Nadir

One of the great advantages of the various subscription services is that they open up a back-catalogue of films that I missed for various reasons, and never quite felt I could justify getting on DVD. On the other hand, one of the great perils of this is that you can get sucked into watching a film out of a sense of completeness, despite knowing going in that it's going to suck.

"Transformers: The Last Knight" is the worst film I have ever forced myself to sit through. Indeed, it's worse than any of the turgid nonsense that I've started but abandoned halfway through. It is a masterpiece of awfulness.

Hell, it doesn't even qualify as "so bad it's good" - to achieve that it needs to be laughably awful, but this film is so po-faced and deadly serious that it's almost impossible to find levity. (Although the bit where it is revealed that Stonehenge was at the dead centre of Pangaea did raise a derisory laugh.)

I would suggest that this abomination is an insult to my childhood, but "Dark of the Moon" thoroughly salted that earth. So instead I'll note that it is an insult to my fond memories of Patrick Dempsey's oh-so-nuanced performance in that comparitive masterpiece.

All that said, I did have a little grudging technical admiration for it: surely it takes a very special kind of genius to produce a film so abjectly terrible on every level? And that did leave the film with one, miniscule, redeeming feature - it ends with a mid-credits scene that promises yet more to come. Can even they produce a film yet worse that this? Perhaps not, but they must try!

Unfortunately, it turns out that "Transformers 6: You Thought the Last One Sucked" has been cancelled due to audiences finally coming to their senses. Which means we'll never know.