ATM Blockers

While on my secret mission this afternoon (which had nothing to do with buying new socks, obviously - I don't want to risk the ire of the Sock Conspiracy further), I was forced to expend my last cash in all the world on the purchase of parking (which was later refunded, but still). So, being a wily sort, I decided to go to the ATM to get some more.

When I arrived, there was no queue, only one person who had the look of being just about to finish. So, despite the heavy rain and high wind, I decided to wait.

Silly me! For I had failed to realise that he wasn't truly finished. Instead, it appeared he must have been doing a balance enquiry, and wished to make another transaction. Still, how long does that take?

Quite long, apparently.

Then, much to my annoyance, he fumbled in his wallet for an age, and produced another card, which he inserted into the machine after much fumbling. And the cycle began again...

At this point, I gave up, and went and bought the things I went for. (Definately not socks.)

When I returned, I swear the same guy was still at the ATM, fighting with the machine! Still, this time he didn't last long, and I was at last able to get the cash I needed.

I can only assume this guy was one of the dread ATM Blockers, a secret order of aliens, sent to this world with the appointed task of being so utterly inept with modern technology that they cause everyone else endless frustration. However, if this is the case, I see that they have adapted to a new disguise - no longer are they bound to the form of a harmless old lady laden with too much shopping. Avoiding them is going to be so much harder in future.

Also, I have found a new mystery. My new socks (damn, the secret's out) include three pairs with a strange quirk. The first pair bear the legend "Eat" on them. The second say "Drink". The third then say "and be Merry".

What exactly is the point of that? Honestly, what good is a pair of socks giving only part of a mildly humorous statement? I mean, I could just about understand it if they each had half of the statement, allowing one to mix-and-match to comedy effect. But when they each have a third of the statement, what is the point? Are they perhaps sports-socks for the three-legged race? Because if so, that seems an awfully niche market to me.

You may now be wondering, "why on Earth would you buy socks like that, if you think they're so stupid?" Good question. The reason is this: when I wear those socks, I'll be able to make exciting and witty conversation about how utterly insane they are. I may even mix-and-match two pairs, while carrying a third sock just to prove my point. In fact, there may be a weeding coming up at which I can do this very thing...