The seeds for the disaster to come were sown last week, when I switched on the TV to watch something (possibly "Pushing Daisies", or perhaps "Blade Runner") to find "The One Show" doing a feature on sublock, and how it just wasn't as effective as the bottles claimed. Of particular note was their assertion that a person was supposed to put on a full sixth of a bottle every two hours. This came as something of a surprise.
Now, I loathe sunblock. Truly, it is just awful. It's slimy, and sticky, and unpleasant, and if I wear it with my contact lenses in, I have to wash my hands immediately after putting it on, or else be blinded by my own sunblock. And, of course, it's waterproof, so the washing of the hands is something of an ordeal in itself when on a beach with plenty of water but no soap around.
So, I try hard to avoid situations where I might have to wear it, either by hiding indoors when the sun is about, or by wearing black from head to foot, thus not having to wear it. But, as we know, at the last competition I got badly sunburnt.
(Keen readers of this blog will have noted a comment in an earlier post about a "The One Show"/sunblock rant. That was it there.)
Anyway, Saturday was a gloriously sunny day, which I therefore spent indoors, venturing out only twice, to wash the car and to mow the lawn. (I would have been meeting friends for WFRP, but that got cancelled.)
Sunday downed bright and sunny, and I woke early to get ready for the competition. After my morning shower, I proceeded to apply a sixth of a bottle of suncream to face, neck, shoulders, arms and knees. Then I thoroughly washed my hands (on account of having contacts in), and put my uniform on. I packed a bag for the day, and left the house (cunningly leaving my wallet behind, but in the event I didn't need any money, so that was okay).
En route to the bus, I met a guy who lives across the road, who commented that it was a nice day for it. Anyone care to guess what happened next?
Anyway, the trip to Markinch was okay but rather uncomfortable. Bus trips are never nice when it's too hot. We got there, hung around for a while, and then left the bus to go to the tuning area.
At this point, it started to rain, lightly at first and then heavily. Oh, yes, having gone to the trouble of applying sunblock, I proceeded to get rained on.
But the story gets even more amusing. See, rain not being an unknown phenomenon in Scotland, we have invested in long waterproof capes. These are highly effective at keeping the rain off. And, having had it drilled into me quite thoroughly when I was ten, I take the cape with me whenever I'm out at the band, even if the sun is blazing. So, I had packed the cape in my bag in the morning. Huzzah!
It was back in the bus.
We took cover under a passing tree, and completed tuning up. We were ready.
The band went on to perform really badly, rather worse than the previous competition in Dunbar. Basically, we started far too quickly, and although the rest of the tune was then played correctly, it was just far too fast, and there was nothing we could do to fix that. There was additionally the 'bad blowing' problem that has been our bane for years, which occurs when people don't keep sufficient pressure on the bag, causing notes to drift up and down.
So, we came off the park, and the pipe major gathered the band, livid at the performance. He proceeded to enquire just what we were playing at (not in quite those words, right enough). We then returned to the bus, and an uncomfortable wait for the march-past, and the results ceremony. (We came last of course. That's not really a factor in the rest of the story.)
A couple of hours later, the rain having ceased, I went for a wander. On returning to the bus, I found the pipe major standing just outside the bus talking to the mother of one of our pipers. I found this most curious, since said mother had not actually travelled with us. Something was going on.
Still, not wanting to be nosy, I proceeded into the bus, to hear the speculations.
In the event, it turned out that my first instinct was correct. The girl in question (or perhaps her brother) had taken exception to the pipe major's comments, and called her mother. Said parent proceeded to drive up to Markinch to collect her children, and to tell the pipe major just what she thought of him. At this time, it seems likely that the girl will be leaving the band as a consequence of this. (There is some speculation that the mother wanted her to leave anyway, in order to move her to a bigger/more successful band. This may be true, but begs the question: why not just go? It's not like we have any hold on her.)
So, thoughts...
- I'm still not sure whether it is better to play your very best, and still come last, or whether it's better to play far worse than you'd hoped, and thus let yourself down.
- I still really hate pipe band politics. They're killing this band.
- I agree with what the pipe major said, and the terms in which he said it. I perhaps would have waited until tonight, however. I'm also not sure how much longer he's going to be able to continue in the role - things just don't seem to be going right.
- Spare me psycho mothers.
The next competition isn't for six weeks. I don't think I care.
5 comments:
Well I hope that you all get it together and play fabulously for your next competition in 6 weeks. Or look for another band!
I think parents get too involved in their children's lives these days. We call them hover parents here, as they hover like helicopters. We get it at the college, the parents of the students thinking that they have to be there for every advisement, every meeting with their child and even though their child is a screw up, they insist on telling our staff and faculty what they are doing wrong. They need to hover off!
Surely not!?!
Aren't American college students around eighteen? As in, old enough to join the army and go die for their country (or appropriate corporate interest), drive, have sex (provided their partner is similarly foolish and unprepared) and consequently have children of their own, vote, and so forth. But not drink a beer, because that will lead to a life of dissolute debauchery, of course.
Anyway, never mind. The 'fun' thing about hover parents is that in trying to arrange everything just so for their children, they actually manage to stand in their kids way. Good work, there!
(Not sure any of this applies to the mother of the girl in my band, right enough. When the child is pre-teen, matters are a touch different.)
Steve,
you are one of the (although it pains me to say it) vaguely intelligent people in the world.
You also commented in your last post that you know that all these "eat 5 a day" style targets are just mass-marketing nonsense designed to make stupid people move in a generally useful direction, but aren't really necessary as absolute targets for intelligent people (OK, I've paraphrased slightly).
Why then do you slavishly stick to them? The first thing should mean that you're impervious to the second. What you should do, surely, is realise that the message that they are putting over is "use plenty of sun cream" and do just that, based on your prior experience and intelligent judgement?
Furthermore, are you sure that the message is intended for people who are exposed to the sun in the UK, and not for people travelling to really hot places, like the Maldives?
Or am I missing something?
I'll just note four things:
1) I put sunblock on in the morning, and then didn't re-apply any later. Indeed, I didn't take the bottle with me, so could not have re-applied any, even if it had not been raining. That I had my contact lenses in had only marginal bearing on this. So, I didn't exactly adhere to the advice slavishly.
2) I actually neither weighed nor measured the amount of sunblock I put on. It looked like it might have been a sixth of a bottle, but it might well not have been.
3) Actually, sunburn (and, more importantly, skin cancers) are caused by the UV concentration in sunlight, rather than the 'hotness' of the sun. The UV concentration is determined in large part by the thickness of the ozone layer (and the air generally), which is actually thinner up North than closer to the equator.
So, sunblock is actually more necessary in Scotland (or at the top of a mountain) than on a beach in the Maldives.
4) There is a slight difference between a guideline of "eat 5 a day as it will make you slightly healthier" and "apply lots of suncream so you don't get cancer and die". In any event, the reason for the "sixth of a bottle" guideline is not about the thickness of the cover, but rather the consistency of the cover. On "The One Show" they had their test bloke put on sunblock laced with flourescent dye, and showed that he had left large areas of his back, around his ears, and on his jawline completely uncovered. This, in fact, is even more dangerous than not putting sunblock on at all - as the illusion of safety can lead to greater exposure than the knowledge of lacking protection.
So there!
Sunblock is very important indeed! I make Ned wear it all the time because I don't think people take this seriously enough.
Anyway, back to hover parents. Yes, college age kids are 18+ here and while they are old enough to do many things, they don't allow them to drink which is stupid. But when I worked for a company that specifically hired 18-23 year olds (not age discrimination, honest your honor!), we had some mothers of the 23 year olds that would cause such a fuss about their "baby", it was embarrassing! Anyway, I am watching and trying to learn, as in I hope that when Ned reaches the age of 16, I will back off and let him learn lessons the hard way, use his own judgment no matter how poor I think it is (unless it involves highway robbery, drug use, impregnating as many girls as possible etc)and hope that all the values I have instilled in him from birth on will fall into place and he will put them to good use! I remember being out of school at 16, working and going to college and making my own decisions! These kids today here are pampered,it is unbelievable. And now I sound like a right old moaning bag talking about the youth of today!
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