No!

So, the much-delayed reaction to the result. I think this post actually gains from the delay, as there have been some recent developments that are very interesting (at least to me), which I can now cover here. So, this post will be split into three parts: my initial reaction, my later thoughts, and some thoughts about what happens now.

Initial Reaction

I rather wisely went to bed on Thursday not long after the polls closed, and woke up at about 6am on Friday, just in time for the decisive result from Fife that took No over the line. As anticipated, my reaction was mixed: disappointment on one hand, and yet a certain quiet relief on the other. After all, independence was the less certain path, so it wasn't too terrible to avoid it. Plus, this way I don't need to explain to my mum that I had helped abolish her country.

So, that was that.

Two other things struck me. The first is that just as the vote for independence would have been historic, so too is the No vote - this is actually the first time the people of Scotland have voted to be part of the UK. In 1707, Universal Suffrage wasn't a thing, so the decision was taken by an unrepresentative parliament; this time, it was by the people. Since we are a democracy, that also makes it, by definition, the right decision.

My second thought was this: Alex Salmond said that this should settle the issue for a generation; David Cameron said it should settle it "maybe for a lifetime". I'd actually go further than that: unless something dramatically changes - be it a huge and visible rise in pro-Independence support, revelations of a rigged vote, or a sudden "miraculous" find of enormous oil stocks in the Clair oil fields in the next three months - this should basically settle the issue forever. I don't really want my grandchildren to have to go through all this again if it's just going to be a rerun with the same result.

The Winners

There are several people and groups who have really gained my respect in all of this:

• The people of Scotland. The process has been horrendously difficult at times, but it's also been overwhelmingly peaceful. And to have a referendum of this sort, with an 85% turnout and to do it with almost no trouble, is impressive.
• Our 16- and 17-year-olds. At the time, I opposed the vote being extended to this group, but I was wrong to do so. They've very clearly showed that they are more than capable of understanding the issues, of engaging in politics, and in playing a full role in proceedings. We should roll the franchise out to them across the country as soon as possible.
• David Cameron. (Hey, I didn't say I liked the guy, only that he's gained in my respect!) Probably the biggest winner in all of this, he gained respect firstly by accepting the mandate to hold the referendum and enabling the process, then by having the wisdom to stay largely out of it. But where he really gained my respect, and a small measure of fear, is in his statement after the No victory - by tying "the vow" for greater powers for Scotland in with "English votes for English Laws" he has rather spectacularly managed to spike UKIP's guns and out-maneuvered Labour. I'll come back to that.

The Losers

There are four groups who have really lost my respect as a result of the referendum:

• The BBC. The thing about bias at the BBC is that it's like one of those optical illusion posters - you don't see it until you see it, nobody can point it out to you, but once you do see it, you can't unsee it. (Unfortunately, there's another thing to note: it doesn't actually matter if it's there or not; what matters is whether you see it.) Well, I saw it, pretty damn clearly. And so now I don't trust the BBC for their news output. Because if they'll lie about this, what else might they lie about?
• Labour. Especially in Scotland, the Labour party has lost a huge amount of my respect, both for campaigning hand in hand with the Tories, but mostly for the manner in which they have campaigned. I don't deny that there were massive uncertainties associated with independence, but to hear them tell it we would have suffered Armageddon on Friday had things gone the other way. So much of what they told us was so utterly untrue that, again, I doubt I will trust them on anything again.
• Better Together. The result was a No, but that's a long way from saying Better Together won. They were horrendous, and turned what should have been a sure thing into high drama. Their campaign was shockingly bad.
• Gordon Brown. Conversely, Gordon Brown did, probably, win the day with "the vow". He is, indeed, the saviour of the union. Unfortunately, he has been tricked and allowed himself to be used to set a trap for his Labour party (again, I'll come back to that). But the saddest thing about all this is that in the days since he has been making all sorts of pronouncements about "his promise", not realising that the moment the polls closed he reverted to simply being a minor Opposition back-bench MP.

Later Thoughts

Unfortunately, since the referendum result I have been becoming increasingly angry about the whole thing. It's not the result, which I'm at peace with, but rather the antics that have followed.

Firstly, there was the disgraceful incident in Glasgow on Friday, in which a lunatic fringe of No thugs attacked an until-then peaceful Yes gathering. My guess is that this was actually part of the lunatic fringe of Rangers supporters who haven't had a decent fight in a couple of years, but it doesn't really matter: we were poised to hold our heads up high for a peaceful referendum, and they marred the day. (It was also rather shocking that the Daily Mail actually managed to report it better than the BBC. But I guess they do the sensational as a matter of coarse. (Pun intended.))

But then there has been the undignified squabbling over "the vow". Now, I had expected this from Labour and the Tories, as David Cameron sprung his trap for his enemies. But to see Alex Salmond wade in with his pronouncements was less expected, and less agreeable. (It's also why AS isn't on my list of winners, above.)

(For myself, I don't care about "the vow". I never cared about more powers for Scotland, but was all about the quest for better governance. Independence wouldn't have magically given us that, but it would have made it easier. But this squabbling is exactly the sort of shoddy operation that I'm trying to get away from!)

The Tory trap, though, is a thing to behold. They're about to lay out a big package of powers for Scotland, matched with an "English Votes for English Laws" proposal. They'll then quietly instruct a subset of their backbenchers to tactically abstain, so that the Labour party hold the decisive vote on the issue.

This will then create a dilemma for Ed Miliband: if he allows the move through, he critically weakens any incoming Labour government with a small majority (because they won't be able to legislate on England, and thus on health, education...). If he blocks the measure, then he's the one who has broken "the vow" to Scotland and will be punished up here (there's nothing we can do to the Tories anyway)... and he also loses support in England for blocking such a popular measure.

I don't know if DC is a first-rate scholar of Machiavelli, or if he's just really lucky. Either way: well played, sir.

So, What Next?

I had toyed with joining the SNP on the day after a No vote - I didn't feel I could do so while the campaign was live, out of respect for my mum, but once independence ceased to be an issue it was an option.

However, in the event of a No vote my focus has shifted again. As a result of that vote, and since I have no desire for a re-run, I'm back to seeking the best for my country, where "my country", now, is definitively, the UK. But since the SNP are local to Scotland, that would seem to create a contradiction.

On the other hand, the Labour party, especially in Scotland, is a disaster area. I'm not sure whether the thing to do is to smash it and start over, or whether it might be possible to reform it and thus redeem it.

Either way, the first thing to do is to break their complacency in Scotland. For the past decades, the Labour party have been shockingly complacent about Scotland: it didn't matter what they did, because they'd get 40+ MPs from up here.

That needs to stop. If we drive them down to 20ish, then that will force a wakeup, and might start things going in the right direction. And, fortunately, it sounds like there's a movement starting within "The 45" (as they now call themselves) to arrange tactical voting for the SNP come the general election. If they turn out in numbers, they have the ability to take any constituency in the country. It's a long-shot, but it just might work.

(Now, if we could just get our English friends to do the same, and throw their weight behind the Greens...)

So, that's the next step, I think.

Just Sick

I appear to have come down with a cold, which has kicked me right in the head. So I'll not be reacting today.

The Vote Is Cast

With luck, this should be my second-last post on the topic of Scottish Independence until 2016 (and even that only if there's a Yes). I'll be as glad as everyone else at that - it's of huge importance right now, but it does get rather repetitive, especially when you're rehashing the same arguments over and over again.

Anyway, I went and voted first thing this morning, as is my wont. It's a Yes from me, though I must confess that it scares the hell out of me. As I said, I might be quietly relieved to lose this one.

One thing I'm very glad of is that there is no exit poll being conducted. I know that the media would probably like to have a break-down of what groups went which way, and the people who study polls would no doubt be fascinated (and, of course, if we do it again...). But...

One of the fears as regards the outcome is the result might be very close, and that the losing side might therefore seek retribution. And if it's know that, say, English voters voted in sufficient numbers to turn a Yes into a No (or any similar minority, for whichever switch), then that could lead to that group being targetted.

I would very much hope this is a groundless fear (especially since I hope for a clear result, one way or the other), but I do think it's better never to know. Let's hope we can then accept the result, whatever it is, and get moving forward together.

(For what it's worth, my expectation is that No are likely to win, probably with a 55/45 split or thereabouts. I'm hoping also for a turnout of 94% or higher, partly because the higher it is the more accurately is represents the actual will of the Scottish people, but also because my understanding is that that would make it a record-breaking turnout.)

For me, for now, it's all over. And I'm glad. But roll on tomorrow!

Tomorrow's Possible Results, from worst to best

I'll be glad once this referendum is all over. Some time in the last week, we reached a point where further talk became pointless - people are now sufficiently entrenched in their positions that they're stifling any notions of debate. (And I should note that it appears the "Yes" activists have been the worse for this - the scenes at Ed's walkabout in Edinburgh yesterday were particularly shameful.)

There are, of course, several possible outcomes from the vote. The polls suggest that the most likely is a wafer-thin win for the No camp, though I have absolutely no confidence in those polls - I suspect the extremely large turnout coupled with the huge number of voters who have never voted before will make a mockery of their calculations of the margin for error. So I don't think anything from an 80/20 split for No right through to an 80/20 split for Yes will surprise me. (Though absolutely any Yes will be a shock, given the momentousness of the decision. But shock isn't the same as surprise.)

Anyway, here's my gut feeling for the possible results, ordered from worst to best:

The Worst: Shenanigans

Be it corruption in the way the votes are tallied, any significant doubts or legal challenges of the result, or attempted intimidation or other interference in the process, the absolute worst possible result would be if this was not, or was perceived not to be, a fair vote.

Fortunately, I don't consider this particularly likely, as we're generally pretty good about the mechanics of democracy, but I list it for completeness.

A Low Turnout

Again, I consider this one so unlikely as to be barely worth mentioning, but a low turnout would be a real problem. Ideally, we want as close to a 97% turnout as possible (that being the percentage of the electorate registered to vote, and so the theoretical maximum). A low turnout would automatically bring the result into question, which would be a bad thing.

(Of course, this is actually several results in one, since the low turnout would be combined with some other result. But I'm sure you got that.)

A Narrow Yes

Probably the worst of the likely results (and, indeed, probably the second most likely result), is a narrow Yes. This gets worse the closer the vote - a Yes win by a few hundred votes would be horrible, while a Yes win by a couple of percent would be slightly less bad. But any Yes win that doesn't see them carry a majority of the electorate (and possibly even a little beyond that), would horribly divide the country. It might be the will of the people, just, but it's not really any basis for setting up an independent country.

An ultra-narrow No

Next worst is a very narrow No, being one where the result hinges on a few hundred votes. I think any win by 51/49 or more would be okay, but anything in that extremely tight region would probably lead to unrest and recriminations.

A Landslide No

However, the next-worst option swings pretty strongly the other way - a landslide for No. That is, a 65/35 split or more. The problem with that scenario is that it will likely lead to the Establishment congratulating themselves on a job well done, going back down South, and forgetting about all this entirely.

The problem with that is that there really are lessons that need to be learned from all this, and whatever happens there needs to be at least some change. If a landslide No leads to them just forgetting about it, the lessons won't be learned... and in a few years we may well be back here again.

The Big Two

At this point I have to confess that I am genuinely torn as to what the best possible outcome could be. After all, independence genuinely would be a huge, very risky step, where the status quo is a relatively known quantity. So it wouldn't be wise to have no doubts. However, I do also genuinely believe that the status quo is fundamentally broken, and I see no possibility of fixing it. So it's a known quantity... but it's a known bad quantity.

On balance, I really have to put the Yes win at the top, given that that's how I'm voting. But I might be secretly relieved if it goes the other way.

So...

Second Best: A Narrow No

This one is anything from a 51/49 split up to a 64/36 split - enough to avoid the problems of the ultra-narrow No, while also not being enough for the Establishment just to forget about us.

The hope here is that this will lead to some genuine introspection and reform in Westminster (and especially the Labour party). I'm not in any way convinced by the 'promise' of new powers, nor am I particularly interested in new powers anyway. In fact, I'd go further - much of what the papers have been talking about in the last couple of days definitely should not happen, it being a manifestly unfair deal for the rest of the UK. What I am interested in, and what would actually be ideal, is real reform of Westminster. Sadly, I don't think we'll get it, or at least not enough of it.

And Best: A Landslide Yes

If we're going to have a Yes win, I really hope it's as dramatic as possible. Not because I have any interest in gloating over those who will be (rightly) gutted at losing their country, but rather simply because the greater the margin, the clearer the mandate for this to happen.

Unfortunately, of all the results this is the one that I think is least likely (well, other than the 'shenanigans' and 'low turnout' options). For it to happen would require the polls to be completely useless and for the 'hidden' voters to be vastly skewed to Yes. While I consider the first of these very likely, I have no idea about the second.

So, take a deep breath, because tomorrow is going to be a long day...

Targeting Qualification

I meant to post this on Monday, but it slipped my mind.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to watch the Germany/Scotland match on Sunday, as we've cancelled our Sky subscription. I suppose I could have gone up to BtW, but I was hampered by not really wanting to. Still, by all accounts it was a fairly creitable performance, and although the defeat was unfortunate, it was hardly unexpected. Besides, at only 2-1 it was not the humiliation that might have been feared.

Still, it does leave Scotland playing catch-up in a fairly competitive group.

In order to qualify, I think we need to do all of the following. A failure at any point probably puts it beyond us.

• We need to beat Georgia at Ibrox on the 11th of October. This will be a tough game, but it's certainly doable.
• We need to beat the Republic of Ireland at Parkhead on the 14th of November. This will be one of our biggest tests, but it's a must-win.
• We absolutely must beat Gibraltar at Hampden on the 29th of March. This should be a gimme, but with Scotland you never know - we have a really nasty habit of playing badly against the 'minnows', perhaps out of a delusion that we're not minnows ourselves these days.
• We need to beat Georgia in Georgia on the 4th of September. This is our best chance of getting those last few points we need - if we fail to win this match we'll need something away to the Republic of Ireland or Poland, or at home to Germany, all of which will be much tougher prospects.
• We need to beat Poland at Hampden on the 8th of October. This will be the other great test of the campaign, but again is a must-win.
• We absolutely must beat Gibraltar in Portugal on the 11th of October. If we get this far with even a chance of qualification, it would be tragic to lose it on the last day. Unfortunately, by then it may be out of our hands.

That gives us six wins, for a total of 18 points. That should be enough, since Germany are likely to win the group with near-maximum points, and the second-place teams also auto-qualify. (The best third-place team also qualify, with the other third-place teams going into play-offs. However, I don't rate our chances of getting through a playoff, so we should really target second in the group... which will be a big ask.)

Of course, absolutely none of those results can be taken for granted. Even Gibraltar should not be taken lightly - you still have to beat the team in front of you. And I don't think we should expect to get anything away from home against Poland or the Republic of Ireland - our best hope there is to make sure we win our home matches, and hope they draw their two against one another.

It's going to be a tough group to qualify from, but I think it's also our best chance in a long, long time. So, here's hoping.

Who's Afraid of the Bad Wolf?

And so, after too many years away, Doctor Who came roaring back.

At the time, I had almost no reaction to the casting of Christopher Eccleston, simply due to not being at all familiar with his previous work. I was rather more concerned about Billie Piper as the companion, although in the event she was fine. Indeed, it turned out that they could not have picked a better actor to spearhead the returning series - although Eccleston is third in my rating of the 'new' Doctors, what's more due to Tennant and Smith grabbing the #1 and #2 spots rather than CE dropping it. (It remains to be seen where Peter Capaldi will sit in the list. At the moment, he's #4.) I was, of course, somewhat disappointed he didn't return for the 50th Anniversary celebrations in any capacity, in fact being the only living Doctor to have no involvement, but that was of course his choice.

I do have a confession to make though: I almost dropped the new "Doctor Who" after two episodes. I felt that the first, "Rose" was really cheesy (especially Auton-Mickey), and although the second episode has grown on me in repeat viewings I didn't rate it at the time. Had it not been for an excellent third episode, it might have been gone. Which would have been a shame, since the second half of that first new season is probably the best it has been - after "Father's Day" it really didn't look back, and the two-part season finale is pretty much perfect.

The Ninth Doctor story for this month is "The Beast of Babylon", by Charlie Higson, and it is the best to date. This one is actually slotted in to the episode "Rose" - after Rose declines to join him, the Doctor leaves in the TARDIS and then comes back, and it fits into that moment. It features a new, short-term companion, a trip to Babylon, a fair amount of action and comedy, and even some musing on how and why the Doctor chooses his companions. It was thoroughly enjoyable, and as I said was the best of the bunch to date - knocking the Fourth Doctor story off that perch.

And this month's novel, "Only Human" by Gareth Roberts, is a good one, too. This one is set in the latter half of that first season, after Jack joins the team. And, again, it features a good amount of action, the trademark banter that made that TARDIS team work so well (and, especially, the 'happy' Jack from "Doctor Who", before he moved to "Torchwood" and become all morose). And it also manages to explore a big theme, about what makes a human, whether they can be 'improved', and whether that would really be a good thing.

I highly recommend it - as with the short story, this novel is the best to date, this time knocking the Sixth Doctor novel into second place.

And so September has been a good month for the Doctor. Next up is David Tennant's Tenth Doctor, my favourite of the 'new' Doctors and my second favourite overall. So that's something to look forward to.

#47: "Only Human", by Gareth Roberts

No Pressure, Kid

So, apparently the Duchess of Cambridge* is expecting again. Therefore the Guardian is asking: "Will a new royal baby save the union?", thus completing their transition from being a quality newspaper to being a poor imitation of Heat magazine.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

(Presumably, if said child does indeed save the Union they'll name it Gordon after the saviour of the world. In which case I hope it's a boy...)

(* Edit: I've just been reminded that, technically, her correct title in Scotland is Countess of Strathearn. Oops.)

A Good Day's Work

The band were out doing a fundraising day on Saturday. I hadn't been looking forward to it, but in the event it turned out to be a really good day. We played four half-hour performances spread across the full day (the first just after 10; the last just before 3), ran a stall for raising funds, and made just over £1,000 from the day. Which is fantastic.

But the real highlight of the day came in the sheer size of the band. This was the first time our many learners had been out at a real event, and as a consequence we fielded 17 pipers and 8 drummers! (What's more, we were missing two of our stronger pipers and two of our key drummers. So if we field a full complement that 25 becomes 29 and should actually be better as a result.)

Before we started the day, I took some of those learners aside. At that point we were missing four of our main pipers (two arrived later). I pointed out to them that because of the numbers involved it wouldn't be possible for the stronger players to cover for them, so I really needed them to bring their 'A' game. It turns out that I needn't have bothered - apparently, they had had no notion of doing anything else, and so for the most part you probably wouldn't have known that we had a band mostly made up of kids on their first outing. I like to think the pipe major was quietly impressed.

And so that was that. For the past several months I've known we've had a lot of youngsters with potential coming through. Saturday was the point when that potential started to pay off for us. And if things continue in the same vein then today's youngsters with potential will, a little ways down the road, be a skilled piper (or drummer). And with five such pipers and a like number of drummers, that's a foundation on which we can build a band that can really go places.

And why not?

Hopes for the Nineteenth

Things are now getting quite tense in the Referendum - first the first time a poll has put the "Yes" camp ahead (but a bit later than expected, and still within the margin for error), the debates are over and seem to have gone in favour of "Yes" on balance, the presence on the street strongly favours "Yes"... but there's also the suspicion that there may be a silent majority out there planning to vote "No" who just don't feel the need to shout about it (and fair enough). All of which means that it looks like it's there for "Yes" to win the vote, but there's still a long way to go.

But that's not really what this post is about. Rather, this post is about the day after, the 19th. The thing is, although I'm intending to vote Yes, the reality is that I won't be too unhappy if the vote comes out "No". Whatever the result, I can get on with my life and things will be, mostly, fine (despite my previous post about the nightmare scenario).

I do, however, have three hopes for the 19th, which apply whatever the result:

1. Whatever the result, I really hope there's no suggestion that the process itself has been anything other than fair and impartial. Unfortunately, I have seen some suggestions that there might be some manipulation (probably of postal votes), although thus far this has been confined to the lunatic fringe. But "Yes" or "No", it's much more important that the mechanisms of democracy run correctly, so that we can get on with things in the days ahead. (It's probably needless to say, but I'm not actually worried on this point. It's vitally important, but I think everyone involved is aware that it's vitally important, so we'll be fine.)
2. Whatever the result, but most especially if it's a "Yes", I really hope the result is clear enough to settle the matter. Although legally 50% of the vote +1 is enough to swing it, that's not really a good basis on which to forge ahead with independence. Ideally, I would much prefer the "Yes" camp to target a majority of the electorate (not just those who actually vote) in order to carry the country with them. If the turnout is indeed the 85% that is projected, that would mean a 59% share of the vote. (Of course, I'm sure the "Yes" campaign would both like as big a share of the vote as possible, but will also accept any win whatsoever. That's just the nature of the thing. But I'd be happier with a clear result.)
3. Whatever the result, let that be the end of it. If the result is a "Yes", then I really hope this leads to Scotland and the UK proceeding to negotiate in good faith for the best for both countries in order to split as amicable, and fairly, as possible. If the result is a "No", conversely, I really hope that this will indeed take the question off the table for a generation (at least 20 years) - I really don't want to have to have referenda every few years until we give the 'right' result. "Yes" or "No", whatever the people have said by the 19th is the right result. (Of course, both sides have said that they would indeed abide by the result. But there's always a gap between saying something and actually doing it.)

Anyway, that's where I am at the moment. We'll just need to see what the next 12 days brings...

Update on Goals

250 days done. Time for another update.

• Weight: Okay, time for the white flag. This one hasn't moved, and doesn't look like it's going to move any time soon. I'll need to rethink my whole approach to this I think.
• Work: Ever since I got back from my holiday to Barcelona, work has just been tough. I'd been back less than a week before I felt like I hadn't been away at all, there have been problems that just refused to get fixed... It's just... difficult. That said, I've just had a fairly stellar week, so maybe, just maybe, that's turned the corner. In any case, there's nothing really needing fixed here, as such, just continued hard work.
• Books: I remain well ahead on this goal. I'm currently at 46 books read, compared to an "on track" number of 41 (-ish). I've actually finished two of the sub-lists, and am caught up or ahead on all of the others. The only thing of note is that the remaining books from The List for this year are quite long, which means I may have to go some to stay up to date there.
• Games: I've fixed the date for the "Ultraviolet: 2XS" game, though it looks like that will fail to attract a quorum. I've also scheduled a bi-weekly D&D 5e game to play through the "Lost Mine of Phandelver" adventure from the Starter Set that promises to be quite good. As an added bonus, that game has added a new player we've not seen before - always nice to see the group attract new people.
• Maintenance: The bathroom ceiling is finished, as is the cleaning of the carpets. Success! Unfortunately, we now have a leak in our bedroom ceiling which will necessitate a repair job. I'm hoping to tackle that when I get some time off in October.
• Computer: This was completed last time.
• Money: This is now done.

And that's how things stand at the moment. I'm reasonably happy that the Books and Work goals should complete successfully; they just need to remain on track from here on out. However, it looks like the Game and Weight goals will fail, which is unfortunate but understandable. The Computer and Money goals are complete, which is good, and the original Maintenance goal is complete too - it's just a shame I've had to re-open that one, though I do hope to get it sorted again fairly soon.

The next update should be on the 27th of October. That will also be the last before the end of year review, as there's little point in updating two weeks before the end. By October I should have the Maintenance task completed (again), will know one way or another about the Game task, and should still be on track with the Book and Work goals. The big issue is the Weight goal, but I'd be surprised to see any movement there.

#46: "Reign of Stars", by Tim Pratt

A Crazy Idea: Free Bus Passes for the Unemployed

One of our less-heralded bits of social policy is free bus travel for the elderly. I'm not sure how this works in England, but in Scotland the way it works is that people aged 60 and over are given a pass for free travel; when they get on board a bus they show the pass to the driver and are issued a ticket, the cost of which is then charged back to the government. It's a nice simple scheme, one that's cheap to provide (because the state only pays for travel that's actually used), and one that makes a significant difference to the lives of those who use it. Suddenly, older folk have the ability to get out and about, which can serve to encourage them to do so, thus in turn improving their health and well-being. Huzzah!

Okay, here's a crazy idea: expand the exact same scheme to the unemployed.

The idea would work like this: when a person goes to the Job Centre to sign on, they are provided with a pass for free travel, valid for a period of six weeks (actually, six weeks and a day). Six weeks later, if they don't yet have a job, the pass is reissued for the same period again (and repeatedly, until they find a job and so no longer need it). The rest of it works as does the current scheme: they get free travel on the buses, with the companies involved recharging the tickets back to the government.

This has several benefits:

- Firstly, and most obviously, it makes it easier to find and get a job - given the ability to travel freely, a person will be able to look in a wider area for a job, and will be able to travel to interviews without cutting into their very-limited JSA. (This last is especially important if you have several interviews and aren't terribly likely of getting any of them. Paid for by the individual that could quickly rack up the costs.)

- Secondly, it helps to mitigate the cycle of helplessness that the unemployed, and especially the long-term unemployed, can fall into. If you go day after day with no reason to leave the house, that quickly becomes no reason to get up, which means no reason... it can become increasingly hard to break that cycle. But given free travel, that opens up a whole range of free activities that could be enjoyed - you might not have a park/museum/art gallery in walking distance, but I bet you have one that can be reached by bus. (That's obviously a fairly trivial example, but the phenomenon is real. And while this won't break it by itself, it should help.)

- Thirdly, it just makes the whole business of life that bit easier. It's just that much easier to go to the doctor/dentist/supermarket/whatever with access to the bus than it is if you have to go on foot.

- Fourthly, it's a practical help for people rather than just a cash payment. That's actually quite important, as much of our assistance for job seekers tends to be of the form "here's a handout; now go and get on with it". (That's an exaggeration, of course, but it's not without truth.) Sometimes, it's better to just give someone a ladder, rather than giving them the money for one and pointing them at B&Q.

There are, of course, significant problems with the scheme: I have no idea what it would cost; I have no idea whether it would be practical to issue large numbers of short-term passes; and it does nothing for the fact that there are too few jobs out there. (Oh, and there's a problem where a person might get a job just before their pass expires and then not have the money to actually get to that job until they've had their first pay. But that problem actually already exists.)

But, hey: I did say up-front it was a crazy idea.

Not Actually About Cakes

I feel sorry for Diana.

There was an issue in the Bake-off tent. One of the bakers found his work had been destroyed through no fault of his own, and with no opportunity to recover from the problem. He reacted badly, and was subsequently eliminated.

The producers of the show proceeded to cut the footage for maximum drama - the teaser for the show had MB noting it was "sort of unacceptable" with an immediate cut to Diana; lots of shots of our arch-villain looking eeevil; the rising tension music immediately before the problem; her comment that "he has his own freezer to use"...

And so there was a reaction. That's hardly surprising - the show was clearly structured to get a reaction, and they got one. Big shock there.

As far as I can see, there was an injustice, and it was at the hands of the judges. There's a precedent for what happens when a contestant is unable to finish a challenge through no fault of his own - two years ago, John cut his finger and was unable to continue; they suspended the elimination and carried on. Well, that's the case here, too - Iain's ice cream was removed from the freezer (probably by mistake), rendering him unable to complete the challenge. He didn't have anything to present to the judges, and it wasn't his fault. (And Paul's assertion that he could have presented his sponge and meringue is wrong - firstly because they were with the melted ice cream, but secondly... does anyone believe he would not have been eliminated had he presented just two of three parts of the challenge?)

(Incidentally, the reason this is not the same as the custard incident from last year is that the problem with the custard didn't prevent those involved from completing the task; the mistake this time did make it impossible to complete - you can't complete a baked alaska without ice cream.)

So, yeah, there's an injustice here. Actually, there are two: Iain's undeserved elimination, but also the villification of Diana for the purposes of good TV. And, frankly, I don't think I care to watch this show any more.

One more thing: Sue Perkins tweeted about the controversy, noting the over-reaction and noting also that it's a show about CAKES. There's just one thing wrong with that, though.

It's not a show about cakes, and it never has been. It's a show about people, specifically the dozen or so contestants in the tent.

How To Prevent Change

A few years ago, we had a referendum on changing the voting system (the so-called Alternate Vote). This returned a "no" vote, putting the idea of changing the voting system to bed for a generation.

A few years before that, the north of England had a referendum on a form of devolution for the region. This returned a "no" vote, putting the idea of devolution for the north of England to bed for a generation.

In both cases the people were asked, they said "no", the end. Any further discussions on the topic inevitably meet with the response that we had a referendum, it wasn't wanted, so why are we still having this discussion?

Here's the thing: the Alternate Vote was a terrible compromise. Indeed, it was sufficiently bad that even people who passionately wanted change to the voting system felt forced to vote against it because, while it was change, it manifestly wasn't change for the better.

Likewise, the form of devolution offered to the north of England wasn't the same as that enjoyed in Scotland, or even in Wales (where the Assembly has far less power and influence than up here). It was an offer, certainly, but it was a bad offer.

So that's how it's done: if you want to be seen to be responsive to people's calls for change, but don't want to actually change, engineer matters so they do get a choice - do they want the status quo, or do they want this horrible compromise alternative that you've fought hard to win for them?

(Incidentally, this post comes about following a guy from the Campaign for an English Parliament appearing on Good Morning Scotland this morning. He was, alas, talking about something else, and was therefore talking mince, but his core point is a good one - there almost certainly should be some measure of devolution for the English regions, especially if Scotland votes No, and double-especially if the UK government then really does grant significant extra powers to the Scottish government. Though it does need to be the English regions - the needs of the north are significantly different from those of the south-east, so simply having a single body for the whole wouldn't really help much.)

Of course, there's also a corollary to this: if you want change, then you should probably vote for the change that is offered, even if it's a bad one. Because once you've achieved some change then it's easier to get good change, while rejecting the change you can get will make it that much harder to get the change that you want.

#44: "Pathfinder: Fires of Creation", by Neil Spicer
#45: "The Ocean at the End of the Lane", by Neil Gaiman

Competition Season 2014 Wash-up

Where to begin?

This season has largely mirrored the last two I was involved in - we started with some significant optimism after a productive winter, suffered some early setbacks, and never really recovered. The results just haven't gone our way, with us only twice getting into the top half of the score-sheet (4th out of 9 in the Grade 4 at Dunbar; 2nd out of 4 in the Grade 4MSR at Bridge of Allan). Once again we achieved nothing whatsoever at the majors, with the likely consequence that we'll be downgraded for next year. That might be the best thing for it - although we'd struggle a great deal to get back up, we just don't seem to be getting any traction in Grade 4A.

I haven't been enjoying competing at all. My pipes seem to be tuned on a knife-edge - a fraction this way and they're flat, a fraction that way and they're overblown, a fraction up here and the chanter sounds early, a fraction down there and the drones don't sound. I just can't seem to resolve that, and am getting increasingly pissed off at being told I can't get anything right. Or maybe it's just me, and I really can't get anything right.

(That said, the last competition was actually quite enjoyable. If we could just get that every week, instead of the other, that would be grand.)

The bureaucratic side of running the band is similarly frustrating - we've lost the use of our practice venue due to council cutbacks, we need to find an additional £4,000 of funding per year from somewhere, and we've just burned too much money this year (on instruments, uniforms, and the like - all good stuff, and abnormal expenses, but still...)

The one shining light of this season is our learners, where we have the makings of an entire new band coming through the ranks. And this is the best group of learners that I have ever seen, both in terms of their ability and of their willingness to learn. So, if we can just keep that group together, we might be able to do something interesting next year.

And that's that - all pretty depressing stuff, I'm afraid. But you'll probably be glad to hear that that's it done. As of Saturday, I get my weekends back. Looking forward to it!

The Edinburgh Pipe Band Championships 2014

The final competition of the season took place in Edinburgh, at the Highland Centre. This is a relatively new competition - this was only the fourth year it has taken place - but it's one that Edinburgh City Council are very keen to build up. And rightly so - it's a venue that is ideal for hosting a large event, but rather poor for a small one.

The pick-up time this week was a fairly civilised 9am, which meant a lie in until 7:30! This made for a relatively pleasant morning, with me getting ready and heading out after the dawn. Then we were off to our second pick-up, and then to the contest, a mere half-hour away.

The day was fairly relaxed, with us now past the point where the contests had any serious meaning (the majors being over and done with), and so we got ready and then performed, and then got ready and performed again. The performances were okay, but not spectacular - earlier in the season this would have been the occasion for a rant, but none was forthcoming.

After the competitions were done, there were a few hours to kill, so I retreated to the bus to read. The site had virtually nothing to do - as I said, it is poorly suited to a small event, as those few local traders were shut up for the weekend, while it wasn't big enough to attract even the usual Highland Games traders.

The final competition finished just before four, and so shortly thereafter we had the march-past and prize-givings. We came fifth out of six in the Grade 4 contest (5th for piping and 4th for drumming), and third out of four in the Grade 4MSR (3rd and 3rd), narrowly missing out on a prize in both cases.

And then there was a fairly quiet, and pleasantly short, bus journey home, and that was the season done.

It was actually a nice day on which to end the competition season, with the lack of pressure, the reasonably okay weather, and a halfways decent performance. Plus, as soon as we had played our last I felt an enormous release of stress, as the burden of the season is now gone.

#43: "The Grapes of Wrath", by John Steinbeck (A book from The List, and also the new candidate for Book of the Year.)

The Nightmare Scenario

As I'm sure I've mentioned once or twice, I'm intending to vote Yes next month. However, it's worth noting that I wouldn't be too horrified if the result came back No - after all, we've kinda muddled along thus far, so I'm sure we'd kinda muddle on going forward. (Plus, it's worth noting that my reasons for voting Yes are largely driven by a rejection of part of the status quo, rather than a philosophical leaning towards change - not the stuff fanatics are made of.)

But, in the event of a No vote, there was one scenario that really worried me - the one where Westminster chooses to 'punish' Scotland for our having the temerity to ask the question. Such punishments might take the form of a stripping of powers from Holyrood, but would more likely take the form of serious cuts to the Scottish budget - primarily cloaked in a "reorganisation" of the Barnett Formula that determines that budget.

However, I wasn't too concerned about that. I did fully expect some sort of revised constitutional settlement to be put in place, granting a few more minor powers to Holyrood (there really isn't much more that it is practical to devolve), but specifically removing the right to conduct further referenda, thus removing any chance of a repeat. But as for the massive cuts suggested... no, I wasn't overly worried on that front. I had heard a couple of voices raise such possibilities, but they were generally out on the lunatic fringe of the debate.

Until today.

(The key bit, especially in the Telegraph piece, is about the desire to see cuts to Scottish public spending. The desire to not share the pound is another matter, and is both understandable and quite reasonable.)

It is unfortunately the case that the status quo isn't on offer in this referendum, and hasn't been for some time. Probably since the SNP won their majority at Holyrood, in fact. Now, though, it's looking much more like our choices are between the risks of independence and the certainty of punishment.

Eep!

I've just noticed that my listing of books of the year is missing two entries. Fortunately, I do know where they should go, so I'll add them here with the correct numbers:

#17: "Scoundrels", by Timothy Zahn
#25: "The Golden Ocean", by Patrick O'Brian

The World Pipe Band Championships 2014

The World Championships is actually one of the competitions I tend to enjoy the most. This is partly because it's so late in the season, and partly because it's in the centre of Glasgow, which affords the opportunity to leave the grounds and go and do something else, rather than just sit around waiting endlessly. In the worst case, it's even possible to just get a train home, although I'd promised myself not to do that again as I didn't want to be absent for the march-past.

My hopes were not high for this year's competition though. In order to qualify for the final, we would need to be in the top six out of sixteen in our qualifying heat - something we had never achieved all season. Still, with a good performance it might be possible...

Unfortunately, the Worlds requires a very early start. Although we weren't playing until 11:20, the bus needed to be in the park by some early hour, and so the pick-up was at 6, in turn necessitating a 4:30 wake-up. Nice.

And so we staggered out, got to the bus, got into town, and then waited. Eventually, we found a Cafe Nero that had opened, got something to eat (though it wasn't all that might have been hoped), and started feeling a little more hopeful.

The final prep for the competition did not go well. The rain wasn't bad, but it was bad enough to play havoc with the pipes, and the pipe major was getting increasingly frustrated - to the point where at one stage he had a go at me for overblowing my pipes and underblowing them at the same time. Thank goodness there's only one more competition this season.

Anyway, we went on, and did out bit. Mostly, the performance was fine, with one exception. Once again, the band had a bad start to our performance, which meant we might as well not have bothered. (On the plus side, it wasn't my fault - in fact, my performance was actually fine throughout. So I'm not taking the blame for this one.)

At this point, LC and I went back to hear some of the rest of the bands, and got thoroughly cold and wet doing so. There were about 10 bands after us; I only think I saw one that was less good than we were.

We didn't qualify.

At this point, LC and I went into town to kill some time, I failed to buy a copy of the new "Player's Handbook", we did get some ideas for nephew #1's birthday present, we got some lunch, and it was generally okay. Then we went back to the bus to read for a bit.

It was only some hours later that we heard that we actually weren't doing the march-past after all. Which was a bit frustrating - had I known, we would have packed up, taken the train home, and saved the rest of the day.

The journey home was not the best, due to a combination of tiredness and alcohol. But we eventually got in, ordered pizza, and gradually unwound.

The last competition of the season is the Edinburgh Highland Games on Saturday. I will be very glad once it's done.

(And, yes, it's fair to say I don't enjoy competing at all. The problem is that I enjoy almost everything else about being in a pipe band, and especially the teaching, but I just don't know how to separate out the two.)

#42: "Pathfinder: Ultimate Campaign", by Paizo Publishing

A Deeply Mixed Weekend

Things have been pretty tough for the past few days. It all began on Friday...

I had an appointment with the hairdresser on Friday, which meant I had to leave work fairly sharp. This was good, although I left the office just as we were being battered by extremely heavy rain - even by the time I reached the car I was soaked. I was also delayed just enough than LC had to run me round to the hairdresser, as there wasn't quite time to walk.

On arriving back home afterwards, I was met with news from LC: she has a job! Huzzah! Rather shockingly, though, she had been called at five to five on the Friday, and asked to start on the Monday (pupils return Tuesday). So no pressure, then.

Things were therefore looking good. And then, sadly, they went downhill.

About eight, another monster shower passed overhead. Now, I've been paranoid about the roof every time it rained for the past eighteen months, and this time my fears were justified - the ceiling in the bedroom sprung a leak. Fortunately, it missed everything but the carpet, so it's perhaps the least-worst leak possible, but still a hassle.

The ordeal with the roof is still ongoing, and is still causing a lot of stress. But for Friday, it meant calling several people, only to be told they couldn't help me (for one reason or another). Not the best.

The other consequence of this was that I had to call off attending the competition at North Berwick. The band did okay but not great in my absence - it certainly wasn't as if my being there would have made any difference.

But that meant that on Saturday, instead of a 4am start time to catch the bus, I instead woke up at 9am to make some calls, and didn't get up 'properly' until nearly 11. So I got an extra 7 hours of much-needed sleep.

The rest of Saturday was therefore very restful. Suddenly, I had some unexpected free time. So I got caught up on some stuff, got ahead on some other stuff, and generally had a good day.

Alas, Sunday wasn't the same success. LC was extremely stressed by this point, on account of needing to prepare something (but not sure exactly what) for the week ahead. And, stupid me, I picked that moment to bring up student loans. This of course added another stress to her load. Not my best moment.

That afternoon we headed over to my parents' in order to celebrate Dad's official birthday. Which was nice but very chaotic and loud. And then home, exhausted, and back to bed.

On balance, I think it was a better weekend than not. I'm even trying to persuade myself that the leak was a good thing, as it enforces that a repair be made now, rather than going horribly wrong in Autumn/Winter. But I'll certainly feel much better once it's done. And although LC was stressed, that stress was a side-effect of some really good news.

But at the moment I'm just worn out, and feel that I'm just barely holding together against all the stress. Things really need to start calming down around here...

Experimental Cookery 2014: Enchiladas

Another one from the "Hairy Dieters: Eat For Life". I should note, however, that I made some substitutions - LC doesn't like kidney beans, so I used a tin of Heinz "Fajita Beans" instead; I used the large flour torillas that they said not to use, and I used the full amount of liquids, beans, etc; but only half the mince, torillas, and cheese (because I was making for two instead of four).

These were highly successful, but... I accidentally put in rather too many chilli flakes, which meant that the heat of the dish was out of proportion. And the sauce could maybe have done with another few minutes to thicken a bit more. Also, I think I prefer the chicken enchiladas I've sometimes made, rather than these beef ones.

That said, these tasted good, and not at all like diet food. Plus, they were very filling - I barely managed to eat two, while LC managed only one. Which is pretty awesome.

I would definitely have these again, though I think they're perhaps better done as a full batch, probably with company.

Experimental Cookery 2014: All-in-One Spicy Pork and Rice

This one comes from the "Hairy Dieters Eat For Life", which is a generally useful book. It's also another really easy, one pot recipe - there's a small amount of preparation and then it just cooks together. And it was really, really nice. Another winner.

Experimental Cookery 2014: Flatbreads

I do like a tasty burger, and for that reason LC and I have had Hugh's spicy lamb burgers on several occasions. However, we've always had them with pitta breads, which were fine but somewhat limited in what they could hold. So this time I decided to follow Hugh's recommendation and cook up some of his flatbreads. These are from Hugh's "River Cottage Every Day" book, which is definitely one of my favourites.

There's not actually much to say here. They were really quick and easy, they tasted really good, and they carried much more of the onion, yoghurt, and salad that went with the burgers. All in all these were a massive hit. So, job done.

The Man Inbetween

And so we come to the third of the three 'lesser' Doctors. And of all the Doctors, it is Paul McGann who most suffered from the quality of the material - although both Colin Baker and Sylvester McCoy had some poor material to work from, they also got some really good stories ("Trial of a Time Lord" and "Revelation of the Daleks" for the one; "Remembrance of the Daleks" for the other). McGann, though, got one crack of the whip, and was stuck with a dud. Indeed, I was particularly glad to see his appearance in "Night of the Doctor", if only to help redress that balance.

However, where the Eighth Doctor suffers on the screen, he potentially gains in other media. Whereas the spin-off novels, radio plays, and other materials for other Doctors need to fit in the gaps left by the TV series, the Eighth is a blank slate, and so they can do more or less what they like. And, having heard good things about most of these items, I was rather looking forward to this month.

This month's short story is "Spore", by Alex Scarrow. It has a fairly interesting concept: an intelligent virus comes to Earth to determine if we're 'worthy' of continued existence; the Doctor has to try to oppose it.

There's nothing wrong with the story, but there's not really much to recommend it either, I'm afraid. In particular, there's nothing I could see that makes this an Eighth Doctor story; it would work just as well with any other Doctor, at any time he was travelling alone.

This month's novel was "Earthworld", by Jacqueline Rayner.

Unfortunately, this one runs into trouble for the very thing I praised above - because the Eighth Doctor stories didn't need to "fit into the gaps", the powers-that-be decided to build a single, series-long storyline for this incarnation of the Doctor; essentially, they wrote the novelisations for a TV series that might have been. Which is fine, and probably the best way to present that series.

But it suffers a terrible weakness when you pull just one episode out of that series - taken by itself the novel doesn't really work. It's full of fairly specific references to things that happened before, which is good for those who have read the books. For me, it would have been better titled "Confusing Sequel to a Book You Haven't Read".

And so we had a Doctor suffering amnesia not, as I first guessed, because that had been a character trait in the TV movie, but rather due to things that happened in the series to-date. We had a companion constantly referencing those events, while also dealing with an existential crises brought on by things I knew nothing about. And another companion mourning the death of a character we never met.

In context, I'm sure all this was fine. Without the context, it's a big negative mark. They should have chosen something else.

I also found the writing style very jarring - it seemed... lacking somehow. Actually, it reminded me of "Confessions of a Shopaholic" but, alas, not in a good way. The characters' internal monologues seemed to be a froth of irrelevancies and nonsense, more fitted to someone who would shop without ever counting the cost, only to be bailed out at the last moment by a Knight in Shining Armour. Though the novel had those, and they weren't entirely benevolent...

So, I'm afraid I wasn't a fan. Maybe if I'd read the series from the start, and I'd read the series when it first came out, things would be different. As it was, I have to rate this as the weakest Doctor Who novel so far. (The Sixth Doctor has the best novel, followed by the Third. Two, Four, and Five all have pretty good entires, One and Seven are okay, and then Eight.)

For my next trick, I'm going to tackle the Ninth Doctor, the herald of the regenerated show. I'm looking forward to it.

#41: "Earthworld", by Jacqueline Rayner

Bridge of Allan Highland Games 2014

Sunday was not a good day.

It started brightly enough - I woke up feeling pretty good about things, went to Tesco to get the milk I had forgotten we needed, and then LC and I made ready and headed over to Bridge of Allan.

Shortly after arriving, I had an errand to run - the band were donating a prize at these games in memory of our Honorary President, who had died just before our wedding two years ago (in fact, I received the text informing me of it while at the wedding rehearsal). So, I headed over and delivered that.

Meanwhile, we were being entered into the Grade 4 competition. Due to a mix-up with the entry forms, we had only been entered in the Grade 4MSR, which is a slightly different competition, and would prefer to do both. So, that arranged we had a race to get ready.

And then things went horribly wrong. For some reason, we've been having issues with chanter reeds this year, where they seem to have a really short life in the spot between "too hard" and "too easy". In particular, my reed was causing problems with a flat F. So, the Pipe Major adjusted it, making it a little easier. This shifted the problem, so there was now a flat G. So, another adjustment, and again a little easier.

And then, horribly, it hit that "too easy" point, where whenever I started up the drones, the chanter sounded. And this about a minute before we were to go on.

At this point, I expected simply to drop out of that competition - better for the band to do well without me than for me to play and mess it up for everyone else. I wasn't happy at that outcome, for obvious reasons, it's just one of those things.

What actually happened was that the pipe major switched the reed for another one, adjusted it a bit, and we went on. Which was, I must admit, something of a surprise, but a pleasant one. And the performance was... okay. Not great, but about as good as could be hoped I think.

There was then about an hour for our second performance, during which the pipe major tried to get the new reed properly adjusted. Only it just wouldn't quite some in. So it got switched again, and the new reed again wouldn't quite work. More adjustment, and another reed. And another. (I really don't know what's going on there, because it really shouldn't be this hard.)

Anyway, he finally got it sorted (ish). And then the rain started.

(I should perhaps note at this point that we did have our waterproof capes with us. Alas, they were in the car, and we didn't have time to go get them. Yes, we got wet.)

We played again, and the performance was... okay. Though by this point I just wanted to go back to bed and not come out again for a week or two. (And I'm really not looking forward to the World Championships in two weeks.)

The rest of the day was the now-traditional waiting for the march-past. This was made somewhat easier by LC being there, for the first time this season; shame she couldn't have had a better day, but there it is.

The march-past was likewise okay. They're pretty standard by this point, and at least by then we'd got our capes on. Additionally, we had been joined by four of our five learner pipers (and one of our learner drummers), which was nice - good to see the hard work on the teaching front start to bear fruit.

I don't actually have the full results at the moment - they haven't been posted at the time of writing. I do know we weren't in the top four for the Grade 4 contest. For the Grade 4 MSR, we came second overall, which was a stunning result. So stunning, in fact, that we didn't even muster a cheer, it was so unexpected. (It also, coincidentally, meant we won back the cup that we had ourselves donated that morning. Hugh would have been very proud of that.)

(Update: We came last out of 11 in the Grade 4 competition - 11th for piping and 7th for drumming. We came second out of 4 in the Grade 4MSR - 2nd for piping and 2nd for drumming.)

And that was that. The journey home was blessedly quick - the advantage of taking cars rather than a coach. And then an evening of eating pizza, watching part of "Spider-Man 2" and the closing ceremony of the Commonwealth Games.

There are now three competitions to go this season. I think that, next year, I'll forgo these weekly reports - they're getting too depressing. But then, I don't think that's the reports necessarily.

#39: "Pathfinder: The Slave Trenches of Hakotep", by Michael Kortes
#40: "Pathfinder: Pyramid of the Sky Pharaoh", by Mike Shel

The Scottish Pipe Band Championship 2014

Saturday was a somewhat mixed day. The morning was gloriously sunny, but in the afternoon it started raining hard; so hard, in fact, that the march-past was cancelled, meaning we all got to leave that bit earlier than expected.

My day started at 6am, with me dragging myself out of bed and off to the shower. The return to work has been pretty brutal, and last week was thus a particularly tough one. I could really have done with a chance to rest. Oh well.

The journey to the competition was reasonably pleasant and was quite quick. Indeed, we had made sure to leave lots of extra time in case of Commonwealth Games traffic, only to find that there wasn't any noticable increase. Thus, we got there with some hours to spare.

The preparation for the competition actually went reasonably well. We took to the field, played out selection, and came off. All seemed good; indeed, it was our best performance of the season, and by a long long way.

There then followed several hours of waiting, which wasn't good but which was improved by having a good book to read. Eventually we got the result.

And we came last. Out of fourteen bands playing, we came fourteenth from both piping judges, fourteenth for ensemble, and eleventh in drumming. Which was a massive kick in the teeth - we'd genuinely thought we were in with a chance of sneaking away with a prize, and certainly didn't think we were that far off the running, so to come last...

The journey home was a rather subdued thing, during which I almost fell asleep a couple of times. I finally got home just before 8pm, which was a good bit earlier than expected. And then I went to bed.

So that's it. There's one final major championship of the season, the World Championships in Glasgow in three weeks time. However, due to the number of bands involved we will need to qualify for the final, and there's little chance of that, never mind of winning a prize. Which means we'll be ending the season without a single championship point to our name. And after several years of that, we're likely to be demoted back down to Grade 4B - which might not be a bad thing from a player satisfaction point of view (better to win in a lower grade than be thrashed in the higher), it took a lot of effort to get moved up, and the thought of facing that again isn't fun.

But I really don't understand what happened. It would be disappointing to have come last due to a bad performance, but at least that would make sense. But I was sure that wasn't the case here. As I said, it was our best of the season by miles, so to still come last... That practically requires everyone else to have been brilliant.

It's just frustrating.

Disaster in the Last Chapter

"The Cuckoo's Calling" in not a book I would normally read. It's not that I have anything against crime fiction; it's just a genre I don't usually bother with. Had it not been for the revelation that Robert Galbraith was actually J. K. Rowling I would probably not have ever been aware of the noval. (And, of course, as soon as it was revealed to be JKR the reviews of the book became worthless - suddenly people were reviewing the author rather than the book.)

Still, I did enjoy the Harry Potter series, so when the novel appeared in Tesco's near-permanent "2 books for £7" offer, I picked up a copy. That was some months ago, and it has been waiting on my shelf since then.

I started "The Cuckoo's Calling" on Saturday while on the bus to Dumbarton; I finished it Sunday evening.

For the most part, it's very, very good - it's a really easy read, the characters are well drawn, and the central mystery is engaging. And it did indeed have me guessing right up to the last chapter. In fact, my big concern was that I had identified three characters I thought might be the killer, and I was worried she might pull a "they all did it!" twist, which wouldn't have been good.

Crime writing must be a tricky thing - you want a mystery complex enough that the reader doesn't quite see the revelation coming, and yet also clear enough that when the killer is revealed then it immediately makes sense - it should of course be clear how they did it, why they did it, and basically tie everything up.

Unfortunately, "The Cuckoo's Calling" fails that latter test. I had previously considered the character in question as the killer, but discarded him for a pretty obvious reason. (Though, admittedly, I was largely considering him because of the Gene Hunt law of crime fighting, rather than any good reason.)

The problem didn't lie with the murder itself. The means, motive, and opportunity all fit together perfectly well, so there was no problem there. Unfortunately, the bigger problem was that if that character was the killer then his other actions in the novel just don't fit.

Now, in fairness, JKR does try to resolve this by explaining what the character wanted to achieve through his actions. But the explanation is simply madness - the character would need to assume that another character, whom he had never met as an adult, was precisely competent enough to find this, this, and this, but just not quite competent enough to find that and that.

But then that means... alas, the more the story tries to fit together, the more it unravels. It's like trying to fix a slightly bendy floorboard by stamping on the raised end - doing so fixes the one problem but it creates others.

Which is a real shame, because for 520ish pages out of 550 it was a really good book. (There's also an issue with the epilogue, which seems determined to ignore some inconvenient facts in order to secure the mega-happy ending - exactly like Dumbledore's blatant cheating of the system in order to secure a Gryffindor win in the first Harry Potter book. But that's a comparitively minor problem.)

Still, it's good enough that I'll probably read the sequel when it comes out in paperback next year. Assuming it's again in the "2 books for £7" offer, of course.

#37: "Solo", by William Boyd
#38: "The Cuckoo's Calling", by Robert Galbraith

Markers

I've been reading "Solo" recently, the new James Bond novel by William Boyd. It's a fairly decent read, although surprisingly lacking in thrills. However, while it's a decent novel, it's just not a very good James Bond novel.

I've been thinking about just why this is, and I have a theory. Unfortunately, if correct that theory means that nobody can ever again write a good new James Bond novel. Indeed, even Ian Fleming couldn't write a good new James Bond novel at this point (if he were alive, of course).

The issue is what I call 'markers'.

In certain series there are distinct markers that are used as a shorthand to the audience to put them at ease and make them comfortable. A Superman film will never deviate very far from the classic suit design, will have Clark Kent as Superman, will have Lois Lane as the love interest, and Lex Luthor will never be too far from the scene (as I understand it, he's in the sequel). Similarly, Batman is Bruce Wayne, the orphan billionaire. Similarly, when casting the new Star Trek movies, there was a need that Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto bore a certain physical resemblance to Shatner and Nimoy, respectively. A Star Wars movie pretty much must include lightsabers (and, probably, two particular droids).

And so on.

With the James Bond movies, the set of markers has become quite extensive, indeed to the point where pretty much anyone could write a (really bad) James Bond movie: take two or three exotic locations, three gadgets from Q-branch, a car packed with all sorts of gadgets, three attractive women (he's been upgraded - it used to be two), a bad guy with some sort of obscure physical defect, "vodka martini", "Bond, James Bond", the Walther PPK, some terrible puns... give them a good shake together, and it's done.

(And, yes, "Casino Royale" didn't use all of these, and subverted some others, but actually that was rather the point in that movie. But with "Skyfall" we're back to business as usual.)

The thing is, though, that the James Bond novels also have a set of markers. And these are both subtly different from those in the movies and also, in a few cases, they're incompatible with the ones in the movies - for instance, Bond drives a different car, and drinks a different drink, and is very particular about such things.

The problem is that the majority of readers of a new Bond novel will be people who have only ever seen the films. They will, therefore, expect the novel to contain the various markers that they're used to. And for commercial reasons, therefore, the novel needs to match those expectations.

Conversely, people who have read the novels will expect any new work to serve as a companion piece - they'll be looking for the markers from the novels.

In order to succeed, therefore, a new Bond novel needs to satisfy both. But since the markers are incompatible, this cannot be done.

There have been three recent attempts to write a new Bond novel, and thus three attempts to square that circle. Of these, I've read one, skipped one, and am reading the third. (I skipped Deaver's attempt as I have no real interest in a "literary reboot" of Bond. I find the notion of a continuing adventure, set in the 60's, interesting, but not any update.)

For much of its length, I found "Devil May Care" by Sebastian Faulks to be an excellent read - for about 200 pages it's almost indistinguishable. Unfortunately, it completely goes to pieces in the last third, turning into a bad Roger Moore Bond film in tone. Such a shame.

William Boyd has taken a very different tack, though. Where Faulks tried to write "as Ian Fleming", Boyd has instead absorbed the existing novels and then written his own novel. Essentially, he's doing a work "inspired by" Fleming's novels. Which is a fine approach, I guess, and it gives me reason enough to consider looking up his other works. But the truth is that I wasn't looking for a William Boyd novel; I was hoping for a James Bond novel, and by that metric it fails. Again, a shame.

I will be interested to see if they do another attempt at a new James Bond novel, and if so in who they choose to write it. Assuming it's again set in the 'classic' time, and assuming it's a continuation rather than another reboot, I'll no doubt pick it up and give it a read... and then complain about it again. Still, I do think it's a worthwhile exercise; if nothing else, it helps me identify authors that might be worth giving a look in their own right.

#36: "Doctor Who: Adventures in Time and Space Limited Edition Rulebook", by Cublicle Seven

Success!

The bathroom ceiling is now dry, and unlike previous attempts this one has actually succeeded - no nasty cracks all across it.

So, that's that job done.

Dear Tabloids...

If it's not too much trouble could you please, please stop trying to talk us into a war with Russia? At present the situation in Ukraine looks really bad, and it's certainly very tense all around, but there's far more that we don't know than that we do. The last thing we need is people pouring large amounts of oil on it.

I should probably make clear at this point that I'm not defending Vladimir Putin. By all accounts, he's not a particularly nice person, in charge of a not-particularly-nice government. But there are three things to be considered:

1. He's not a modern-day Hitler or Stalin. He's just not. Behave.
2. It's fair to say that our own leaders aren't particularly nice either. For instance, I'm not entirely convinced that Russia's anti-gay agenda is really worse than telling terminally ill people that they're fit to work. And, of course, after Iraq we don't really have any moral high ground on the issue of invading other countries.
3. Probably most important, though: nice or not, Vladimir Putin is smart. In fact, he appears to be a good bit more intelligent than our leaders. So if he is indeed the mastermind behind the shooting down of this plane, it's because he's trying to start a war, and that because his forces are ready. That's something rather important to consider before rushing in.

Military action against Russia may now be inevitable. It may even be the right thing to do. But it also goes beyond being something we don't want to do unless we absolutely must - it's something we don't want to do even if we absolutely must. Because even if we 'win', we'd end up vastly the worse off for it having been done.

So, yeah, rather than the daily set of headlines designed to out-outrage your rivals in order to sell copy, with the by-product of talking us into a war we really don't want to fight, could you please STFU and let cooler heads prevail? I'm sure Jordan has some tasty revelations about her private life you could cover instead. (And, incidentally, that goes for the BBC and, especially, Sky News as well.)

Update on Goals

Another 50 days done, reaching day 200 of the year. So, time for another update...

• Weight: This hasn't gone well - as usual, my trip away caused a nasty weight gain which means I'm actually worse than where I started. Hopefully the remaining 165 days of the year will be more effective on this one.
• Work: Work remains good. That said, I've been on holiday for the past week and a half, so I couldn't really complain, could I? I'm hoping the remainder of the year goes the same way, and if so then I'll be happy indeed.
• Books: I'm now, suddenly, ahead on this goal - I've read 35 of the books for the year, taking me to the end of July, and I'm not without hope I'll actually hit 38 by the end of this month. Better yet, I'm up to date on all of my sub-goals, with the sole exception of the Pathfinder which, due to an oddity in the release schedule, doesn't have an entry in July but instead has two in August. So that's good.
• Games: There's not been much movement on this one. I played in another session of Numenera, completing that sub-goal, which means the only thing remaining are my one-shot games. I have two scheduled, "Ultraviolet: 2XS" and "Firefly: Inglorious", which leaves me one short of my target. I'm hoping to schedule something in October, but that remains to firm up - I'll update next time.
• Maintenance: I had a 'final' attempt at fixing the bathroom ceiling, but it didn't work. I'm now in the process of having one more, really final this time, attempt at the same. One way or another, I'll have an answer on that by Monday. Lady Chocolat has also graciously taken the carpet cleaning off my hands, so that's no longer an issue. Those two done, this goal will be belatedly finished.
• Computer: This was completed last time.
• Money: One payment to go, and so by this time next month I'll have completed this goal.

And that's that. The above is almost exactly what I predicted with my last update, and I'm pretty happy with it. The only goal that remains problematic is the first one, and that's not really a surprise when looked at objectively.

The next update should be on the 7th of September. I don't expect to have too much to report at that stage - I expect the Work and Books goals should now remain on target, and that the Maintenance and Money goals will join the Computer goal in being completed. I do hope to have some progress to report on the Weight issue, and I'll have come to a decision regarding games for the remainder of the year, one way or another.

By the next update, the band's competition season will also be complete, so at that point I'll have something to report there, too.

The Order of Willie Scott

So, I went to see "Transformers: Age of Extinction" last night. I'm not going to bother with much of a review: Michael Bay has these down to a fine art now, so if you liked the first three you'll like this; if you didn't like the first three, you won't like this. For what it's worth, I rate them 2 > 4 > 1 > 3, but that's like rating Spice Girls singles - they're just varying levels of awfulness.

(That said, I did like some things: most of the Autobot character designs; Hound; the Dinobots!; Prime's original disuise form; that Prime had the Autobot shield in his new disguise form; Frasier Crane's character; and the Dinobots!)

But I'm getting really sick of a particular depiction of women that seems to crop up in films rather too often, which I have chosen to call the Order of Willie Scott, after the character in "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom".

This character type is distinguished as follows: the actress is cast because she looks good but usually (but not always) lacks any acting experience and indeed talent. The character is then portrayed as being completely useless. She exists to shriek at opportune moments, to get herself into all sorts of trouble, and to generally motivate the manly men to go off on their adventures. As a side-order of awfulness, the character is usually (but again, not always) depicted as being 'strong' by virtue of constantly defying the paternalistic male figure in her life - be that her father as here, or the hero (who, by virtue of being the hero must of course be the surrogate father-figure /sarcasm) - generally serving to get herself into yet more trouble.

Now, in fairness, there is a certain counter-argument here: faced with a war between giant transforming robots, it's not really a surprise that someone might go to pieces. Indeed, there was one scene in particular that would have had me curling up in a ball and just accepting death. But that's actually part of the point: in film, it's invariably the female character (especially the OWS) who cries, and cowers, and gets rescued, while the manly men bellow, and stand, and do the rescuing. It's not a realistic human response to danger; it's a patronising faux-female response to danger.

(The reality, with something like this, is that some people would be shattered and some would adapt more quickly. But it's likely that that adaptation wouldn't cut across the 'classic' lines: faced with a war between giant transforming robots, there's no telling whether it would be the manly man or his seventeen year old daughter who is better able to cope. Indeed, there's an argument for it being the latter, as she has less life experience to be confounded.)

So, I'm afraid I'm going to have to induct Nicola Peltz's Tessa Yeager into the Order of Willie Scott, alongside Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's Carly, and of course Willie Scott herself (but, incidentally, not Megan Fox's Mikaela Banes - Michael Bay does actually know how to do better, he just chooses not to).

(Of course, I've also previously complained about the 'fake' badass warrior woman - the one who is portrayed as being tough and independent and awesome... right up to the point where the script-writers need to establish how great the 'real' hero is, at which point she'll need rescued. I don't like that either. My preference is for characters like Lady Sif from "Thor", Eowyn from "Lord of the Rings", Delenn or Susan Ivonova from "Babylon 5", Sarah Connor from "Terminator", or Ellen Ripley from "Alien".)

Actually, it occurs to me that "Transformers: Age of Extinction" could have been improved hugely by the simple expedient of changing the sex of Mark Wahlberg's character. Though it should be noted that I didn't see anything wrong with his performance.

-ary

A couple of years ago, I complained that "How I Met Your Mother" had run into problems, largely because it had fallen into a holding pattern. I was actually quite dismayed when the 9th season was announced, because while I wasn't enjoying it, I felt a need to see it through to the end (see also: Wheel of Time, Song of Ice and Fire, Outlander). But I actually enjoyed most of the 9th season - the need to bring things to a close forced the writers to actually get moving and tell their story (see also: the last book of Wheel of Time), and the introduction of The Mother added a whole new dimension to the show. Good stuff.

Then they did the finale, and managed to completely blow it.

Of course, most of the discussions about the show have already been had, probably those months ago when it finished in the US, so I'll be brief. My problems with the finale were threefold:

1. They casually threw away basically all of the character growth and change of the past several years. I actually complained about Barney's "growing up" those two years ago, but it was an undeniable aspect of the character, and his and Robin's relationship was pretty key. And then then threw it away, had him revert back to his former persona... and then do another 180 turn in an instant. Not good. Similarly, one of the key features of the last season was Ted's finally realising that Robin was not the one for him, and that he had to let her go. And then they turned that one around, too. Good work, there. The only characters who weren't betrayed by this were Marshall and Lily... who had basically remained constant throughout so had nothing to revert back to.
2. Likewise, The Mother was very badly treated. That character had been crucial to so much in the show, even before she was seen, and then the cast and writers had done an exceptional job of showing that she and Ted were indeed right for each other (even without showing us the meeting). And there, again, she was written out in about fifteen seconds, because time was short. Again, not good.
3. But the big issue was the epilogue, where it's revealed that the story's not really about how Ted met The Mother at all but, surprise!, it's all about Ted and Robin after all. And so we get a theoretical happy ending: Ted and Robin live happily ever after. But there's a massive problem with that: the show spent years making it abundantly clear that while Ted really wanted Robin to be The One, she just wasn't right for him. It had taken him an awful lot to realise that, and caused a huge amount of heartbreak along the way (messing up all sorts of stuff between them), but it was true: Robin just was not right for Ted - he was in love with an imagined version of her, not the reality. (I think perhaps the issue here was that their hands were tied by virtue of having filmed the scene with the kids a decade ago, and couldn't reshoot due to them aging in the meantime. But while this explains the problems, it doesn't so readily excuse them.)

So, anyway, that's that. And now I have another gap in my TV schedule to fill - counting everything there are maybe only half a dozen shows to watch all year.

Silence Falls

August is the month of the Seventh Doctor, as portrayed by Sylvester McCoy - sadly, also the last Doctor of the classic era. Thanks to the machinations of the BBC, I actually missed a large chunk of McCoy's tenure - I missed his first companion entirely, and saw only parts of the adventures with Ace!.

Unfortunately, having viewed some of the McCoy stories later, I'm inclined to think that cancellation actually was the best thing for the show. The reality was that computer SFX were just hitting big in the US but they were still very expensive. So Doctor Who was never going to match up with "Star Trek: the Next Generation", never mind "Babylon 5" and the shows that followed it. It really needed massive investment or it would look really cheap... and the BBC weren't in a position to give it the investment it needed.

Faced with that, I'm afraid cancellation was necessary. And in some ways it was good - it allowed a new generation of fans to grow up, and led directly to the RTD and Moffat eras.

This month's short story is titled "Ripple Effect", and is by Malorie Blackman. As the name may imply, it deals with the Doctor (aided by Ace!) making an unwise decision and the consequences being far reaching indeed. It features Daleks, but not as we know them...

It was a good read, certainly being a decent diversion for an hour or so. Still, as with so many of these short stories, it barely gets going before it's time to wrap up. In particular, I think I would have preferred a bit more deciding to fix the problem and a bit less being forced to fix the problem - there was an interesting dilemma there, but it was largely sidestepped by the urgency of the situation.

The novel was "Remembrance of the Daleks", by Ben Aaronovitch, the novelisation of his serial of the same name.

I suppose that was an inevitable choice - when picking eleven novels for a "50th anniversary collection" there are a few things you have to include: one featuring each Doctor, one each with Daleks, the Master, Cybermen... one written by Terrance Dicks, and one novelisation. This hits three of those in one fell swoop. And with it also being Ben Aaronovitch's first published novel, and given his later success elsewhere, it must have been a no-brainer to include it.

It's fair to say, though, that it wouldn't have been my choice.

There's nothing particularly wrong with "Remembrance..." Indeed, given that it was the last Dalek story for years, it made for a good ending for their particular story. And yet, it suffers a bit, as do many of the seventh Doctor stories, by the Doctor having a plan that he's following but which looks like a completely random sequence of actions. He goes here and does that, then he goes there and does this, and then... it all comes together. That makes things quite frustrating - it's as if some exposition is just missing.

The novelisation of "Remembrance..." also suffers from much the same flaw as I found with "From Russia With Love" - with that Bond story the film captured the essence of the book so well (and with "Remembrance..." it's the reverse) that it just seems redundant - yes, it's a decent story, well told and well written, but... I've seen it before. I can't read it without Sylvester McCoy's voice in my head, delivering exactly those lines. When Ace! says "but professor..." it's Sophie Aldred I hear. I know the story, I've seen it relatively recently, so why bother reading it?

None of which is Ben Aaronovitch's fault, of course. Indeed, one could argue that that's exactly what you want from a novelisation. But it does hopefully explain why I think I would rather have had something else instead.

Anyway, that's the classic era done. Next up is poor Paul McGann's Eighth Doctor, the longest and the shortest. I always felt that while his TV movie was pretty terrible, he himself could have been a great Doctor, and I was really glad to see him get another chance in "Night of the Doctor". So I'm rather looking forward to next month's adventures in time and space...

#30: "Firefly Roleplaying Game: Core Book", by Margaret Weis Productions
#31: "Cross-Stitch" ("Outlander in the US), by Diana Gabaldon (A book from The List)
#32: "Doctor Who: Remembrance of the Daleks", by Ben Aaronovitch
#33: "The Science of Discworld IV: Judgement Day", by Terry Pratchett, Ian Stewart, and Jack Cohen
#34: "Ender's Game", by Orson Scott Card (A book from The List)
#35: "The Crusader Road", by Michael A. Stackpole

The Riding of the Marches 2014

Another week, another competition. We at least got to play at this one, and did much better than we'd expected (we had real problems getting set up to play). We came 6th out of 8, which wasn't great but wasn't too bad, all things considered.

I also mostly enjoyed the parade through the streets, as the weather was nice and lots of people had come out in support. Also, some of the groups in the parade were really quite creative - I particularly liked the "Riding of the Minions".

Ultimately, though, it really wasn't the best of days, for all the usual reasons.

Oh well. There are now six competitions to go (two Championships and four minors), and then the season will be done. I'm looking forward to that.

(One thing that wasn't particularly good either is that I'm still wading through the book I was reading last year, which I'm still not enjoying. Still, I only have 155 pages to go...)

The Coffee Penance Ends

A couple of years ago, in a bid to distract me from my Irn Bru problem, I started drinking coffee at work (with the consequence that I now have both an Irn Bru problem and a coffee problem). After a few weeks of trying out various types and brands of coffee, I settled on Kenco's "Columbian" coffee as my drink of choice. Which is mostly fine and uncontroversial.

Unfortunately, Tesco in Falkirk have decided to become rubbish, and seem to be intent on reducing the range of things that they carry or, worse, stocking them only erratically. This has already had the terrible ordeal of forcing me to to buy green! mouthwash on one occasion (and, horribly, they've also sometimes had the green! and red! mouthwash on offer but not the blue stuff, provoking the most terrible of dilemmas). And the same has applied to coffee - naturally, they've retained a fairly extensive range but become erratic in stocking the one I actually want.

So, the last time I found myself running out of coffee, Tesco were of course out of stock. So, rather than go a week without, I was forced to try an alternative. After much careful consideration, I plumped for Nescafe's "Blend 37", that being one I hadn't had before. (Nescafe also have a "Columbian" coffee, but I've learned in the past that this is a cruel trick.)

So, I picked up a jar of "Blend 37", and that should have been the end of it. It was horrible, but it was just one jar and so just three weeks of bad coffee - not a disaster. And, indeed, had it been one jar I might even have been tempted to throw it away as soon as I could get an alternative. A waste, to be sure, but one I could blame on Tesco and so move on.

But I made a terrible, stupid mistake. See, I'd run out of coffee both at home and at work (because I'd run out at work and so taken the jar from home to work, and then run out again). So, having decided to try "Blend 37", just as I was about to move on... I picked up a second jar for the flat!

Naturally, this was a total disaster. I don't even drink coffee at home all that much, and could have easily managed without for a week. But, no, I grabbed the second jar of granulated horribleness, took it home, and then discovered my mistake (whereupon I didn't drink any coffee at home for weeks).

This of course created a bigger problem - it wasn't one jar but two, and it wasn't Tesco's fault but my own stupid mistake that caused the problem. Consequently, just throwing the coffee away wasn't an option. It had to be drunk.

(Plus, in another cruel irony, the coffee went from "dire" to merely "horrible" by switching from a heaped tablespoon per mug to two-thirds of that... meaning it lasted even longer. Gah!)

The upshot of that is that today is a day of celebration - I finally finished the last of "Blend 37"! And since I picked up some more as soon as it came back into stock, I can resume Kenco's "Columbian" on Monday. Huzzah!

Making an Exception

Over the past few weeks, I've been gradually reading through the rulebook for the new Firefly RPG. And, naturally enough, once I've finished it I'll be wanting to add it to my list of books read for the year.

There's just one thing, though. Back when I started recording the list of books read, I set up a number of rules: it's a book if the publishers say it's a book; one set of covers is one book; and when tackling an anthology of which I've already read part, I only need to read the 'new bits' to count the whole. In particular, that "one set of covers" rule has a corollary that eBooks don't count (not having covers). Indeed, I specifically noted this restriction way way back when I first posted on the topic.

The reason that that matters is that the Firefly RPG is a PDF, as the hardcopy hasn't arrived yet - it's on pre-order with Amazon, but has been delayed since March (-ish). Having gotten bored waiting, and since the electronic form of RPGs is frequently useful when preparing anyway, I picked up the PDF at fairly low cost, and have since started reading that.

So, I found myself with something of a dilemma - how to add the Firefly RPG to the list of books while adhering to my self-imposed rules?

So, I considered not including Firefly on the list, on the grounds that the rules exclude it. I also considered deliberately stopping just short of finishing the book until the hard-copy arrived, and then reading the last page or two in the physical version (and thus sneaking it in under the 'new bits' clause). At which point I decided that that was pretty absurd.

At length, I've decided to make an exception to the rules, and just include it once it's finished. If nothing else, when the physical copy arrives I'll take a look through it anyway, at which point I can sneak it in under the 'new bits' rule - per standard logic rules "all the new bits" evaluates to TRUE if there are no new bits. (Besides, I actually do expect there to be a couple of new bits - probably some back-cover blurb and one or more adverts for upcoming products - that have been omitted from the PDF.)

As a general principle, it's probably time to relax the "one set of covers" rule to admit eBooks and PDFs. (Not that I expect to make much use of such a clause, as I have neither a Kindle nor iPad, and don't like reading PDFs or eBooks on a PC screen.) The only problem there is that it's not immediately obvious how such things should be measured - if I were to get a compiled PDF of, say, the "Hunger Games" trilogy, would that count as one book or three? With a physical version, that's obvious, but not so with the electronic form.

(For now, I'll only include electronic versions of things that are also available as physical books, and list them in the same manner as I would the corresponding physical book. So if that electronic version of the "Hunger Games" trilogy matched to a one-book physical version it would count as one, where if it corresponded to a boxed set containing all three then it would count as three. Either way, I'll note when something was in electronic form, and if you really want to take issue with it then you can... though I don't promise not to shake my head sadly in your general direction.)

The European Pipe Band Championships 2014

Brace yourself for a new tale of "The Worst Thing That Has Ever Happened..."

Yesterday was the European Championships, the third of five majors for the year, but the second attended by the pipe band. As with last year, and as will be the case next year, the event took place in Forres, waaay up North.

So, I got up at 4am (!) to get ready for the event. This very early start was necessitated largely by my concern that I'd spend the morning in zombie-state and so need some time to get my brane in gear - as proved to be the case. Still, I made ready and then left the flat, walking through the early-morning sunlight to the bus. Huzzah!

We went to our second pick-up, where there was some concern that out Tenor drummers weren't there. One of these had said she was working and, although she would try, she wasn't sure she could move her shift. The other had been at all previous events, but had missed the practice on Thursday, so there was some concern - did she know the pick-up time? A text was sent; no reply was received, and so we left after a further 15 minutes waiting.

Turned out, she was the lucky one...

The first two hours of the drive up there were uneventful. I read the end of my Pathfinder, having failed to finish it on Friday, I concluded that next year I would definitely go up there on the Friday, event if the band did not (while the Pipe Major was likewise concluding that the band would definitely have to do the same!), and then I started on my next book. (I haven't finished it yet, but will post about it when the time comes. It's not a good one.)

After two hours, we stopped for the driver to get a rest, while the rest of us got some breakfast (second, or third, or something) from a cafe. This was a roal and sausage that was adequate, and some hot brown water that claimed to be coffee (but really wasn't). And then we were on the road again.

About an hour later, some 50 minutes from Forres, suddenly the noise of the engine changed. The bus driver exclaimed, "It's just cut out!" And then there were two miles of gradual slowing down, coupled with some attempts to restart the master engine. But no joy.

We came to a halt in a more-or-less safe bit of road, where there was a third lane in the middle of the road that would allow other traffic to pass. Then, several people disappeared and went crawling under and around the bus (the driver, a guy who drives tankers for a living, and a guy who knows a bit about engines). They fiddled for a bit and thought they'd fixed it (spoiler: they hadn't), and so made their way back on board.

Unfortunately, at this point the driver noticed that the hazard lights weren't working any longer. The battery had gone flat almost immediately. Needless to say, this meant that the bus wouldn't start - a flat battery means no starter motor. So, a call was made to Volvo for someone to come and help.

At this point, it was almost but not quite certain we wouldn't get there in time. So, the pipe major spent some time getting all the chanters ready to play, just in case, and a few people had to get changed on the bus. (Fortunately, I was not among them.) Also, we looked into possibilities of calling ahead to say we'd be late, though it wasn't expected this would help - there have been cases of unscrupulous bands saying they've broken down in order to get to go on last (no, seriously!), so the RSPBA takes a dim view of such things. In any case, it turned out that we couldn't get through, so that was that.

At length, the guy from Volvo came, he fixed the bus at least temporarily, he jump-started the engine, and we were on our way. Apparently the choke switch had triggered by mistake, both cutting off the engine and discharging the battery. Removing the switch removed the problem, though wasn't a 'good' solution as the choke switch is a safety feature. (Though not an absolutely-essential one, more like the airbags in a car - you'd rather have them working than not, but can manage without.)

Unfortunately, by that point it was obvious we couldn't get there in time.

There was then a discussioin about what to do. The truth is that there was no appetite for just turning round and heading straight back (another three hours driving). So we went and saw some of the other bands, left at 4 instead of waiting for the march-past, and got back about 8:45 instead of midnight.

All in all, it was a complete waste of a day, and a fairly uncomfortable one since I was stuck in my uniform all day. Still, it could have been worse, I suppose - it could have been cold and/or raining, or we could have been in real contention for the season and so lost out on our final placing. "Fortunately", we're not, and instead were hoping for a sneaky sixth place just to get something for the year - so not the biggest loss.

But next year, we'll definitely be heading up there the night before!

#28: "Angela's Ashes", by Frank McCourt (A book from The List)
#29: "Pathfinder: Secrets of the Sphinx", by Amber E. Scott

Helensburgh Highland Games 2014

This weekend has been spent almost entirely on band stuff, which isn't ideal - I would really prefer not to have "double headers" of this sort. Still, I believe this is the last one for this year, so that's good.

Saturday was spent at the Grangemouth Gala Day, which was fine - a long parade followed by lunch and then a short massed bands performance. It was hot and sunny, so actually a fairly pleasant day all things considered. (Although I really don't like wearing sunblock, which seems to cause me all sorts of problems. Still, better than the alternative.)

Sunday was then spent at the Helensburgh Highland Games, where we resumed our competition season after a week off (and, since I missed the last competition, I resumed after two weeks off).

The day did not have an auspicious start - the bus took about 90 minutes to get there, but the driver took what seemed an especially winding route there, which meant I spent a lot of that time actually feeling quite sick. Still, we made it through.

The day was, again, hot and sunny. This is always nice, despite the sunblock issue. Additionally, we were fairly relaxed in our preparations, went on, played, and felt pretty good about it - probably our best performance of the year to date.

The rest of the day was okay, albeit boring. I spent most of it reading "Angela's Ashes", which I didn't quite manage to finish. There was an incident, which I'll come back to, but otherwise things were okay.

We came fourth out of five, which was a slightly disappointing result. That said, with so few competitors it's hard to know how we start in relation to other bands - we might have come fourth out of ten, or ninth. So it was at least fairly positive.

And then the journey home was okay. This time, our route took us through Glasgow and on the motorway, which made for a much more pleasant journey. I got home about 8 - a long day, but not the worst.

Alas, it wasn't long after that before my phone started to ring. As I said, there was an incident, part of which I saw but thought nothing of, but the rest of which I'd missed. But there's been a complaint about bullying made, which means of course that we have to take action. Not good.

(Plus, we found out on Friday that our free 'let' of the school we use for practices is going to cease to be free as of August, and since we don't have the money required to pay, we will simply have to find a new practice venue. Also not good. Sometimes it seems that everyone is really keen to have a local pipe band, but very few people actually want to help that band out. Oh well.)