Friday, November 15, 2019

My "Rise of Skywalker" Theory

When the title was announced, the internet collectively decided that there clearly must be a successor order to the Jedi and that "Skywalker" must either be the name of the organisation or the title of the Grand Master. Of course, since that was the obvious interpretation, it must surely be wrong.

My working theory is that "Skywalker" refers to something else.

Basically, at the end of the film I expect them to conclude that the war will never end, and that the galaxy will always be in strife. So they load up R2-D2 with the records of their exploits, and then he and C-3P0 are bundled up in a glorified intergalactic escape pod. Thus the series ends where it begins, with those two going on a great walk through the sky.

Of course, after a long time R2 makes it all the way from a galaxy far far away, to end up crash landing on an unremarkable green-blue planet in the outer spiral arm of another galaxy. There, he is found by a young man, the son of a stationary store owner, named "George". The film, and the series, ends with R2 telling him all of the stories from a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...

(They'll get bonus points if they can somehow work a way to cast James Earl Jones as some family friend. A beloved 'uncle' Ben, perhaps?)

I should note: if it does all end like that, I'll get up and walk out.

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