I spoke to a very helpful guy who said I needed to speak to the Broadband department. He gave me their number. I hung up, knowing fine well that this was the wrong advice, but never mind. The Broadband department was closed for the night.

So, I called Faults again (fortunately, this was all a Freephone number). This time, I spoke to an Indian chap who couldn't hear me very well, probably due to my speaking just a bit too fast. Nonetheless, I seized on this to my advantage, and told him I absolutely needed an engineer out to replace the internal wires in my appartment, so people can hear me when I phone them.

So, the engineer is booked for tomorrow morning. This has the immediate effect of requiring that I somehow work 25 hours today, which is interesting.

More to the point, once the engineer comes out, I should be able to explain the problem to him, show him the substandard wiring, get him to replace the bits that need replaced and, hopefully, get broadband!

(My expectation is that the engineer will come out, take one look at the set-up, and know exactly what needs to be done. They're like that.)

Alternatively, he'll look at it and declare that since it's not a voice problem he can't help, and I need to speak to my ISP. Or, he'll decide he can't replace the wires for some reason. Or, he'll replace the wires and it won't make any difference. Or he'll just not show up. Or something.

In any event, the saga nears its end. By this time tomorrow, I'll either have broadband, or I'll be contacting my ISP to inform them that I have to cancel the contract. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow.