Thursday, October 20, 2005

Shopping and Consumerism

Since my post of two weeks ago, hundreds of people have asked me whether or not you get extra points for parking closer to the entrance of the store. (Okay, that's a lie. No-one has asked. But, if someone were to ask, I expect that is what they would ask.)

Anyway, the answer is no, you do not get extra points for parking close to the store, at least in the British version of Shopping. However, it is worth noting that there is a similar but distinct game wherein one does gain extra points for just this trick. I refer, of course, to the American sport of Consumerism.

On the surface, Shopping and Consumerism share many similarities. However, the underlying rules of the game are quite different. For one thing, Consumerism is a far more serious sport, wherein many people each year are taken to hospital with serious injuries (usually in a clash over the 'must-have' toy for Christmas). Indeed, things have become so bad that the referees of the game, known as Wal-Marts, have taken to issuing all consumers with body armour (sorry, armor), the better to protect them. Additionally, all manner of weaponry can be found secreted throughout the stores (or, for the truly dedicated, the more advanced malls), for the use of Consumers in recreating the film Battle Royale.

Or so I've heard.

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