File this one under "things you don't expect", along with the Spanish Inquisition:
On the front cover of the Metro free newspaper there was the ultimate headline: "Zombie Epidemic". I read on with a mixture of trepidation and delight - should I get a shotgun and Queen, or was this about a new film being produced in Scotland?
It turned out the answer was neither. Apparently, the women of Scotland are abusing tranquilisers and sedatives in large numbers.
I don't think I've ever been so disappointed that the apolcalypse isn't upon us.