Khaaaaan!

As I've mentioned before, I've been having problems with my broadband provider since I moved into my appartment two months ago. Those problems seem to be nearing an end, but are also getting more intense with each passing moment. The time has come to name and shame the parties responsible.

I moved in on the 2nd of May. I ordered a line relocation at that time. Ten days later, BT activated the line, as evidenced by my broadband router sprining to life. However, I had no connection due to some unknown fault.

I sent an email to tech support on that day. I got an automated response saying someone was looking into it, and please don't contact them again as that would just move me back to the end of the queue. Silly me, I believed them.

A week later, three weeks after the move-in, I gave up on waiting, and started calling. Now, my ISP had a premium-rate phone line for tech support, at £1 a minute. That was my first port of call. However, that line said they were experiencing a very high volume of calls, and I'd be going into a queue. At £1 a minute, that wasn't happening. (Had I been certain one call there would fix the problem, I would have paid the money and had done with it, but I had no such assurance.)

So I called customer services, fully expecting to be told that they couldn't help me on that number, and kinda hoping they would so I had an excuse to blow my top at them. (This was also when Sky were messing me around, so I was spoiling for a fight.) However, that didn't happen - the customer services agent seemed quite helpful, and had me trying a few things. It emerged that my username had been changed without them telling me, but my initial hope that that would fix the issue was dashed. The end result was that the guy said he would raise a line fault with BT, and call be back on the next working day with an update.

The following Friday, I called again (I could only call on Fridays, as they were only open during office hours, and I work for a living. I get to leave early on Fridays.). I spoke to another person, who had me try a few more things, to no avail, and then promised to speak to the first agent, and call me back on the next working day with an update.

The following week I called again, incensed at having had the promise broken twice. This time, I was told that BT had marked the fault closed, but they'd reopen it, and call me back on the Monday with an update.

And so it went on. All these calls featured long times on hold, at a cost of 7.5 pence per minute. I dread to think what my next phone bill is going to be like.

The week before last, I had Thursday off, so I called again. This time, I spoke to someone who claimed to be the engineer dealing with the problem. He said that BT had been letting them down, that they'd just started reporting faults differently, and that he'd open the fault again and, you guessed it, call me back with an update. He even started the conversation with, "you'll never believe me, but I was going to call you tomorrow with an update." Yep, he was right about that. Anyway, I was finally in a position to tell them that if there wasn't any progress in the next seven days, and if he didn't call with the promised update, then when I called back on Friday it would be to demand an exit code and a refund. (I had previously sent emails and left answering machine messages to that effect, but I'm very certain no-one at that excuse for a company ever looked at such things.)

On Friday I was on hold for 23 minutes waiting to speak to someone before I was mysteriously cut off. Thereafter, the line remained permanently busy. My dial-up connection, which I'd been using as a back-up, was also dead. I had no internet connection at all over the weekend.

Yesterday, en route to church, I dropped in at home and checked the status of the ISP I'm with, only to discover that they're out of business. Which I'm frankly glad of - I'm willing to lose out on the refund that I should be getting just to get shot of these cowboys. Another company have started advertising on their webpage, offering to pick up the baton for customers of this lot. Frankly, there's no way in hell I'm going down that route - henceforth I'm dealing only with the big reliable companies, and never mind the cost.

Anyway, the first step in getting a new ISP is to have my line released. So, I this morning I started on that path. Step 1: I called BT and asked them what the options were. The answer: none. They simply refused to even consider removing the tag. I needed to speak to my ISP. But what if they don't exist any more? Speak to Ofcom. But what if the previous resident (who died) had had access - how would I get that removed? Again, speak to Ofcom.

Step 2: Call Ofcom. This resulted in being placed in a queue. On my mobile phone, that's not an option.

Step 3: Have someone else call Ofcom. The result was an automated message that they're aware of the problem and currently looking into it. Which is utterly useless.

Step 4: Back to the same forum where I learned about the demise of my ISP. Finally, some information! The previous ISP is gone, totally and utterly - forget about getting a MAC code from them (or a refund). The wholesaler have denied all responsibility. The company who are picking up the pieces can;t help - they don't have direct access to the database, so can't give out MAC codes. The only way forward is to sign up for their contract of services. The phrase "no way in hell" springs to mind.

So, what happens if I don't sign up? Well, apparently the tag will be removed on the 14th. Why then? Dunno. (And, incidentally, there's currently no guarantee that it actually will be removed on that date.) Once the tag is removed, assuming that actually happens, there will then be up to ten days waiting for a new tag to be placed by a new broadband provider.

The eventual result of all of this is that I will now have absolutely no internet connection from home for at least three weeks (actually, considerably longer). Even when I finally do get something sorted out, there's still probably the issue I was having before this fiasco started, which means a further delay. To say I'm furious would be a massive understatement.

I said it was time to name and shame the people responsible. The ISP I was with, who so badly dropped the ball on this connection thing, were e7even. They're now dead and gone, and good riddance. The wholesaler from whom they got access are Tiscali. This is the company I now hold responsible for freeing my line, as they are the only ones who can do so, or so it would seem. That they have not done so, and that they are trying to deny all responsibility, adds them to the list of companies I won't ever do business with again (the previous entrant on that list was Safeway - and notice that they no longer exist by that name!). The company who are trying to hoover up e7even's customers are EzeeDSL. I won't ever be doing business with them, either.
So, I'm looking for a good ISP. I don't really want any fancy bells and whistles - I'll handle my own anti-virus protection, and don't need parental controls (even if I had kids, I don't believe in them). I just want a good, reliable connection, at the fastest available speed. Obviously, a cheaper connection would be good, but I'd rather pay more for quality than be burned again. Oh, and I'd rather have an unmetered connection, but failing that need a fairly hefty monthly allowance. Any suggestions?

(Actually, I'm thinking of just going with BT, on the grounds that they also control the physical line, which has to be an advantage. Plus, if there is a fault on the line, it's only one company to deal with rather than two.)