Minor Annoyances

A couple of the tyres on my car are slowly losing pressure. That's annoying, but not particularly surprising.

However, the reason I know that two of the tyres are losing pressure is that the screen periodically pops up with the message indicating this. It knows that that is the case because there are pressure sensors on the tyres. And, of course, it is able to detect each time any of the tyres loses pressure, so it is able to check each of the sensors individually.

Which means that the system has everything it would need to tell me which of the four tyres had dropped in pressure, thus saving me the effort of having to check each of the tyres individually.

But, of course, it doesn't do that. Because that would just make things too easy.

(I suspect the real reason is that there's a patent floating around out there which means that Vauxhall can do it on LC's car, but Ford can't on mine. Because some patents are just absurd.)

Anyway, it's a minor annoyance. But those are the worst ones.

Progress on the To Do List

Before the Christmas holiday I made a To Do list with several items on it. I completed very few of these during the holiday, but did eventually complete all but one item.

Before the February break I made another To Do list with several items on it. This time I made a bit more progress, but did eventually complete all but one item - the same item as was outstanding after Christmas.

Before the Easter break I made yet another To Do list. As of this morning I have completed all but one item on it. And, you guessed it, that one outstanding item is the same one as from Christmas.

Still, that's some progress, I guess. I wonder how I'll get on over the Summer holiday?

(Though, funnily enough, that one might actually be completed - due to the nature of that break I won't be inserting that one item on that list. It will still exist on a more general list of things I want to do, but not the list of the holiday specifically. So we'll see...)

Back to School?

Funsize finishes up P1 next Friday, which is fun and exciting - her first ever Summer holidays!

Meanwhile, Tesco's seasonal aisle has, for the past four weeks, been festooned with their "Back to School" range - lots of new and exciting school uniforms that we should buy now to beat the rush (in nice time for her to thoroughly outgrow them for actually going back).

Much as the creeping advancement of Christmas through the calendar annoys me, in truth this is significantly worse. Not only do kinds not even get to enjoy getting to their holidays before being reminded that they're going back soon, but the items on sale become increasingly useless the earlier they are purchased!

The Path Not Taken

One of the more interesting blogs I read has been arguing since day one that the SNP have made a terrible mistake in electing Humza Yousaf, and has been adamant in his belief that they need to replace him with Kate Forbes at the earliest opportunity. One of his arguments recently is that Forbes is apparently the most popular senior politician in Scotland.

Which is true, but...

The fundamental problem is that Kate Forbes represents the path not taken. So as time goes on, and the SNP's problems deepen almost daily, Humza Yousaf looks increasingly like that mistake (in some ways fairly; in others, not so much), and Kate Forbes looks that much better by comparison. "Oh, this is horrible! If only we'd gone for her instead..."

But would the reality of Kate Forbes as First Minister actually be any better? I have my doubts.

There are two reasons for this. The first is that a sizeable number of SNP parliamentarians (in Holyrood and Westminster) are part of the LGBTQ+ community, or allies thereof, and were not unreasonable in their objections to some of the views she expressed in her leadership bid. (I think those questions were largely posed to her as an intentional trap, but that doesn't negate the issue that her answers did represent a genuine statement of her views. All of them, including the statement that she has no interest in rolling back rights, but nonetheless it's not a surprise that people were less than thrilled.) That would make it extremely difficult for her to command the party discipline needed to be an effective leader.

But the second issue concerns the alliance with the Greens. Probably the biggest problem that the SNP government currently has is that everything the Greens touch falls to pieces. Bluntly, the SNP really need to end their alliance with the Greens. That's something Kate Forbes might well do; it's something Humza Yousaf will never do.

The problem is that ending that alliance means returning to minority government. And to run an effective minority government you need allies, or at least people willing to vote for individual measures in order to carry on. In the current climate, that won't be any of the unionist parties - at this stage, and especially with the potential to bring down the government, they're not going to play ball.

And that leaves the Greens as the only option. Break the alliance, and it may well be that the government falls in short order.

While it is looking increasingly like Humza Yousaf is leading the SNP to a relative disaster, at the General Election if not in the Scottish Election, I'm far from convinced that Kate Forbes is the answer. Indeed, I'm increasingly minded to think that there is no answer.

The Worst Gala Day of All Time

Until this weekend, the very worst gala day of all time I'd attended was in a place called Black... something - a tiny village near Greengairs where we'd had a terrible experience. The parade started in one field, passed along a road then to another field, and although there was light rain when we started it rapidly got much heavier. By the time we reached the second field we were wading in mud, and the whole thing had to be abandoned.

Which was a shame, but which pales into insignificance with Saturday's event.

This event is the longest parade we do. The village in question doesn't have much to it - two housing estates separated by the main road - so the parade meets at one end, proceeds down the road and around the other estate, then back up the road and around the first, ending where it started up. It was a hot and sticky day, of the sort that one might mistakenly believe makes for a pleasant piping experience (but really, really doesn't).

But none of that was a problem.

We happened to be there in really good time, and were tuned and ready to go twenty minutes before the start time. And we were second in the parade, behind an ancient open-top "wedding" car, where every time it moved we enjoyed a miasma of fumes.

But none of that was the problem.

While we were waiting, the car would occasionally move forward a bit, and we were asked to move forward to close the gap. After a while, our Pipe Major got bored with this and decided to play a bit to pass the time. So we started - we played "Scotland the Brave" and the first half of "Rowan Tree". The rest of the parade, on hearing us starting, decided that it must be time to GO! This then prompted a panic from the police, and the event organisers, and it all went a bit haywire.

However, that all got sorted out. And we waited another ten minutes, and then it really was time to GO! So off we went - we played "Scotland the Brave" and the first half of "Rowan Tree", got to the top of the street where we were to turn right... and then it all came to a halt.

There was then a lot of frantic discussion, and a fairly long delay. Eventually, word came that we were rerouting the parade, and going to do the last bit first. So off we went. But because of the way the parade was set up, we kept leaving the back of the parade behind, and so had to keep stopping to let them catch up. Then, about two-thirds of the way around the estate, while we were engaged in one of these waits, the wedding car stalled. And the driver couldn't get it going again.

At length, they got some of the local youths to push the car, got it going again, and we completed that circuit. We got back to the top of the first street (where we were supposed to turn right), and then we stopped. And there was a really long delay.

And none of that was the problem. Frankly, the whole situation was very, very funny.

Until suddenly, it wasn't.

Because it turned out that the reason for all of the delays was that the Gala Queen's Mum had collapsed in the street and the paramedics were desperately trying to revive her. She didn't make it.

In the end we completed the parade. The people there very carefully didn't tell the Queen until such time as there was finally no avoiding it, on the grounds that there was nothing to be done, so they let her enjoy her day as much as she could for as long as she possibly could.

But it's fair to say that the second half of the parade was a very different experience to the first.

It's Worse Than That

This afternoon the Commons are going to have a vote on the sanction recommended by the Privileges Committee against Boris Johnson for his many lies over Partygate. It is, frankly, a rather toothless and pointless sanction under the circumstances, but given that it's all that is available, it's welcome.

There is a great deal of anger at what Boris did: that he partied while people died.

But, actually, it's much worse than that.

Because what those many parties at CPHQ and No.10 show is that those involved simply were not taking the threat seriously. And anyone working there who was taking it seriously will have found their work impeded by those who were not.

It's not that Boris partied while people died. People died because Boris partied.

There is no sanction adequate for that man.

The Vacancy Party

Right now our politics is in such a mess that I've realised that those constituencies held by Sinn Fein are actually the best-represented in the country.

And the fundamental problem is that someone has to win the election: I don't particularly like some of the things our current MP has said, and she represents a party that currently makes the Titanic look sea-worthy (even in its current state), but replacing her just means putting into position someone worse from an even worse party.

And that's pretty much universally true everywhere: somehow, they're all worse than each other.

So what I think we need is a new party, the Vacancy Party. They would have no policies, and make only one promise: if elected, their representative would do as Sinn Fein famously do and refuse to take up the seat. Leave it vacant for five years, and force the parties to get their acts together.

Of course, I dread to think what would happen if the Vacancy Party won a majority. Which, given how abysmal things are in our politics right now, wouldn't entirely surprise me.

How Did They Get That So Wrong?

Spoilers for "The Flash" ahead. If you don't want to know, skip this post!

The best superhero movie I've ever seen is probably "The Dark Knight" (though "The Winter Soldier" comes close). The superhero who has been in the most good movies is probably Iron Man. But if you ask me to name a superhero, my first go-to will always be Superman. And the most iconic of all Supermen is Christopher Reeve. Indeed, so iconic was his portrayal that the entire look of Superman changed.

So I presume that the decision to include a cameo of Reeve's Superman in "The Flash" was made for people just like me.

But having seen it, it is an horrific thing. It just looks bad.

And here's the thing: I'm actually not inherently opposed to CGI cameos of characters played by dead actors - I quite enjoyed seeing Tarkin appear in "Rogue One", for instance. But they have to be done well, and this one wasn't.

In addition to the look of the thing, there's another thing that bugs me: in the cameo Superman's entire world is about to be wiped out... and he stands there and watches. I'm sorry, but that's not Superman. Frankly, the ludicrous cameo by the Nic Cage Superman and the giant spider (which is hilarious in its stupidity) is better than this mess.

I still haven't seen "The Flash" as a whole. It had put me in a bind: on the one hand the trailers looked really good; on another the DC films have largely failed to live up to their promise (the first "Wonder Woman" and "Aquaman" were okay); on a third, there were the star's well-publicised issues.

I guess this one makes it quite easy for me: I'll watch it in a few years when (if) it makes it to Prime.

I Suppose It's Never Not a Bad Time

I have a cold. It started with a scratchy throat yesterday, and has rapidly progressed from there. In hindsight, attending the gala day was probably a really poor decision.

Unfortunately, this has come right on top of an already sucky time, and also at a time I really can't afford to be sick. Hopefully it will prove to be a 24-hour thing, or something close to it. (Or, failing that, at least it could have the decency to incapacitate me for a day or two into the new week...)

Capitulation

I see that Pepsi have quietly reformulated their main drink to remove about half the sugar and replace it with artificial sweeteners. This is rather unfortunate, as it now leaves me stuck - up until now, wherever we went they would serve either Coke or Pepsi products, but that always left at least one option to avoid sweeteners. We're now at a point where half the time there will be no option available that avoids them.

The upshot of all of this is that I'm going to have to admit defeat. And, although I very much dislike the sweeteners, and although they don't really agree with me, I think I'm just going to have to get used to them.

On the plus side, that does mean Irn Bru can come back onto the menu (the 1901 stuff was just too expensive to be more than an occasional purchase, and so eventually just dropped off my radar).

Or this could be the time to stop having these drinks entirely. But that's probably crazy talk.

The Sharp Pencil Conundrum

I have a not-quite-serious theory: those in greatest need of a sharp pencil are those least likely to have one to hand.

Back when I was at high school and exam time came upon us, there were a number of my peers who would immediately spring into action: they'd develop a lovely and detailed study plan, giving adequate time to all the subjects, with all sorts of elaborate schemes and divisions, carefully coloured and decorated. It was a thing of beauty. And then they would organise all their materials, making sure everything was carefully to hand and well prepared.

And then they would carefully sharpen all their pencils to a needlelike point and all to the exact same length.

Meanwhile, a few of us would sketch out the briefest possible plan ("I'll study Chemistry this morning and Maths this afternoon...") and get on with it.

By the end of the day it was likely that the people in the first group had put in an awful lot more effort. But that's not the same thing as actually studying.

The sharpening of the pencils is an especially absurd step: although there is a large extent to which you should, of course, take good care of your tools, pencils naturally lose their sharpness over time if left unused. So the optimum approach with those is to pick a reasonably good one when needed and sharpen it then. Then use it, put it aside, and repeat when you next need a pencil.

Since school, I've seen that pattern repeat over and over again. Basically, in almost every organisation I've seen there are some people who can be relied upon to get things done and some people who can be relied upon to put in a lot of effort.

And those are not the same thing.

Gala Day Season 2023 Begins

The band played their first gala day of the year this afternoon, at Mid Calder. It was fine - the usual two-mile parade followed by lunch, followed by playing around a couple of the pubs. I made my exit at this point, but I think some parts of the band continued their pub crawl afterwards.

The day featured glorious sunshine, which always makes these events more enjoyable - for all that I don't like wearing sunblock, it's far preferable to being soaked by rain. And nobody comes out in the rain, rather defeating the purpose of the exercise.

In terms of playing, the band were okay. We're in a very slightly better position than we were a year ago, having lost the sharpness we gained over the course of the season last year. Having observed attendances at practices over the year, that was inevitable - it's also now clear that this will always be the case, so I've made my peace with it.

And that's basically that. Next week is Uphall Station, while Funsize is in the parade at Livingston Village. Shame I can't be in two places at once.

The Two-Plate System

The BBQ at work yesterday was a great success, but there's some optimization that I'm keen to make in future endeavors. Specifically, this concerns the serving of the food.

The BBQ we have has a rather large cooking area, and then also has an elevated rack for cooked food, intended to keep it warm. However, in practice this has the weakness that food on that rack continues to cook. This is fine if it is taken away promptly, but if things stay there for any length of time they inevitably burn to a cinder. This happened to most of the chicken I had carefully prepared for the day.

The upshot of that is that I'm now planning to abandon the use of this elevated rack almost entirely (indeed, I'm eve considering just removing it, to give easier access to more of the cooking area. Instead, the food will be transferred away to a serving area from which people can collect their own food. This will be done using a two-plate system. (Well, sort of...)

The idea is that the serving area will have all the cooked food on a plate. The second plate will be beside me at the BBQ. As foods finish cooking they will be moved to 'my' plate. Then, as the plate fills up and/or opportunity presents itself, the contents will be moved to the serving plate for consumption.

(In reality, it will be a four-plate system, I think - one serving plate for vegetarian food, one for pork and beef, and one for other meats. That's due to the audience I'm serving, meaning that those are the three divisions needed. I'm not proposing to maintain several BBQ plates, however - that will mostly be handled by segregating items by cook-time.)

That's the theory, anyway...