The End of the Line

Well, that's it. As of this morning, mobile phone #2 is done.

(For anyone who needs to get in touch - it still works for text messages either way, but the microphone is busted so it won't work for calls. My desk phone here is the office is also not working, so if it's really important then send me a text asking me to call you back.)

Unfortunately, this raises something of a quandary: should I buy another very basic mobile phone, on the grounds that I only ever use it for texts and a very occasional call; or has the time come to investigate and then invest in a smartphone, on the grounds that I'd almost certainly use more if it was available?

I'll update once I have a new phone, which should be soon.

#23: "Blood of the City", by Robin D. Laws
#24: "The Long Earth", by Terry Pratchett and Stephen Baxter

An Interesting Find

Last week, LC and I went to the wrong Tesco. This shocking lapse was responsible for many woes, not least that I forgot to reclaim my pound from the trolley, but it also led to an interesting discovery: a novel called "The City" by Stella Gemmell.

My immediate response to this was "excellent!" See, for many years my favourite author was David Gemmell. Sadly, he died, leaving his latest trilogy unfinished. However, his wife Stella picked up the baton, and brought the final novel, and thus the trilogy, to a very fitting end.

And that was the end of that, I thought. Since then, I have identified a couple of other favourite authors (being Bernard Cornwell and Conn Iggulden. Oh, and Terry Pratchett, of course).

So, when I saw that Stella Gemmell had written her own first novel, and seen also that it seems to fit into a similar niche as her husband's writings, I found myself looking foward to it.

But...

Having given the matter just a little thought, it became pretty obvious that this was a somewhat foolish reaction. Because, of course, just because her husband was a favourite of mine, it by no means indicate that she can do an equivalently good job. She might; she might even be better, but there is no guarantee that this will be the case.

Anyway, the book is only available in hardcover, so I've got a year to wait for the paperback, and will have a chance to read the reviews. Still, I thought it was blog-worthy.

#22: "Pathfinder: The Frozen Stars", by Matthew Goodall

Why I Should Be the Next Doctor...

Dear Mr Moffat...

I know you're busily searching for the next Doctor, and that you must therefore be very busy. Fortunately, I can help you solve that problem for you. Clearly, and for reasons that shall soon become obvious, I am precisely the right person to be the next Doctor.

"But why?", I hear you ask. Well, allow me to present my case. I'm sure you'll find the logic is irrefutable...

Really, it's a simply matter of elimination. See, until recently, every single Doctor has been older than I am. But that ended with Matt Smith, where for the first time the actor to portray our hero was younger than I am. There is now only one option that has not been explored: the next Doctor must be exactly the same age as I am! It's the only possibility.

Now, of course, you could try seeking out an actor who happens to be exactly the same age as I am. I suppose that would make sense. But why bother? Why not just go straight to the source, and pick the person who most undeniably fills that criterion?

Plus, of course, my sense of whimsy is almost legendary amongst all three readers of my blog (although, granted, one of these is my wife, who is practically required to read it and say "yes dear" at appropriate intervals and with rising levels of long-sufferingness, so she might not count). And I can easily carry on some of the trends started by Mr Smith, as every new Doctor has incorporated mannerisms of the last - I can supply my own bow tie; indeed, I can supply either a clip-on as sported by Mr Smith or a tied one... though my ability to actually tie the latter is best described as comical. Likewise, Mr Smith had a fez; I've always wanted a fez, because fezzes (fezes? fezi?) are cool.

See? My logic is quite simply unassailable. So, when can I start?

Geronimo!

#20: "The Ionian Mission", by Patrick O'Brian
#21: "Treason's Harbour", by Patrick O'Brian

Update on Goals

It's hard to believe that we're already so far through the year. It barely seems a few short weeks ago that snow was falling and winter was in full swing.

Oh, wait...

Anyway, it's time for an update on the goals I set at the start of the year. So, here we go...

• Health: Well, there's good news and bad news. The good news is that the underlying cause of most of my health issues has been explained. The other good news is that I have an appointment to see a physio on Thursday, so there should be some movement on my neck. The bad news, sadly, is that the underlying issue isn't going away; I'll just have to manage it. Which is less than ideal, but it could be worse.
• Weight: No movement.
• Work: This has been another case of good news and bad news. Three weeks ago, things were pretty much awful, but this week has been much better. I'm monitoring the situation.
• Books: I've read 19 books so far, putting me quite some way behind target. That said, I'm on track with most of the 'series' I set, and am gradually catching up, so it may not be impossible to reach the goal. Maybe.
• Debt: So far, so good. The last payment for the bathroom should be made a month from now. It will be good to be free of that.
• Games: This has been going well. "The Eberron Code" campaign is now two sessions from completion. In addition, I have run two of the five one-shots I hope to get through. "Firefly: Furiously Fast" was well received, while "Star Wars: Imperial Fist" was the second-best game I have run in about a decade. So that's good.

Experimental Cookery 2013: Carrot & Coriander Soup

Last one of these for a while, I promise!

This was the second soup taken from "A Soup for Every Day". It was a quick and easy soup to put together, and was nice and tasty. One thing I found surprising was the way that the nutmeg in the recipe came through in the end result. All in all, it was very much a success, and I expect to be doing this again.

Experimental Cookery 2013: Perfect New Potatoes

Purely for completeness...

These were taken from "Jamie's Ministry of Food", we had them with some piri piri chicken and a nice salad. They were fine.

And that's about all there is to say about that!

Experimental Cookery 2013: Butternut Squash, Orange & Ginger Soup

For our anniversary, LC got me a new cookbook: "A Soup for Every Day" from the New Covent Garden Food Co. (I got her two tickets to go see "Sleeping Beauty on Ice", and a bundle of all the newspapers from our wedding day (as I alluded to in my post about the wedding)) This was the first soup taken from the book.

It did not go well.

I gathered the ingredients, chopped them up, started the cooking, and got to the simmer stage. So far, so good. I then made the mistake of leaving it alone to simmer. And when I returned after the appropriate time, it had boiled dry and burnt on to the pan. Oops.

At this point, LC noted that she married me for my cooking, and declared she was leaving. Oh no!

Needless to say, I begged for another chance. I was sure I could do better.

Fortunately, the second attempt was much more successful. I cut the simmer stage down, and watched it like a hawk... and it all came out very well.

The resulting soup was really quite nice, with the stronger flavours of the ginger and the orange giving a nice complement to the otherwise rather bland squash. So that was good.

So, that was good.

#17: "The Surgeon's Mate", by Patrick O'Brien
#18: "Pathfinder: Maiden, Mother, and Crone", by Tim Hitchcock
#19: "Nightglass", by Liane Merciel

We Found Them! They're Here!

Rather shockingly, the week before last saw LC and I reaching the epic milestone of one year married. Truly, such a feat is deserving of being immortalised in song.

Anyway, we decided to spend a few days away. And LC selected Alnwick as our destination, although I'm sure that had absolutely nothing to do with the poison garden... So, we found a suitable B&B, made a reservation, and off we went.

We drove down on the Thursday, a journey that was largely uneventful, although I did note the existence of a disputed zone at the border, with both England and Scotland laying claim to a thin strip of ground. Which I'm sure the "Better Together" campaign will promptly declare to be one of the unresolved issues that the SNP absolutely, positively must answer. But I digress.

We stayed in "Aln House", a rather nice B&B with some six rooms. We didn't see any of the other rooms, but ours was very nice, with everything you might expect - a bed, a TV, several chairs, more cushions than any self-respecting gent can bear, and an en suite bathroom. Very nice. One nice touch was that there was also a common sitting room where people could, in theory, socialise while staying there. And the proprietors were very nice also.

For dinner we ate in a sit-down fish and chip (not fish supper) restaurant, which was rather nice. I had chicken. And then bed.

Friday was the day of the anniversary, and so we spent some time opening the various cards and presents that we had either arranged for one another, or brought down with us. LC got me a rather nice book of soup recipes, while I gave her a package containing all the newspapers from our wedding day (which I referred to in the blog post about the wedding, lo those many months ago). Oh, and tickets to go see "Sleeping Beauty on Ice" (which was very good also).

We then spent the day seeing Alnwick Gardens and Castle, including the poison garden (which I survived), the haunted cellars (which I survived), and the Quiddich demonstration (which was wierd). We had a rather indifferent lunch in the gardens (which I survived - no oranges anywhere!). And, at some length, we returned to the B&B to change for dinner.

Dinner was at "The Treehouse", which is exactly what the name implies. Alas, my hopes that we might be served by Ewoks came to naught, although since Ewoks are cannibalistic that's probably a good thing. The meal was absolutely fantastic, which was fortunate as it was priced to match.

On Saturday, we went to Barter Books, a huge second-hand bookstore. And, incidentally, the place where that "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster was found, thus causing that dratted meme. LC bought some books; I decided against.

In the afternoon, we went to Banburgh Castle. Which I didn't realise until we got there was once 'Bebbanburg', one of the key locations in Bernard Cornwell's Saxon series. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Before going to the castle, we went for a walk along the beach. And in the course of getting to said beach we encountered these little guys...

Yes, it's true. We now know the answer to the question "Where are the frogs?"!!

We then went to the castle, which was absolutely fascinating, because I kept seeing just what Cornwell meant when he kept commenting that that place couldn't be taken. It's going to be fascinating to see how (or if) he resolves that particular issue. And then we walked around the town for a bit, and then we went home.

That evening, we watched "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel", which was interesting enough, although I found Maggie Smith's character somewhat hard to bear - it was a good performance of someone rather unlikeable.

And on Sunday we came home, stopping along the way at Lindisfarne to see another castle. Which was interesting, although it seems that the castle would have been absolutely ideal some centuries before it was built, but rather redundant by the time it was actually built. Still, interesting enough. (The players in my various games may have noticed a sudden increase in frog- and poison-related matters in games recently. They may well find that there's an increase in castles and monasteries shortly, too.)

And that was our holiday. I actually really enjoyed it, being a good opportunity to just leave things behind and have a few days of stress-free relaxation. Given that the start of that week had been a rerun of the disaster that was Christmas (LC was busy with an essay; I was ill), this was a really good thing. Of course, we came back and were immediately caught up in a week of madness. But never mind...

Dear Tesco...

I appreciate what you're trying to do with your "Price Promise". I quite like the fact that you care enough to check whether my shopping would be cheaper elsewhere, and give me a voucher back for the difference.

However, there's a small problem.

See, what you're actually doing is reminding me, week after week, that I would be better off shopping elsewhere. It hasn't escaped my attention that I have received several vouchers for money back and very few indicating that I actually saved. And while it doesn't matter so much as long as the Price Promise holds (since we get the vouchers), there will no doubt come a day when you'll stop this promotion. Knowing that, and putting those two facts together, what do you think I'll do?

So I'm sorry, but this particular move was not your best. You've gone and shone a great big spotlight on one of your key weaknesses, and in doing so have created discontent where before there was none.

Of course, there is a way out. And it's probably your only way out at this point. Basically, you need to lower your prices, right across the board of your "comparable items". That way, where just now I get a voucher back almost every week, instead I'll get more and more notifications that I've saved.

But good luck with that - Asda are rightly proud of their "lowest priced supermarket" tag, and I'd wager they will fight to keep them.

Experimental Cookery 2013: "I Can't Believe You Made That" Cake

Well, yes I did. I even have a picture to prove it.

It was LC's birthday on Friday, and the plan was that various family members would come around to celebrate it. In preparation for this event, then, I asked LC what sort of birthday cake she would prefer. At which point she declared that she would like the "home-made sort", and then specified that it was this cake that she would like. Alright-y then.

So, I dug out Lorraine Pascale's "Baking Made Easy", read through the recipe, gathered the ingredients and then, on Thursday, proceeded to start on the cake.

I actually did this in two parts. On Thursday evening I made up the chocolate sponge that was the core of the cake, and then on Friday I decorated the thing, starting as soon as I got home, and then completing it once we'd been to Tesco and picked up the requisite strawberries. (Incidentally, I used Matchmakers for the outer ring; the mint ones, though if I were doing this again I would probably use the orange ones instead.)

I think this is the first time I have ever tackled an actual birthday cake; I am similarly reasonably sure that I haven't actually made anything with "cake" in the title since high school, though it's possible I've forgotten something. So I made sure to buy a backup cake, just in case.

Anyway, it came out like this:

And, yes, it tasted as good as it looked. Although the last two slices weren't quite so good when we ate them on Sunday.

Would I make this again? Perhaps, but it would need to be a special occasion. In truth, I felt that the cake was actually a bit sickly-sweet to me - if it were a cake for my own use, I suspect I would have gone for a vanilla sponge or similar instead. But it wasn't for me, so that's fine.

#14: "A Crown Imperiled", by Raymond E. Feist
#15: "City of the Fallen Sky", by Tim Pratt
#16: "Last of the Gadarene", by Mark Gatiss

Experimental Coolery 2013: Custard-based Vanilla Ice Cream

I'm adding this post for completeness; the truth is that these posts about ice cream are largely redundant because there's not much to say - mix the ingredients, use the ice cream maker, and the results are very nice. So, feel free to insert all the appropriate text here if you wish. I'll even leave a gap for you...

Anyway, there is perhaps one thing of note about this particular ice cream: when I first mentioned it to Lady Chocolat, her immediate response was that I shouldn't bother, but should do some other type instead. Basically, she objected to the "custard-based" part of the description. I chose to go ahead anyway... and it turns out that I was right to do so. This is the best of the ice creams that I have done to date, and by quite a long way.

Did He Miss By A Day?

Ages ago, I suggested that the best thing for Scottish Football would, in fact, be to simply wrap the whole thing up and to lobby for an amalgamation of the Scottish, Welsh, and English leagues (and national sides) into a single British setup. I still fear that that represents almost our only chance of seeing a major tournament in the next decade.

(Incidentally, if I get around to it, there may be a post forthcoming about league reconstruction. But that's for another day.)

In addition, a few weeks back it occurred to me that the UK government have a couple of cards to play in the fight against Scottish independence (not that I think they actually need them): specifically, I expected their first gambit would be to offer Devo-plus, then perhaps Devo-max. And if things got really desperate they would persuade the FA to offer Celtic and Rangers entry to the English leagues. But I didn't bother mentioning that as I felt it was rather too absurd.

And then, yesterday, David Cameron came out with a statement almost exactly to that effect. It must really suck to be a political satirist these days - the reality is so absurd that it's hard to tell the difference.

Experimental Coolery 2013: Strawberry Ice Cream

Yes, I'm back. I know things have been a bit quiet on the blog front, with rumours of a fruit-related demise being circulated in some quarters. Fortunately, though, I've learned to communicate from the other side, and have finally managed to train our hamster to type. So, we're back in business!

Having finally managed to source some decent strawberries from Tesco, I was able to attempt a second recipe from those that came with our ice cream maker. And, as with the previous effort it was almost ridiculously simple - simply puree the strawberries, mix with the other ingredients, and then pour into the ice cream maker.

The resulting ice cream was excellent. However, my previous caveats apply - the ingredients are more expensive than even the 'good' ice creams on sale from the supermarket, and the quality is comparable. So, this is another thing we probably won't make again unless we happen to come by some strawberries and/or cream that we need to use up. Which isn't terribly likely.

Anyway, must dash - I have a kitchen to haunt.

#11: "Song of the Serpent", by Hugh Matthews (sadly, the weakest book of the year to date)
#12: "The Bromeliad", by Terry Pratchett
#13: "Pathfinder: the Shackled Hut", by Jim Groves

(Regarding my 'books' goal: it's already looking unlikely that I'll get through 60 books this year. Additionally, the '5 series' part of the goal has pretty much fallen by the wayside. But we'll see.)

The Orange Peel Incident

In a bid to hasten the return of The Doctor, and also due to general boredom, I elected to avoid my traditional and daily apple for this week. Instead, since Tesco had some nice-looking oranges, I elected to buy some of those instead. Today was the second day in which an orange made its presence felt in my lunch.

Now, for anyone whose only exposure to oranges has been in chocolate form, one of the key features of the fruit is the presence of a peel, which has a distinctive orange colour and which must be removed before consumption of the delicious fruit within can be contemplated.

It was this that highlighted the ultimate folly of my choice, for it transpired that my usual technique for removing the peel was just rubbish, both yesterday and today. It seems that some wag, probably part of a conspiracy by apple-growers, had taken to supergluing the peel to the oranges in Tesco. And so, the pierce-and-rip technique turned into an ordeal of picking, and stretching, and getting covered in orange juice. (And yes, I used the same technique twice. I assumed that yesterday was just a glitch in the Matrix, but it turned out not to be the case.)

Anyway, luckily, Google is your friend, and so a quick search for "how to peel an orange" later, and I am now armed with a new technique, one that I shall try tomorrow.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Wolves Forecast

It's been a strange winter, weather-wise. See, it hasn't actually been at all bad, and yet we've been constantly bombarded with warnings. Particularly annoying are those roadside signs, declaring "Snow Forecast" - if they have a genuine concern for the environment then unless they have something worthwhile to communicate now they should be switching those off.

But it's not just those signs. We've been bombarded with weather warnings at the first hint of a breeze, and the forecasts have been positively apocalyptic. And all for... pretty much nothing.

Until last weekend, that is, when it actually snowed, and the snow actually lay where it fell. And, somehow, amazingly, the powers-that-be were somehow taken entirely by surprise, and so weren't ready to clear and then grit the roads. And so, despite the snow falling on and off on Sunday, traffic chaos ensued on Monday.

I was rather glad I had the day off. I picked that one well.

Anyway, the motorway signs are back to it - "Snow Forecast" once again wasted energy across the land. Huzzah!

I can't think why, but when I put together the near-apocalyptic forecasts, the general lack of bad weather, and the failed response when we actually had snow, somehow I'm reminded of the tale of the boy who cried "Wolf!" Maybe, just maybe, our councils recognised that the forecasters were routinely exaggerating, so that when there actually was a chance of snow, they just didn't believe them.

Maybe our weather forecasters could tone down their fervour for the end of the world just a tad, and just give us their best appraisal of what they expect to actually happen? And while they're at it, it would be quite good if our TV stations could perhaps stop treating the News and the Weather as entertainment, and instead go back to actually informing us? Or is that just a crazy thought?

Experimental Cookery 2013: Singapore-style Noodles

It's been a while since I did one of these on a Tuesday. However, I've been feeling rather uninspired of late, and so felt that it would be good to make the effort to cook something new, and so here is the result.

This one came from Ching-he Huang's "Chinese Food Made Easy", which is a book I rather enjoy, but one that I make relatively little use of. I find it quite hard to work from, as the food cooks so very fast that it's necessary to have everything ready before the first ingredient hits the wok. This also means that these meals have quite a long prep time that I never seem to account for properly.

The Singapore-style noodles are something that has been enticing me to try them for some time, but because of the prawns I have held off thus far. Still, the time had come, and so...

As with other receipes in this book, this one does indeed require quite a lot of preparation, and that must be done before starting on the cooking - once you start it's basically a race to the end. In particular, it is crucial that the chicken be cooked before you start, because there is no chance of doing so in the midst of the rest of it.

However, that warning aside, this was all quite easy to get through. Basically, once all the (easy) prep stages are done, it was just a matter of queuing up all the ingredients and then throwing them in, leaving about a minute between each stage. A few minutes later, and it's done.

And it was very nice indeed. Pretty much thermonuclear in taste, but very nice. I'm sure we'll be having that again.

#10: "The Snows of Summer", by Neil Spicer

Mysteries of the Ages

Throughout history, there have always been great mysteries, puzzles to vex the greatest of minds. For centuries, mathematicians would attempt to prove Fermat's Last Theorem. Even today, now it has been proven, they search still, this time for an 'elegant' solution - Fermat could not possibly have come to the proof that was finally used, so does there exist an easier way, or was he just lucky?

There are other mysteries as well. Why is it that, no matter how carefully you check, there is always one item you forget to buy in the weekly shop? Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies? Why does "Question of Sport" go on forever, while "Firefly" didn't even get a full season? Was Morris truly so bad at dancing that the mockery is yet to desist?

But these all pale into insignificance next to the most important of all questions: why is it that the three flavours of Mars Planets are caramel, nougat, and crisp? Especially since the one that is by far the weakest is also the flavour not associated with the Mars bar?

Any ideas? The best suggestion will have the honour of being the best.

#9: "The Fortune of War" by Patrick O'Brian

A Bad Film Called Die Hard

Yesterday over dinner, LC noted that she had a lot of work to do. Consequently, I found myself at a loose end. That being the case, given that cinema tickets are cheap on a Tuesday, and also given that I rather wanted to see the film but LC did not, I decided to go see "A Good Day to Die Hard".

My short-version review: this is a terrible, terrible film. It is the worst of the "Die Hard" films by a long way, is worse than at least four of the "Fast & Furious" films (I've never seen "2 Fast 2 Furious"), it's worse than all three "Transformers" films, and is even worse than virtually everything starring Jason Statham. Indeed, it's offensively bad, in the same manner as "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" or "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull". In fact, the only good thing about this film is that the running time is 98 minutes, which is blessedly short.

I'm about to delve into spoilers, so if you're still inclined to go see the film and want to avoid them, you should skip the rest of this post.

The plot of the film is at once quite simple and yet unnecessarily complex. John McClane's son has been arrested in Moscow, and will be lucky to get a life sentence. John therefore travels out there to go see his son, only to get caught up in another really bad day. Meanwhile, there's some business about a file of damning evidence, that ultimately turns out to be a front for yet another simple heist, this time of weapons-grade uranium. And there are the usual inevitable betrayals, the quips, and the catchphrases.

Unfortunately, the big problem with the film is that while the characters have understandable goals, the means they use to achieve those goals are utterly nonsensical - either they take actions that by rights should be of no help at all or, worse, those actions only make sense provided the character magically knows that some other character is going to take action first.

But, fair enough. Let's simply accept that the plot is nonsensical, treat it as a big, dumb action movie, and go from there. Switch off the brane, and we should be able to have fun with it, no?

Well, no, actually.

The problem is that the film has two great big action set-pieces, one a chase scene and the other the climactic confrontation at the end. I don't have any great criticism of the second of these, though largely because I'd long since given up on the film - and that was because of the utter failure of the first.

See, there's this chase scene. Jack McClane and an escaped prisoner are in a van, being chased by the bad guy's minions in an armoured truck, and they in turn are being chased by John McClane in a variety of weapons. So far, so good.

The problem is that, like "Bad Boys 2" and the first "Transformers" film, the quick cuts in the film, coupled with the badly-used shakycam, coupled with the director's penchant for moving quickly across the scene with the camera out of focus meant that it wasn't actually possible to make out what was actually happening - it really wasn't clear where the three vehicles were in relation to one another. In fact, there was one bit where I found myself surprised to find they had turned into oncoming traffic!

Now, while bad, even that's not unrecoverable. A chase is a very dynamic scene, with all sorts of potential for injury and death occurring. There's lots of tension in there, which is why films use them: they're an easy way to build excitement.

Unfortunately, by this point the film has already long-since established that the characters are made of rubber. Jack McClane has already survived a huge explosion, protected only by his equivalent of the nuclear fridge, while John has survived a bone-pulping car crash and then been hit by a Chelsea tractor.

The combination of these two things mean that that chase scene is just ten minutes of bright lights and loud noises, and nothing more.

So, even as a big, dumb action film, this one fails.

But actually, I don't think that just being a "big, dumb action film" is acceptable for this film, anyway. See, this isn't "Crank 2", where we know going in that it's going to be utterly stupid. This is a "Die Hard" film. The reason people bother going to see it is because "Die Hard" was good. By trading on the name, they've given rise to reasonable expectations about the film.

And there's the rub. Despite the then-cutting-edge action, the original "Die Hard" wasn't just a big, dumb action movie. It, like the first "Lethal Weapon" film, "The Terminator", "Predator", the first "Rambo" and the first "Rocky" had rather more to them than that. Sure, the action was solid... but so too were other aspects of the film. That's why those films are still amongst the best in their field, and that's why people will go to the sequels - in the hope that a new film featuring the same characters may capture some of the same magic.

Of course, almost all the time, that hope is going to be dashed. And if it were inevitable that that were the case, the rational response would be simple - don't go to see them. But it's not inevitable that new sequels will suck. We know this, because there is one (and thus far, only one) example of a good modern sequel - in "Rocky Balboa", once you get past the absurdity of the premise, you actually have a film that deals rather more with character, and actually addresses its themes, than you might expect. (Actually, "Rocky Balboa" is the film that "Rocky 5" tried very hard, and unfortunately failed, to be. If you haven't seen it, it's recommended - as is the first, and only the first, "Rocky".) That film proves that a good modern sequel actually is possible for one of these films, which just makes it worse when all the others fail.

'Course, the down-side of that is that when "Die Hard 6" inevitably comes to the cinema, it's pretty certain that I'll make sure to go see it. And then write a blog post complaining about it.

Nothing To Say

Just thought I'd post a quick update. Truth is, there's not much to report - I go to work, I come home from work, I sit around for much of the time... I do have a game on tomorrow, which should be good. This is the "Christmas Game" that got cancelled due to poor scheduling, and which is now happening. I'm looking forward to it.

Other than that, there's not really anything to report. My goals are just sitting there, not really progressing but not really suffering any impossible setbacks either. All in all, things are pretty good, if a little dull. But given some of the alternatives, I'll accept dull!

#8: "Death's Heretic", by James L. Sutter (another surprisingly good book in the "Pathfinder Tales" line. It's not going to be book of the year, but I enjoyed it rather more than I expected.)

If You Have Nothing to Say... Say It With Big Words!

I finished "Tess of the d'Urbervilles" last night. I'm afraid to say that I really didn't enjoy it too much - my big issue with it being that while I don't doubt it was an accurate depiction of society at that time, I didn't much like the depiction of society's reaction to Tess. Which I suppose is a good thing, as I rather suspect that was Hardy's point, exactly.

Anyway...

After having finished the novel, I then skimmed through the "bonus features" in the novel, which in this case included some deleted scenes, some discussion of the landscapes in the novel... and an introduction. And, as with "Jane Eyre", I found myself less than pleased with the introduction, although for rather different reasons.

For the most part, my issue with the introduction was that it didn't add anything to the text. The thing is, a good introduction really should be teasing out things that are probably not immediately obvious from a read-through, but which on being pointed out highlight deeper meanings to the text. And, actually, there is one good example of this in the introduction: it points out some elements that were analogous to the fairy tales of the time, which Hardy then subverted. And that's good.

But the introduction spent a very significant amount of text in a discussion of ambiguity in the text, when actually what it actually says about ambiguity could be covered in a single paragraph. Essentially, the introduction is stalling for word-count.

What I found particularly amusing (and also irritating) about the introduction, though, was the use of language. Because where the writer was on strong ground and making solid points, the introduction was quite clear, and written in nice easy language. It had a point, it made it, job done. But where the introduction was struggling for a point, the language used changed quite significantly - suddenly, it was peppered with "hundred-dollar words", words that most people don't know, and so would either look up or, more likely, would simply nod along with and accept the writer's erudition.

Now, I have absolutely no problem with the use of "hundred-dollar words". Sometimes, an obscure word is absolutely the right word for the job, and should be used. And anyway, one of the best features of the English language is precisely the range of words available, giving rise to all sorts of shades of meaning, and allowing great expressiveness to those who can use those words.

However, what we have here is the difference between "Star Trek: the Next Generation" and "Star Trek: Voyager" - in both cases, there are spells in which the characters (usually the chief engineer or resident Vulcan/Android) is busy explaining what he's doing, and resorts to technobabble. In TNG, though, the show made sure to employ science/technology advisors, and so the technobabble more or less makes sense, especially in relation to the science of the day. And so, when the transporters go wrong, it's an issue with the "pattern buffers" or the "Heisenberg Compensator". In Voyager, by contrast, they've decided they don't care any more, and so they just "reverse the polarity" of the "wibbly-doodad" to generate a "bibblytron" pulse. Or something. It's not real science in either case... but one shows an attention to detail that the other lacks.

The introduction to "Tess...", then, makes uses of literary-technobabble. When struggling for a point, it throws together a whole slew of fancy words which sound really good... but don't actually mean anything. (I don't have the novel to hand, but there's one particular sentence that was particularly egregious - it was assembled of nothing but those "hundred dollar words", but didn't actually say anything at all.)

Anyway, that was that. My next book is a Pathfinder Tale, which I suspect is unlikely to make use of many big words... and which almost certainly not bear anything like the same analysis as "Tess...". But that's good, too.

#6: "Strata", by Terry Pratchett
#7: "Tess of the d'Urbervilles", by Thomas Hardy (a book from The List)