Stephen's Guide to Surviving the Long Journey

Most of my life is run according to a bunch of rules I've developed over time. These rules tend to be an accumulated set of "simple tricks and nonsense" that happen to work. That being the case, I shall now provide you with my guide to surviving a long journey.

Firstly, one must ask what exactly constitutes a long journey? After all, some of these rules are quite limiting, so you don't really want to apply them when driving to the local shop. In my opinion, a long journey is any journey that takes more than half a working day to complete, end to end. So, anything more than four hours. Time spent waiting in the airport counts towards this total, so most air journeys are long almost by definition (though if you can circumvent the 2 hour check-in times, they need not be).

Anyway, as with everything else, a successful long journey requires action before, during and after the journey (but Stephen, you ask, how can events after the journey ends have a bearing on the success of the journey? Isn't that just daft? Read on...)

Before the journey, what is required is methodical preparation. To ease the journey, you should always pack beforehand. Packing is best done by first gathering all the things that you need to a central location (I use my bed), then placing them methodically into the bags or cases to be used. Since packing is generally best done the night before the journey, there will be some few things that cannot be packed initially. These should be left close to the packed case, and then added in the morning once they are all no longer required. Do not pack the last few things one at a time - that just slows the whole process.

In general, packing is done starting with the biggest and most awkward things, and progressing to the smaller and softer items. Underwear, in particular, should be packed last as it can be used as 'padding' for the rest. You should always pack one or two empty carrier bags for general use at your destination.

To ensure you pack everything you need, you should go through each room in your home in turn, and check if there's anything you need. Don't miss rooms, and don't revisit rooms until they're all done. Once you've finished packing, do another sweep. Anything you miss on the second sweep you'll just have to manage without. (There are actually surprisingly few things that are absolutely needed on any trip. In general, most things are nice to have, but can be replaced in extremis.)

Once the things you need are gathered, they must be checked to fall into categories: things you need (passport, tickets), things you probably won't use but absolutely have to have just in case (insurance documents), things you don't need but will definately use (book), things you don't need but really want with you (camera), and things you definately won't use (knitting). Ditch anything in the last category. Then, ditch anything in the don't need categories until you're within the limits of what you can take.

If you're taking more than one bag, split the items into piles for each bag before putting anything into any bag. Then pack the bags seperately. This is the quickest and most efficient way to proceed. If your journey includes an overnight stay, ensure everything you need for that stay is in one, small bag. That way, you don't need to open any other bag in the middle of the journey.

If using a car, several smaller bags are better than one big bag. If flying, you have to stick to the limits allowed by the airline. However, remember that you can carry additional things onto the plane in the pockets of your jacket.

Immediately before you depart the house, have a shower and change your clothes. And wear something that's loose enough, and no warmer than is actually required. Bear in mind that most journeys become hotter and more stuffy as they go. You don't want to be too cold, but otherwise you want to be as cool as possible. Wearing layers is a good idea, as it allows you to gradually peel as you go.

If flying, carry a packet of mints. If using a car, car sweets are one of the few delights of the long journey. Either helps. (One of the big problems of the long journey is dehydration. However, you don't want to drink a lot, as airplane toilets aren't exactly pleasant, and every stop in a car just makes the journey longer.)

During the journey, the key is comfort. Finding comfort depends a great deal on the method of travel.

When travelling by car, one of the key issues is space. For a long journey, a normal car can carry no more than three adults - a driver, a passenger, and someone sitting behind the passenger. The driver cannot have someone sitting behind them, as they require the freedom to move their seat freely, which might make the person behind unable to become comfortable.
Pack the car carefully, such that the only luggage that is in the compartment with the passengers are the overnight bags, or are pillows. If absolutely necessary, this rule can be ignored, but then that's true of all these rules.

Take jackets off before getting into the car. And, unless you're driving immediately loosen (but don't remove) footwear (yet another advantage of changing your socks before leaving the house, you'll notice).

And you're off. Drive as fast as road conditions allow, and stop as infrequently as you can. The journey won't really be pleasant, no matter what you do, so make it as short as you can. Choice of music needs to be in the hands of the driver, and should ideally be something that they can sing along to. For fast driving, a nice strong beat is generally best, although when you hit traffic jams you should switch to something relaxing.

On a plane, you're a bit more constrained. Where possible, you should seek a seat near an emergency exit, as these have the most legroom. Otherwise, there's a tradeoff between the aisle (with more legroom) and the window (with natural light). On a plane it is especially important to loosen your shoes, and here it's actually best to remove them if your feet don't smell. Feet expand at altitude, so you really don't want tight shoes on.

Due to the risk of sitting still for too long, especially at altitude, it is important on a plane to get up and move around on a roughly hourly basis. If for no other reason, an aisle seat is probably preferable on long journeys. However, those who are scared of flying will probably be more comfortable by the window.

If you can sleep during your journey, do so. Personally, I find it impossible to fall asleep when the sun's in the sky, and I find it nigh-on impossible to sleep while in transit.

Now, after the journey...

After a long journey, you should really spend a few minutes stretching, to get all the stiffness out. You should take off your shoes and socks, ball up your toes, and walk on a carpet, and you should take things easy for a couple of hours to release the tension of the journey.

Finally, change your clothes again, but keep those clothes seperate from your other dirty washing. When the return journey comes (if there is one), wear those same clothes again. Don't wear them at other times in between. That way, those clothes are psychologically associated with the journeys, and the rest of the clothes you packed are psychologically 'clean'.

And there it is, Stephen's Guide to Surviving the Long Journey.