The Scottish Pipe Band Championship 2014

Saturday was a somewhat mixed day. The morning was gloriously sunny, but in the afternoon it started raining hard; so hard, in fact, that the march-past was cancelled, meaning we all got to leave that bit earlier than expected.

My day started at 6am, with me dragging myself out of bed and off to the shower. The return to work has been pretty brutal, and last week was thus a particularly tough one. I could really have done with a chance to rest. Oh well.

The journey to the competition was reasonably pleasant and was quite quick. Indeed, we had made sure to leave lots of extra time in case of Commonwealth Games traffic, only to find that there wasn't any noticable increase. Thus, we got there with some hours to spare.

The preparation for the competition actually went reasonably well. We took to the field, played out selection, and came off. All seemed good; indeed, it was our best performance of the season, and by a long long way.

There then followed several hours of waiting, which wasn't good but which was improved by having a good book to read. Eventually we got the result.

And we came last. Out of fourteen bands playing, we came fourteenth from both piping judges, fourteenth for ensemble, and eleventh in drumming. Which was a massive kick in the teeth - we'd genuinely thought we were in with a chance of sneaking away with a prize, and certainly didn't think we were that far off the running, so to come last...

The journey home was a rather subdued thing, during which I almost fell asleep a couple of times. I finally got home just before 8pm, which was a good bit earlier than expected. And then I went to bed.

So that's it. There's one final major championship of the season, the World Championships in Glasgow in three weeks time. However, due to the number of bands involved we will need to qualify for the final, and there's little chance of that, never mind of winning a prize. Which means we'll be ending the season without a single championship point to our name. And after several years of that, we're likely to be demoted back down to Grade 4B - which might not be a bad thing from a player satisfaction point of view (better to win in a lower grade than be thrashed in the higher), it took a lot of effort to get moved up, and the thought of facing that again isn't fun.

But I really don't understand what happened. It would be disappointing to have come last due to a bad performance, but at least that would make sense. But I was sure that wasn't the case here. As I said, it was our best of the season by miles, so to still come last... That practically requires everyone else to have been brilliant.

It's just frustrating.

Disaster in the Last Chapter

"The Cuckoo's Calling" in not a book I would normally read. It's not that I have anything against crime fiction; it's just a genre I don't usually bother with. Had it not been for the revelation that Robert Galbraith was actually J. K. Rowling I would probably not have ever been aware of the noval. (And, of course, as soon as it was revealed to be JKR the reviews of the book became worthless - suddenly people were reviewing the author rather than the book.)

Still, I did enjoy the Harry Potter series, so when the novel appeared in Tesco's near-permanent "2 books for £7" offer, I picked up a copy. That was some months ago, and it has been waiting on my shelf since then.

I started "The Cuckoo's Calling" on Saturday while on the bus to Dumbarton; I finished it Sunday evening.

For the most part, it's very, very good - it's a really easy read, the characters are well drawn, and the central mystery is engaging. And it did indeed have me guessing right up to the last chapter. In fact, my big concern was that I had identified three characters I thought might be the killer, and I was worried she might pull a "they all did it!" twist, which wouldn't have been good.

Crime writing must be a tricky thing - you want a mystery complex enough that the reader doesn't quite see the revelation coming, and yet also clear enough that when the killer is revealed then it immediately makes sense - it should of course be clear how they did it, why they did it, and basically tie everything up.

Unfortunately, "The Cuckoo's Calling" fails that latter test. I had previously considered the character in question as the killer, but discarded him for a pretty obvious reason. (Though, admittedly, I was largely considering him because of the Gene Hunt law of crime fighting, rather than any good reason.)

The problem didn't lie with the murder itself. The means, motive, and opportunity all fit together perfectly well, so there was no problem there. Unfortunately, the bigger problem was that if that character was the killer then his other actions in the novel just don't fit.

Now, in fairness, JKR does try to resolve this by explaining what the character wanted to achieve through his actions. But the explanation is simply madness - the character would need to assume that another character, whom he had never met as an adult, was precisely competent enough to find this, this, and this, but just not quite competent enough to find that and that.

But then that means... alas, the more the story tries to fit together, the more it unravels. It's like trying to fix a slightly bendy floorboard by stamping on the raised end - doing so fixes the one problem but it creates others.

Which is a real shame, because for 520ish pages out of 550 it was a really good book. (There's also an issue with the epilogue, which seems determined to ignore some inconvenient facts in order to secure the mega-happy ending - exactly like Dumbledore's blatant cheating of the system in order to secure a Gryffindor win in the first Harry Potter book. But that's a comparitively minor problem.)

Still, it's good enough that I'll probably read the sequel when it comes out in paperback next year. Assuming it's again in the "2 books for £7" offer, of course.

#37: "Solo", by William Boyd
#38: "The Cuckoo's Calling", by Robert Galbraith

Markers

I've been reading "Solo" recently, the new James Bond novel by William Boyd. It's a fairly decent read, although surprisingly lacking in thrills. However, while it's a decent novel, it's just not a very good James Bond novel.

I've been thinking about just why this is, and I have a theory. Unfortunately, if correct that theory means that nobody can ever again write a good new James Bond novel. Indeed, even Ian Fleming couldn't write a good new James Bond novel at this point (if he were alive, of course).

The issue is what I call 'markers'.

In certain series there are distinct markers that are used as a shorthand to the audience to put them at ease and make them comfortable. A Superman film will never deviate very far from the classic suit design, will have Clark Kent as Superman, will have Lois Lane as the love interest, and Lex Luthor will never be too far from the scene (as I understand it, he's in the sequel). Similarly, Batman is Bruce Wayne, the orphan billionaire. Similarly, when casting the new Star Trek movies, there was a need that Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto bore a certain physical resemblance to Shatner and Nimoy, respectively. A Star Wars movie pretty much must include lightsabers (and, probably, two particular droids).

And so on.

With the James Bond movies, the set of markers has become quite extensive, indeed to the point where pretty much anyone could write a (really bad) James Bond movie: take two or three exotic locations, three gadgets from Q-branch, a car packed with all sorts of gadgets, three attractive women (he's been upgraded - it used to be two), a bad guy with some sort of obscure physical defect, "vodka martini", "Bond, James Bond", the Walther PPK, some terrible puns... give them a good shake together, and it's done.

(And, yes, "Casino Royale" didn't use all of these, and subverted some others, but actually that was rather the point in that movie. But with "Skyfall" we're back to business as usual.)

The thing is, though, that the James Bond novels also have a set of markers. And these are both subtly different from those in the movies and also, in a few cases, they're incompatible with the ones in the movies - for instance, Bond drives a different car, and drinks a different drink, and is very particular about such things.

The problem is that the majority of readers of a new Bond novel will be people who have only ever seen the films. They will, therefore, expect the novel to contain the various markers that they're used to. And for commercial reasons, therefore, the novel needs to match those expectations.

Conversely, people who have read the novels will expect any new work to serve as a companion piece - they'll be looking for the markers from the novels.

In order to succeed, therefore, a new Bond novel needs to satisfy both. But since the markers are incompatible, this cannot be done.

There have been three recent attempts to write a new Bond novel, and thus three attempts to square that circle. Of these, I've read one, skipped one, and am reading the third. (I skipped Deaver's attempt as I have no real interest in a "literary reboot" of Bond. I find the notion of a continuing adventure, set in the 60's, interesting, but not any update.)

For much of its length, I found "Devil May Care" by Sebastian Faulks to be an excellent read - for about 200 pages it's almost indistinguishable. Unfortunately, it completely goes to pieces in the last third, turning into a bad Roger Moore Bond film in tone. Such a shame.

William Boyd has taken a very different tack, though. Where Faulks tried to write "as Ian Fleming", Boyd has instead absorbed the existing novels and then written his own novel. Essentially, he's doing a work "inspired by" Fleming's novels. Which is a fine approach, I guess, and it gives me reason enough to consider looking up his other works. But the truth is that I wasn't looking for a William Boyd novel; I was hoping for a James Bond novel, and by that metric it fails. Again, a shame.

I will be interested to see if they do another attempt at a new James Bond novel, and if so in who they choose to write it. Assuming it's again set in the 'classic' time, and assuming it's a continuation rather than another reboot, I'll no doubt pick it up and give it a read... and then complain about it again. Still, I do think it's a worthwhile exercise; if nothing else, it helps me identify authors that might be worth giving a look in their own right.

#36: "Doctor Who: Adventures in Time and Space Limited Edition Rulebook", by Cublicle Seven

Success!

The bathroom ceiling is now dry, and unlike previous attempts this one has actually succeeded - no nasty cracks all across it.

So, that's that job done.

Dear Tabloids...

If it's not too much trouble could you please, please stop trying to talk us into a war with Russia? At present the situation in Ukraine looks really bad, and it's certainly very tense all around, but there's far more that we don't know than that we do. The last thing we need is people pouring large amounts of oil on it.

I should probably make clear at this point that I'm not defending Vladimir Putin. By all accounts, he's not a particularly nice person, in charge of a not-particularly-nice government. But there are three things to be considered:

1. He's not a modern-day Hitler or Stalin. He's just not. Behave.
2. It's fair to say that our own leaders aren't particularly nice either. For instance, I'm not entirely convinced that Russia's anti-gay agenda is really worse than telling terminally ill people that they're fit to work. And, of course, after Iraq we don't really have any moral high ground on the issue of invading other countries.
3. Probably most important, though: nice or not, Vladimir Putin is smart. In fact, he appears to be a good bit more intelligent than our leaders. So if he is indeed the mastermind behind the shooting down of this plane, it's because he's trying to start a war, and that because his forces are ready. That's something rather important to consider before rushing in.

Military action against Russia may now be inevitable. It may even be the right thing to do. But it also goes beyond being something we don't want to do unless we absolutely must - it's something we don't want to do even if we absolutely must. Because even if we 'win', we'd end up vastly the worse off for it having been done.

So, yeah, rather than the daily set of headlines designed to out-outrage your rivals in order to sell copy, with the by-product of talking us into a war we really don't want to fight, could you please STFU and let cooler heads prevail? I'm sure Jordan has some tasty revelations about her private life you could cover instead. (And, incidentally, that goes for the BBC and, especially, Sky News as well.)

Update on Goals

Another 50 days done, reaching day 200 of the year. So, time for another update...

• Weight: This hasn't gone well - as usual, my trip away caused a nasty weight gain which means I'm actually worse than where I started. Hopefully the remaining 165 days of the year will be more effective on this one.
• Work: Work remains good. That said, I've been on holiday for the past week and a half, so I couldn't really complain, could I? I'm hoping the remainder of the year goes the same way, and if so then I'll be happy indeed.
• Books: I'm now, suddenly, ahead on this goal - I've read 35 of the books for the year, taking me to the end of July, and I'm not without hope I'll actually hit 38 by the end of this month. Better yet, I'm up to date on all of my sub-goals, with the sole exception of the Pathfinder which, due to an oddity in the release schedule, doesn't have an entry in July but instead has two in August. So that's good.
• Games: There's not been much movement on this one. I played in another session of Numenera, completing that sub-goal, which means the only thing remaining are my one-shot games. I have two scheduled, "Ultraviolet: 2XS" and "Firefly: Inglorious", which leaves me one short of my target. I'm hoping to schedule something in October, but that remains to firm up - I'll update next time.
• Maintenance: I had a 'final' attempt at fixing the bathroom ceiling, but it didn't work. I'm now in the process of having one more, really final this time, attempt at the same. One way or another, I'll have an answer on that by Monday. Lady Chocolat has also graciously taken the carpet cleaning off my hands, so that's no longer an issue. Those two done, this goal will be belatedly finished.
• Computer: This was completed last time.
• Money: One payment to go, and so by this time next month I'll have completed this goal.

And that's that. The above is almost exactly what I predicted with my last update, and I'm pretty happy with it. The only goal that remains problematic is the first one, and that's not really a surprise when looked at objectively.

The next update should be on the 7th of September. I don't expect to have too much to report at that stage - I expect the Work and Books goals should now remain on target, and that the Maintenance and Money goals will join the Computer goal in being completed. I do hope to have some progress to report on the Weight issue, and I'll have come to a decision regarding games for the remainder of the year, one way or another.

By the next update, the band's competition season will also be complete, so at that point I'll have something to report there, too.

The Order of Willie Scott

So, I went to see "Transformers: Age of Extinction" last night. I'm not going to bother with much of a review: Michael Bay has these down to a fine art now, so if you liked the first three you'll like this; if you didn't like the first three, you won't like this. For what it's worth, I rate them 2 > 4 > 1 > 3, but that's like rating Spice Girls singles - they're just varying levels of awfulness.

(That said, I did like some things: most of the Autobot character designs; Hound; the Dinobots!; Prime's original disuise form; that Prime had the Autobot shield in his new disguise form; Frasier Crane's character; and the Dinobots!)

But I'm getting really sick of a particular depiction of women that seems to crop up in films rather too often, which I have chosen to call the Order of Willie Scott, after the character in "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom".

This character type is distinguished as follows: the actress is cast because she looks good but usually (but not always) lacks any acting experience and indeed talent. The character is then portrayed as being completely useless. She exists to shriek at opportune moments, to get herself into all sorts of trouble, and to generally motivate the manly men to go off on their adventures. As a side-order of awfulness, the character is usually (but again, not always) depicted as being 'strong' by virtue of constantly defying the paternalistic male figure in her life - be that her father as here, or the hero (who, by virtue of being the hero must of course be the surrogate father-figure /sarcasm) - generally serving to get herself into yet more trouble.

Now, in fairness, there is a certain counter-argument here: faced with a war between giant transforming robots, it's not really a surprise that someone might go to pieces. Indeed, there was one scene in particular that would have had me curling up in a ball and just accepting death. But that's actually part of the point: in film, it's invariably the female character (especially the OWS) who cries, and cowers, and gets rescued, while the manly men bellow, and stand, and do the rescuing. It's not a realistic human response to danger; it's a patronising faux-female response to danger.

(The reality, with something like this, is that some people would be shattered and some would adapt more quickly. But it's likely that that adaptation wouldn't cut across the 'classic' lines: faced with a war between giant transforming robots, there's no telling whether it would be the manly man or his seventeen year old daughter who is better able to cope. Indeed, there's an argument for it being the latter, as she has less life experience to be confounded.)

So, I'm afraid I'm going to have to induct Nicola Peltz's Tessa Yeager into the Order of Willie Scott, alongside Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's Carly, and of course Willie Scott herself (but, incidentally, not Megan Fox's Mikaela Banes - Michael Bay does actually know how to do better, he just chooses not to).

(Of course, I've also previously complained about the 'fake' badass warrior woman - the one who is portrayed as being tough and independent and awesome... right up to the point where the script-writers need to establish how great the 'real' hero is, at which point she'll need rescued. I don't like that either. My preference is for characters like Lady Sif from "Thor", Eowyn from "Lord of the Rings", Delenn or Susan Ivonova from "Babylon 5", Sarah Connor from "Terminator", or Ellen Ripley from "Alien".)

Actually, it occurs to me that "Transformers: Age of Extinction" could have been improved hugely by the simple expedient of changing the sex of Mark Wahlberg's character. Though it should be noted that I didn't see anything wrong with his performance.

-ary

A couple of years ago, I complained that "How I Met Your Mother" had run into problems, largely because it had fallen into a holding pattern. I was actually quite dismayed when the 9th season was announced, because while I wasn't enjoying it, I felt a need to see it through to the end (see also: Wheel of Time, Song of Ice and Fire, Outlander). But I actually enjoyed most of the 9th season - the need to bring things to a close forced the writers to actually get moving and tell their story (see also: the last book of Wheel of Time), and the introduction of The Mother added a whole new dimension to the show. Good stuff.

Then they did the finale, and managed to completely blow it.

Of course, most of the discussions about the show have already been had, probably those months ago when it finished in the US, so I'll be brief. My problems with the finale were threefold:

1. They casually threw away basically all of the character growth and change of the past several years. I actually complained about Barney's "growing up" those two years ago, but it was an undeniable aspect of the character, and his and Robin's relationship was pretty key. And then then threw it away, had him revert back to his former persona... and then do another 180 turn in an instant. Not good. Similarly, one of the key features of the last season was Ted's finally realising that Robin was not the one for him, and that he had to let her go. And then they turned that one around, too. Good work, there. The only characters who weren't betrayed by this were Marshall and Lily... who had basically remained constant throughout so had nothing to revert back to.
2. Likewise, The Mother was very badly treated. That character had been crucial to so much in the show, even before she was seen, and then the cast and writers had done an exceptional job of showing that she and Ted were indeed right for each other (even without showing us the meeting). And there, again, she was written out in about fifteen seconds, because time was short. Again, not good.
3. But the big issue was the epilogue, where it's revealed that the story's not really about how Ted met The Mother at all but, surprise!, it's all about Ted and Robin after all. And so we get a theoretical happy ending: Ted and Robin live happily ever after. But there's a massive problem with that: the show spent years making it abundantly clear that while Ted really wanted Robin to be The One, she just wasn't right for him. It had taken him an awful lot to realise that, and caused a huge amount of heartbreak along the way (messing up all sorts of stuff between them), but it was true: Robin just was not right for Ted - he was in love with an imagined version of her, not the reality. (I think perhaps the issue here was that their hands were tied by virtue of having filmed the scene with the kids a decade ago, and couldn't reshoot due to them aging in the meantime. But while this explains the problems, it doesn't so readily excuse them.)

So, anyway, that's that. And now I have another gap in my TV schedule to fill - counting everything there are maybe only half a dozen shows to watch all year.

Silence Falls

August is the month of the Seventh Doctor, as portrayed by Sylvester McCoy - sadly, also the last Doctor of the classic era. Thanks to the machinations of the BBC, I actually missed a large chunk of McCoy's tenure - I missed his first companion entirely, and saw only parts of the adventures with Ace!.

Unfortunately, having viewed some of the McCoy stories later, I'm inclined to think that cancellation actually was the best thing for the show. The reality was that computer SFX were just hitting big in the US but they were still very expensive. So Doctor Who was never going to match up with "Star Trek: the Next Generation", never mind "Babylon 5" and the shows that followed it. It really needed massive investment or it would look really cheap... and the BBC weren't in a position to give it the investment it needed.

Faced with that, I'm afraid cancellation was necessary. And in some ways it was good - it allowed a new generation of fans to grow up, and led directly to the RTD and Moffat eras.

This month's short story is titled "Ripple Effect", and is by Malorie Blackman. As the name may imply, it deals with the Doctor (aided by Ace!) making an unwise decision and the consequences being far reaching indeed. It features Daleks, but not as we know them...

It was a good read, certainly being a decent diversion for an hour or so. Still, as with so many of these short stories, it barely gets going before it's time to wrap up. In particular, I think I would have preferred a bit more deciding to fix the problem and a bit less being forced to fix the problem - there was an interesting dilemma there, but it was largely sidestepped by the urgency of the situation.

The novel was "Remembrance of the Daleks", by Ben Aaronovitch, the novelisation of his serial of the same name.

I suppose that was an inevitable choice - when picking eleven novels for a "50th anniversary collection" there are a few things you have to include: one featuring each Doctor, one each with Daleks, the Master, Cybermen... one written by Terrance Dicks, and one novelisation. This hits three of those in one fell swoop. And with it also being Ben Aaronovitch's first published novel, and given his later success elsewhere, it must have been a no-brainer to include it.

It's fair to say, though, that it wouldn't have been my choice.

There's nothing particularly wrong with "Remembrance..." Indeed, given that it was the last Dalek story for years, it made for a good ending for their particular story. And yet, it suffers a bit, as do many of the seventh Doctor stories, by the Doctor having a plan that he's following but which looks like a completely random sequence of actions. He goes here and does that, then he goes there and does this, and then... it all comes together. That makes things quite frustrating - it's as if some exposition is just missing.

The novelisation of "Remembrance..." also suffers from much the same flaw as I found with "From Russia With Love" - with that Bond story the film captured the essence of the book so well (and with "Remembrance..." it's the reverse) that it just seems redundant - yes, it's a decent story, well told and well written, but... I've seen it before. I can't read it without Sylvester McCoy's voice in my head, delivering exactly those lines. When Ace! says "but professor..." it's Sophie Aldred I hear. I know the story, I've seen it relatively recently, so why bother reading it?

None of which is Ben Aaronovitch's fault, of course. Indeed, one could argue that that's exactly what you want from a novelisation. But it does hopefully explain why I think I would rather have had something else instead.

Anyway, that's the classic era done. Next up is poor Paul McGann's Eighth Doctor, the longest and the shortest. I always felt that while his TV movie was pretty terrible, he himself could have been a great Doctor, and I was really glad to see him get another chance in "Night of the Doctor". So I'm rather looking forward to next month's adventures in time and space...

#30: "Firefly Roleplaying Game: Core Book", by Margaret Weis Productions
#31: "Cross-Stitch" ("Outlander in the US), by Diana Gabaldon (A book from The List)
#32: "Doctor Who: Remembrance of the Daleks", by Ben Aaronovitch
#33: "The Science of Discworld IV: Judgement Day", by Terry Pratchett, Ian Stewart, and Jack Cohen
#34: "Ender's Game", by Orson Scott Card (A book from The List)
#35: "The Crusader Road", by Michael A. Stackpole

The Riding of the Marches 2014

Another week, another competition. We at least got to play at this one, and did much better than we'd expected (we had real problems getting set up to play). We came 6th out of 8, which wasn't great but wasn't too bad, all things considered.

I also mostly enjoyed the parade through the streets, as the weather was nice and lots of people had come out in support. Also, some of the groups in the parade were really quite creative - I particularly liked the "Riding of the Minions".

Ultimately, though, it really wasn't the best of days, for all the usual reasons.

Oh well. There are now six competitions to go (two Championships and four minors), and then the season will be done. I'm looking forward to that.

(One thing that wasn't particularly good either is that I'm still wading through the book I was reading last year, which I'm still not enjoying. Still, I only have 155 pages to go...)

The Coffee Penance Ends

A couple of years ago, in a bid to distract me from my Irn Bru problem, I started drinking coffee at work (with the consequence that I now have both an Irn Bru problem and a coffee problem). After a few weeks of trying out various types and brands of coffee, I settled on Kenco's "Columbian" coffee as my drink of choice. Which is mostly fine and uncontroversial.

Unfortunately, Tesco in Falkirk have decided to become rubbish, and seem to be intent on reducing the range of things that they carry or, worse, stocking them only erratically. This has already had the terrible ordeal of forcing me to to buy green! mouthwash on one occasion (and, horribly, they've also sometimes had the green! and red! mouthwash on offer but not the blue stuff, provoking the most terrible of dilemmas). And the same has applied to coffee - naturally, they've retained a fairly extensive range but become erratic in stocking the one I actually want.

So, the last time I found myself running out of coffee, Tesco were of course out of stock. So, rather than go a week without, I was forced to try an alternative. After much careful consideration, I plumped for Nescafe's "Blend 37", that being one I hadn't had before. (Nescafe also have a "Columbian" coffee, but I've learned in the past that this is a cruel trick.)

So, I picked up a jar of "Blend 37", and that should have been the end of it. It was horrible, but it was just one jar and so just three weeks of bad coffee - not a disaster. And, indeed, had it been one jar I might even have been tempted to throw it away as soon as I could get an alternative. A waste, to be sure, but one I could blame on Tesco and so move on.

But I made a terrible, stupid mistake. See, I'd run out of coffee both at home and at work (because I'd run out at work and so taken the jar from home to work, and then run out again). So, having decided to try "Blend 37", just as I was about to move on... I picked up a second jar for the flat!

Naturally, this was a total disaster. I don't even drink coffee at home all that much, and could have easily managed without for a week. But, no, I grabbed the second jar of granulated horribleness, took it home, and then discovered my mistake (whereupon I didn't drink any coffee at home for weeks).

This of course created a bigger problem - it wasn't one jar but two, and it wasn't Tesco's fault but my own stupid mistake that caused the problem. Consequently, just throwing the coffee away wasn't an option. It had to be drunk.

(Plus, in another cruel irony, the coffee went from "dire" to merely "horrible" by switching from a heaped tablespoon per mug to two-thirds of that... meaning it lasted even longer. Gah!)

The upshot of that is that today is a day of celebration - I finally finished the last of "Blend 37"! And since I picked up some more as soon as it came back into stock, I can resume Kenco's "Columbian" on Monday. Huzzah!

Making an Exception

Over the past few weeks, I've been gradually reading through the rulebook for the new Firefly RPG. And, naturally enough, once I've finished it I'll be wanting to add it to my list of books read for the year.

There's just one thing, though. Back when I started recording the list of books read, I set up a number of rules: it's a book if the publishers say it's a book; one set of covers is one book; and when tackling an anthology of which I've already read part, I only need to read the 'new bits' to count the whole. In particular, that "one set of covers" rule has a corollary that eBooks don't count (not having covers). Indeed, I specifically noted this restriction way way back when I first posted on the topic.

The reason that that matters is that the Firefly RPG is a PDF, as the hardcopy hasn't arrived yet - it's on pre-order with Amazon, but has been delayed since March (-ish). Having gotten bored waiting, and since the electronic form of RPGs is frequently useful when preparing anyway, I picked up the PDF at fairly low cost, and have since started reading that.

So, I found myself with something of a dilemma - how to add the Firefly RPG to the list of books while adhering to my self-imposed rules?

So, I considered not including Firefly on the list, on the grounds that the rules exclude it. I also considered deliberately stopping just short of finishing the book until the hard-copy arrived, and then reading the last page or two in the physical version (and thus sneaking it in under the 'new bits' clause). At which point I decided that that was pretty absurd.

At length, I've decided to make an exception to the rules, and just include it once it's finished. If nothing else, when the physical copy arrives I'll take a look through it anyway, at which point I can sneak it in under the 'new bits' rule - per standard logic rules "all the new bits" evaluates to TRUE if there are no new bits. (Besides, I actually do expect there to be a couple of new bits - probably some back-cover blurb and one or more adverts for upcoming products - that have been omitted from the PDF.)

As a general principle, it's probably time to relax the "one set of covers" rule to admit eBooks and PDFs. (Not that I expect to make much use of such a clause, as I have neither a Kindle nor iPad, and don't like reading PDFs or eBooks on a PC screen.) The only problem there is that it's not immediately obvious how such things should be measured - if I were to get a compiled PDF of, say, the "Hunger Games" trilogy, would that count as one book or three? With a physical version, that's obvious, but not so with the electronic form.

(For now, I'll only include electronic versions of things that are also available as physical books, and list them in the same manner as I would the corresponding physical book. So if that electronic version of the "Hunger Games" trilogy matched to a one-book physical version it would count as one, where if it corresponded to a boxed set containing all three then it would count as three. Either way, I'll note when something was in electronic form, and if you really want to take issue with it then you can... though I don't promise not to shake my head sadly in your general direction.)

The European Pipe Band Championships 2014

Brace yourself for a new tale of "The Worst Thing That Has Ever Happened..."

Yesterday was the European Championships, the third of five majors for the year, but the second attended by the pipe band. As with last year, and as will be the case next year, the event took place in Forres, waaay up North.

So, I got up at 4am (!) to get ready for the event. This very early start was necessitated largely by my concern that I'd spend the morning in zombie-state and so need some time to get my brane in gear - as proved to be the case. Still, I made ready and then left the flat, walking through the early-morning sunlight to the bus. Huzzah!

We went to our second pick-up, where there was some concern that out Tenor drummers weren't there. One of these had said she was working and, although she would try, she wasn't sure she could move her shift. The other had been at all previous events, but had missed the practice on Thursday, so there was some concern - did she know the pick-up time? A text was sent; no reply was received, and so we left after a further 15 minutes waiting.

Turned out, she was the lucky one...

The first two hours of the drive up there were uneventful. I read the end of my Pathfinder, having failed to finish it on Friday, I concluded that next year I would definitely go up there on the Friday, event if the band did not (while the Pipe Major was likewise concluding that the band would definitely have to do the same!), and then I started on my next book. (I haven't finished it yet, but will post about it when the time comes. It's not a good one.)

After two hours, we stopped for the driver to get a rest, while the rest of us got some breakfast (second, or third, or something) from a cafe. This was a roal and sausage that was adequate, and some hot brown water that claimed to be coffee (but really wasn't). And then we were on the road again.

About an hour later, some 50 minutes from Forres, suddenly the noise of the engine changed. The bus driver exclaimed, "It's just cut out!" And then there were two miles of gradual slowing down, coupled with some attempts to restart the master engine. But no joy.

We came to a halt in a more-or-less safe bit of road, where there was a third lane in the middle of the road that would allow other traffic to pass. Then, several people disappeared and went crawling under and around the bus (the driver, a guy who drives tankers for a living, and a guy who knows a bit about engines). They fiddled for a bit and thought they'd fixed it (spoiler: they hadn't), and so made their way back on board.

Unfortunately, at this point the driver noticed that the hazard lights weren't working any longer. The battery had gone flat almost immediately. Needless to say, this meant that the bus wouldn't start - a flat battery means no starter motor. So, a call was made to Volvo for someone to come and help.

At this point, it was almost but not quite certain we wouldn't get there in time. So, the pipe major spent some time getting all the chanters ready to play, just in case, and a few people had to get changed on the bus. (Fortunately, I was not among them.) Also, we looked into possibilities of calling ahead to say we'd be late, though it wasn't expected this would help - there have been cases of unscrupulous bands saying they've broken down in order to get to go on last (no, seriously!), so the RSPBA takes a dim view of such things. In any case, it turned out that we couldn't get through, so that was that.

At length, the guy from Volvo came, he fixed the bus at least temporarily, he jump-started the engine, and we were on our way. Apparently the choke switch had triggered by mistake, both cutting off the engine and discharging the battery. Removing the switch removed the problem, though wasn't a 'good' solution as the choke switch is a safety feature. (Though not an absolutely-essential one, more like the airbags in a car - you'd rather have them working than not, but can manage without.)

Unfortunately, by that point it was obvious we couldn't get there in time.

There was then a discussioin about what to do. The truth is that there was no appetite for just turning round and heading straight back (another three hours driving). So we went and saw some of the other bands, left at 4 instead of waiting for the march-past, and got back about 8:45 instead of midnight.

All in all, it was a complete waste of a day, and a fairly uncomfortable one since I was stuck in my uniform all day. Still, it could have been worse, I suppose - it could have been cold and/or raining, or we could have been in real contention for the season and so lost out on our final placing. "Fortunately", we're not, and instead were hoping for a sneaky sixth place just to get something for the year - so not the biggest loss.

But next year, we'll definitely be heading up there the night before!

#28: "Angela's Ashes", by Frank McCourt (A book from The List)
#29: "Pathfinder: Secrets of the Sphinx", by Amber E. Scott

Helensburgh Highland Games 2014

This weekend has been spent almost entirely on band stuff, which isn't ideal - I would really prefer not to have "double headers" of this sort. Still, I believe this is the last one for this year, so that's good.

Saturday was spent at the Grangemouth Gala Day, which was fine - a long parade followed by lunch and then a short massed bands performance. It was hot and sunny, so actually a fairly pleasant day all things considered. (Although I really don't like wearing sunblock, which seems to cause me all sorts of problems. Still, better than the alternative.)

Sunday was then spent at the Helensburgh Highland Games, where we resumed our competition season after a week off (and, since I missed the last competition, I resumed after two weeks off).

The day did not have an auspicious start - the bus took about 90 minutes to get there, but the driver took what seemed an especially winding route there, which meant I spent a lot of that time actually feeling quite sick. Still, we made it through.

The day was, again, hot and sunny. This is always nice, despite the sunblock issue. Additionally, we were fairly relaxed in our preparations, went on, played, and felt pretty good about it - probably our best performance of the year to date.

The rest of the day was okay, albeit boring. I spent most of it reading "Angela's Ashes", which I didn't quite manage to finish. There was an incident, which I'll come back to, but otherwise things were okay.

We came fourth out of five, which was a slightly disappointing result. That said, with so few competitors it's hard to know how we start in relation to other bands - we might have come fourth out of ten, or ninth. So it was at least fairly positive.

And then the journey home was okay. This time, our route took us through Glasgow and on the motorway, which made for a much more pleasant journey. I got home about 8 - a long day, but not the worst.

Alas, it wasn't long after that before my phone started to ring. As I said, there was an incident, part of which I saw but thought nothing of, but the rest of which I'd missed. But there's been a complaint about bullying made, which means of course that we have to take action. Not good.

(Plus, we found out on Friday that our free 'let' of the school we use for practices is going to cease to be free as of August, and since we don't have the money required to pay, we will simply have to find a new practice venue. Also not good. Sometimes it seems that everyone is really keen to have a local pipe band, but very few people actually want to help that band out. Oh well.)

Dear FA...

So, England are effectively out of the World Cup. Granted, it's still mathematically possible for them to go through (if Italy win both their matches, and England beat Costa Rica, and the goal difference goes for them), but take it from a Scotsman - hoping for the "mathematically possible" is folly.

Anyway, in light of last night's defeat, the media have gone into immediate post-mortem mode, trying to find someone to blame and some way forward. And it would appear that the expectation is that Roy Hodgson will be identified as the scapegoat and either resign or be sacked.

This would be a mistake.

There are two things that really should be borne in mind here:

Firstly, the draw for this World Cup has thrown up some groups that are dominated by a single big team (for example, it looks likely that both France and Argentina will easily win their groups, and in fact will just glide into the quarter finals without issue), and some groups that are hugely difficult. England are in one of the latter sort. And if you're in a really tough group, it's not hugely surprising if you don't get through it - someone has to lose.

Secondly, it was always known that Roy Hodgson had a significant rebuilding job to do. With the gradual retirement of the so-called (and over-rated) "Golden Generation" there was always going to be a need to bring through lots of new players, establish a new defence and attack, and generally bring the team forward. That process has begun, but it's not done yet, and not by a long way.

For the two reasons above, most of the informed analysts were suggesting that England would face a difficult time and would likely fail to progress from their group. That being the case, given that England have faced a difficult time and likely failed to progress, why the surprise? Why the outrage? "Meets expectations" isn't good enough, but it's no reason to panic.

And it's not as if England were roundly thrashed or played particularly badly. (Well, at least against Italy - against Uruguay they did get caught out at the back at least once when they really couldn't afford it, and they never really looked like equalising a second time.) There are some good players there, the performances were (mostly) disciplined, and there's reason for hope.

The thing to do at this point is simply: Keep Calm and Carry On. Don't change the manager, don't try to overhaul the playing staff radically... just wait. Two years from now, the 'kids' who are just breaking into the side will be markedly better. The team will be more used to playing together. They'll just naturally do that bit better - not well enough to win, right enough, but then there's probably no manager and no possible England team that could be fielded that would win.

Longer term, achieving that win would require the production of a large number of new, top-quality players. It's not a matter of finding 11 world-beaters, or even 25 to make up a squad; it's a matter of getting together 50 with a mix of youth and experience. You don't get that in 2 years. It's a decade-long project at best. And, for reasons I've posted before, it's probably never going to happen. Sorry.

But for now, it's really just a matter of beating Costa Rica (not to qualify, but to salvage some pride), and then looking forward to the next one. Panicking is the wrong response, and really won't help.

Don't Say It Too Loud...

... but I'm rather hoping for an England win tonight. Despite the defeat, I felt they played very well against Italy, and the truth is that the World Cup will just be much more interesting with England than it will be once they're out. So, provided they play well again, a deserved win would be a nice result.

I can't see them progressing beyond the next round, though.

On a mostly-unrelated note, I'm really enjoying this World Cup. The timings of the matches are pretty much ideal (what with kick off of the first match coming just as I finish work), and the matches themselves have mostly been fun, with some really good ones out there. Thus far, it has of course been Holland and Germany who have most impressed me, though I sense both Brazil and Argentina are still to show us what they can really do.

And the demise of Spain was most interesting. It seems teams now have the beating of them; it felt a bit like the end of an era, like when Federer suddenly ceased to be invincible.

#27: "Raising Steam", by Terry Pratchett (great book, as always, though not quite a contender for Book of the Year.)

How to Fix Westminster

Warning: this is a tedious 'politics' post. Feel free to skip it! (Also, I promise not to do another one until the World Cup is over - I'll talk about football instead.)

I've mentioned before that my reason for voting "Yes" in September is largely due to my belief that politics in the UK is unfixably broken. That raises an obvious question: what would a fix look like?

(After all, "unfixably broken" really isn't a helpful definition. By defining what I would consider a fix, though, that should give some scope of the issue, and explain why I don't think it's realistic to expect change.)

So, what would a fix look like? Well, the first thing is that I believe we need approximately 650 new MPs. Assuming the front benches on the government and opposition sides represent the cream of the crop, I feel confident in declaring that they're just not fit for purpose.

However, my issues are more to do with how MPs are selected and how they operate, rather than the specifics of the people we currently have there. I therefore have a further eight general points, and then one further point specific to the Labour party. So, in time-honoured 'list' format...

1. MPs should be required to maintain their primary residence in their constituency, and to have lived there for 5 years prior to seeking selection. This one is quite straightforward - an MP should be there to represent his/her constituency in Westminster, not to represent Westminster to his/her constituency. Some random bod dropped in from Oxbridge because it's a safe Labour seat really can't do that.
2. MPs should be selected by the local party without interference from central office. Again, that's a simple one - local people should be the ones to choose who they want to represent them. I understand what Harriet Harman is trying to do with all-women short-lists, but she's wrong - it's anti-democratic. (And, yes, that does mean that if the local party is racist, sexist, or homophobic then they might select a horror as candidate. That's where you hope the electorate are smart enough to vote otherwise and/or the other parties are at least remotely competent in highlighting the fact.)
3. Remove party alliegance from the ballot paper. Firstly, because we (at least in theory) elect a person to represent us, not a party. But it's also because this forces the parties to get the name of the candidate out there in order to win votes; they have to campaign in all constituencies, not just the thirty or so 'swing' constituencies in the South East of England. (Despite being reasonably politically-aware, I know next to nothing about Eric Joyce, my MP, and I knew literally nothing about the SNP guy I voted for last time - not even his name. That's really not healthy.)
4. We need a proper right of recall. The current government have introduced something, which is to the good, but it doesn't go far enough. I suggest the following: 10% of the electorate in the event of any conviction, any meaningful breach of their code, if they are stripped or the party whip, or if they choose to leave their party. Or if 40% of the turnout demand a recall, they should be able to do so unconditionally once in the term of the parliament. (For example, Falkirk has approx 82,000 voters, of whom 62% voted at the last election. Under my proposal, Eric Joyce would have faced recall when he was stripped of the Labour whip provided 8,200 voters demanded it (10%), or unconditionally if 20,336 voters demanded it (40% of the 62% turn out). That's still a very high threshold, but it does at least provide the option.) Oh, and we should have an (at least theoretical) ability to demand the dissolution of parliament entirely, and thus force a General Election.
5. We need minimum attendance requirements for MPs, both in the House and in their constituencies.
6. Manifesto commitments need to be made legally binding. Otherwise, how are we supposed to know what we're voting for? (Plus, that eliminates one of my biggest outrages - first Labour campaigned that they wouldn't introduce top-up fees, and then did exactly that; then the Lib Dems made personal pledges to work to eliminate fees, and then voted to increase them to £9k a year. The Tories are the only party I can trust on the topic of tuition fees, which is horrible.)
7. MPs' pattern of work needs radically changed. This involves both dramatically reducing the number of holidays they have per year and dramatically reducing the hours they work when they are there. At the moment, MPs seem to be bone-idle half the time and half-dead with exhaustion the other. Neither is conducive to good governance.
8. Likewise, MP pay should be significantly increased, but their access to expenses vastly curtailed. I don't have a problem with MPs being well paid for what they do. If parliament works, they're actually worth it. But expanses are still a problem. Basically, we've built a system which encourages corruption, and that's really not healthy.

So, those are my 'general' suggestions. As I said, I have one further point which applies specifically to the Labour party:

I don't know what you stand for any more. See, with the Tories it's pretty clear - I don't like what they believe in, but at least I can understand it enough to reject it. But the Labour party talks about being the party of the working class, of being the ones to stand up for the little guy against the bosses, and all that stuff. But, in practice, it's just not so. The current Labour party is further to the right than the Tories were pre-Thatcher. Hell, in some ways the Labour party are further to the right than Thatcher. You're not the party you claim to be; at best, you're marginally better than the Tories. And yes, if my choices are to be punched or to be stabbed, then I'll take the punch. But, frankly, I'd much rather opt-out entirely.

So go back to your founding principles. That way, we at least get a choice. And I don't mind losing an election where I have a real choice but the other guys got more votes.

But if the only real difference between the parties is the one lot wear red rosettes and the other wear blue rosettes, that does me no good whatsoever. Red Dwarf did that joke in 1988 - the hats are supposed to be green.

So there it is.

I'm not actually sure that would be enough - I haven't even touched on things like equal constituency sizes, the House of Lords, or the ability to force referenda on key constitutional issues (the voting system, the monarchy, independence for Scotland/Wales/NI, or EU membership). But it would be a start at least. And I think those are all (except maybe #3) required changes.

So, how many of them do you think are even on the agenda, never mind things that might potentially be addressed before September? Hence "unfixably broken".

Experimental Cookery 2014: Sausages and Rich Onion Gravy

It has been a while since I've done one of these, though they may be a few more coming up fairly soon. LC has finally grown bored with the previous cycle of the various curries, chilli, spaghetti bolognese, and similar that had been the staple for the past couple of years, so now we're searching for another set of favourites. (Ideally, this would include some "freezer foods" that we can cook in batches and freeze and also some "quick cooks" for weeknights.)

This one was taken from the second "Hairy Dieters" book, and was nice and simple to prepare - as they indicated it was about 10 minutes prep followed by 20 minutes of cooking, none of it terribly difficult. So, an ideal "quick cook", at least in theory.

I felt that it was nice, but it hadn't quite worked - the gravy was over-thickened, and the mash had picked up little shavings of non-stickiness from the pan (will need to get some 'stick' saucepans for occasional use, I guess). But I liked the sausages, and felt that the gravy tasted fine.

LC, alas, found she didn't enjoy it. Apparently, she doesn't care for 'posh' sausages. (I was using up the remnants we had in the freezer, so we had 2 Tesco Finest sausages with bramley apple and 3 with herbs.) Which was a shame.

Would I try this again? I'm going to go for a cautious 'yes', I think - one more try with the appropriate lessons applied. In the meantime, I need to come up with some more ideas.

Where It All Went Wrong

Colin Baker is generally regarded as the weakest of the Doctors (Paul McGann usually being exempt from the comparison by virtue of his role as "the longest and the shortest"). Personally, I would place him marginally ahead of Sylvester McCoy, but in both cases I would apply the caveat that I don't think it was the actor's fault in any sense (and that's true of McGann as well) - they did what was asked of them; it's not their fault that the material wasn't all that might be hoped.

With the Colin Baker era, I think there were four problems, none of which were Baker's fault:

1. By that point, the show was just tired. Ironically, for a show that could literally go anywhere and do anything, it had become very formulaic and repetitive. Most stories followed a pattern that varied only slightly, and the show had become very self-referential. Much as I hate to admit it, it really was time for a rest. (It will also be interesting to see what happens to New Who in a few years, as any show that lasts as long as it has runs the same risk.)
2. The costume. Oh dear, the costume. I guess they were going for something truly unique, in a bid to capture the Tom Baker 'scarf'. But they failed rather spectacularly, an in going so they really messed up the tone of this Doctor's adventures. That said, I think they could perhaps have recovered from this, except that...
3. The decision to make this Doctor loud, and arrogant, and overbearing, and, really, not very nice, was an interesting one, and it might just have worked were it not for the other problems. After all, it was something genuinely new. But a big problem with that was that this new, darker, Doctor was quite at odds with the comical costume choice. So, the tone of the whole thing was badly off. Either go for the 'darker' Doctor with a darker outfit (see the Ninth Doctor for a good example), or go for a louder, comic Doctor with the clown-suit. Either could have worked (maybe). But there was one other problem that they just couldn't recover from...
4. In the Sixth Doctor's first episode ("The Twin Dilemma", part one), and in fact in his second or third scene, immediately after picking out the clown-suit, we have an extremely troubling scene where the new Doctor has a "funny turn" during which he is really, genuinely nasty to poor Peri and then tries to kill her. That scene, by itself, consigns the new Doctor to the scrapheap. There's no coming back from that.

It's all such a missed opportunity. Creatively, the notion of having the Doctor's regeneration being unstable and him being a bit 'off' for a while is a very interesting one. And it does indeed fit given the circumstances of that regeneration. But there's a huge gap between "a bit off" and him being nasty, and especially with him attacking his companion. Combine that with him being not-very-friendly, even after that story, and with the clown-suit, and you've got a disaster.

Likewise, having the new Doctor be rather abrasive, arrogant, and generally not-very-nice is also an interesting choice and could have worked well. But not with that costume, and not when you're also dealing with the "unstable regeneration" angle. (And, probably, not immediately after the Davison era, when that Doctor was generally pleasant.)

And none of it is Colin Baker's fault, even though the powers-that-be blamed him for it.

(It should also perhaps be noted that Colin Baker's era does feature some great material. "Revelation of the Daleks" is one of the great stories, close to the level of "Genesis of the Daleks" in quality, while the "Trial of a Time Lord" season is also very very strong. So there's good stuff there, despite the problems.)

Anyway...

June being the month of the Sixth Doctor, I found myself reading the short story "Something Borrowed" by Richelle Mead and the novel "Players" by Terrance Dicks. Both featured the Sixth Doctor and Peri.

Alas, "Something Borrowed" isn't terribly good. Remember how I said that many of the stories by the Sixth Doctor's tenure had become very formulaic? Well, the same is true here, probably as a consequence of the very limited page count. The story features the son of a friend of the Doctor being married to a mysterious woman of a different species. Surprise! It turns out she's up to no good. Surprise! It turns out Peri gets captured. Surprise! There's a rescue. Surprise! The Doctor turns the tables on his foe.

It's something of a shame, because the underlying premise is actually quite good; adapted for the TV show this could actually make for a good episode. And although this is a recurring villain, she's not one who has been as over-used as certain others I could mention.

By contrast, "Players" is fantastic. I suspect this has something to do with the author's huge familiarity with the show - Terrance Dicks was, of course, the guy who wrote a huge number of the novelisations, so he knows his stuff. Plus, he's taken an interesting premise, an interesting segment of history, and some interesting figures from that segment of history and woven together a fun tale. This is, by some ways, the best of the six novels to date.

Next month is, of course, the month of the Seventh Doctor, who seems to have been the Doctor that the BBC deliberately sabotaged - I missed half of one season and all of the other simply because the BBC never bothered to let us know it was on, and then it was dropped due to lack of viewers. (Though, as I said above, the show was getting really tired by that point, so maybe it was for the best, heretical as that sounds.) Unfortunately, next month's novel is merely the adaptation of "Remembrance of the Daleks", which was an okay story, but I would have preferred something else. Still, I suppose we had to have Daleks in there somewhere!

#26: "Players", by Terrance Dicks

The British Pipe Band Championships 2014

Yesterday was the first major of the new season, and also a gloriously sunny day. This combination made for an interesting day...

Starting last year, the RSPBA rearranged the calendar of events. This happens every so often, as the licenses to host the Championships come up for renewal and sometimes go to different venues. So, instead of the Scottish Championships being the first Major, instead the first is now the British Championships, and those are held in Bathgate. This is particularly nice because they're just a short hour in the bus.

As a consequence of this, I got the extreme luxury of a lie in until 8 (8!) on Saturday morning. Then a short walk to the bus, a short ride to the park, a short tune-up, and we played. It was probably our best performance of the year so far, which is nice.

I then spent most of the rest of the day sitting on the bus reading the latest Pathfinder, which is not the best use for a day, but isn't too bad. I found myself growing increasingly tired, and also feeling increasingly unwell due to a really bad headache - this is a consequence of IBS and there was really nothing I could do to shake it.

(At one point, I did make time to see some of the Novice Juvenile bands play - if we set up the Development Band next year then these are going to be our competition. Which is a bit worrying - the standard I saw was very high. Still, since the goal would be just to get our learners some experience, I'm not going to worry about that. Much.)

The march-past was pretty late, but reasonably enjoyable, what with it being a nice day. The chieftain was Susan Boyle, which provided three surprises: firstly, she kept her "response" down to a mere four sentences (which is much appreciated after a long day); secondly, she proved to be a much better chieftain than Sylvester McCoy; and thirdly, she got not one, but two genuine cheers from the assembled bandsmen - normally, it's just some fairly muted polite applause.

We came 10th out of 15 bands - 14th and 10th for piping, 9th for drumming, and 10th for ensemble. Not great, but much better than the previous two outings. We also beat three of the bands who beat us at Dunbar, as that's promising. That said, there's still a long way to go. (It's also worth noting that we're going to miss the UK Championships, so whatever happens there is little chance we'd be up for promotion, so it's largely academic.)

And that was that. I eventually got home at 8:30, which made it a very long day. But probably the best of the three competitions this year.

#23: "The Lovely Bones", by Alice Sebold (A book from The List, and also the new candidate for Book of the Year.)
#24: "Pathfinder: Shifting Sands", by Richard Pett