Experimental Cookery 2012: Lamb, Chickpea, and Pear Tagine

This one came from Lorraine Pascale's "Home Cooking Made Easy". It was the combination of the lamb and the pears that persuaded me to give it a try - that's an intriguing combination, is it not?

(Incidentally, it's technically not a "tagine". According to my sauces (my advisers in all culinary matters), a tagine is named for a special pot in which the dish is cooked. This meal was cooked in the same large pot I use for everything else, making it... something else. But not a tagine.)

The meal was easy to prepare - chop everything, coat the lamb, brown the lamb, add the rest, cook for 5, simmer, add the pears, and simmer again. See, easy! It was also quite quick to prepare, although the two simmer steps were an hour, and then fifteen minutes, in duration. The result was enough food for six meals. Oh, and it was served with couscous.

So, how was it?

Well, sadly, it was a bit of a disappointment. The meal had plenty of flavour, but I'm not entirely convinced it was a flavour I particularly liked. There was nothing particularly wrong with it, it was just... meh.

I'm now going to have to take a little break from the Experimental Cookery for a while - our freezer is now full to overflowing with food, and we'll need to spend some time eating down our stocks before I can do anything more. Hopefully, I'll be able to get back to it before the end of the year. (Or world, whichever comes first.)

#34: "Pyramids", by Terry Pratchett

The Fourth Greatest Sci-fi Show Ever...

I finished re-watching "Battlestar Galactica" last weekend. And I was very glad to see it come to an end - although the show had some good material throughout, it was outstanding for the first season and a half and then suffered a massive drop in quality, to the extent that the final two seasons have always felt disappointing in comparison.

For my next effort, I'm rewatching "Space: Above and Beyond", a short-lived sci-fi show that is very similar in many respects. Except that it's really not very good. That will probably take me through until about February, after which I'm strongly considering rewatching "Babylon 5" - it's been far too long.

Oh, and for what it's worth, the three shows I rate more highly than BSG are "Doctor Who", "Star Trek", and "Babylon 5". "Firefly" would also certainly be on that list, but unfortunately it was cancelled far too soon (to be on the list, or just in general).

Automated Messages

I've ranted about this before, probably several times, but it still annoys me. And, indeed, the annoyance has justed reached a new level, so I'm going to rant about it again.

Telesales calls are an annoyance. Somewhat more annoying is the fact that BT recently put us on their Privacy Guard service, which claimed to cut out 90% of such calls, and it's made absolutely no difference. Even more annoying are those telesales calls that are an automated message, generally offering to chase up your payment protection claim. (And, seriously, why do they feel the need to call us with the same automated message every single day, and often multiple times in the day?) It has become a daily routine, on getting home, to check the messages on the answering machine and, almost invariably, to immediately delete them all within a second of hearing that automated message.

Actually, it has reached the point where I have strongly considered just getting rid of our home phone entirely. We'd still have the phone line, for internet purposes, but no actual phone unit attached to it (legally, we'd need to keep one for emergency use, but it doesn't need to be kept attached - and even that's purely a technicality these days). We'd then inform anyone and everyone we care to hear from of our mobile phone numbers, and advise them not to call the landline...

But it's never quite got to that point, mostly because there genuinely are cases where people might want/need to call us at home. Besides, the truth is that I don't quite find telesales calls annoying enough to take this step... and anyway, as a matter of principle, I refuse to be bullied into getting rid of my phone.

Not that it would help anyway. (And here's the bit where the annoyance grows...) Because like everyone else, I now get periodic telesales text messages from various companies. Generally, this includes a "text STOP to..." rider to end the messages, but that's a lie too - you've just confirmed your number, so they proceed to move you from their 'fishing' database to their 'real' databases, which are just mobile enough to dodge around the laws about nuisance calls/texts. Basically, you just have to grit your teeth, delete the messages, and bear it.

But this morning, for the first time, I received an automated telesales call to my mobile phone. Bastards!

(Actually, I think the thing that pisses me off most about this is not quite the companies that make the calls, the automated calls themselves, or anything like that. It's that some other company, presumably one that I have done business with in the past, have taken my details, including my phone number, and proceeded to sell these on to the telesales companies. In return for my giving them my business, they have proceeded to enable others to make my life that little bit worse - permanently.)

In fact, this is the point at which I think such calls should simply be made illegal, on a wholesale manner. Not better regulated, not placed on a strict opt-out basis (as opposed to today's crap not-quite-opt-out option), and not reduced. They need to simply be made illegal.

Why? It's the combination of it being a call, and being to mobile phones.

See, email spam is a nuisance, but it comes in, the computer goes "bing", the reminder icon appears... and that's it. It then sits there until you're ready to deal with it, whereupon you delete it. Yes, it's annoying, but it's an annoyance you deal with in your own time.

Text spam is likewise a nuisance, but again it comes in, the phone plays its alert and starts to flash, but again you can deal with it in your own time.

But a ringing phone isn't like that. A ringing phone must be answered. It's not something for you to deal with in your own time, it interrupts whatever you're doing and forces you to operate on their schedule. (And, of course, most companies deliberately choose to call when it's least convenient for you, because that gives the best chance that you'll actually be in.)

Even so, offensive as that it it didn't drive me to that position, although for purely selfish reasons - I don't receive these calls in large volume, and most often deal with them on the answering machine... where the same considerations as for emails and texts apply.

But once they graduate to mobile telephones, that no longer applies. Now, they can call me anytime, anywhere. And, unlike with the landline, I take my mobile phone everywhere with me - I basically never leave it behind. Indeed, the only times it is switched off is when I'm in church, the cinema, at the doctor/dentist, or on a plane.

Leaving the mobile behind isn't really a viable solution. Not answering it is likewise generally not a viable solution, because as noted above, a ringing phone demands to be answered. And although hanging up on an automated message is a matter of seconds, breaking my concentration and breaking my train of thought isn't a simply matter of picking up where I left off - a few seconds of telephone call can mean as much as 15 minutes lost as I get back "in the zone". (And that's not hyperbole, or even exaggeration.)

So that's it. Once I'm appointed ruler of the universe next week, my second* act will be to outlaw these telesales calls, first to mobile phones, then automated messages, and then altogether. With the strongest of penalties for those companies who use such tactics, those companies who subcontract with extra-national companies for this purpose (thus dodging around UK law on the matter), and those companies who sell on customers' details for this purpose (and especially to any extra-national body).

* My first act will be to eliminate the position of ruler of the universe. That's too much power for any one person to have.

The Best Thing Ever...

Did I ever mention that we finally cancelled the Sky subscription? I know I'd been talking about it for years, since "24" and "Lost" finished in fact (yikes!), but we finally got around to cancelling it back in June, and reached the end of the cancellation period in July.

We lasted less than 24 hours before missing it. The reason for this was quite simple: we were still using the Sky box to view TV (as it had more channels than Freeview), and the TV Guide continued to show all the channels, giving an overwhelming impression of "here's what you could have won!" Plus, we no longer had the ability to record TV, which was a pain.

So, after some deliberation, we purchased a Freeset HD recorder. We went for Freesat for two reasons: more HD channels, and we already had the dish set up from the Sky subscription. So, it was just a case of removing one box and replacing it with the other.

Which is great. We can once again record TV, we now have "Doctor Who" in HD (although, frankly, I can't tell the difference), and all is well.

But what the Freesat box also gives us is iPlayer through the TV.

Now, I've mentioned iPlayer before, in the context of watching "Birdsong" on my laptop, which I found rather unimpressive - the screen was too small, the headphones were annoying, and the buffering was a... pain.

(Yes, it is the same joke. I like it a lot.)

But on the TV the first two of these are eliminated, while the issue with the buffering is also dealt with - apparently that was at least partly due to the wireless network speed, and the Freesat box uses a wired link, so it's faster. Granted, the picture quality isn't great on such a large screen, but it's okay.

And suddenly iPlayer has gone from being something I almost never use to being the Best. Thing. Ever.

Experimental Cookery 2012: Spiced Beef Stir-fry topped with Spring Onoin and Coriander

Way back in Part One, in the last week of my time at my first job, the office canteen served piri-piri chicken. I think it may well have been my second-last day there. Anyway, the chicken was, in theory, extremely nice. I could tell that it was very close to being excellent, and could readily detect the potential in the meal.

Unfortunately, it was almost inedible, rendered that way by a single miscalculation. The meal had been made with way too much chilli, and so it was incredibly hot, that heat drowing out every other flavour in the food. It was a crying shame, really, as it could have been great.

The reason I bring this up is that last night's Experimental Cookery attempt suffered from exactly the same issue (though I'm not sure it was the chilli that was the problem). It was constructed of great ingredients, it was nice and simple to make, and it was possible to tell that it should have been good.

But it wasn't really spiced beef stir-fry - a better name would have been NUCLEAR beef stir-fry. It was actually painful to eat.

The recipe came from "Chinese Food Made Easy" by Ching-He Huang, a book that I don't use often, but with which I've had some considerably success in the past. I followed the recipe exactly, so I'm more than a little surprised at the outcome. (Indeed, I was actually worried that there might not be enough spice mix for all the beef. In the event, I needn't have worried!)

But the absolute worst thing about this was that the recipe called for fillet steak, which I got but only at great expense. So, not only did the recipe go wrong, but it was already a horribly expensive meal to produce. (However, I am determined to try to rescue some of the leftovers for lunch tomorrow. I reckon that once they're dry they should be somewhat less hot, and if I pair them with a suitably bland cous-cous, I may be okay. Maybe. Hopefully.)

I won't be doing this one again (obviously). In addition, with future beef stir-fries, I think I'll be keeping away from the expensive beef fillet steaks. The meal was of outstanding quality, but standard frying steak must, surely, be good enough?

Anyway, never mind. I was probably due for another culinary disaster.

The Book is Better

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a book in possession of a film adaptation must be in want of a better film adaptation.

Or something like that, anyway. Although, in actual fact, it's incorrect to say that the book will always be better. Instead, where there are multiple formats, the first will always be better - a film adaptation of a book will generally suck, but so too will "the book of the film". And don't get me started on films adapted from computer games or, worse still, computer games derived from films.

The reason for this, in large part, is that different media have different requirements. What works in prose doesn't necessarily work on the screen, while converting the primarily visual (and often quite visceral) film experience to the page tends to fall flat. And, of course, most novels are too long, too complex, and have too many characters to fit well in a 2-hour film - most films are much closer to short stories in scope.

And so, changes are necessary. Characters must be collapsed, plot lines removed entirely, the story simplified. That's not "dumbing down" necessarily - it's just a requirement for the film to be less than 5 hours long. (And, conversely, writing the book of the film requires adding a whole lot of padding that's just not in the film. The problem being that that padding can't add anything substantive to the plot, and so is just wasted space.)

But changing things for the adaptation can never make them better. Because what I get out of the book is probably not exactly what Peter Jackson gets out of the book, and his changes therefore leave Faramir not ringing true (at least in "Two Towers"). Or you have my friend Roger considering the presence of Elves at Helm's Deep to be an unforgivable error, because it utterly changes the dynamic (of Man standing alone and isolated for the first time). Or whatever.

The consequence of this is that you're stuck with all the weaknesses of the original, you're stuck with the weaknesses inherent in the change of format, and anything that you do to try to mitigate these is also a weakness. The best you can hope for, the very best that can be achieved, is a companion piece that is as good as the original.

(I should note that that assumes you start with a good book, or film, or whatever. Theoretically, if you start with a book that had potential but was executed badly, you could make a superior "cover version". But who's going to fund a film adaptation for a bad book?)

Now, it is worth noting that some adaptations are more worthwhile than others. "The Time Traveller's Wife" is an example of a poor adaptation - the film almost requires you to have read the book to make sense, but if you've read the book then there's no value in the film. (And, further, the film compresses the emotional heart of the novel almost out of existence. Not the best move, really.)

The three "Lord of the Rings" films, despite their changes, are examples of good adaptations, capturing at least the heart of the books. Although it's noticable that the weakest parts of the films tend to be those invented for the films - the bridges in Khazad-Dum, Aragorn's fall and rebirth in "The Two Towers", and so on. (Which doesn't bode too well for "The Hobbit", but that's another rant.)

Then there are the occasional adaptations that actually bring something new to the table. I watched the film of "Atonement" a couple of years ago, and it was no better than okay. But over the weekend, as I finished the book, I found that some of what I remembered from the film gave a better appreciation of what the author was getting at in the novel, which was interesting.

And then there's the 'definitive' adaptation - the version that sets the standard for all that follow, and indeed adjust the way you imagine the book as you go on. I refer, of course, to "Pride and Prejudice", in which Darcy now looks like Colin Firth.

(This last was a little amusing, as the copy I read actually had a picture of Keira Knightley on the cover, from a different film adaptation. And, actually, "Atonement" also had Keira Knightley on the cover... I wonder if she'll also be on the cover of "Anna Karenina" if and when I read that?)

#33: "Atonement", by Ian McEwan (A book from The List. And, somewhat surprisingly, the new best book of the year - a thoroughly satisfying read.)

Inspiration Strikes!

Everyone knows the story of Archimedes' "Eureka!" moment. And likewise, everyone knows about Newton and the apple. Because they're cool and interesting stories, even if they are about physics.

Unfortunately, they also give two badly false impressions. The first is that that's the full extent of the story - Newton saw an apple fall, and the notion of gravity (and all that goes with it) popped into his head. That is, science is a matter of inspiration.

The second false impression is that science is, or should be, fundamentally easy - breakthroughs are just a matter of getting into the bath. And so, if you find it hard, you must therefore be terribly stupid, or doing it wrong, or whatever.

But here's the reality: Archimedes and Newton were amongst the finest scientific minds in the world at the time. They had spend days, weeks, years thinking about the specific problem that they solved, on top of further days, weeks, years, decades of dealing with similar or contributory problems.

And the problems they were solving are now things we teach to school-children.

That's the nature of the beast. Science is hard, and requires a great deal of thought and effort. What's more, it's not a matter of inspiration - you don't suddenly have a flash of insight as a lightbulb appears over your head (fortunately, since both Archimedes and Newton predated Edison). Instead, it's a matter of absorbing obscene amounts of knowledge, training your mind to think in particular patterns and particular paths, and then if you're very lucky you get the moment of insight as everything fits together. (More commonly, you spend years finding hundreds of ways not to build a lightbulb before hitting on the right way. And then some assistant drops it.)

I bring this up because twice in the last two days I've startled LC when I've had moments of insight as I solved work-related problems while doing other things. Which I daresay was rather unsettling for her, but in both cases it was a matter of some huge relief to me as the pieces suddenly lined up neatly.

Not Really the Best of Both Worlds

One of the more surprising facets of married life is that the bread now seems to go off with distressing regularity. This is most annoying when I get to work and find little green dots on my sandwiches. Grr.

Now, it's important to note that this disaster is not, as might first be supposed, due to witchcraft. And, frankly, I'm disappointed in you all for thinking that.

No, the bread issue is caused by two factors:

1. LC has insisted on us storing the bread in a rather lovely bread bin we got as a wedding gift (thanks!), rather than in the fridge where it belongs.
2. We had (until now) switched to Hovis' "Best of Both" bread, which promised the taste of white bread combined with the goodness of brown.

Unfortunately, as with all things, there are trade-offs. In this case, in return for all these wonders, it definitely appears that the "Best of Both" goes off at a rate somewhat higher than either standard brown or white bread. And given that we typically get through a little over a loaf in a week, that's a fairly key issue.

So, we'll not be getting that again. Instead, future loaves will be one or the other, probably depending on whether LC comes with me when I do the shopping.

Truth be told, I'm not to unhappy to see the "Best of Both" go. I never really believed their claim that it gave all the goodness of brown bread. And, frankly, I found that it didn't really taste of anything at all. Granted, I generally find that that's true of all white bread, but there it is. In fact, I generally thought the "Best of Both" was at its best right before it went off. Which is probably not for the best, really.

(Of course, I have a secret ambition of just stopping buying bread altogether, and baking it myself. But I think the odds are rather against that! It's somewhere on the list down below homemade pizza bases.)

#31: "Pathfinder: From Hell's Heart", by Jason Nelson
#32: "Pathfinder: Shards of Sin", by Greg A. Vaughan

Experimental Cookery 2012: Spicy Lamb Burgers

This one came from "River Cottage Every Day". Other than involving the toasting and then grinding of quite a few spices, it was dead easy. However, it was a bit time-consuming, especially since there was a "leave for 1 hour" step in there! The resulting burgers were very nice, although I found mine to be a bit too spicy. Still, there was a nice cooling yoghurt to go with it, and some salad, so that was okay. I'm sure we'll be doing these again at some point, although perhaps more for barbeque weather than just for general use - I think I prefer the classic beef burgers that Jamie has me making.

Competition Season Wash-up 2012

It's been a rotten year. We started the season with the highest of hopes - the band was playing well, we'd recruited a number of new, stronger players, and everything seemed set for a good year.

But the performance at Dunbar was bad, and the result equally disappointing. And then the result at the Scottish was likewise bad. At that point, a mere three weeks in, it was already apparent that the band weren't going to succeed to any great extent.

It was downhill from there. The new players we had recruited gradually drifted away - they had been promised a band that was going places, and that obviously wasn't the case, so off they went. There were increased rumblings of discontent against the Pipe Major (some fair, many not), especially surrounding a ceilidh that should never have gotten as far as it did. The British Championships were another bad result.

The band took a break at that point, intending to come back strong for the European Championships. Instead, things came to a head, and the Pipe Major quit.

And so, I was left holding the bag, with a week to go before Ireland, with a band in pieces, and with some other commitments to deal with.

But, if the truth be told, that couple of weeks was probably the happiest I had with the band this year. That was the spell when I led the band out to the Wheel's anniversary celebrations and met Princess Anne, I led the band out to several events in Linlithgow, and I led the band out in Ireland, something I had never expected to do, but was glad to get the chance to do at least once.

And then came the election of a new Pipe Major, which I've discussed before and won't go into again. That was the point where I finally decided that my time with the band was over. Events since then have convinced me that it's the right decision, and a good last week and relatively good Cowal hasn't changed my mind. I just hope the band will be in a strong position to carry on without me.

The Worlds was a bad competition, for many reasons. Cowal was a considerably better competition. And it does look like the band could do better next year. (Really, it could go either way.)

But the worst aspect of the season is something I've barely mentioned all year, because it concerns something that hasn't happened. After a very promising start, the Development Band effectively ceased to exist this year due to a lack of drummers. And that's entirely our own fault - our lead drummer refused to take on learners, he refused to let one of 'his' drummers take time out to teach them, and even sent away those learners that we had. So we never had a chance. A real shame, that.

There's a practice tonight, and I think another on Thursday (though I won't be attending the latter - LC needs the car, and I could do with the break). After that comes the AGM. All that remains is for me to conclude the business of the band as well as I can now, and then tender my resignation is as good a manner as I can.

Cowal Highland Gathering 2012

At the start of the season, we had hoped that Cowal would not be our last competition of the year. However, we quickly found that those competitions in September didn't include an event in our grade, and so were unsuitable. But then, a few competitions were cancelled, and some rescheduled... in the end, it turns out that Cowal was indeed the end.

Which, to be honest, is A Good Thing. This has been an absolutely brutal season, and being done with it is something of a relief.

Fortunately, Cowal itself was okay this year. Not great, which is too much to hope for in any case, but okay.

With no Development Band this year (boo!) and the 4A band not playing until 14:57, we didn't have to leave until an almost civilised hour - my pick-up was at 8:45 (although the bus was early - I was lucky I caught it!). And then on to the ferry, and on to Dunoon. We were there just after 11, and free until 1pm. So I sought out an early lunch, enjoyed the glorious sunshine, regretted not wearing any sunblock, and read "The Great Gatsby".

At 1pm, we started getting ready. In truth, this was far too early, but it was a necessary step following the Worlds, given all the work that was required on the chanters. Even so, one of our members had to be dropped due to his chanter just breaking down completely. A shame - the Pipe major had hoped not to drop anyone on the last outing.

As we made ready, some spots of light rain fell. Still, it stayed dry while we played. We played well, probably giving our best showing of the season. It wasn't a prize-winning performance, but we'd known that going in. But, still, a decent performance.

And then we waited some more.

Now, as you may well know, there have been controversies in the past at Cowal over the question of whether or not we would march down the street. Had I been in charge at this one, it had been my intention to do the parade. However, the new pipe major was rather less keen. This created an issue; there was one parent in particular for whom the issue meant a huge amount. (And, for various reasons, she was taking things particularly hard at the moment. But that's not for me to relate.)

So, there was a rant, and tears, and the pipe major and lead drummer relented, and we were doing the march. Huzzah.

We went on for the march past, and as we finished our circuit the rain started. And then, just as the chieftain started his speech, the rain really started. And it poured, and poured, and poured. We got utterly, thoroughly soaked. And, naturally, they had chosen a chieftain who decided that now was the time to be particularly chatty. At length, he finished... only for the mic to be handed to the head of the RSPBA... who proved much more chatty than his predecessor in the role. And then, the mic was handed on again, this time to the head of the Cowal organising committee... who proved to be another chatty man.

Then came the prize giving, which went on very, very slowly.

GET ON WITH IT!

Eventually, we learned that we had not, in fact, won a prize. We came 11th - 14th and 11th for piping, 4th fro drumming, and 12th for ensemble, out of 15 in our grade.

And then we went and did the parade. Oddly, despite the rain and general unpleasantness, the parade was quite good fun. True, I could have done without the woman who stepped out of the crownd just long enough to grab my ass, but I guess that's Cowal - come for the piping, stay for the sexual harrassment. We completed the parade, and that was that.

We got back to the bus, and waited for the police to clear us to move out. And waited, and waited. We could have done the parade again in the time we waited, but no matter. Eventually, we were off.

And this year there was no incident. The journey home was long and tedious, and not helped by being too dark to read, but it was uneventful - and then it was over.

I finally arrived home at 11:45, spent a little time peeling off my wet clothes to let them dry, a bit more time winding down, and then got to bed about 12:30.

And that was Cowal, which turned out to be a relatively high note on which to end the season, and a relatively good experience with which to bow out of the band.

Experimental Cookery 2012: Popular Pizza Pies (Calzone)

This one comes from the Hairy Biker's "Perfect Pies", which I picked up on a whim from Tesco some months ago, and hadn't yet found opportunity to use. A calzone, in case you're not aware, is essentially a folded pizza - it looks something like a Cornish pasty, but with an entirely different set of ingredients within. In theory, they're lovely.

I'm not going to lie to you: this one's a bit involved. Putting the dough together takes a good 20 minutes, and requires some work. It then needs to be left an hour to rise, most of which I found was taken up in making the sauce and frying up some ingredients (they recommend mushrooms and salami, but given LC's unreasoning prejudice against fungi, I instead opted for chorizo and red pepper; we're going to be experimenting in the future).

Anyway, mix, knead, rise... chop, fry, stir... wait, wait, wait...

Putting it all together was relatively nice and easy, then there was a fold, a roll, and more waiting while the seal fixes. Then brush it with oil, and put it in the oven for 25 minutes.

We cooked them in two batches, and elected to eat from the second batch (due to timing). As the first batch came from the oven, LC's reaction was "oh wow..." Yes, they look good. Indeed, see for yourself:

So, then... how was it?

In one word: excellent.

In several more words, it was pretty much ideal - the crust was nicely browned and cooked, the filling was hot and suitably intense. All in all, it was a winner. Certainly, it blew Tesco's equivalent out of the water quite spectacularly. (And, fortunately, we have four left over to freeze. Huzzah!) We're definitely going to be having these again, and will no doubt put them into the rotation (along with the curries, lasagne, burgers, etc - those things that we make up in a batch and then freeze for later).

Two things, though: we're going to have to do some experimentation with the fillings. The chorizo and red peppers were great, but there are so many options out there to be tried, and no reason not to experiment. And LC noted that they would have benefitted with something to dip the crust in; a barbeque sauce or similar.

Tonight, we opted to have a calzone each and a few chips as an accompaniment. In future, I think they might be better served to have one between us, a few more chips, and a salad or similar as a side. One each was great, but it did feel a bit too much.

Anyway, it's a winner. Recommended.

One other consequence of this is that I find myself inspired. Jamie, Hugh, and Lorraine all do pizzas in their books, and they're all much the same as the Biker's calzone. And I do like a good pizza. So, I'm just going to give them a go, and see if they supplant store bought, or even takeaway, pizzas in my affections. Of course, there's a danger inherent in that, as I found when I did the burgers... if they're too good, they'll leave me entirely dissatisfied with convenience burgers, while at the same time not really having time to do the job 'properly' every time. Oh well, I guess it's quite a nice problem to have.

#29: "Pride and Prejudice", by Jane Austen (the #1 book on The List!)
#30: "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald (a book from The List)

My Favourite Weather

I'm much more a winter person than a summer. Simply put, I don't like being too hot. But I do actually like the sunshine.

So, my favourite days are the ones you sometimes get in winter, when the air is freezing cold but the sun is bright in a cloudless sky. When it's pleasant to go out for a walk, albeit bundled up warm, but when your breath fogs in the air, and your footsteps lighty crunch through the light frost.

Conversely, you get days like today, when it is hot and sticky, but the sky is horribly overcast and it's miserable and wet. Those are probably the days I like least, being the worst of all possible worlds.

Buying Presents for a Six-Year-Old Boy

"He likes Tranformers, Lego and Superheroes." So, yeah, that's going to be a tough one.

In order to achieve this mighty quest, we went on Friday to our local toy store, which is less than ten minutes' walk from the flat. Once there, I proceeded to pick out the thing that most screamed out to my inner child to buy. Strictly speaking, there was a need to look out for something fitting the theme, but given that Transformers, Lego, and Superheroes are all inherently awesome, that's not so much a limitation as just a given.

Frankly, the only difficulty is choosing which of the three to get. And even that's less difficult than it seems: you can now get superhero-themed Lego (both DC and Marvel, which is even more awesome), and near-Lego Transformers.

The only problem is that modern Lego is just too awesome. Lego "Star Wars", Lego "Pirates of the Caribbean", Lego superheroes, Lego "Lord of the Rings"... It's a good thing they also put maximum ages on the box, or I could have spent a fortune in there!

Oh, and finally: Happy Birthday nephew #1!

Three Films

So last week, as part of our ongoing cultural exchange, I finally persuaded Lady Chocolat to watch "Highlander", "Independence Day", and "The Terminator". The results were distinctly mixed.

I hadn't watched "Highlander" for several years, pretty much since I first got the DVD. And it just hasn't aged well. It probably didn't help that it's actually one of the worst DVDs I own, in terms of sound and picture quality; even the otherwise-excellent soundtrack was distinctly patchy. We watched for fifteen increasingly-uncomfortably minutes, before I suggested abandoning it.

"Independence Day", on the other hand, was a rousing success. We watched the special edition version, with the 9 minutes of restored footage (which, to be honest, don't add anything). And it was good - better than I remembered, in fact. It's an easy film to mock, what with the whole "defeat the aliens with a MacBook" climax, but if taken as a big, stupid blockbuster, it's actually well done. (Plus, it blows "The Day After Tomorrow" and especially "2012" out of the water, so that's something.)

And then there was "The Terminator", which LC had particularly resisted because of the bad taste left by "Terminator 3", the one film in the series that she had watched. (Also the worst film in the series, although opinion seems to be divided between that and "Salvation".) Anyway, T1 was another film I hadn't watched in years, again, probably since just after I first got the DVD.

We got about 50 minutes into this one, and LC was actually enjoying it a great deal (as expected...) when suddenly the film just froze. I tried cleaning the disk a couple of times, but to no avail. It seems that disk rot has taken it. So, we'll try to borrow a copy to watch the rest at some point, and then that's probably another one to upgrade to blu-ray when it is released.

(But why, oh why, couldn't the disk rot take the bad films instead? It's not like there's a shortage in my collection - there are two "Transformers" films and two "Dungeons & Dragons" films it can take, for starters! Plus the aforementioned T3, and indeed at least one of the "Highlander" sequels they never made.)

Irreplaceable

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I was extremely surprised by how good the Olympics Opening Ceremony was. I was also somewhat shocked at just how well Team GM did at the games themselves. They excelled themselves, winning huge numbers of medals, and really improving the mood of the country.

It was bizarre. It was almost as if the country had taken a two-week holiday from its usual mediocrity.

In which case, last night's Closing Ceremony was the clearest possible indication that the holiday is over, and it's time to go back to things being rather pants.

I must admit, though, I was really impressed. When talking about it earlier in the day, I jokingly said that there could be worse things than the Spice Girls performing... only to admit that, no, there couldn't. That truly was the nadir, below which nothing worse was possible.

Turns out that I was wrong, a point made very, very clearly when Russell Brand came on. Dear oh dear.

Anyway, the Spice Girls were on, and they were just as awful as expected. I particularly liked the way they were miming, badly, and they hadn't bothered to get a good recording to use. It was almost as if they were being intentionally awful.

And despite this, worse was to come...

I have a certain amount of respect for Brian May and Roger Taylor for trying to soldier on with Queen despite the loss of their friend. Unfortunately, all they've achieved is to demonstrate that Freddie Mercury truly is irreplaceable. With the sole exception of their collaboration with George Michael, every "guest star" they have had since has resulted in the desecration of one of their classics. And last night's collaboration with Jessie J was no exception.

Actually, I suspect that's inevitable. When doing a cover version, you will always be compared with the original, and the better the original the harsher the criticism. That's why, when doing a cover version, you should always choose a song that had potential but where the original actually sucked, or something that was good but obscure. But under no circumstances should you attempt to cover something by Queen, because you're just not Freddie Mercury.

But the worst thing about that was not that the performance was woeful. The worst thing was that it was utterly unnecessary. Virutally nobody was performing live (including, I think, Brian May himself) - they were all performing to pre-recorded tracks. Which is fine - when the audience numbers in the billions, it takes nerves of steel to play live (if they even had that option).

However... if the vocals aren't live anyway, then Queen didn't need a "guest star" - just use footage of Freddie from when Queen were in concert. It's not like they didn't have it - they played such footage immediately before Queen took to the stage, as if to taunt us with what we were missing. ("Let's see what you could have won!")

But then, the organisers were already facing the problem that the highlight of their celebration of British music had come from Eric Idle, a comedian rather than a musician. Perhaps they felt it would have just been too much of a damning indictment to let a 20-year-dead icon steal the show.

Still, this has given a great idea to send to the BBC: they should do a 'talent' show in which Andrew Lloyd Webber leads the search for a singer/singwriter to create a new, more appropriate National Anthem for the country - a cheesy-pop number encapsulating that most British of themes, "we're a bit shit really, but we do our best".

(Oh, and yes, I did indeed just say that the performance by Queen was worse than the Spice Girls. Because the Spice Girls were no more awful than was always expected, but Queen's performance was an outright assault on something that should be awesome.)

Experimental Cookery 2012: Decadent Rosemary & Worcestershire Sauce Shepherd's Pie

Shepherd's Pie has something of a chequered past with me. Years ago, we used to be given store-bought Shepherd's Pie from the freezer aisle, and it was awful. Worse even than fish; this was the meal that I truly hated.

Time went by, and we stopped getting those frozen foods. And, eventually, Dad took up cooking Shepherd's Pie from a Coleman's sachet mix. Which was very nice - one of my favourites.

Well, except for one thing: technically, it wasn't Shepherd's Pie - he used beef mince, which made it Cottage Pie - close, but not the same.

The upshot of all of that being that this is actually the first time I've had a real, home-cooked Shepherd's Pie.

The recipe for this one came from Lorraine Pascale's book "Home Cooking Made Easy", which is one of the more approachable cookery books that I have. The only criticism that I have of this book, and it's a 'flaw' shared by most of them, is that there's a whole lot of work hidden in the list of ingredients, most of which require some preparation before use. (One of the major points in favour of Jamie's "Ministry of Food", in fact, is that he breaks this prep-work out into a separate section.)

Still, that's a quibble. The actual recipe itself was neatly laid out and pretty clear, apart from one part where we have to add an ingredient twice, at two separate stages. (I resolved this by adding half each time; I'm inclined to think it probably doesn't matter much.)

The meal took just over an hour to put together, from the start to getting it into the oven. This was slightly unfortunate, as I'd estimated quite a bit more, so wasn't really ready to eat when the cook-time finished!

Still, I had time to ponder, gather, and put together a very experiemental salad to go with it.

So, how was it?

Well, I liked it. Lady Chocolat liked it. So I guess that's a win!

Basically, it was exactly as you might expect - the filling was suitably meaty, the potato was nice and smooth, and it was just a really satisfying meal. Her suggestion to put a little grated cheese on top also seemed to be a winning idea, so that's good too.

The salad wasn't so good, but since that was essentially "here's what we have in the house", that's maybe not surprising. Even so, if I had skipped the chilli I suspect it would have been a winner in its own right.

So, that's that. We now have three spare portions of Shepherd's Pie for the freezer, suitable for reheating and use at a later time. Huzzah!

(Perhaps ironically, this was inspired by a comment about Shepherd's Pie made by one of the Hairy Bikers, and yet although we have their "Perfect Pies" book, I went with Lorraine's version. Of course, that means that some day soon I'll have to try their Cottage Pie recipe from that book, and see how they stack up to one another... Oh, the hardships!)

The World Pipe Band Championships 2012

This one was always going to be an endurance test. To be honest, even going in I was of mixed feelings: did I want the band to do really well, or did I secretly want them to fall on their faces and come last? The latter isn't a pleasant line of thought, but I would be lying if I didn't consider it.

The bus left for the Worlds at 6:15, but the band weren't playing until 14:45. This ridiculous state of affairs was brought about by the organisers requiring all buses to be on the park by 7:30, no exceptions.

As a result of this, most of the band (ourselves included) elected instead to stay in bed and to get the train in. This made for a much more pleasant morning than is the norm for such things. So we got up, put on the requisite sunblock (which I hate, but which certainly proved its worth), and caught the 10:42 train. A short walk later, and we were on the park.

The band spent the better part of two hours getting ready, which involved a whole lot of messing around with drones, micro-adjustments to chanters, and general nuisance. Still, in theory, all that work should pay off with a much better sound.

Alas, it was not to be. Ten seconds before we went on, a final adjustment was made to my chanter, which moved the High A from "slightly out" to "completely out". And so, every time we hit that note during our performance, I cringed.

(Given the above, I feel I must note that it wasn't me who made that adjustment. So, for that at least, I'm not to blame.)

The performance was, quie frankly, bad. As soon as we'd finished I knew we had no chance of qualification. (Actually, I've known for months, but there are levels of "knowing".) Indeed, although the sound was much better from most of the pipes, the actual playing was considerably worse than in Ireland.

And that included from myself. I had a bad start, made several mistakes, had a bad finish, and of course had a mis-tuned High-A. It was hardly a vintage performance from myself.

Next, we had to hang around for the result, which sure enough confirmed that we hadn't qualified. And then we had to hang around for the march-past...

But not. At this point, the Pipe Major got the train home. The Lead Drummer soon followed. (And a few of the other members followed suit for various reasons.) There was talk that we weren't invited to do the march-past; in any case, we didn't have a band to do it.

Eventually, at half seven, the stewards allowed our driver to extract the bus, and we were able to go home. The day, thankfully, was over.

In hindsight, we should really have gotten return tickets for the train. That way, as soon as the PM and LD left, we could likewise have headed home. But, after last year's fiasco, I really didn't want to run out on the band. Oh well. Won't make that mistake again.

Fortunately, there is now only one competition to go. The two practices this week, plus the competition itself, have served as very strong evidence that I've made the right decision to leave.

Ah, finally, the result: Out of 18 bands in our qualification round, we came 15th, scoring 18th and 16th in piping, and 18th in ensemble. The one major positive was for the drummers, who came 5th. Well done to them. I'm not really sure how that compares with last week - on the one hand, we weren't last. On the other, we came in a worse numerical position. And on the third hand, we would have been last were it not for a much-improved drum corps.

#28: "Star Wars: Choices of One", by Timothy Zahn

Priorities in the News

On Monday, I was really quite disheartened to find that the news about the successful touch-down of the new Mars rover was buried in the news under a lengthy report on the Olympics, and even under celebrity gossip. Indeed, in the news headlines on the radio, it wasn't mentioned at all.

So, a massively-important breakthrough in science and technology, that may well have massive implications in all our lives* is considered less important that what is, frankly, a glorified circus event for the pacification of the mob**, and even less important than Natalie Portman's secret wedding?

Hmm, I wonder why it is so many of our young people aspire to be reality TV stars, and so few seek to become inventors, scientists, and engineers.

* And that's not an exaggeration. Even if the rover doesn't find evidence of water on Mars, the technologies developed to land the thing will find their way into commercial applications. At a guess, the first benefit we'll see from this will be some safety improvements in the next generation of cars. I mean, I know it's not cool and sexy when slightly fewer people die in crashes in a year, but it's still quite good, isn't it?

** That's probably not fair to the athletes themselves, who truly are the best at what they do, who have gone to great lengths to become the best, and who deserve their plaudits. But I do find myself wondering what the government have planned for next year - they need to find some way to avoid a repeat of the riots.

The worst thing that has ever, ever happened, ever!

Yes, it's so horrifically bad that it requires three "ever"s. This isn't hyperbole at all!

Last night, LC and I were talking about exam results, and at one point I noted that it was unlikely for a 'B' to be upgraded to an 'A' on appeal.

At which point LC noted that she had her History higher upgraded in exactly that manner.

And thus, the very foundations of my world were shaken - for I too have a History higher, which was also upgraded on appeal - from a 'C' to a 'B'.

Oh no!

I shall now go and hang my head in shame.