The Lasagne Principle

One of the big mistakes my parents have made (especially in their old kitchen), and a mistake that LC and I had crept into in the flat, concerned the kitchen: the kitchen is probably the hardest-working room in the house, but we'd managed to fill it up with huge amounts of stuff that basically never got used. In our case, it was a huge number of mugs that we (well, I) don't want to get rid of, but which do nothing but take up a lot of space.

The kitchen in the house is actually smaller than the one in the flat. However, I'm determined that it will have more usable space, largely by adopting what I'm dubbing "The Lasagne Principle".

The principle is fairly straight-forward: anything that doesn't get used pretty frequently must be stored somewhere else. For the moment, I don't care if that's the garage, the utility room, on the dining table, or whatever else - just get it out of my kitchen.

As for "The Lasagne Principle": we have a lasagne dish that gets used somewhat infrequently - basically, every time I make a lasagne al forno, which isn't terribly often (maybe once or twice a year). That will be our cut-off point - if something is used at least as often as the lasagne dish, it can stay; if not, it needs to go.

(All that said, it looks like the Lasagne Principle is about to fail at the first hurdle - the net effect of this is that we'll have huge amounts of kitchen equipment that has been banished and a fairly large amount of unused storage space in the kitchen! So maybe the cut-off point will end up being eased a little... though "The Slow-Cooker Principle" just isn't as catchy...)

North Berwick and Bridge of Allan Highland Games 2017

In the competition season, there always seem to be a few weekends where we have two competitions in one weekend (and, more commonly, a gala day and a competition). I always hate those weekends - it doesn't feel like you get a weekend at all. So, naturally, this year saw the one and only two-competition weekend falling on the weekend of the house move. (Of course, I didn't think I could just opt out - we have the World Championships on Saturday, so really need to be pushing things hard for the next few days.)

In both cases, I went to the event, played, and then rushed away to do other things. In both cases this was a wise decision, as the march-past was cancelled each time. On the other hand, given the performances (and results), I needn't have bothered.

At North Berwick, our preparations were broken up significantly by us constantly being moved - while mid-way through tuning up we were told we were standing where cars were going to park imminently... and then the stewards kept telling us "you can't play there". Which sucked.

Still, that wasn't the real issue. Once again, we thought we were good to go, only to get to the line and have a bad start. After that it was mostly fine, but that bad start was enough to force us out of the prize list.

Out of 17 bands in Grade 4B, we were 5th overall (5th and 6th for piping, 5th for drumming, and 3rd for ensemble). Given the size of the competition, we were not able to play up at that event.

Bridge of Allan seemed to be a much more pleasant prospect, in that our preparation was uninterrupted. Still, we found a lot of people were having problems with drones due to the moisture, while I found my hands cramped up due to the cold (which was not fun).

Unfortunately, both of these performances were just bad from start to finish. There's no one thing to point at - it was just a bad day of work.

In the Grade 4B contest we were 9th out of 16 bands (8th and 12th for piping, 2nd for drumming, and 8th for ensemble). In the Grade 4A contest we were again 9th, this time out of 12 bands (7th and 7th for piping, 8th for drumming, and 12th for ensemble).

All in all, a poor showing for our work, and perhaps the worst possible preparation for the World Championships on Saturday. And given that we were already going more in hope than expectation, that does not look too good.

Oh well. Three to go - and 32 days until the end of the season.

The Best Line in a Bad Film

The 2011 version of "The Three Musketeers" (the version with the airships) is not a good film by any stretch of the imagination. I found it highly entertaining, but I certainly wouldn't call it 'good'. (That said, the makers of musketeer movies are always up against it - the Reed/York version is definitive.)

Anyway, much as it's not a good film, that version does have a number of good lines. IMO, the best of these is from Cardinal Richelieu as he finds Rochefort practicing his swordsmanship:

"The wonderful thing about fighting an imaginary opponent, Captain Rochefort, is that he is always greatly skilled, yet easily defeated."

I can't think why the latest book I've finished reminds me so strongly of that particular comment...

#38: "The Power", by Naomi Alderman (dear oh dear...)

Project Tadpole is a Go!

We're still waiting for the house sale to complete, after which I will post at great length about how that all went down (the post is just about written, and it's an epic, but I'm sure there's still time for a couple more twists...)

Anyway, in the meantime there's the other big news in the world of Steph/ven and Lady Chocolat. Which, incidentally, is also why we're currently in Part Four (and a Half) and will remain so for the next few months:

We've known about this for a few weeks, but obviously couldn't share it here until we'd informed family first. Also, we wanted to have the twelve-week scan first. That scan was on Tuesday, and so now we can share the news. It's pretty exciting!

Fast Food and Cheap Food

Today in the Observer, there's an article suggesting that we should rename "fast food" as "cheap food", thus better identifying why it is that people buy it. The comments on the article, predictably, note that fast food is in fact not cheap, and that instead it is cheaper to cook the same meal at home.

The thing is, both of these things are true, indeed are true simultaneously. It is indeed true that fast food is not all that cheap, and that it would be far cheaper to buy all the ingredients and make the meal yourself... if you're starting from a position of knowing how to do all that and having all of the requisite equipment in your kitchen. From a standing start, though, it's much cheaper to spend £5 on a McDonalds, or indeed £20 on a McDonalds for four, than it is to buy everything you need to equip a kitchen to make yourself burgers and chips.

In the long run, of course, it's far better, and cheaper, to make the investment in a reasonable set of kitchen equipment, learn to cook, and then produce most of your own meals cheaply, quickly, and healthily.

Which, of course, brings us back to the Sam Vimes "Boots" Theory of Socio-economic Unfairness - having the time, knowledge, and equipment needed to cook all your own meals at home requires an investment that the rich can make easily while the poor cannot, which means that the rich person gets to eat home-cooked meals most days. Those meals are typically better quality and tastier, meaning that the rich get to enjoy their food more and live longer, healthier lives.

And the poor get to enjoy the privilege of paying more for this lower quality of life (measured over a lifetime).

Perhaps the worst part of all that comes when you ask the reasonable question: "how do we fix this"? Because, sadly, the answer is "we can't". The sad reality is that the rich will always have the ability to make strategic investments that allow them to (a) enjoy a higher quality of life and (b) pay less in the long run.

(In the case of cooking meals, we can at least make a few inroads - we could prioritize the preparation of food as schools, thus ensure everyone leaves at least knowing how to knock up a few cheap and healthy means, and we could insist that all houses that are built and/or properties for rent must have adequate facilities. That would at least reduce the inequality a little... but it does nothing any of the other examples.)

Ultimately, those inequalities are probably just inherent in a capitalist society.

Although... it's always worth bearing in mind that even if all we can do is nibble around the edges of the problem, it's still probably a good thing to do that - the result might not be much, but at least it is something.

The Scottish Pipe Band Championships

According to our former MP, Eric Joyce, Falkirk is the constituency in Scotland that most closely resembles the country as a whole - that is, in terms of demographics and economics, we're proportionately as close to the whole of the country as anywhere. That being the case, it's probably fitting that Camelon & District, being a Falkirk-based band, so closely resemble Scotland as a whole's sporting prowess - typically oscillating between humiliating disaster and the most narrow, painful defeat, with the occasional minor success, just to keep the flame of hope painfully flickering...

Yesterday was the Scottish Pipe Band Championships, and it was another of our narrow, painful defeats. Following the Europeans, we had put in a lot of hard work to adjust our style and to tighten things up. And following our successes last week, we were confident of a success. Of course, it being a major championship there was a need for us to pass a qualifying round, but with 6 bands out of 14 going through, surely that couldn't be a problem, could it?

Well, I think we know the answer to that one!

Actually, I didn't think the performance was particularly bad - it seemed to be at a nice tempo, it seemed to start pretty well, and all in all I thought it was okay. Though many of the other people in the band didn't seem to think so - when we came off the mood was pretty depressed.

In the end, we were 7th out of 14, missing qualification by a single place. We were 9th and 7th in piping, 3rd in drumming, and 8th for ensemble. (That said, although this sounds like a narrow defeat, it's not all that narrow - that gives us 27 points, where the bands that were fifth and sixth scored 21 each. So we would have had to be significantly better to nudge one of them out.)

The one mote of good news in that was that our failure to qualify meant that I was able to head home early, and so avoided a fairly cold and unpleasant afternoon. But that's scant comfort - I would much rather have been there.

Oh well. Five competitions to go to the end of the season, including one major. Alas, there's little chance of us qualifying at the Worlds, given that only four of twenty bands go through. But that's okay - gives us a chance just to enjoy the remaining few weeks.

#37: "Matter", by Iain M. Banks

Stay on Target...

We've moved another step along the road to finally completing the epic of the house move... our mortgage offer finally arrived in the post today. (We'd received verbal notice that it had been approved on Friday, but my position through all of this is now that I won't believe something is well and truly done until I see it...) We need to check it over, just in case of any nasty surprises, and then I think we can conclude the missives, and then transfer the money, and then...

But the timescales are now becoming ever-more concerning. There are now only a few days before we pass a threshold beyond which it's not possible to finish all the paperwork in time. And, of course, there's the ever-present threat that something may yet go wrong...

Needless to say, I'm getting a bit twitchy!

Still, that's another positive step. With a lot of luck, we're now just eleven days from the end of the road. But I'll celebrate then, and not until!

Burntisland Pipe Band Contest 2017

The pipe band season restarted this weekend with a trip to Burntisland. It was cold, wet, and miserable... but also surprisingly successful.

Our day began early - following the debacle at Forres our Pipe Major decided the thing to do was to travel over early and have a very long preparation. Unfortunately, this did not go to plan as the rain meant that spending a long time tuning up would ruin the pipes (until they then dried out, at least), so we instead hid within our gazebo until the last minute.

Anyway, we played, and it was... okay. But no better than okay. We actually started really well, but the phrasing in the third tune seemed to go (classic mistake, that), and bad blowing crept in as we went on. So, many of the things we'd been being told about all season. Still, it wasn't terrible - just a shame that we know we can do better.

Then we waited for the 4A contest, in which we were first. Again, we had an extremely curtailed preparation, and then on. This was a little better, mostly, although my fingers decided to cramp up half way through the last tune, which wasn't good. Still, it wasn't terrible.

And then there was a lot of waiting. In the event, the organisers decided to scrap their planned parade through the town, and instead have a very short prize-giving at three. I can't say I was sorry about the chance to get home, and get warm, rather sooner than expected... but I did feel bad for the organisers who had clearly put in a lot of effort, and spent a lot of money, only to see it washed out.

Anyway...

Our drum major did exceptionally well, coming 2nd (out of five). Even better, not only was the one person who beat her the current reigning World Champion, but he's also not really in her grade at all - in the minor contests the Juniors and Juveniles are merged together, with our drum major being in the Juniors and the other being in the Juveniles. So that was good.

Then, in Grade 4B (our grade) we came first! Yep, our first outright win in a very, very long time. (And, since LC felt the need to ask, it was out of six bands.) We came 1st (!) and 2nd in piping, 1st (!) in drumming, and 1st (!) for ensemble. Oh, and we also won an award for the best bass section in the contest. Huzzah!

In Grade 4A, we came... first! This time it was out of five bands, two of which were 4B bands playing up, and three were grade 4A bands. So that was quite a result. This time, we were 1st (!) and 2nd for piping, 2nd for drumming, and 1st (!) for ensemble, making this one of very few times that the pipers have helped elevate the band's overall position - usually, it is the drummers carrying the rest of us.

So, yeah, that was a rather decent result!

Next week is the third of our four Majors of the year, being the Scottish Championships at Dumbarton. That's another one where we have to qualify before the final, with six out of sixteen bands in each qualifying group going through. That's a big ask, but if we get a good run this week, and if the band has been lifted by this result (as it should be), then maybe...

Certainly, it's all looking a lot more positive than it was after Forres.

Our Last Bit of Extra Time

It's quite a thing to think that Terry Pratchett has been gone two years. Of course, part of that is that being dead seems to have barely slowed him down - in those two years we've seen the release of the final Discworld novel, two "Long Earth" novels, and two short story collections.

But, alas, today was the end. I finished up the last of eight Pratchetts I've read since 2015, "The Witch's Vacuum Cleaner", a few minutes ago. And there is no more. It was a good book to end on... but it's still sad to think that there is no more to be had.

I did actually consider stopping just short, and perhaps refusing to turn that last page entirely. But I'm a great believer in the notion that it will be all right in the end (and if it's not all right now, that's because it's not yet the end). So I turned the last page, and came to an end. And it was, indeed, all right.

Still, as I wrote once before: Ook!

Thank you Sir Pterry. It's been fun.

#36: "The Witch's Vacuum Cleaner", by Terry Pratchett

Day 200: Update on Goals

And so we reach Day 200...

• Weight: Nothing to report here. Our scales are currently packed away in storage, so there will be no news until we get to where we're going!
• Books: By day 200 I should have read 32.9 books, so I'm in a good position here. As noted in my previous update, I've had to rejig my reading pattern somewhat to reflect the "Pathfinder Tales" line being put on hiatus, but the rest of the sublists are proceeding apace, and I've added more "New Books" to fill out the total. My expectation for this year is to be very close to the 60-book target, rather than well over it as was the case last year.
• Super Secret Goal #4: We moved out of the flat at the start of July, and are due to move into the new house on the 4th of August (just in time for LC to be out of the country). So, by the time of the next update I expect to be able to report the completion of this goal. I'm very much looking forward to this all, finally, being done.
• Part Five: The House: This remains on hold, though hopefully not for much longer.
• Part Five: Church: Likewise, this remains on hold.
• Part Five: Band: The second half of the competition season is about to start. My decision is now made - I'm going to see out the rest of the season and then leave at the AGM. I'm not inclined to go seek out a new band to join, at least for the foreseeable future - I'm inclined instead to play purely for my own enjoyment for the next little while.
• Part Five: Gaming: This remains on hold.
• Super Secret Goal #5: As noted earlier in the year, I decided not to pursue this goal, taking a different direction instead.

So... things are finally moving on the housing front, which is fantastic news and a huge relief. My hope is that for the next update I'll be able to report the completion of that goal, and solid progress on the four linked goals.

On the other goals, things continue to go well with the books goal, but are going badly on the weight goal. So I guess I know what my priority is for the next little while... though I've said that before.

#35: "Pathfinder: Prisoners of the Blight", by Amanda Hamon Kunz

Well Done BBC (not)

There are few things I dislike more than pre-announcements. If you have something to say to us, please just say it. If not, don't bother telling us that you don't have anything to say.

But one of the few things that I do dislike more than just pre-announcements are vague pre-announcements. Such as, just to give a completely random example, "we're going to announce the new Doctor directly after the Men's final at Wimbledon" - an event that might take anywhere between 2 and 24 hours to complete. So, effectively, you're telling us that you don't have anything to tell us, but that you will have something to tell us at some indeterminate time in the future... and you can't tell us that, either.

Grr.

Anyway, as it happens I don't mind watching the Wimbledon final, or at least the last bit - usually, it's a pretty good match between two superb athletes at the top of their game. Granted, it wasn't so good this year, as poor Marin Cilic was carrying an injury that meant he couldn't perform to his best. A real shame, but nothing can be done about it.

So Federer won, and well done to him - he's perhaps the single greatest tennis player in history, he's still one of the very best, and he's a fine champion.

And that, right there, is about all there really is to say about the match. Because it wasn't a classic for good, albeit sad, reasons, but Federer is a fine champion. Right, on to the announcement, yes?

Alas, no. Because the BBC felt the need to then spend 30 minutes giving us a content-free analysis of the match, of Federer's legacy, and other endless waffle about nothing. And, I'm sorry, but it was waffle about nothing - basically, everything they said about Federer was something they'd already said about Federer last time he won Wimbledon, as has happened plenty of times - he's just that good.

(I particularly enjoyed Tim Henman's analysis of why Cilic went wrong - his argument being that the emotions just got on top of him. Um, okay. The small problem being that that wasn't why Cilic lost. Shockingly, he lost because he was carrying an injury while playing the best player there has ever been.)

The upshot of all of this is that by the time the BBC finally got around to passing on their big news I just didn't care any more. Which I'm assuming wasn't what they were shooting for. (I'm guessing they'll probably put that down to the emotions getting on top of their trailer-making team. Since it was obviously that, and not their endless waffle about nothing, that caused the problem. Or something.)

Oh, as for the announcement itself: I'm sure Jodie Whittaker will do a fine job in the role. I'm not conscious of having actually seen her in anything - I haven't seen "Broadchurch", and although I have seen most of "St Trinians" I'm not sure she stood out (plus, I'm not convinced "St Trinians" will be at the top of anyone's list of top roles). But then, I wasn't really conscious of having seen David Tennant or Matt Smith in anything prior to DW, and they both did exceptionally well.

So, that's that. Fine news rather marred by inept handling. Well done, BBC.

#34: "Bearers of the Black Staff", by Terry Brooks

The Morning Practice

For various reasons, I'm not able to practice at LC's parents' house. And my pipes need to be played every day (or very close to it) or they really start to suffer. Consequently, in a bid to solve that little conundrum, I've been taking my pipes to work and practicing first thing in the morning.

Which mostly works - I'm usually the first to arrive, and so slotting in a ten-minute practice before 8 generally means I'm not affecting anyone. At least, that's the hope.

All of which is just as well, because the noise from the pipes is loud, especially in the warehouse in which I'm practicing - normally, I use a hall with wooden flooring and rafters, or a room filled with furniture, but at the moment I'm using an empty warehouse with metal walls and fittings. There's nothing to absorb the noise, and the echoes are fierce. Indeed, once I stop playing at the end of a set it takes a second or so before the echoes die down. So even through a fairly thick wall into the office proper it must be pretty noisy... not that that matters if I'm the only one here.

This morning, though, was a bit different. One of my colleagues plays the guitar and has been rather obsessed with trying "Mull of Kintyre" for quite some time. And with my being in early to practice, he's been especially keen for the last two weeks. So this morning was, finally, the day.

Naturally, today was also the day that it seemed half the office decided to come in early, only to get subjected to us playing a tune we'd not tried before, that wasn't played terribly well, and that was repeated again, and again... and again.

Which wasn't ideal. Thus far, we've escaped the complaints. I do hope that doesn't change, because while I do have a backup backup practice location, it's even less ideal than the office first thing in the morning...

#33: "Madame Bovary", by Gustave Flaubert (a book from The List)

Some Stuff About Doctor Who

For the most part, I very much enjoyed this year's series of "Doctor Who", although I did feel that the BBC gave far too much away in their "Next Time..." segments. Overall, this was Peter Capaldi's best series, and Steven Moffat's second best (his best being the first Matt Smith year).

But I didn't like the finale. Or, rather, I didn't like the last few minutes of the finale, and particularly the resolution of Bill's story.

My issue with it is not really what happened (which was indeed foreshadowed, and did make at least a little hand-wavey sense), but rather how it was handled - Moffat pulled back in a very minor, seemingly throwaway character from the first episode, who Bill had a little bit of a crush on, and used her to magic away all the problems?

Yeah, that's not good.

For what it's worth, I think they'd have been better placed to feature Heather more prominently in the series - introduce her in episode one, have her become Bill's on/off girlfriend, and then have her become The Pilot. That gives her a stronger involvement in the story and, more importantly, an actual bond with Bill (beyond a little flirting that really goes nowhere). Plus, conveniently, it mirrors what happens to Bill just a few episodes later...

But most of the rest of the episode was fine. I very much enjoyed the interaction between the Master and Missy, and much as I'll miss the latter it was a fitting end to her story. And I'm really excited to see the First Doctor back, even if just for a little while. (Interestingly, it appears that his appearance is right at the end of his timeline, which suggests that the Christmas episode will feature the First and the Twelth both coming to terms with their impending regenerations. It does occur to me to wonder whether Susan might also make an appearance, given that the First did promise to go back to see her and, as far as I know, never has...)

Anyway, that's that.

In light of Capaldi's tenure coming to its end, I've also given a little thought to his placement in the overall scheme of things. Back in 2014 when I rated the Doctors, I placed him tenth, above only Colin Baker and Sylvester McCoy. Three years on, though, I'm inclined to rate him more highly - Capaldi's acting has undeniably been very strong, and some of the best material he has been given is very, very good. (He's also had some rather weak stuff to deal with, too, such as last year's Christmas special, but that's true of all the Doctors.)

So, I'm inclined to push him up a few notches - just above Christopher Eccleston and after Peter Davidson, making him fifth. (Had Eccleston done more than a single series, it's likely that he'd move up a notch again; it's all a bit wibbly.)

Finally, on the question of Who should be next?

Personally, I'm leaning towards Tamsin Greig as my choice, if she'd take the role. Between "Black Books" and "Green Wing", she's clearly got the comic timing and the ability to do the slightly zany character that is required. Of course, part of my reason was that she'd previously worked well with Michelle Gomez on "Green Wing", which is no longer valid, but never mind.

(Incidentally, on the topic of a female Doctor... while I don't subscribe to the notion that the new Doctor must be female (or black, ginger, etc), or even to the notion that the Doctor must ever be female (...), I equally can see no reason at all why the Doctor should not be. Unlike James Bond, the character really could be anyone, so find the best candidate and offer him or her the role.)

#31: "Pathfinder: Siege of Stone", by Thurston Hillman
#32: "The Long Cosmos", by Terry Pratchett and Stephen Baxter

The End of Part Four

By the time you read this, LC and I will have (or will be very close to having) moved out of the flat in Falkirk. I've been there a little over eight years, that being fully a fifth of my life, and LC has likewise lived here just over five years. It's also the first home that we've shared together.

It's a bit of a strange feeling, that we're now finally nearing the end of this journey. And it is a little sad... but only a little. I suspect I'd be more bothered if we'd sold the flat really quickly, rather than having to endure the last eight months or so.

I'm rather more sorry to be leaving Falkirk, which has generally served me well. But, on the other hand, I'm sure Livingston will do just as well. It's not as if I knew all that much about Falkirk before I got here.

And that's about it, really.

Except for one question: if Part Four is at an end, does this mean Part Five begins? Well, not quite. Because we're moving in with LC's parents for a time, this isn't really the start of Part Five. Rather, there's a gap between the two.

So, really, this is the start of Part Four and a Half...

See you on the flip side!

The Final 50

Last night I finished my thirtieth book of the year, which takes me to halfway through my planned reading for the year. Perhaps more significantly, the novel that I finished, "She's Come Undone" (good book, by the way), was a book from The List, taking me down to a total of 50 books remaining. (Technically, it's actually 49, as the List contains both "The Complete Works of Shakespeare" and "Hamlet". But let's not dwell on that.)

That means that, at the current rate, I should finish up the list in July of 2021.

As I've mentioned before, The List is actually made up of a merge of two other lists, one British and one American. Of the books that remain, 6 appear on both of these lists, 11 only appear on the British list, while 33 only appear on the American one. (My suspicion is that many of the books that remain earned their place by being recommended by either Oprah or Richard & Judy for their respective book clubs. I'm not sure whether I find that amusing or sad, though in fairness many of the recommendations are pretty decent.)

My inclination for the next couple of years is to fucs quite heavily on the books that appear in the British list, finish that, and then turn my attention to the American version. Whether that actually happens or not will remain to be seen, of course.

In case you are particularly interested, the full listing of the final 50 is below. (Fair warning: If you're not interested, that's the end of the post!)

1. Anne of Green Gables (LM Montgomery)
2. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
3. Complete Works of Shakespeare
4. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
5. The Stand (Stephen King)
6. Anna Karenina (Leo Tolstoy)
7. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
8. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
9. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
10. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
11. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
12. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
13. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
14. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
15. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M Auel)
16. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
17. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
18. A Suitable Boy (Vikram Seth)
19. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
20. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
21. Lolita (Vladimir Nabokov)
22. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
23. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
24. On The Road (Jack Kerouac)
25. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Ann Brashares)
26. Midnight's Children (Salman Rushdie)
27. Moby Dick (Herman Melville)
28. Shogun (James Clavell)
29. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
30. Ulysses (James Joyce)
31. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
32. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
33. Swallows and Amazons (Arthur Ransome)
34. Germinal (Emile Zola)
35. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
36. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
37. Madame Bovary (Gustave Flaubert)
38. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
39. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
40. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
41. The Faraway Tree Collection (Enid Blyton)
42. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
43. The Good Earth (Pearl S Buck)
44. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
45. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
46. The Outsiders (SE Hinton)
47. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
48. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
49. Hamlet (William Shakespeare)
50. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)

#30: "She's Come Undone", by Wally Lamb (a book from The List)

The European Pipe Band Championships 2017

This weekend was the last of a run of four heavy weekends with the band, as the competition season reaches its mid-point, and also reaches the point where it takes a break for a while. It was also the second of four major tournaments of the year.

Following the exhaustion of last year, this year we took the approach of travelling up to Inverness on the Friday, spending the night in a Premier Inn, attending the competition on the Saturday, and then returning on the Sunday. I do think this was the better approach - although it meant taking a day off work, and also spending a considerable more on hotel rooms, food, etc, it was much less tiring than the equivalent last year. (I think the band will be reverting to the previous model of travelling up on the Saturday next year... but that's not my problem.)

The journey up was surprisingly quiet. The bus was only half-full, and seemed even less full than that. I buried myself in a decent book, emerging only during the stop, and then again when we arrived.

The plan had been to take a practice shortly after arriving on the Friday night. Once we got there, the decision was taken not to bother, as we were four pipers down. In hindsight, I suspect this was a mistake, though I wasn't too unhappy about it at the time. Less pleasantly, it was decided that we would be leaving the hotel at 7:45 on the Saturday, which left little time for breakfast.

(The Premier Inn, incidentally, was pretty much like all the others I've been to. It was fine - nice and clean, a comfy bed, and a good breakfast. Though they didn't seem to have the promised grilled tomatoes. But they did give us free Irn Bru, which made up for it somewhat.)

On Satuday, we travelled over to the competition in good spirits, arriving in good time. (I finished my book during this journey, and started straight in on the next one.) We had a short break, put up the dread gazebo, and then gathered together at 9:30 to start our preparations in earnest.

Alas, it was not to be our day - nothing seemed to go right from then on. The drones just refused to settle, possibly due to the wind, or perhaps because most of the band hadn't blown their pipes on Friday (the cane drone reeds we're now using need played every day, and seem to be utterly unforgiving about that). The focus in the practices just didn't seem to be what it had been on Thursday, the playing just wasn't as good. And then a second mistake was made - we moved over to final tuning late, meaning we had only moments at that final staging area. (Though, honestly, I'm not sure that really matters.)

At that last moment, one of our younger players had a problem with a drone, and it was put off. This is always a risk - putting a drone off increases the pressure in the rest of the pipes, and so if you're not careful there's a risk of the chanter coming in when it shouldn't, causing an "early E". But that risk is better than going on knowing a drone is acting up...

The performance was not good. There was an early E (I don't know if it was that same player or not - better not to know, I think), it was all too fast, and it was generally very ragged. As we came off, we knew the pipe major was raging, and he didn't disappoint.

We didn't qualify. In fact, out of 11 in our qualifying group, we were 10th - 10th and 11th for piping, 3rd for drumming, and 11th for ensemble (not surprising - if one half is poor, the ensemble can't be good).

Not surprisingly, our drummers took that particularly hard. After all, they'd done their bit and been let down by the pipers, again. It was even harder to take when we heard the final - not only should we have qualified, if we'd played the way we did on Thursday we could well have won.

There was one piece of good news. Our young drum major was also competing, and she came fourth - winning her first prize in a championship. Obviously, that's a fantastic result.

Alas, worse was to come. As soon as we learned we weren't in the final, much of the band decamped to the pub. Cue the drunken antics of a load of people who really should have known better.

My personal favourite bit of the weekend came in the early evening, when one of our members tried to persuade me that I shouldn't leave the band once I've moved, because Livingston isn't all that far... Unfortunately, he was doing so while thoroughly drunk, and thus serving as a prime example of why I'm not fighting particularly hard to stay.

Once we got back to the hotel, I had a quick dinner and then bed. So much for that day.

On Sunday morning, the bus driver made a complaint about the state of the bus. In addition to the usual low-level mess that you always get from a group of people (which is largely unavoidable, and generally accepted), there had been a whole load of biscuits ground up and thrown around the place - in a manner that simply doesn't happen by accident. So I apologised profusely, and made a note to address the subject at the practice tonight.

The journey home was largely uneventful, due to a combination of hangovers and sleeping. Thank goodness.

But it doesn't end there! Because when we got home the driver complained about the state of the bus again. He'd mopped it out just before we left, so it was almost immaculate at that time, but just a few hours later it was again a state of discarded wrappers, bottles, and other assorted litter. He, at least, was mollified by the efforts of the committee to gather and clean up that mess. I wasn't.

The outcome of all of this is desperately disappointing. It's bad enough that we didn't qualify, and worse that we didn't perform at all well. But everything else that has happened has just sickened me on the whole experience again - I don't put in this sort of effort to the band just to spend my time clearing up other people's garbage.

So...

I'm still going to see out the rest of the season. But I'll definitely be leaving at the AGM in September - any prospect that I might change my mind on that point is now over. What's also over is the hope that I might see the band promoted as I depart - that was already a long-shot after the British Championships, but is now definitively over. I will also be avoiding the buses at the World Championships and at Innerleithen (the last competition of the season) - the other events should be okay, but those two will see a repeat of the same antics as this weekend, and I'm done with that.

#29: "Look to Windward", by Iain M. Banks

The Branch Locator

In banking, the concept of the local branch is a slightly tricky one - for a great many people, it's like a safety net: almost everything is now done online or at an ATM, and you hope not to actually have to go to a branch, but when you do need to go there tends to be no substitute.

Unfortunately, this puts the banks in a tricky spot, because providing local branches is very costly, especially as they are used less and less - you have to pay staff whether they're doing anything or not, so the goal should be to try to minimise that "dead time". And it's not as if there are many efficiency savings to be met; a branch needs a minimum staff presence to be able to securely deal with the monies involved.

The consequence of this is that banks have, quite naturally, encouraged people to move to digital and direct banking as much as possible (because it's much cheaper), and have cut down on the number of branches. (I would presume that the next step will be to cut down on the opening hours for the branches that remain. If they're wise, this will also be matched by a shift to branches being closed during business hours in the week, and open more often in evenings, at weekends, and, ironically, on bank holidays - the times when people are actually able to go. Of course, it won't happen like that.)

Anyway...

A few times a year, I find myself in possession of a cheque or two that need to be deposited into the bank - that being the main source of my having to actually go to a bank. And, naturally, the branch local to the flat is only open during business hours during the week, which means I either have to go late on a Friday or early on a Saturday.

Or, crazy as the notion is, I could always go to another branch. Which seems like a good idea - the website has a useful "branch locator" gadget, and my hours at work are flexible, so...

And so, for my latest scheme I plugged in my postcode at work, and discovered that there's a branch a scant 2 miles from the office. Huzzah!

Alas, my celebration was short-lived, because when I drove over to said branch, I discovered that, far from being open from 9am to 5pm (with an hour closed for lunch), it was in fact shut. Permanently. Indeed, it had been shut for months, boarded up, with all the signage removed (to the extent that I actually drove past it before realising what it was).

I guess it's my own fault really. I should probably have located the secret "find a branch that's actually open" button on the gadget. Silly me, assuming that such a thing should be implied.

(In other news, the competing bank where the band do their banking have also recently closed the branch closest to the office. So it's not like any of them are really that much better.)

Edinburgh Pipe Band Championships 2017

It's been a busy weekend, with all sorts of stuff going on. The band were out both days - on Saturday we attended both the Linlithgow and Grangemouth gala days. (While getting ready, I looked out the window and thought, "well, I might get soaked, but at least I won't need sunblock." I therefore got badly sunburnt, which isn't good.) Then we went to the Edinburgh Pipe Band Championships yesterday, where we played twice.

(I should perhaps note that while this event is called a championship, it is in fact just a 'regular' competition - not one of the five actual championships. Though I daresay Edinburgh city council would be very keen to get their hands on one of the big five.)

Actually, it was a really good day - hot and sunny, with a really good venue and a good feeling about the place. Definitely my favourite competition of the season thus far.

In our grade, we came 2nd overall, out of nine bands. That is 3rd and 3nd for piping, 3rd for drumming, and 2nd for ensemble. So, a really good result, and one that stands us in good stead for the next championship, at Forres next weekend.

In Grade 4A things were rather less rosy - we came last out of seven bands, being 7th and 5th for piping, 4th for drumming, and 7th for ensemble. So, not so good. The only slight mitigation to that is that at least we knew we hadn't done well, and that we knew also we could do a lot better (indeed, we had done, immediately before going on - bottled it again). Also, the Grade 4A contests are all about gaining experience - it's the Grade 4B ones that matter. This year.

So, all in all a decent day. The main thing is that we had a successful run-out prior to Forres next week, which is going to be the big one. And then we get a much-needed break, filled with moving house and other shenanigans.

Tim Farron

Once upon a time, I was actually a Lib Dem voter. As I said shortly after he died, Charles Kennedy was probably as close to my own political stance as any mainstream politician has come in my lifetime.

But they left me a long time ago, pretty much as a direct consequence of ousting CK. I initially thought Ming Campbell might be a good substitute, but he singularly failed to impress, and I never had much time for Nick Clegg even before the coalition. (That said, the coalition would have been forgivable but for two things. Firstly, the delivery of voting reform, not just a referendum on a crap compromise, should have been an absolute red line. Secondly, having signed personal pledges on the issue, the Lib Dem MPs absolutely had to vote against rises to tuition fees - that shouldn't even have been a discussion.)

As for Tim... well. They had to have someone, and there weren't a lot of choices, so I guess he did the job. He always seemed a bit useless, even at the best of times. For the most part, my reaction to his resignation is a resounding "meh".

Except...

From a Lib Dem perspective, my over-riding memory of the election campaign was from the first week, in which Tim Farron found himself caught up in a 'scandal' because of his views on homosexuality. With Tim being openly Christian, and despite his voting record of the topic, he had this perceived weakness, and the media were not quick to exploit it - what exactly were his views on gay sex? And so, just when he most wanted to be talking about Brexit (aka the most important issue in UK politics right now, by at least an order of magnitude) found himself embroiled in a media-confected controversy.

Of course, it's not hard to see why the right-wing media took this approach. It's certainly not as if the Sun and the Daily Mail had suddenly converted to become great champions of gay people! But Tim headed the only major Britain-wide party to stand against Brexit, and so posed at least some threat (no matter how small).

And, unfortunately, those on the left are disastrously fragmented. Seriously, we see it all the time - you either have to completely ideologically pure, or you are the very devil. (Which is made extra tricky since different factions within the left have different stances, some of them mutually exclusive.) Which is why the right almost always wins - "well, I like almost everything they stand for, but I couldn't possibly vote for someone who..."

Poor Tim never really stood a chance.

What was very interesting, though, is that Theresa May is also openly a practicing Christian, and has a far more patchy voting record on LBGTI rights than Tim Farron and yet, somehow, Robert Peston neglected to ask her about the same topic. Despite, incidentally, promising to do exactly that when he appeared on "Have I Got News For You". She did get asked the question, by Andrew Marr, but only a week later, after she'd had plenty of time to be well briefed on how to answer. And she most certainly didn't face the same hounding on the subject.

The reality is that most of the media don't give a damn about Tim Farron's (or Theresa May's) Christian beliefs, or indeed his beliefs as regards LBGTI rights. They're interested in the rest of their politics, and will use anything and everything to discredit their opponents. I suppose all's fair in love and war...

Except that that has a really horrible implication. If that is indeed the case, then that means that the 'ideal' politician is a vacuous amoral psychopath, who will adopt whatever position it takes to win and only those positions required to win, and who will studiously avoid any underlying beliefs or principles because they might be used against them.

If there's a lesson to be learned from Tim Farron it's this: we get the politicians that we deserve.

Strathmore Highland Games 2017

The band are busy every Saturday and every Sunday in June. Last weekend was the Mariner's Day parade in Camelon (our local gala day), and then the Strathmore Highland Games at Glamis Castle on the Sunday. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to attend Mariner's Day - we had a meeting to set up our new mortgage.

The Strathmore Highland Games can either be really good or really bad, depending on the weather - Glamis Castle makes for a wonderful backdrop, but it really can get boggy. Fortunately, this year was one for nice weather.

We competed twice. Initially, we were entered in Grade 4B, but one arrival we registered to also play up at Grade 4e. Entering late like this means that you have to play first, which is not ideal but does have the advantage that you don't have so much waiting.

The Grade 4B contest went well. I thought we played the tunes about as well as we had ever done. Alas, we didn't replicate this in Grade 4A - we started well, but it very quickly fell apart. And it didn't help that my hands decided to cramp up by the third part of the first tune. Disaster!

Or maybe not, because the results were just weird. In Grade 4B we came fourth, narrowly missing out on a prize (we were 4th in piping and 1st! in drumming), and in Grade 4A we were second (2nd in piping and 1st! in drumming). So, another prize, albeit not in the 'important' competition. But it was strange to see the judges' opinions differ from our own so sharply. Oh well.

The coming weekend is going to be another very hard one - we have both the Linlithgow and Grangemouth gala days on the Saturday (which is extremely hard work, but makes a lot of money for the band all at once), and then the Edinburgh Championship on the Sunday. As this is our last run-out before the European Championships in Forres, there's quite some pressure to make it a good one.

There are now ten events in all remaining in our season (counting the two gala days from Saturday as one), and twelve and a half weeks to go. It's going to be really hard going attending all these events, especially while also moving home. However, since our move-in date is the weekend of the third major (the Scottish Championships), I'm going to try not to miss any - though I think Dumbarton will be a case of driving over, playing the event, and then leaving right away.