Experimental Cookery 2012: Spicy Lamb Burgers

This one came from "River Cottage Every Day". Other than involving the toasting and then grinding of quite a few spices, it was dead easy. However, it was a bit time-consuming, especially since there was a "leave for 1 hour" step in there! The resulting burgers were very nice, although I found mine to be a bit too spicy. Still, there was a nice cooling yoghurt to go with it, and some salad, so that was okay. I'm sure we'll be doing these again at some point, although perhaps more for barbeque weather than just for general use - I think I prefer the classic beef burgers that Jamie has me making.

Competition Season Wash-up 2012

It's been a rotten year. We started the season with the highest of hopes - the band was playing well, we'd recruited a number of new, stronger players, and everything seemed set for a good year.

But the performance at Dunbar was bad, and the result equally disappointing. And then the result at the Scottish was likewise bad. At that point, a mere three weeks in, it was already apparent that the band weren't going to succeed to any great extent.

It was downhill from there. The new players we had recruited gradually drifted away - they had been promised a band that was going places, and that obviously wasn't the case, so off they went. There were increased rumblings of discontent against the Pipe Major (some fair, many not), especially surrounding a ceilidh that should never have gotten as far as it did. The British Championships were another bad result.

The band took a break at that point, intending to come back strong for the European Championships. Instead, things came to a head, and the Pipe Major quit.

And so, I was left holding the bag, with a week to go before Ireland, with a band in pieces, and with some other commitments to deal with.

But, if the truth be told, that couple of weeks was probably the happiest I had with the band this year. That was the spell when I led the band out to the Wheel's anniversary celebrations and met Princess Anne, I led the band out to several events in Linlithgow, and I led the band out in Ireland, something I had never expected to do, but was glad to get the chance to do at least once.

And then came the election of a new Pipe Major, which I've discussed before and won't go into again. That was the point where I finally decided that my time with the band was over. Events since then have convinced me that it's the right decision, and a good last week and relatively good Cowal hasn't changed my mind. I just hope the band will be in a strong position to carry on without me.

The Worlds was a bad competition, for many reasons. Cowal was a considerably better competition. And it does look like the band could do better next year. (Really, it could go either way.)

But the worst aspect of the season is something I've barely mentioned all year, because it concerns something that hasn't happened. After a very promising start, the Development Band effectively ceased to exist this year due to a lack of drummers. And that's entirely our own fault - our lead drummer refused to take on learners, he refused to let one of 'his' drummers take time out to teach them, and even sent away those learners that we had. So we never had a chance. A real shame, that.

There's a practice tonight, and I think another on Thursday (though I won't be attending the latter - LC needs the car, and I could do with the break). After that comes the AGM. All that remains is for me to conclude the business of the band as well as I can now, and then tender my resignation is as good a manner as I can.

Cowal Highland Gathering 2012

At the start of the season, we had hoped that Cowal would not be our last competition of the year. However, we quickly found that those competitions in September didn't include an event in our grade, and so were unsuitable. But then, a few competitions were cancelled, and some rescheduled... in the end, it turns out that Cowal was indeed the end.

Which, to be honest, is A Good Thing. This has been an absolutely brutal season, and being done with it is something of a relief.

Fortunately, Cowal itself was okay this year. Not great, which is too much to hope for in any case, but okay.

With no Development Band this year (boo!) and the 4A band not playing until 14:57, we didn't have to leave until an almost civilised hour - my pick-up was at 8:45 (although the bus was early - I was lucky I caught it!). And then on to the ferry, and on to Dunoon. We were there just after 11, and free until 1pm. So I sought out an early lunch, enjoyed the glorious sunshine, regretted not wearing any sunblock, and read "The Great Gatsby".

At 1pm, we started getting ready. In truth, this was far too early, but it was a necessary step following the Worlds, given all the work that was required on the chanters. Even so, one of our members had to be dropped due to his chanter just breaking down completely. A shame - the Pipe major had hoped not to drop anyone on the last outing.

As we made ready, some spots of light rain fell. Still, it stayed dry while we played. We played well, probably giving our best showing of the season. It wasn't a prize-winning performance, but we'd known that going in. But, still, a decent performance.

And then we waited some more.

Now, as you may well know, there have been controversies in the past at Cowal over the question of whether or not we would march down the street. Had I been in charge at this one, it had been my intention to do the parade. However, the new pipe major was rather less keen. This created an issue; there was one parent in particular for whom the issue meant a huge amount. (And, for various reasons, she was taking things particularly hard at the moment. But that's not for me to relate.)

So, there was a rant, and tears, and the pipe major and lead drummer relented, and we were doing the march. Huzzah.

We went on for the march past, and as we finished our circuit the rain started. And then, just as the chieftain started his speech, the rain really started. And it poured, and poured, and poured. We got utterly, thoroughly soaked. And, naturally, they had chosen a chieftain who decided that now was the time to be particularly chatty. At length, he finished... only for the mic to be handed to the head of the RSPBA... who proved much more chatty than his predecessor in the role. And then, the mic was handed on again, this time to the head of the Cowal organising committee... who proved to be another chatty man.

Then came the prize giving, which went on very, very slowly.

GET ON WITH IT!

Eventually, we learned that we had not, in fact, won a prize. We came 11th - 14th and 11th for piping, 4th fro drumming, and 12th for ensemble, out of 15 in our grade.

And then we went and did the parade. Oddly, despite the rain and general unpleasantness, the parade was quite good fun. True, I could have done without the woman who stepped out of the crownd just long enough to grab my ass, but I guess that's Cowal - come for the piping, stay for the sexual harrassment. We completed the parade, and that was that.

We got back to the bus, and waited for the police to clear us to move out. And waited, and waited. We could have done the parade again in the time we waited, but no matter. Eventually, we were off.

And this year there was no incident. The journey home was long and tedious, and not helped by being too dark to read, but it was uneventful - and then it was over.

I finally arrived home at 11:45, spent a little time peeling off my wet clothes to let them dry, a bit more time winding down, and then got to bed about 12:30.

And that was Cowal, which turned out to be a relatively high note on which to end the season, and a relatively good experience with which to bow out of the band.

Experimental Cookery 2012: Popular Pizza Pies (Calzone)

This one comes from the Hairy Biker's "Perfect Pies", which I picked up on a whim from Tesco some months ago, and hadn't yet found opportunity to use. A calzone, in case you're not aware, is essentially a folded pizza - it looks something like a Cornish pasty, but with an entirely different set of ingredients within. In theory, they're lovely.

I'm not going to lie to you: this one's a bit involved. Putting the dough together takes a good 20 minutes, and requires some work. It then needs to be left an hour to rise, most of which I found was taken up in making the sauce and frying up some ingredients (they recommend mushrooms and salami, but given LC's unreasoning prejudice against fungi, I instead opted for chorizo and red pepper; we're going to be experimenting in the future).

Anyway, mix, knead, rise... chop, fry, stir... wait, wait, wait...

Putting it all together was relatively nice and easy, then there was a fold, a roll, and more waiting while the seal fixes. Then brush it with oil, and put it in the oven for 25 minutes.

We cooked them in two batches, and elected to eat from the second batch (due to timing). As the first batch came from the oven, LC's reaction was "oh wow..." Yes, they look good. Indeed, see for yourself:

So, then... how was it?

In one word: excellent.

In several more words, it was pretty much ideal - the crust was nicely browned and cooked, the filling was hot and suitably intense. All in all, it was a winner. Certainly, it blew Tesco's equivalent out of the water quite spectacularly. (And, fortunately, we have four left over to freeze. Huzzah!) We're definitely going to be having these again, and will no doubt put them into the rotation (along with the curries, lasagne, burgers, etc - those things that we make up in a batch and then freeze for later).

Two things, though: we're going to have to do some experimentation with the fillings. The chorizo and red peppers were great, but there are so many options out there to be tried, and no reason not to experiment. And LC noted that they would have benefitted with something to dip the crust in; a barbeque sauce or similar.

Tonight, we opted to have a calzone each and a few chips as an accompaniment. In future, I think they might be better served to have one between us, a few more chips, and a salad or similar as a side. One each was great, but it did feel a bit too much.

Anyway, it's a winner. Recommended.

One other consequence of this is that I find myself inspired. Jamie, Hugh, and Lorraine all do pizzas in their books, and they're all much the same as the Biker's calzone. And I do like a good pizza. So, I'm just going to give them a go, and see if they supplant store bought, or even takeaway, pizzas in my affections. Of course, there's a danger inherent in that, as I found when I did the burgers... if they're too good, they'll leave me entirely dissatisfied with convenience burgers, while at the same time not really having time to do the job 'properly' every time. Oh well, I guess it's quite a nice problem to have.

#29: "Pride and Prejudice", by Jane Austen (the #1 book on The List!)
#30: "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald (a book from The List)

My Favourite Weather

I'm much more a winter person than a summer. Simply put, I don't like being too hot. But I do actually like the sunshine.

So, my favourite days are the ones you sometimes get in winter, when the air is freezing cold but the sun is bright in a cloudless sky. When it's pleasant to go out for a walk, albeit bundled up warm, but when your breath fogs in the air, and your footsteps lighty crunch through the light frost.

Conversely, you get days like today, when it is hot and sticky, but the sky is horribly overcast and it's miserable and wet. Those are probably the days I like least, being the worst of all possible worlds.

Buying Presents for a Six-Year-Old Boy

"He likes Tranformers, Lego and Superheroes." So, yeah, that's going to be a tough one.

In order to achieve this mighty quest, we went on Friday to our local toy store, which is less than ten minutes' walk from the flat. Once there, I proceeded to pick out the thing that most screamed out to my inner child to buy. Strictly speaking, there was a need to look out for something fitting the theme, but given that Transformers, Lego, and Superheroes are all inherently awesome, that's not so much a limitation as just a given.

Frankly, the only difficulty is choosing which of the three to get. And even that's less difficult than it seems: you can now get superhero-themed Lego (both DC and Marvel, which is even more awesome), and near-Lego Transformers.

The only problem is that modern Lego is just too awesome. Lego "Star Wars", Lego "Pirates of the Caribbean", Lego superheroes, Lego "Lord of the Rings"... It's a good thing they also put maximum ages on the box, or I could have spent a fortune in there!

Oh, and finally: Happy Birthday nephew #1!

Three Films

So last week, as part of our ongoing cultural exchange, I finally persuaded Lady Chocolat to watch "Highlander", "Independence Day", and "The Terminator". The results were distinctly mixed.

I hadn't watched "Highlander" for several years, pretty much since I first got the DVD. And it just hasn't aged well. It probably didn't help that it's actually one of the worst DVDs I own, in terms of sound and picture quality; even the otherwise-excellent soundtrack was distinctly patchy. We watched for fifteen increasingly-uncomfortably minutes, before I suggested abandoning it.

"Independence Day", on the other hand, was a rousing success. We watched the special edition version, with the 9 minutes of restored footage (which, to be honest, don't add anything). And it was good - better than I remembered, in fact. It's an easy film to mock, what with the whole "defeat the aliens with a MacBook" climax, but if taken as a big, stupid blockbuster, it's actually well done. (Plus, it blows "The Day After Tomorrow" and especially "2012" out of the water, so that's something.)

And then there was "The Terminator", which LC had particularly resisted because of the bad taste left by "Terminator 3", the one film in the series that she had watched. (Also the worst film in the series, although opinion seems to be divided between that and "Salvation".) Anyway, T1 was another film I hadn't watched in years, again, probably since just after I first got the DVD.

We got about 50 minutes into this one, and LC was actually enjoying it a great deal (as expected...) when suddenly the film just froze. I tried cleaning the disk a couple of times, but to no avail. It seems that disk rot has taken it. So, we'll try to borrow a copy to watch the rest at some point, and then that's probably another one to upgrade to blu-ray when it is released.

(But why, oh why, couldn't the disk rot take the bad films instead? It's not like there's a shortage in my collection - there are two "Transformers" films and two "Dungeons & Dragons" films it can take, for starters! Plus the aforementioned T3, and indeed at least one of the "Highlander" sequels they never made.)

Irreplaceable

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I was extremely surprised by how good the Olympics Opening Ceremony was. I was also somewhat shocked at just how well Team GM did at the games themselves. They excelled themselves, winning huge numbers of medals, and really improving the mood of the country.

It was bizarre. It was almost as if the country had taken a two-week holiday from its usual mediocrity.

In which case, last night's Closing Ceremony was the clearest possible indication that the holiday is over, and it's time to go back to things being rather pants.

I must admit, though, I was really impressed. When talking about it earlier in the day, I jokingly said that there could be worse things than the Spice Girls performing... only to admit that, no, there couldn't. That truly was the nadir, below which nothing worse was possible.

Turns out that I was wrong, a point made very, very clearly when Russell Brand came on. Dear oh dear.

Anyway, the Spice Girls were on, and they were just as awful as expected. I particularly liked the way they were miming, badly, and they hadn't bothered to get a good recording to use. It was almost as if they were being intentionally awful.

And despite this, worse was to come...

I have a certain amount of respect for Brian May and Roger Taylor for trying to soldier on with Queen despite the loss of their friend. Unfortunately, all they've achieved is to demonstrate that Freddie Mercury truly is irreplaceable. With the sole exception of their collaboration with George Michael, every "guest star" they have had since has resulted in the desecration of one of their classics. And last night's collaboration with Jessie J was no exception.

Actually, I suspect that's inevitable. When doing a cover version, you will always be compared with the original, and the better the original the harsher the criticism. That's why, when doing a cover version, you should always choose a song that had potential but where the original actually sucked, or something that was good but obscure. But under no circumstances should you attempt to cover something by Queen, because you're just not Freddie Mercury.

But the worst thing about that was not that the performance was woeful. The worst thing was that it was utterly unnecessary. Virutally nobody was performing live (including, I think, Brian May himself) - they were all performing to pre-recorded tracks. Which is fine - when the audience numbers in the billions, it takes nerves of steel to play live (if they even had that option).

However... if the vocals aren't live anyway, then Queen didn't need a "guest star" - just use footage of Freddie from when Queen were in concert. It's not like they didn't have it - they played such footage immediately before Queen took to the stage, as if to taunt us with what we were missing. ("Let's see what you could have won!")

But then, the organisers were already facing the problem that the highlight of their celebration of British music had come from Eric Idle, a comedian rather than a musician. Perhaps they felt it would have just been too much of a damning indictment to let a 20-year-dead icon steal the show.

Still, this has given a great idea to send to the BBC: they should do a 'talent' show in which Andrew Lloyd Webber leads the search for a singer/singwriter to create a new, more appropriate National Anthem for the country - a cheesy-pop number encapsulating that most British of themes, "we're a bit shit really, but we do our best".

(Oh, and yes, I did indeed just say that the performance by Queen was worse than the Spice Girls. Because the Spice Girls were no more awful than was always expected, but Queen's performance was an outright assault on something that should be awesome.)

Experimental Cookery 2012: Decadent Rosemary & Worcestershire Sauce Shepherd's Pie

Shepherd's Pie has something of a chequered past with me. Years ago, we used to be given store-bought Shepherd's Pie from the freezer aisle, and it was awful. Worse even than fish; this was the meal that I truly hated.

Time went by, and we stopped getting those frozen foods. And, eventually, Dad took up cooking Shepherd's Pie from a Coleman's sachet mix. Which was very nice - one of my favourites.

Well, except for one thing: technically, it wasn't Shepherd's Pie - he used beef mince, which made it Cottage Pie - close, but not the same.

The upshot of all of that being that this is actually the first time I've had a real, home-cooked Shepherd's Pie.

The recipe for this one came from Lorraine Pascale's book "Home Cooking Made Easy", which is one of the more approachable cookery books that I have. The only criticism that I have of this book, and it's a 'flaw' shared by most of them, is that there's a whole lot of work hidden in the list of ingredients, most of which require some preparation before use. (One of the major points in favour of Jamie's "Ministry of Food", in fact, is that he breaks this prep-work out into a separate section.)

Still, that's a quibble. The actual recipe itself was neatly laid out and pretty clear, apart from one part where we have to add an ingredient twice, at two separate stages. (I resolved this by adding half each time; I'm inclined to think it probably doesn't matter much.)

The meal took just over an hour to put together, from the start to getting it into the oven. This was slightly unfortunate, as I'd estimated quite a bit more, so wasn't really ready to eat when the cook-time finished!

Still, I had time to ponder, gather, and put together a very experiemental salad to go with it.

So, how was it?

Well, I liked it. Lady Chocolat liked it. So I guess that's a win!

Basically, it was exactly as you might expect - the filling was suitably meaty, the potato was nice and smooth, and it was just a really satisfying meal. Her suggestion to put a little grated cheese on top also seemed to be a winning idea, so that's good too.

The salad wasn't so good, but since that was essentially "here's what we have in the house", that's maybe not surprising. Even so, if I had skipped the chilli I suspect it would have been a winner in its own right.

So, that's that. We now have three spare portions of Shepherd's Pie for the freezer, suitable for reheating and use at a later time. Huzzah!

(Perhaps ironically, this was inspired by a comment about Shepherd's Pie made by one of the Hairy Bikers, and yet although we have their "Perfect Pies" book, I went with Lorraine's version. Of course, that means that some day soon I'll have to try their Cottage Pie recipe from that book, and see how they stack up to one another... Oh, the hardships!)

The World Pipe Band Championships 2012

This one was always going to be an endurance test. To be honest, even going in I was of mixed feelings: did I want the band to do really well, or did I secretly want them to fall on their faces and come last? The latter isn't a pleasant line of thought, but I would be lying if I didn't consider it.

The bus left for the Worlds at 6:15, but the band weren't playing until 14:45. This ridiculous state of affairs was brought about by the organisers requiring all buses to be on the park by 7:30, no exceptions.

As a result of this, most of the band (ourselves included) elected instead to stay in bed and to get the train in. This made for a much more pleasant morning than is the norm for such things. So we got up, put on the requisite sunblock (which I hate, but which certainly proved its worth), and caught the 10:42 train. A short walk later, and we were on the park.

The band spent the better part of two hours getting ready, which involved a whole lot of messing around with drones, micro-adjustments to chanters, and general nuisance. Still, in theory, all that work should pay off with a much better sound.

Alas, it was not to be. Ten seconds before we went on, a final adjustment was made to my chanter, which moved the High A from "slightly out" to "completely out". And so, every time we hit that note during our performance, I cringed.

(Given the above, I feel I must note that it wasn't me who made that adjustment. So, for that at least, I'm not to blame.)

The performance was, quie frankly, bad. As soon as we'd finished I knew we had no chance of qualification. (Actually, I've known for months, but there are levels of "knowing".) Indeed, although the sound was much better from most of the pipes, the actual playing was considerably worse than in Ireland.

And that included from myself. I had a bad start, made several mistakes, had a bad finish, and of course had a mis-tuned High-A. It was hardly a vintage performance from myself.

Next, we had to hang around for the result, which sure enough confirmed that we hadn't qualified. And then we had to hang around for the march-past...

But not. At this point, the Pipe Major got the train home. The Lead Drummer soon followed. (And a few of the other members followed suit for various reasons.) There was talk that we weren't invited to do the march-past; in any case, we didn't have a band to do it.

Eventually, at half seven, the stewards allowed our driver to extract the bus, and we were able to go home. The day, thankfully, was over.

In hindsight, we should really have gotten return tickets for the train. That way, as soon as the PM and LD left, we could likewise have headed home. But, after last year's fiasco, I really didn't want to run out on the band. Oh well. Won't make that mistake again.

Fortunately, there is now only one competition to go. The two practices this week, plus the competition itself, have served as very strong evidence that I've made the right decision to leave.

Ah, finally, the result: Out of 18 bands in our qualification round, we came 15th, scoring 18th and 16th in piping, and 18th in ensemble. The one major positive was for the drummers, who came 5th. Well done to them. I'm not really sure how that compares with last week - on the one hand, we weren't last. On the other, we came in a worse numerical position. And on the third hand, we would have been last were it not for a much-improved drum corps.

#28: "Star Wars: Choices of One", by Timothy Zahn

Priorities in the News

On Monday, I was really quite disheartened to find that the news about the successful touch-down of the new Mars rover was buried in the news under a lengthy report on the Olympics, and even under celebrity gossip. Indeed, in the news headlines on the radio, it wasn't mentioned at all.

So, a massively-important breakthrough in science and technology, that may well have massive implications in all our lives* is considered less important that what is, frankly, a glorified circus event for the pacification of the mob**, and even less important than Natalie Portman's secret wedding?

Hmm, I wonder why it is so many of our young people aspire to be reality TV stars, and so few seek to become inventors, scientists, and engineers.

* And that's not an exaggeration. Even if the rover doesn't find evidence of water on Mars, the technologies developed to land the thing will find their way into commercial applications. At a guess, the first benefit we'll see from this will be some safety improvements in the next generation of cars. I mean, I know it's not cool and sexy when slightly fewer people die in crashes in a year, but it's still quite good, isn't it?

** That's probably not fair to the athletes themselves, who truly are the best at what they do, who have gone to great lengths to become the best, and who deserve their plaudits. But I do find myself wondering what the government have planned for next year - they need to find some way to avoid a repeat of the riots.

The worst thing that has ever, ever happened, ever!

Yes, it's so horrifically bad that it requires three "ever"s. This isn't hyperbole at all!

Last night, LC and I were talking about exam results, and at one point I noted that it was unlikely for a 'B' to be upgraded to an 'A' on appeal.

At which point LC noted that she had her History higher upgraded in exactly that manner.

And thus, the very foundations of my world were shaken - for I too have a History higher, which was also upgraded on appeal - from a 'C' to a 'B'.

Oh no!

I shall now go and hang my head in shame.

My Life as a Mad Genius

At the weekend, Lady Chocolat found ourselves on the topic of deep-fried Mars bars. Who can say what manner of bizarre conversationing took us to this pass.

Anyway, LC noted that were we do cook DFMBs, it would be best to get the inaptly-named "fun size" ones, so that it would be possible to eat an entire bar. The thinking being that of course full size Mars bars are entirely impossible to eat.

At which point I was able to deploy one of the great secrets I have learned: the way to eat a Mars bar!

Some years ago, I became keenly aware of the difficulties inherent in eating an entire Mars bar. Frankly, they're too much effort. But, at the same time, I refuse to dignify "fun size" Mars bars as anything other than a cruel trick played on children. (I mean, seriously, who thinks it's fun to get less chocolate?) And so, a solution had to be found.

Being a mad genius, not to mention an engineer (and thus a compulsive problem-solver), I naturally spent an age pondering the issue. Why were Mars bars so hard to eat? Could they be made easier to eat, perhaps with the application of a carefully-thought out algorithm?

Finally, late one night, the answer came to me! The way to successfully eat a Mars bar is upside down*! See, the reason for the difficulty is that when you eat one the right way up, you're biting first through the chewy toffee and then into the soft caramel. This means that you're having to go to some effort to take a meaningful bite. If, however, you eat the bar upside down, you are instead biting down through the soft caramel, followed by the chewy toffee. It's just a much easier process.

* Incidentally, because someone managed to misunderstand me when I told them this (no, really!), you turn the Mars bar upside down. You don't need to be standing on your head!

Nobody ever believes me when I tell them this. Worse, they most often refuse even to test my theory, and thus discover that it actually is correct. (Seriously, it is - if you don't believe me, just try it.) Instead, they prefer to just laugh at the silliness of thinking that it (a) might make any real difference, or (b) that I actually spent time thinking about it.

Fortunately, I get to console myself with Mars bars. But it's a hard life being me.

Brave

I've just had a much better weekend. Lots of rest, some nice weather for a change, no long journeys, and relatively little awfulness from the band. So, that's all to the good.

On Friday, Lady Chocolat and I headed off to the cinema to see "Brave", Pixar's latest film. Which has been released in Scotland and Ireland ten whole days before the English release because... well, just because I guess. Maybe they've been distributing guides to the accent or something, so our English friends can unnerstaun it, or something.

I enjoyed it immensely.

"Brave" is an animated film suitable for children, but it's definitely one of the more "adult" Pixar films - it's much more "The Incredibles" than "Finding Nemo", or "Cars". While there is some comedy (and genuinely funny comedy at that), the story is really quite grown-up in nature. Or at least, I thought so.

The next two paragraphs have a couple of minor spoilers, so you might want to skip them, or the rest of the post...

The film was also quite unusual, in that at its centre it was about the relationship between a mother and her daughter - it's actually much more common for films, and especially animated films, to be about fathers and sons, about brothers, or be 'buddy' movies about two men.

But an animated, fantasy, action-oriented film about a mother and her daughter? Yeah, you don't get that very often.

There's not really much more to say. The film shows the same care and attention to detail that can be expected from all Pixar films, they have a great cast (mostly with authentic, rather than Hollywood, accents - no Mel Gibson here), the animation is flawless, the songs are suitable emotive (but lacking the sucker punch of "Toy Story 2"). And at no point did anything in the 3D fail to work for me.

Basically, it's just a really, really good film.

#27: "Conqueror", by Conn Iggulden (The fifth and final part of a six-book series. No, I don't get how that works. Also, an excellent book, almost as good as "Death of Kings". I wonder what he's going to do next?)

Et tu, Brutus?

Or "Yep, I thought that might happen", or even "Last chance to see..." This post could have many titles. It sucks in all of them.

The two weeks since the Pipe Major quit have been the hardest since I joined the band. It seems that every day there has been some new issue that has cropped up requiring immediate attention. And all of this has been to a backdrop of a stressful time at work as well, not to mention my still trying to recover from a horrible cough that just won't go away. The thing that kept me going, mostly, was that I was getting an opportunity to lead the band out at the World Championships next week - an opportunity I hadn't expected, hadn't sought out, but was more than happy to take as I wouldn't get another one.

Can you guess what's coming yet?

At Ireland, our Lead Drummer told me that he had spoken to a friend of his (also a band member), who had indicated that he would be willing to take over until the end of the season. ("To take the pressure off you," he said...)

On the ferry home from Ireland, I told the committee that I wanted to decline this, that I wanted to lead the band myself for the next four weeks. They agreed that this was right. On Monday, I also said this to the band, and asked if there were any objections, and there were not.

Or so I thought...

When he got home, the Lead Drummer proceeded to send an email to the Treasurer, saying that the band had to have a meeting to formally elect an interim Pipe Major. Technically, he was correct, though I had hoped not to bother due to the fact that it was a matter of two months to the AGM, a matter of two competitions, and frankly because we didn't need the distraction.

But, as I said, he was technically correct. And so, we had a meeting.

As expected, the Lead Drummer nominated his friend, and was seconded by another friend. Fair enough. I was nominated also. We therefore had the vote.

And I didn't get it, on an 8-7 majority.

Now, here's the thing: had this been a matter of appointing a full-time PM, I would have stepped aside. But it wasn't - it was a matter of finding someone to fill a space for two competitions.

And, indeed, if I had thought it would make any actual difference, I would have stepped aside. But again, I don't believe that - we're not going to qualify for the final at the Worlds, and we're not going to win a prize at Cowal. At the most, the difference that this might make is between "last" and "not last". Yay.

So, under those circumstances, I believe I should have been given my chance. I believe I had done enough to deserve it this time out.

But fair enough. The band are absolutely within their rights to elect someone else. And, for the good of the band, I will now give the new Pipe Major my full support for the remaining two competitions.

Still, I find this desperately disappointing. And I've now reached my limit - I've given everything I have to give to the band. There's nothing left. As of the AGM, I'm done. Because I have rights too, and it's time to exercise them.

The Olympics

Not a fan. Sorry.

Firstly, the good: The opening ceremony was fantastic, and was exactly what it should have been. In light of Beijing, and our utter and obvious inability to outdo them in terms of sheer spectacle, it was absolutely the right decision to take the ceremony in a completely different direction. And it was good. I particularly enjoyed both the "Bond" segment and the "Mr Bean" segment.

I also don't object particularly to the spend. It is, generally speaking, right that the UK bid for events of this sort, and that does indeed mean bringing the Olympics to London and, potentially, the World Cup to England. Fair enough. (Although, that said, if the bidding process is corrupt, as I think we must suspect, we should be declining to take part, and very noisily highlighting that corruption. But that's another issue.) And, of course, having won one of these events, we really need to "do it right"... even if with hindsight, I think we would have preferred Paris had had this one.

And I don't really object to the sporting side of the event, although as I've mentioned before, I'm uncomfortable with the way our sporting elite also tends to be our economic elite. I'm also rather uneasy with the emphasis that we place on sport in the first place - we idolise our athletes, our footballers, our (well, England's) cricketers, Andy Murray... but, really, is that where we should be putting our attention? Where are the "math Olympics"? Where are the ultra-high profile celebrations of engineering talent, or industry, or, yes, the NHS and education?

But that's not what really hacks me off...

What really hacks me off is that we have utterly ruined our major sporting events by letting the sponsors get their hands on them, and we have also allowed these extra-national bodies (the IOC and FIFA) far too much power to dictate terms to host nations. Frankly, we should have told them to sod off a long time ago, and if the demands were a necessary prerequisite for hosting the event, then we should not have signed up in the first place.

So, to host the Olympics we required a special law, controlling the use of various Olympics-related terms for advertising purposes, and over and above the normal trademark, copyright, and IP protection laws (which are already draconian)? Sod off. To host the Olympics, we require special lanes set aside in an already-congested London road system (which then cannot be used by the citizens of this country who paid for and own the damn things in the first place)? Sod off. To host the Olympics, we need to disrupt a multitude of already-struggling small businesses, to suit the already-ultra-rich sponsors? Sod off.

The monetary price of the Olympics was high, but was acceptable. But the undignified crawling to the IOC (even if the process actually was fair), the unreasonable acquiescence to their demands, and especially the disgusting suspension of the normal rule of law?

Yeah, that's unacceptable. Not a fan. Sorry.

European Pipe Band Championships 2012

Oh, the week I had...

A week ago last Friday, while LC and I were travelling down to my cousin's wedding (more on which later), the pipe major of the band finally decided that enough was enough, and resigned, effective immediately. To be honest, I couldn't blame him either for doing this or for his timing, nor was it at all surprising. But it did drop me in it, of course.

Over the course of the weekend, before I could get everyone together and try to start rebuilding things, it all kicked off. I guess it's the down-side of things like Facebook - people can say things will an immediacy that wasn't previously available, emails can be sent while angry, and so forth. The upshot was that by the Monday, my already-hard task of getting the band ready for the competition was suddenly that much harder.

So, I spent the week running here and there, speaking to various people, smoothing ruffled feathers, and generally getting things back to some sort of normality.

Anyway, we had two practices, and I was gratified to learn that all the band members who had signed up to go to Ireland were still intending to go to Ireland, and indeed were mostly planning to stick with the band. Unfortunately, though, quite a few people couldn't make it to practices that week - two pipers and more than half of the drum corps were missing. This would come back to bite us.

So, we got ready as best we could. And then, come Friday morning, we got on to the bus at the disgusting hour of 7am. (Which had meant getting up at 5:30, which is pretty evil.)

The journey to Ireland was then mostly uneventful. There was a blessed lack of drunkeness, and things were generally calmer than they had been the previous couple of years. I was actually a lot happier about this trip than I had been.

We arrived at the hotel about 2:30 in the afternoon, got checked in, and spent a little time wandering Belfast city centre, although we had to return to the hotel to avoid a nasty shower. Sadly, the available time wasn't quite enough to do anything meaningful with the time; LC and I will have to return to Belfast some time for a real visit. Later, several members of the band went out for the evening to grab a bite to eat, before returning to the hotel for a pint, and to watch some of the Opening Ceremony (and more on that later, too). And then, bed.

The start of the Saturday did not go well. I had made certain to tell everyone, "meet in reception at 8:45". That gave us plenty of time to get on the bus, get to the competition site, and get set up. 8:45 came and went, and a key member of the band was missing. (We later learned that he hadn't slept well, had therefore slept in, and so was running very late.) After a significant delay, we set off without him.

We got about 300 yards, just far enough to make turning back an impossibility, before we discovered that we didn't have the bus pass needed to get us into the car park. Our travel convenor wasn't on the bus (she had decided to stay in Belfast and join us later), and had forgotten to hand over the pass.

So, we made a call, and she jumped into a taxi to follow us. Meanwhile, the bus carried on, and I desperately hoped they'd let us in anyway... or at least let us unload before banishing the bus. In the event, they let us in... and the travel convenor arrived two minutes later with the now-unnecessary bus pass.

The band were given instructions to gather to get started at 10am. Meanwhile, I went to sign us in and get a programme. And things started to calm down.

We gathered, we proceeded to get ready, and things proceeded... okay. Not great, but okay. This was the point where we really started to suffer from the loss of our previous pipe major, though, because we didn't really have anyone with the expertise to set up the chanters and the drones just so. (For those who aren't experts, a single piper typically has three drones that need to be tuned to match the individual chanter, which can be set to a more-or-less arbitrary frequency; a band requires that all the chanters share the same frequency, and indeed that all the individual notes be adjusted using tape so that they all match, and then that all the drones be set to match.) And the guy who is our next-best option? He was the guy who slept in.

Oh, and of course the people who hadn't made it to the practices were quite far out from where they should have been - an inevitable consequence of missing those practices. So, there was work to be done, and nobody really with the time or expertise to do it. Damn.

About 10:20, our late-sleeping member arrived in a taxi, and started to get ready at some speed. Ten minutes later, we moved round from the bus park to the tuning field, and had our final tuning. The net result? We knew there was still a lot to be done with the pipes, but just had to go with it. But the play... I was reasonably happy with the play. Anyway, the steward came, so it was time to go on.

I remember very little after that. I remember messing up the command to halt (pipe bands, unlike the BB, don't use check-paces, which means everything I know is wrong). I remember shaking as I told the band to relax and enjoy it. And I remember being enormously relieved when it was all over. That's about it.

To be honest, I was delighted just to get on and play. So, once the band was off the competition field, I made sure to thank and congratulate everyone. And then, we waited - because that was just the qualification round, and we might have to do it all again later.

Well, no such luck. They announced the results at 12:30, and we didn't make the cut. This wasn't really a surprise - in Ireland, against all the Irish bands (who are generally very good) it was always going to be a challenge, and that was before the pipe major quit. With that, and everything else we'd been fighting against...

LC and I went for lunch at this point, and ate far too much. We also proceeded to get both rained on and sunburnt, because that was the sort of day it was.

At 2:30, they released the commentary sheets. There were thirteen bands in our qualifying heat, and we were last. We came 11th and 13th in piping, 10th in drumming, and 11th in ensemble. But, to be honest, I wasn't bothered by that in the slightest - I take the view that only the qualifying positions matter, and that the difference between 7th and last is essentially meaningless. (Incidentally, of the six qualifiers from our heat, 5 were Irish. Of the prize-winners in our grade, all six were Irish. That's not a complaint, merely an observation - as I said, the Irish bands are very good.)

What was surprisingly reassuring, though, was the commentary on the feedback sheets. Both judges put a great deal of emphasis on the pipes not really being set up correctly. Which sounds bad, but is actually a good thing - both because we knew that, and also because it's a mechanical thing which is quite easy to fix. The other thing they said was that the play was quite nervy, which is also not surprising. It is, of course, difficult to get people to relax in a situation than that... but I guess that's what we'll need to do.

But the important thing was that this was not the critical mauling that I had feared. And it gives us a platform from which to proceed. If we can get the pipes set up better for the Worlds (which should be easy enough), and if we can just get a bit of confidence into the play, that by itself will be enough for a better result.

The rest of the afternoon dragged past slowly. It would have been good at this point to gather the band back on the bus, return to the hotel, and call it a day at that. Unfortunately, we had sold a number of seats to another band, and they had qualified, so we were stuck there. (There might have been options, but we didn't explore them. Perhaps a mistake.) Still, we waited, and then we did the march past, and then we waited some more. It was somewhat heartening to see two of our local bands win the Grade 2 and Grade 1 contests. Congratulations to them.

We eventually got back to the hotel, LC and I had showers, and then we went for dinner in the hotel restaurant, which was okay. And then we went to bed.

The journey home was largely uneventful, although a few people had a few too many. Still, we got home without any fights, without any travel sickness, and without any great trouble. While on the ferry, I spoke to the committee, and said that I want to lead the band out at both the Worlds and Cowal (since I won't get another chance), but that I'm not a candidate for taking over permanently.

My current plan is to remain in position on an interim basis, until the band finds a new permanent PM. At that point, it is my intention to fade out of the band - firstly by reducing my attendance at practices and by not competing, and then later by giving up my various responsibilities altogether at the end of next year. I've come to the unfortunate realisation that the only time I've really been happy at the band recently is when the PM has been away and I've been in charge... but that I'm also not the right person to take the band forward (and don't have the time or energy besides). So, for the good of the band I have to step aside, but for the good of myself, I don't really want to work with another pipe major (whoever that may be).

There are now two competitions remaining. The Bridge of Allan Highland Games have been cancelled, and any effort to put together a band for a contest on the Saturday have failed (can't say I mind that). That leaves the World Championships in two weeks, and then the dread Cowal in four weeks. After that, the band will take several weeks off, before returning for our AGM.

There was one other really good thing that came out of the weekend: I finally finished "Clear and Present Danger"!

#24: "Clear and Present Danger", by Tom Clancy (the worst book of the year to date)
#25: "Pathfinder: The Island of Empty Eyes", by Neil Spicer
#26: "Pathfinder: The Price of Infamy", by Time Hitchcock

The Dark Knight Rises

Lady Chocolat and I went to see this on Friday, shortly before jumping in the car for a long drive down to England. The short version of my review: it's an outstanding film, and you should go and see it now.

The film is exceptionally well-made. The cast is universally excellent, the special effects are seamless, and all in all it's just about perfect. There are a couple of issues with the sound - firstly, the score is so loud that both LC and I left with headaches that took quite some time to subside; and some of the dialogue from Bane can be hard to follow at times. Which is a shame, because this Bane is very different from the one in "Batman & Robin", and actually has significant dialogue.

Some of the early reviews of this film have claimed that the film is almost incoherent. I can only presume that the reviewers weren't paying attention, or perhaps didn't realise that this was a film that actually has a plot, beyond the standard action-movie excuses for blowing things up. Either that, or they just didn't like it, but wanted to dress that up in fancy words. But actually, the film hangs together extremely well, with characters having actual motivations, with the twists being both surprising at the time and yet obvious in hindsight, and with the whole being greater than the sum of its parts.

"The Dark Knight Rises" is very much a piece with "Batman Begins" and "The Dark Knight" (such that if you didn't see those films, don't bother watching this one). It's also very definitely the conclusion of a trilogy - this film picks up dangling plot threads from the first and second film, resolves some and continues others, but it also generally comes to an end. I can see a way for them to continue the story if they so wished... but if they never do then it will remain entirely satisfying and complete.

Now, about that plot... (I'm going to avoid spoilers, so feel free to read on.)

I found the first half or so of the film almost unwatchably painful, but in a good way - the director and actors did a marvellous job in setting the scene, in gradually stripping away all the comforts that normally surround Bruce Wayne/Batman, and in generally taking things to a very, very dark place. It's rough, it's horrible, and it made me want to run screaming from the cinema. I don't think any other film has ever had quite that impact on me (even "The Descent", the only film so scary I had to pause it and take a break).

And then there's the Rise. Because, of course, this is a superhero film, and the end of a trilogy - it's just not done to drop down into Hell and then stop there (though that would be awesome). Without going into spoiler territory, I can't say much more than that, but I can say that I found the conclusion of the film to be suitably epic, to be extremely satisfying, and to make a lot of sense within the context of the film. Good stuff.

I do have three nitpicks with the plot, but I can't go into them without spoilers. So if you want to know, ask me about it some time. They are really nitpicks, though, and don't have too much impact on the whole.

The big question remains, though: is this better than "Avengers Assemble"? And the answer is yes... and no... and yes... and no. Basically, it's like asking which is better: a hammer or ice cream - they're so fundamentally different, and each so excellent in their own way, that it's really not possible to pick a winner. I enjoyed AA more... but found DKR more satisfying as a whole.

Ultimately, I'm just glad we have both. Truly, fans of superheroes have been spoiled this year.

This Weekend, I...

This weekend I finally contacted Sky and cancelled my contract. Which I feel is quite quick and efficient, given that I've only been talking about it for about three years, since "Lost" and "24" ended. The guy on the phone did try to talk me around, but he didn't try very hard - a 25% discount for 6 months really doesn't bridge a 168-hour gap in their weekly schedule. The one thing I will miss is the ability to record things - will need to look into some sort of Freeview/Freeset recorder.

This weekend I mentally checked out of band. Just as I thought things were getting better the battlelines were drawn again. And I'm not interested in fighting to make things better if I'm doing it alone. There needs to be a spirit of compromise, or there's no point. (It doesn't help that I haven't been enjoying the playing side for the couple of months since Dunbar, and I'm certainly not enjoying the administration side.) I don't really want to leave, as I feel this is as much my band as anyone's, but it's come to a point where I don't want to stay either. So, I'll give them until the end of the season, but if things don't dramatically improve, I'll be walking away at that point.

This weekend I tried to spend the gift vouchers I got for my birthday, with mixed success. The HMV gift card went on the blu-ray of the "Muppets" movie, which remains good fun. I especially enjoyed all the parody trailers on the disc, and also the previews for "Brave" and "Planes". The deleted scenes were a mixed bag, but mostly I was glad that the plot of the show was changed, leading to their removal.

However, I failed to use my Waterstone's vouchers. The store in Falkirk had one book I decided I wanted, but I decided to try the one in Glasgow and pick it up there. The store in Glasgow didn't have the book in question (typical), and while it did have a book I was kinda-sorta interested in... I decided to hold onto the vouchers and consider using them later. After all, there's no rush. (Ironically, the book I do want is "Conquerer" by Conn Iggulden, which comes out in paperback today. However, Tesco will probably have it for £3, rather than the £8 price at Waterstone's. So, no voucher there.)

This weekend I went to the Kelvingrove museum, where I had all sorts of great ideas for the next chapter of the game. Which is lucky, since I was supposed to do two hours of prep work this weekend, and utterly failed.

This weekend, Lady Chocolat and I rewatched "Batman Begins" and "The Dark Knight", in preparation for Batman-day. Surprisingly, I found I enjoyed the first of the two more than the second; although "The Dark Knight" is an outstanding film, and Heath Ledger in particular is brilliant, it was extremely long and actually felt quite tiring. However, I don't know what they could consider removing to improve it, since everything in the film is essential to the film. I'm also a little concerned that "The Dark Knight Rises" may be labouring under "Phantom Menace"-level expectations; between the first two films in the trilogy, and the need to beat "Avengers Assemble", it has a massive job to do.

This weekend, we also played through a significant portion of "Lego Pirates of the Caribbean". It was good fun, except for one particularly frustrating section. (Seriously, three-dimensional jumping puzzles on a two-dimensional screen, when you don't have control over the camera? Whose idea was that?) We've now made our way through "Dead Man's Chest", which managed to be better than the film, in the same manner as the first "Lego Star Wars" game.

This weekend, I got a haircut. It's funny how you don't realise how untidy it has become until it gets tidied up.

And that's pretty much it. For all that this weekend was supposed to be a really quiet one, we got an awful lot done. And it was mostly good. Mostly.

They're Building a Helipad at Roses

Okay, so I spent most of yesterday depressed, bored, and angry. You may have noticed.

Fortunately, the band had a gig yesterday at which it appeared that the clouds are beginning to lift. We even managed to find the half hour this week when it stopped raining. (Next week's break in the rain is scheduled for the Saturday...)

Anyway, LC has made me promise to make today's blog post (or posts) light-hearted and funny. So, reform of the House of Lords, then...

As for the title of this post. In Edinburgh at the moment, there are roadworks on Quality Street.